Omlliw
Joined 29th Jun, 2012 ·
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So reality change huh?
The idea has some merit and the beginning was decent enough, but then you're breaking your own canon within half a chapter. That book seems to be changing things randomly and without input at times instead of just when it has something actually written in it.
This already went in an interesting direction, and I'm looking forward to more.
This would be alot more interesting if the changes stacked, instead of every change seeming to overide the last one. That, and there seems to not be any real threat or stakes as far as I can tell. If Dash doesnt know the changes are happening, and no one else does, then other than a series of random events, whats going to happen in this story?
8116635 "whats going to happen in this story?"
Honestly, I have no idea. I mean I hope to have some Apples in the next chapter and a Twilight to finish us off, but I haven't thought about it too much.
8116242 It's supposed to be magic, like the one Twilight reads in Magical Mystery Cure; if you say something out loud the book will listen out for it.
Thanks for all your critique by the way, gimme some more maybe
I've reread this chapter quite a few times already, and I think it's because of the segment about the saddlebag.
Something about how that part is written makes it the most memorable part so far.
The possibilities are endless, and that's generally a good thing for a kinky story. Love the concept, eagerly awaiting more.
8320545
I hope you're good at patience...it might take a while.
8320634
Heh you still working on this or is this dead
8951517
Quite dead. I don't come here much any more.
8961560
Kinda sad
8962156
Yep, well I wasn't having much fun writing it anyways. Also I've got like 6 other projects on here I haven't even started on yet.
8967149
Huh that's interesting to hear