• Member Since 4th Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen July 31st

JeNnDyLyOn


T
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Casting magical spells is one thing. Surviving as a normal teenager in a different dimension is another. But for a certain fiery-maned unicorn humbled by defeat, the fragile journey to forgiveness will prove to be her most difficult challenge yet.

From her beginnings as a misguided filly to her final quest towards redemption, take the plunge and dare to trot in the horseshoes of “the pony Equestria forgot”.

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 28 )

So correct me if I understood wrong, but you're trying to flesh out Sunset Shimmer so to speak? I like this idea, since she must have a strong understanding of magic in order to be Celestias student for a while and her downfall could be a good tale. I think it's safe to assume she didn't understand how friendship can lead to magic though. You have my curiosity.

We will be seeing more of this very soon, right? =] I liked it! Very good.

4843204 Hi there, corona! Thank you very much for your interest in my story :) With "The Phases of Sunset", my goal is to definitely shed some light on Sunset's character. Not only will I attempt to do this through recaps of past events (Shimmer Files) but through real-time story arcs that occur post-Equestria Girls in an adventure setting. You're right, btw! Sunset didn't understand that friendship can be so powerful; she even said so in the EGs film ["I don't know the first thing abut friendship."]. One thing that's important to remember as well, is that she was the one who drove the gang apart before Twilight arrived. There's even a comic that foreshadows how she did this; she discovered how they became friends and by means mentioned in the film, found precise ways to turn them against each other. Though she did not quite understand the value of friendship, she knew how to tear it apart for her "goals" :raritywink: I'd go into more detail but then I'd just be giving everything away! More is to come soon though so I look forward to sharing it with you :) Thank you so much again and I'll definitely check out your work as well! :heart:

4844254 Of course! I have two chapters in the works as we speak :) Thank you so much for reading it and I'm stoked you like it!

Always glad to see more stories of best pony. And well written too, a wonderful bonus. I eagerly await to see what you do.

4847092 Your kind words are much appreciated, my friend! Yes, Sunset Shimmer needs a bit more love! Still, I'm not complaining because that just leaves more Sunset for us :moustache: Haha Seriously though, thank you for checking it out and I look forward to sharing more of Sunset's journey with you very soon :twilightsmile:

Really awesome story so far. It does a really great job in showing Sunsets struggle with her inner demons and her willingness to overcome them eventually. I'm already excited about reading more about her journey to becoming a better person and what's going to happen when the portal opens once again :D

I like it! Got a kick out of the snarkiness in the first Shimmer file. You got Sunset's old mean girl personality down pat. I like your approach to Sunset -- you're not trying to lionize or forgive her actions (which I think cheapens things whenever writers do that villains), but at the same time you manage to evoke pity in the reader for her.

About the only criticism I have, and it's not much of a criticism because it's something that comes down to personal tastes -- is the the writing style, while very descriptive and poetic, sometimes verges into flowery. But like I said, that's a difference in style preferences between us.

Sooo, finally had the time to read this and it's just as good as I expected. Again, beautifully written. I can't wait for the next part ;D

OK, what? When it comes to Sunset Shimmer's mother, that could refer to anypony for all we know. I wonder who it will be in the next chapter.

5499710

Hmm, yes, I wonder :raritywink:

Thanks for the interest and support :twilightsmile:

Wow,I only just now has the time to finally read this. This was a very intense chapter. Very interesting. Can't wait for the next one :)

I too, enjoy delving into motives and back stories. I am currently writing something fairly similar to this, except for the fact that I start from her early foalhood. Great job!

5678795 Thank you so much :twilightsmile: I'll be dabbling in that as well. Should be an exciting journey! Best of luck to you with your writing.

So far I'm really enjoying this! Your characterizations are spot on and you have a very unique and engaging writing style. The way you portray Sunset's internal struggles as well as the High Five's dilemma is realistic and even relatable (No one can truly fully relate to turning into a she-demon and destroying part of a high school, but you know what I mean. We've all felt some of the same emotions as Sunset and the High Five that you express so vividly in this story). Looking forward to more!

The punishment that Luna gave sunset, snips, and snails still makes me laugh. There's no way I'd trust three teenagers to put an entire wall back together, I feel like that'd violate so many safety codes, because let's face it they'll never build that wall correctly haha, not to mention all the laws against punishment like that it would violate.

