It's been a long time coming, but it's time for the Cutie Mark Crusaders (that is Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo) to FINALLY get their cutie marks. But with this mean they remain friends forever? Will there still be Cutie Mark Crusaders once they've all gotten their cutie marks? Well, I suppose to the title gives it a way, but I still think you'll enjoy reading it.
Author's Notes: Ok, so a few chapters in this will be taken directrly from my previous story, The Apple of my Bulls Eye (which i reccommend reading first as well as the other two installments). I had intended to explore more of the CMC in that story, but I ended up being sidetracked by the main story involving the Man Six (specifically the romance between Applejack & Mal and Pinkie Pie & Braeburn, plus Twilight's pregnancy). So I want to tie up some loose ends before I go into working on the further stories of the Mane Six and their future children. This also marks my triumphant return after months and months of hiatus. I hope you enjoy! Becuase the main focus is the CMC, I'm only tagging them and just putting Other and OC along with them. Will include Babs Seed best as I can, but I'm still getting back into the groove of things. Still keep in mind that this is basically an alternate timeline, where Twilight didn't become an alicorn princess. So most of the continutiy is taking place sometime after the Apple Family Reunion episode. I tagged romance just to be safe. Given how my stories go, it's not out of the question.
Woo! Super excited to see your return man! Can't wait for more expansion on this super fun continuity you've built up.
That being said, I have some really glaring points that jumped out at me in these first couple chapters.
1. These are WAAAY too short. You barely have 1000 words between them!
2. The title of the 1st chapter: I don't know what a "Senyera" is but I have a feeling you meant something along the lines of "Cuteceanera" since it is a pun on the Latin Amercan "Quinceanera"
3. You refer to Apple Bloom as "April" in the first few paragraphs of the 1st chapter, while I do recall her given name as being "Ambrosia" in one of your previous stories. You should consider changing one of these instances to avoid future confusion.
4. You make reference to "Bulk Biceps" in this 2nd chapter. I thought you were already featuring this exact same pony in this continuity as Fluttery's husband Snowflake, are you canonically changing his name as well?
That's all I have for now. But don't get me wrong dude, I am super pumped for this to continue!
Think you mean Equestria, not Canterlot.
Cheerilee.
4846345 Thanks, my bad.
4846157 Any spelling errors or forgetting how I named someone is a result of being on an 8 month hitaus. Also my computer accidentally got reforamtted and I lost my previous fics. April Bloom was in fact a name I gave for a human version of Apple Bloom in a different fic I'm working on. And at first I was going to say that Snowflake was a name for Bluk Biceps when I first planned to start out the story with copy and pasted some previous chapters as they are part of the story. BUUUUUT I had to have original material in order to get approved submission (I had already been denied once becuase my short description wasn't detailed enough. I looked up the spelling for cute-ceañera on the MLP Wiki to fix that little hiccup (I typed it in a search and got taht first spelling, my bad). AND I said in my author's notes clear as day
I'm still getting back in the groove of things and I'm not too concerned with everything being amazingly detailed with specific actions being taken. I saw no other way to make these chapters longer, other than adding superfluous details that won't add anything to the story other than word count. If other writers on here wanna do that, fine, that's their way, but it's not my way. I'm doing this for fun, making no profit from all this so I figure keeping it simple means I can get this stuff out quicker. Any spelling errors I can go back and fix when people point them out. So I may not make it to the feature box, oh well. I already know I have a bunch of users on here who enjoy my work and I can count on them to read more stuff.
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Right on, take your time man!
Just thought I'd give you a razzing since it's been so long since we've heard from you. I am genuinely looking forward to this continuing.
4846572 I'm glad to hear that. And yeah I'm glad to be back.
About damn time I got to this one. Huh, can't remember if we've heard AB and BM's full names, but nice to see them!
Wonderbolts, not Wonder Bolts.
Wow, somepony actually managed to get through to 2/3 of the most stubborn mares/filly in Ponyville? Give that stallion a medal!
4931940 I gave them those full names in my first TwiMacVerse story.
4931953 Well he is her husband. I like to think he can help balance her out some.
Nothing wrong with a bit of SpikeBelle, I've done it myself a couple of times. Think I am actually doing SpikeBloom in one of them as well.
Anyway, why do I get the feeling that Rarity was listening in? I can see it now; as soon as Sweetie Belle is better, dating dips and a new dress for the mini-marshmallow.
Coach Snowflake is best coach, and a good husbando.
I'm surprised that I didn't know about this story. I hope everything goes well with continuing this story and this series. Great job. I can't wait to read what happens next. I hope who Scootaloo is going to have a crush on. Good Luck. I am really excited about you continuing this series.
5137611 Glad to hear. Haven't decided if Scootaloo will have a love interest or not, but nothing is written in stone.
5137637 Well Good luck. I can't wait to read the next chapter. I can't read part 4 when it finally come out.
Great chapter. I think that was nice to read about Mac and Bloom getting better.
5150061 Glad you liked it.
Damn, she almost broke a tree? Well, I don't think she needs to worry about Mac if some colt does something she doesn't like.
Thankfully she was gonna
Extra quotation mark and on different lines.
Extra quotation mark.
Hehehe, time for Scootaloo to become a nerd!
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5150725 I was up late writing plus the 6th chapter came to me pretty quick so I wrote quick without really checking the errors. Thankfully I can easily fix that. Still, thanks for pointing them out to me.
Sweet. I was surprised to see another chapter was publsihed. Great job. Good luck with the next one.
Nice job with this chapter. I think you did a great job. I can't wait to see how the talent show turns out. Good luck. I wonder though. Who is Applebloom's crush again?
5245663 I don't recall setting one up for her.
5245716 Maybe in the next few chapters?
5245786 Maybe, I don't have anything really set.
5245981 I guess we will see in future chapters. No?
5245986 Right now it's a maybe.
Later on, Sweetie Belle
Hmm.... songs for Sweetie Belle...
Nope, got nothing there, sorry.
5247706 Thanks for that, and don't worry, I'll think of something. I just figured I'd ask readers.
6124141 Thanks, I'm glad you like it. Things have been a bit hectic lately, so I haven't had much time to write/had the inspiration to write stuff, but I hope to work on some things soon.
Nice to see a new chapter at last, and what a chapter it was.
Thanks for the new chapter. I like it. I wonder where Scoots is going to end up. I guess we may see by the end of this story.
So Scoot's big secret is out there. I am surprised on how maturely Rainbow is acting. I can't wait to read what happens next. Thanks for the update.
6329181 I like to think Bookworm has been a good influence on Rainbow Dash. She's still herself what with the "HOW COULD YOU BE SO BUCKING STUPID!?" line. I'll be honest I came up with Scootaloo being abandoned by her parents as I was writing this chapter. This far in I didn't think I could fit Scootaloo's parents in, and I didn't want to go with the cliched orphan Scootaloo (nothing against those stories) so I went with this cliche. Hope to update again soon!
Hi there, just finished all of your TwiMac stories so far. Just can't wait for that one to go further :)
i hope there will be more twimac storys i really enjoy them
Nice choice of song. And the cutie mark design wasn't bad either.
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I'd always planned to use a song Michelle Creber had sung to make it easier for readers to visualize how it would sound. As the for the cutie mark design, pretty sure others have used it too. Still, glad you liked it.
argh !!!!!!!!!!!!!! cliff hangers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“I DIDN’T SEE FIFTY LAPS, LADIES!”
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Especially the part about unicorns flying