“Smaug,” I rubbed my forehead in agitation. “I just want you to listen to me and listen well. For the last time, I will not wear those things.”
“Why not?” Smaug narrowed his eyes, holding a pair of diamond high heels. They shone beautifully in the light and he’d been trying to get me into them for the last few hours.
“Because I’m a quadruped first,” I huffed and crossed my arms. “High heels are impractical for ponies and I just don’t see the appeal. Besides, how am I supposed to fight in those things?” I quirked an eyebrow. As Starswirl and my own mother would say, hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
Smaug snarled. “None would dare fight against a dragon, least of all those lakemen.” He spat out the last word like it was poison. This outing wasn’t going to go all that well if he kept up that attitude. I’d have to stick close to him and turn on the charm. Hopefully, he’ll keep his attention on me and have a little fun. ‘Hopefully’ is the key word here. Best case scenario, he could start learning the magic of friendship. I don't have high hopes for that happening today, but I can hope nonetheless. “And that is why these will suit you. They shine as fine as any jewel in my hoard. The people of the town will eye them with envy, knowing my treasure is the greatest in all the lands.”
I pouted. “So you just want me to wear them because they’re shiny?” I would never have tried to tease Smaug when I first came to this world. Teasing a dragon is a surefire way to get killed. Yet, I loved seeing him flustered and squirm. It was so cute and I had to resist pulling him into a big hug. I’m sure he’d appreciate one in this form since I have two pillows on my chest for him to rest on. Human biology quirks.
I mean, it’d be weird for him to rest his head on my own alicorn tits….unless he was tasting me….Keep it together. You’re not ready for that sort of thing.
“All my hoard shines,” Smaug huffed. “But you are the most unique piece of it. I want you to shine like your sun and show the world the greatness of my horde.”
That….actually was kind of sweet, in a draconic sort of way. He just wanted me to look my best, but I was still apprehensive about the whole ‘high heels’ thing. No offense to any humans who do enjoy them, and I know a few who did very much so, they’re just not for equines such as myself. Still, he was adamant and that look in his eyes was hard to argue with. It wasn’t hostile. It was imploring. I turned my heel. “Do my golden slippers not meet your expectation?”
“It does in it’s own way,” Smaug eyed the shoes with the same lust he viewed every piece of his horde. Well, except for me. That lust was something different. It made my spine quiver. I did my best to return the favor.
“Do they?” I turned, flexing my legs for him as I showed off my shoes. Legs, just like the butt, I find to be crucial to beauty. Though, again, the butt is my favorite part to focus on. Still, it was clear Smaug’s human guise was affecting his senses, since he was drinking up my form like he was addicted. I couldn’t help but blush slightly at that. I have had countless males fawn over me, but someone as powerful as Smaug? Well, perhaps but they weren’t exactly….likable. I slightly turned my leg a bit further, pulling up my dress. “Huh, my golden slippers shine rather well on their own.”
Smaug twitched in agitation, tearing his eyes off my legs. He definitely has a strong will….for now~ “But you need more gems, my precious jewel. Diamonds, sapphires, rubies. All that and more. How else are those treacherous lakemen supposed to see the wealth I have?”
“They’ll be in awe no matter what we wear,” I corrected him, holding up a finger to boop his nose. “They may be just humans, but they can still sense some of our powers if we let them. All we have to do is let them and they’ll know of your might, oh great and powerful Smaug.”
“Hmm,” Smaug seemed to lose himself in his thoughts. He often made those little rumble noises in his chest as he did. I’m sad to see the clothes keep that amazing chest hidden. To see those scales or fur proudly flexing over that chest was a sight to behold. “That is true. Still, it would be best if you wore more gold.”
I tapped his nose, causing him to flinch away. “Smaug, no.” I sighed. He was the most stubborn dragon I have ever met. “Look, I will dress as I please this time. Next time we go out, I’ll wear whatever you like. Is that fair?”
Smaug sighed and nodded. “That is fair. You may go with such little gold. You are already perfect, my precious jewel.” I smiled in satisfaction. “However, these diamonds would look wonderful on you.” He held up the high heels.
I gave him my best ‘unamused’ face. I picked one up. “Smaug, I could kill someone with these heels.” Seriously, I can. High heels are lethal weapons ready for action. I mean, just look at these pointy heels.