But, gripes against EQG and that major plot hole aside, I really liked this chapter. The writing was really well done, and I think you did a very good job of showing the struggle the high five would most likely go through, deciding whether or not to help Sunset Shimmer. I would have liked to see a little more continuation on Sunset's completely broken form from the last chapter, because it was such a beautiful emotional moment, and you couldn't help but show complete sorrow and pity to Sunset as she crumbled to the ground in a deep pit of sadness, despair and depression, but that's just a very minor critique, and it doesn't take anything away from the amazingness of this story so far,

Honestly, this chapter was amazing. The emotional impact it had on me was very staggering, very few stories made me feel the way I did after reading this chapter. I could feel the insane amounts of pity, empathy, and compassion I had for Sunset watching her crumble to the ground in despair. It was such a beautiful chapter, very well done,

Glad I finally got a chance to read this story, it's really good so far, and I'm excited to continue reading it. The humor at the beginning especially Pinkie pretending to be the crocodile hunter made me laugh. The later part too was very interesting, the reaction with Sunset and the high five, and especially the reaction Sunset had with nurse Redheart and Luna make me really curios and interested to see what happens next. There are so man questions left to be answered in this chapter, and I'm excited to see the answers to them later on.

Also I was really glad Sunset didn't have to build the wall by herself, for reasons stated in the comment last chapter haha.

Edit: oh wow it's already 3:15 am, man I really got caught up in this chapter. Oh well, 6 hours of sleep never hurt me before haha.

As someone who is a big fun of character showcasing/development and world building, I am enjoying this story quite a bit. You are very descriptive, especially about the inner life of Sunset, her struggles, her fears and how she has changed (including ow she needs to learn to accept this change), but the Mane Six Mane High Five get theirs as well. Really curious what the deal is with Sunset and her "mother", even though I am a tad scared of learning what Sunset might have done to the EQG-world Sunset Shimmer.

If you keep this pacing and level of description up, it'll be a pleasure to see how long it takes for Sunset to find redemption, and get to the point where she is in Rainbow Rocks and beyond.

“Such a shame, really,” sighed the demon. “That we won’t get to see the look on her face once she finds out what you did to her precious daughter. Why, I can still hear those screams...”

Welp, this went to a very dark place. So did Sunset murder her alternate (either directly or by inaction)? Or "only" arrange for her to be taken away were there was no likelihood of her ever returning (sent to an insane asylum, maybe)? Nothing else that I can think of relay fits the particular wording that demon-Sunset used.
Here is the Moral Event Horizon, and here we see Sunset Shimmer jumping across it. Its going to be hard to care about what happens to Sunset with this hanging over everything. :fluttershysad:

6203819 Ha, only time will tell of what Eq. Sunset did to her doppelganger (actually, by the end of the month, if I can refocus on completing the next Act) :raritywink:

As for finding it difficult to care about Sunset after what she did, that was the objective. To have the audience torn between caring about her and wanting to see some retribution come out against her as well. It's all based on perspective, really. I'd go into further detail, but I don't want to spoil anything.

Thank you so much for your interest as well as the insightful comment :twilightsmile: Much appreciated!

6300823
So uh...this is still going on, right? It's just...a tiny, little while since the last update. Just a smidge.

"My goal is to finish 1 chapter a week. Hooves crossed that I can make it happen!"

6745096 Hey Artemis ^^" Yess, this is definitely still ongoing :twilightsheepish: Just finished up a side project that took up the majority of my time focusing on, as well as getting back into art since it's been a while I tackled any of that.

I hope I can at least finished the next act by next month, since there's music in the works that coincides with this part of the story.

Thanks for checking up on the status, your continued interest is much appreciated!

6752134
Oh?
Well, not that it's any less but now you've got me hooked on both projects...XD Good luck!

Seriously liked your song "The Siren and the Seamare."

6752134 I just realized that the lyrics of the song are from you :D I am listening to it since days. I love it!

P.s.

"My goal is to finish 1 chapter a week. Hooves crossed that I can make it happen!"

Oh I can so much relate to this^^ I tried the same with my first story and sadly ended up with 4 chaps in 7 weeks :fluttershysad:
I wish you more luck with this than I had ;)

6934046
Thank you so much! Still struggling with the fic thing LoL But I decided to return to art and tell my stories that way :raritywink:

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