• Member Since 20th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen Apr 20th, 2017

Gleaming


The window through which we perceive life is what defines our experience of it. We are only aware of a small fraction of what our senses pick up. We can all choose how we see the world.

T
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Hearth's Warming Eve is a festive holiday for all ponies to bask in the warm comfort of their homes, and spending the day with relatives and friends. Vinyl loves partying on a day like this at a bar - but Octavia just wants some peace and quiet during this holiday. But they start to look back at the spark that triggered their relationship, on that one day back at the academy.

Story request for Spectrum Shine

Editor: CogWing

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 25 )

a bit too short, but still pretty sweet :twilightsmile:

4849314 Thank you! It was shorter than the last romance story I wrote, I should've made it longer. :raritywink:

Even though shipstories aren't quite my cup of tea, this was actually pretty cute. Out of all the ships I've seen, Octavia x Vinyl intrigues me the most, the whole polar-opposite thing, not as a separating point, but as a converging point between the two is a very interesting prompt.

I've really nothing against this one, nor any errors I picked out. But, a fun thing to do with onomatopoeia within dialog, especially with interruptions in it, ("Oct-hiccup-tavia") is to play around with its intensity, namely by either italicizing or CAPS LOCK-ing it (probably even both!), even though in the case shown above, the hiccup doesn't seem to absolutely kill her diaphragm. Italicizing 'hiccup' in the interruption, maybe even with an exclamation point, gives it a little more flavor:

("Oct-hiccup-tavia" vs. "Oct-hiccup-tavia", even "Oct-hiccup!-tavia")

But, that's my opinion there.

But this was a nice, relaxing read, to a person who likes to be pushed to the edge of his seat. You done good! :pinkiehappy:

4849465 Thank you, glad you enjoyed it. I'll be sure to add the exclamation point and italics. :pinkiehappy:

If there is any pony who can find a away to play a cello in a marching band, it's Octavia. That alone is certainly a feat! This is a very dawww-inducing cute story =]

4849519 Thank you, Grey! :twilightsmile: Glad that you enjoyed it!

4849531 You're most welcome :twilightsmile:

4849774 I'm glad that you do! :heart:

Awwwwww... How you can do that with me little sis? That's just so cute. And was inspired by Maps? I really like this music. :rainbowkiss: Thank you so much for this sis! You just put a smile on my face! :heart:

4849826 You just made my heart soar with that compliment, big sis. :heart: I listened to Maps and Misery beforehand for my inspiration to kick in, I'm glad that I made you smile. :twilightsmile:

They don't play cello in the marching band

4873021 Okay, that was my bad. Sorry.

A very enjoyable story x3

4911238 Thank you, glad you enjoyed it! :pinkiehappy:

It's been a while since I read a good Octy/Vi story with The Feels. Great fic!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

4929596 Thank you, glad you enjoyed it! :twilightsheepish:

It's nice to know that racist, drug-dealing coaches can bring two love-birds together. Ah, well, great story regardless.

5042069 I know I'm very late, but thank you! :raritywink:

5465373
That's fine. I've been late to comments myself.

Hope you keep making some more good stories!

5465505 Oh I have, you can check them out if you want or have the time to do so!

5741553 Glad you think so. :pinkiehappy:

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