“Yes,” Smaug seemed to smile at that prospect.
“There will be no killing and/or maiming at the festival,” I snapped at him. “We are going to there to have fun and relax.” Not to mention make lots of friends.
“And killing isn’t fun?” Smaug seemed a tad bit confused….I can’t believe this. Cake! I need my stress food.
“You know what,” I took the other heel. I was surrendering. “I’ll wear them.”
Smaug’s wide smile was so adorable~ I wanted to pinch his little cheek. Was this just about the shoes? They’re just shoes, nothing….he can’t be courting me, can he? Dragons usually give their mates to be all sorts of gems and jewel, the biggest kills, anything to catch their lover’s eyes and show them to be fit mates. Now Smaug was giving me things just because he wanted to….
Was it always this hot in here? No, it couldn’t have been. Yet I was so hot and my face felt like it was turning red. No, I couldn’t be blushing. He isn’t trying to court me. He just thinks of myself as a trinket and perhaps as a friend….Oh who am I kidding. With how he’s been acting lately, given my teasing, I can see this. Was it time to move on to the next step? No...I’m sure we can wait.
He’ll find someone else. Someone better and you’ll be alone like you always are.
I grit my teeth and banished away those thoughts. I wasn’t going to be alone anymore. I don’t want to be alone. I’ll take what is mine when it was due time….wait, did I call Smaug mine? Oh dear, I’m becoming like him. Oh dear, oh dear. I am not possessive of my dragon. Wait, my dragon?
It’s worse than I feared. Okay, I can salvage this. I just won’t think any sexy thoughts about Smaug…….
BLAST IT! NOT EVEN TWO SECONDS!
“Celestia,” Smaug’s wondrous voice spoke up. “You’ve turned a shade of red darker than even my own hide. Are you alright? I’m not sure if this is a normal human thing.”
I cleared my throat and tried my best to hide my blush. “N-No, I’m fine. I’ll wear the high heels and some rings, oh Smaug the dragon dread.” Smaug nodded, still as pleased and cute as ever. I sat down on an old chest and put on my new shoes. “Now let’s go over our names again, shall we?”
Smaug groaned. “I will not. Your insipid little title does not do me justice.”
“Benedict Cumberbatch is a good name.”
“Only a inane mother who despised her offspring with every fiber of her being would name her child such,” Smaug argued.
I huffed and then pouted. “You don’t like it?” I sniffed. “I’m sorry Smaug. I spent a lot of time working on it and-”
“No,” Smaug quickly said. “Don’t cry. You know how I hate that noise. It’s irritating and you are my jewel. You are to be forever happy. I’ll,” he grit his teeth and growled. “Keep that infernal title.”
“Good,” I nodded with a smile. “While we’re in town, you may refer to me as Megan Cumberbatch, your wife.”
“No,” was Smaug’s reply.
“Why ever not?” It was a good name.
“You don’t smell of me,” Smaug closed the distance, narrowing his eyes. He’s even adorable when he’s trying to be serious. “You smell of my hoard, but not of me.” He took a long whiff. “You are unmated and pure. No one would fall for this ruse. Perhaps we should fix that.”
I’m blushing again! Blast this dragon. At this rate, I’ll be a fiery inferno like my sun. “W-we can put that on hold. Humans don’t have powerful noses.”
“That is true,” Smaug scowled. “So...we won’t have to consummate then.”
DO IT, YOU IDIOT! “I’m thankful you see my point.” NO I’M NOT! Be assertive, Smaug. Just do it because I can’t bloody well make up my mind whether I can work up the nerve or not. I stood up. “Now WHA!” And thusly tripped over my new heels.
Human feet can be tricky.
Smaug caught me before I hit the ground. “This is why I told you we shouldn’t wear these forms. Too unbalanced and weak.”
I snorted. “Well, it appears you are right on this venture.” It wouldn’t be that hard to walk in these things. Just a quick spell and I could run in high heels through a jungle. However…. “Can you carry me?”
“You are a grown female,” Smaug frowned.
“But I’m a weak female,” I pouted, giving his big, doe eyes. “A weak female in your possession. You don’t want me to break, do you? Not when you have these big, strong arms. There never was a dragon as strong as you.”
Smaug beamed. “No, there hasn’t.” He then frowned. “I still think-”
“Pwease~” I jutted out my lower lip and made it quiver.
Smaug growled. “Fine. I will carry you only because you’re weak.” He roughly picked me up and held me in his arms. I squeaked in surprise, not becoming of a princess. It didn’t help that one of his hands was roughly grasping my, AH~, butt.
“Smaug,” I gulped, trying to still my heart. “Do you have to grasp my bottom so?”
“Your bottom belongs to me,” Smaug growled, squeezing harder. Ashamedly, I couldn’t help but moan at the touch. Another reason why I think butts are the best parts of a lady. “I can touch it as much as I want and in any way I wish.”
“....Can you do it harder?”
Smaug closed his eyes and started making the long trip to the town. “You’re trying my patience, my precious jewel.”
And you’re trying mine, you sexy drake~
_______________________________________________________________
I should be hunting dwarves right now. I should be killing dwarves right now. I should be mounting Thorin’s head on my spike right now! None of that was happening as of now. No. I had to kill some wretched humans and capture something for my master. Instead, my spawn would be having all the fun. As long he brought back Thorin’s damnable head, I would have some satisfaction in this.
If my master was anyone else, I would have slain them on the spot for making me give up my rightful hunt. That runt of a king cut off my hand. He was going to pay and only spilling his blood would right this. No, I had to give up my hunt. I hoped that little town would offer something of a challenge. My force was small, barely five thousand strong. Yet it was more than enough to kill anything that stood in my way. I will kill them quickly and take my prize. My spawn is an excellent hunter, but Thorin rides with a wizard. They are crafty and hard to kill. He will live. I was happy about that. He would offer me the challenge of a lifetime.
One of my waagh riders came to my side. “The human town is not far from here. It looks like they’re celebrating something.”
I chuckled. “They are celebrating their last breaths. We will attack in the morning.” My master told me enough about dragons to know how to fight them. Dragons eyes are weak in the meager dawnlight. If Smaug attacked, my catapults could bring him down or drive him off. Dragons aren’t as strong as they think they are. Orcs are the strongest and we always win.
That's what she—
Oh. She, uh, did say that.
Huh.
Watching Smaug and Celestia, particularly the latter, lust after each other's human forms was amusing, especially with Celestia mentally desiring that Smaug takes her virginity. Also, Smaug mocking Benedict Cumberbatch's name was hilarious. Great job on the chapter.
Well then. Celestia sure is pent up. Or something. XD
Celestia and Smaug have so much chemestry it's insane. Also, having Smaug human name be Benedict is just great.
Totally called Benedict Cumberbatch there. Please tell me Smaug looks like him as well.
Looks like da ork boyz are ready to get to the fightin'.
Not a shocker, Smaug's human alias. And despite not seeing anything of the earlier generations, I'm glad for the nod with Celestia's alias.
In Equestria's future...
"Papa, why is the Glass Desert, well, glassed?"
"Well my son, when your Grandmother Celestia decided to take Smaug out for their honeymoon, to give the poor guy a taste of things to come, she showed off the fire of the sun. Specifically, nuclear."
"So, she went nuclear like Mama does whenever she sees someone in a terrible hat?"
"Yes."
"SPIKE DON'T YOU DARE TELL THE CHILDREN THAT!"
"And that will by why I am sleeping on the couch tonight."
That was great, and I am very much looking forward to seeing those orcs get an unpleasant surprise in the morning. I get the distinct impression Smaug and Celestia will wind up staying in town for the night and get caught up in that fight which will be tons of fun. Celestia will totally upend things with a massive dose of sunlight leaving the orcs helpless before Smaug's fury (or jubilant murderous rampage because that is how he rolls ).
Nitpicks:
its
hoard
an
...warg?
Celestia's really twitterpated.
I'm so glad I wasn't drinking something, just then.
I've finally figured it out. You are a dragon and your hoard is filled by comments.
I sense some serious comedy coming in the next few chapters. We have the Master of Laketown and a force of orcs about to collide with Smaug and his Most Precious Jewel.
6299177 It's a WAAAGH!!! rider. Dem Ork Boyz have infiltrated Middle Earth
Sorry if you don't get it, it's a Warhammer 40k Reference
My brain hit meltdown for about thirty seconds when it found that Cumberbatch line...
Still snickering ~Dollars.
"Benedict Cumberbatch"
You cheeky bastard! Took me a moment, but I got it. It's going to look odd to see two wealthy looking individuals coming to Lake Town.
"Killing isn't fun?"
What!? Of course it is! Just look at video games. It's very fun!
But I'm getting excited for more Smaug and Celestia. Though it begs the question. Why doesn't Celestia transform into a dragoness? That will really get Smaug going for sure. She will have his scent for sure then.
Middle Earth Orcs just got upgraded to Orks?
Whelp... That's a Planetary Insurance claim.
The booty is mine, it belongs to me!
So since this is now taking place during the trilogy, I'm trying to figure the timing.(especially with all the changes.) Basically what part of the movie are main characters at while this is going?
6299451 Smaug would claim her so quick she wouldn't be able to walk straight for a week...
Thats my guess anyway.
Azog is going to regret going against Smaug. I can totally see Celestia grabbing him in her magic and doing the Puny God Smash routine Hulk pulls on Loki in Avengers. Especially if he's threatening Tilda. And that's if Smaug doesn't incinerate him first.
6299066 I can see Rarity nuking bad fashion.
6299083 I'd forgotten about the Sunlight weakness, mainly because it never seemed to come up in the movies. I always figured it applied more to Goblins than the orcs. I mean, the Battle of Five Armies seems to have taken place in broad daylight and none of the baddies so much as flinched at fighting in the sun.
6299253 Can you say
Orcs and Master???
6299451 Probably she needs more magic to assume such a large form safely. So lots of sunbathing.
Welp, I have to say I laughed when I saw the title of the chapter.
(^_^)
Glad my earlier comment was helpful, and of course I (along with Smaug) am both happy to have gotten my way, and increasingly smitten with the flirty little vixen/goddess that is Celestia.
She may not be experienced in sexual matters, but she's a master of turning every 'defeat' into a victory. Even when she gives in to the dragon, it's only to have him end up being wound a little more tightly around her little finger (or hoof, as the case may be).
Okay, yes, she DID try to argue the point both ways; either the heels make you helpless, OR they're deadly weapons, Tia, which is it?
Still, triple bonus points for playing it soft and helpless with the carrying thing--that's another trope that I love in romance type stories. Write the female character as strong and clever and full of agency... but don't make her afraid to enjoy being feminine, and letting the love interest do things like open doors, slide in chairs, or, in this case, carry you for no good reason other than it makes the other person feel strong and manly (Dragonly?), protective and in control (ha!), and of course, you also get to squeeze her butt, while she leans her head into your chest.
Well played, goddess, well played.
Oh, and since Tia likes her legs and butt best of all (I'm a chest man myself, but legs and butts definitely have their appeal), remember that the main advantage of heels is that they show those things off very well. A woman's posture in heels shifts just slightly, and presents the legs and backside for maximum effect, and that isn't even including the sexy swaying walk and butt-wiggle that come along with them.
---Woof! Like Tia said, has it always been this warm in here? It feels warm in here :-P
Oh, and since you didn't mention straps, there's always the option to slip out of the shoes if she needs to run--beautiful women running barefoot while wearing fancy dresses--sexy romance trope #27.
(can you tell I think about/write about this stuff way too much?)
Anywaaaaaaaays... thanks for the chapter!
Again, I'm happy to have provided writing fuel, and please remember, nothing I or anyone else write in the comments is intended to pressure you; it's your story and I think we're all very much aware of that. It's just a fun thing to talk about not only what DID happen, but what we think/hope might happen.
I've had writers get very defensive before, following comments like my previous ones, and it's sad when they take such ramblings the wrong way.
Hope to see more soon!
Now, about the ornate tiaras that should be worn by the leaders of the approaching orc hordes....
(^_^)
6299023 Those orkz are no real orkz ya git! Orkz are made of fightn' and winin'! Those gitz are made of humiez and fail!
but orcs are not the strongest, they always lose! has he not seen the hobbit and lord of the ring movies!? stupid orcs!
more please!
Dang it, Evowizard, stop being a cock-tease! First you yank us away from implied sexy times, now you're just dragging out the time we have to wait for Smaug and Celestia to party it up in Laketown!
Curse you and your cliffhangers! Curse you!
6299699 Well, to be perfectly fair, it is more of a discomfort and eyestrain thing in the books so normal orcs and goblins can function during the day if they need to, they just do not like doing it and it reduces their effectiveness while simultaneously making most of their enemies more comfortable.
Also, the orcs under Saruman's command in the main series were specially bred to be effective during the day which is why they had no issue carrying the hobbits around in broad daylight like they did.
Gawd, Celestia and Smaug are like a cute, sexy, bickering couple XD
I do hope when/if Smaug does make Celestia 'his' that they are their original species (with Smaug being much smaller of course). They are cute together in any form but in my opinion, they have a more natural chemistry when they are themselves.
Ah, I also grinned a happy grin at the quick flash from Celestia as she stresses out and longs for her comfort food.
I wonder what the lake folk will make of the magnificent, glittering Lady who is over by the dessert table, singlehandedly destroying cake after cake after cake (it's been a long, stressful span of time with just her and Smaug, after all).
Maybe afterwards, she can have Smaug rub her belly for her, as she recovers.
And hopefully do other things for her/to her too.
(^_^)
6300375 good points. Still, would be nice to see Celestia blind a whole orc army at once.
Give us dem little kirins damit. ALL of them!
6299451 maeby it have somthing to do with mass. They can only tirn to thing that are if the same mass or smaller.
This is prime material for a clop side story between Smaug and Celestia. I think she's in heat...
6299451 Celestia's shapeshifting has limits.
Orcs are gonna get sunburned.
6296883
I was talking about the fact that, that statement was not correct, not what the character opinion was about the subject.
One soldier may say that all of his peloton died in the war, and that they were weak because of that and so he was the only one who survived, the last of his kind (the last of that peloton), but that dosent mean that he is the last soldier in all of the earth. What Smaugh is saying there can be seen as exactly that.
6299066 ya know? even after all this time i still dont get the whole spikexrarity thing. shes a full adult (unless they are all teenagers which is weird) and he is a young kid of a race that takes ages to grow up.
6299253 Pretty much yeah! Comments are my gold.
6299489 Given everything, I would think about the time our fair hobbit and co. were facing off against those cave trolls.
6299829 You don't have to worry about anything really. It's just that the moment I read that, this scene with Smaug carrying Celestia came into my mind and I had to write it. While Celestia would prefer golden slippers, and she's probably going to keep those slippers most of the story, I thought this a good occasion to use the high heels.
6301544 I am half tempted to write a clop scene, but I've never written one all by myself. A couple of collabs, but...not the most comfortable writing it out. If someone wants to take a swing at it, be my guest.
6302100 It's weird, but there are so MANY angles to look at with Spike.
If I recall correctly, because I am lazy and it's late and I don't want to go back a chapter, it will soon be a good many-months in Middle-Earth-Time that Celestia and Smaug have been cohabitating. If/When the dwarves reacquire their mountain will they find a ton of cake ingredients prepped and ready for baking?
I mean, with all the stress that Smaug puts Celestia through... Hmmm, can you bake a cake in a forge?
But ponies are alwaaaaaays prancing about with their heels high! Though, I guess walking on all four helps with that.
Oooh boy. Hey Orcy, I got some bad news for you...
oh my goodness...
Infernal title... Hah!
So, I'm imagining Smaug as a flame-haired Benedict Cumberbatch. I love their flirting.
I'm just waiting for Tia to go back home and have something happen, maybe Tirek. When Tia uses the magic of four alicorns to open a portal just as Tirek drains her magic, quickly pissing off Smaug. And the last words he hears is "She is MY gem!" And reducing him to a charred pulp.
That'd be the best ending.
6308230 OMG This would be the best. XD
...
freeallimages.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/white-horses-running-5.jpg
+
wocstudios.com/images/wyvern.jpg
she wants to fuck that...
6302794 You can cook BAGELS
...
*slow claps*
Good show.
Yes, join me Smaug! We can have lots of... fun.
The last part of this chapter had me thinking this:
"We Orks are the smartiest, the strongiest, and the orkiest! And we aint gonna have some puny dragon stop us! Alright boyz! ITS TIME FOR A WAAAAAGHHHH!"
puny orc's!