• Published 15th Apr 2012
  • 1,504 Views, 44 Comments

Rainbow's Adventure on Earth - TheRealShadowFoot

RD finds herself an unfortunate victim of herself and Twilight's willingness to help her.

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Ch. 7 Thieves and Couples

Alex awoke to a frantic knocking on his door followed by hoarse whispers. Grumbling. He got up out of bed and unlocked his door to find a very frightened Rainbow Dash nearly toppling over on top of him.

“Alex, hurry, get up!” Dash whispered to him as she pushed him into his room.

“What, why? What’s going on, Dash?” Alex asked her, a tinge of nervousness in his voice.

“I was watching TV, and there was a scratch at the door, and then a cracking noise. I ran to your room as quietly as I could. I think someone’s breaking in!” She said, starting to shake.

“Are you sure?” He asked her; surprised that someone had that much gall, especially in this neighborhood.

“Well, not exactly, but I know what breaking wood sounds like when I hear it.” She gripped his arm, hiding behind him.

“Ok, stay here, I’ll be right back.” Alex extricated a baseball bat from between his dresser and the wall. It was short and light, perfect for defense, and painted matte black.

“What’s that? A club? Please tell me you’re not going to hurt somepony, Alex.”

“No, I would never dream of it. I’m gonna take a walk around the house and make sure everything’s locked tight, and I’m going to check the front door. You stay in here. I’ll be back shortly.” He nudged her away from him and into the bedroom, closing the door with a barely audible click.

Alex pulled a short, black UV flashlight from the chest beside his room, holding it in one hand, and hefting the bat in the other. On the opposite side of the door, Dash heard a drawer open, and close, followed by slow, light footsteps, receding into the front hall. Once she could hear footsteps no more, she clicked the door’s lock so it was sealed, then she sat on Alex’s bed, waiting for the familiar voice of her roommate.


Alex crept along the front hall, all his senses on high alert. His house was dead silent except for the barely audible TV from the living room. Hugging the shadows on the floor, He went, silently, his footsteps light and easy. Playing paintball for so many years made him pretty silent on his feet.

He peeked into the living room, and saw nothing out of the ordinary, except the TV still on. He decided to turn it off later to not alert anyone that may have gotten inside. Moving towards the front door, he noticed it was slightly ajar, the door frame cracked and splintered at about the same spot the knob lock was. Now he knew someone was definitely inside.

Hefting his baseball bat once more, he moved onwards to Dash’s room, where the door was also open. He listened for movement or shuffling inside, and heard nothing. Taking a look inside, he saw nothing. Satisfied that the room was devoid of life, he moved onward to the kitchen, where he kept a valuable collection of silver flatware that was given to him as a gift from one of his exes. They were looking to get engaged at one point, then she skipped town, never to be heard from again.

When he saw nothing in the kitchen, he made sure his silver was still intact, and sure enough it was. Now there were only two places left to check. The bathroom and storage rooms were upstairs. Making his way to his modestly designed staircase, he hopped lightly over the noisy step, and upwards into the upstairs hallway. Immediately, he noticed the bathroom light was on.

The bathroom lights were sensor activated, and only turned on if something moved inside or made noise. This immediately told Alex his prey was in there. Creeping slowly along the hallway, he readied his bat for the best chance at an opportunistic hit. Just between his bellybutton and chest it rested, in his hand. This would allow him to put his target in a painful sleeper hold or take a shot straight to the kidneys. The bathroom door was wide open. Breathing deep and slow, he ducked below the view of the mirror that rested on the wall opposite of the door.

Being as superstitious as he was, he didn’t like not seeing behind him, which was why the mirror was placed somewhat inconveniently. He poked one eye past the doorjamb, and saw his medicine cabinet wide open and being rifled through by some skinny punk, who had so conveniently placed the mirrored door away from the bathroom door. A malicious grin planted itself upon Alex’s face.

“Got you now, homie.” He said to himself as he crept up behind said punk, placing the baseball bat under one arm and across his chest. Forcing all of his strength into a pull, he yoked up the little parasite.

The kid jumped as he felt a tightening upon his chest and below his armpit. A demonic voice growled into his ear.

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you a thief never wins, punk?” Alex growled into the kid’s ear.

The kid panicked and struggled against a wall of a man. “Whoa man, I swear I wasn’t gonna hurt nobody. I just wanted some vic’s, percoset’s something! I wasn’t gonna kill nobody! Please don’t kill me! I’m sorry! Let me go and I’ll never come back and never tell anybody! I swear on my mom’s grave! Just let me go!” The kid started tearing up, nearly bawling.

Alex chuckled deep in his throat, resembling a wolf’s growl. “Now, I can’t very well take a thief’s words to heart. And I’m not gonna let you go. First of all, you broke my very expensive redwood door. You know how hard that stuff is to come by? Especially on the east coast?”

“I swear, I’ll pay for it, I promise, just don’t hurt me man! Please! Here, in my pocket, there’s a couple grand. That’ll cover your door right? Don’t hurt me, please!” The kid was struggling against Alex’s bear-like strength.

“A couple grand, huh? How tempting. But I’m a good Christian man and can’t accept a bribe from a criminal.” Alex tightened his grip somewhat. “Second of all, you scare my roommate to tears, and make her wake me up at….4am, just because of your stupid ass? When I just went to bed at midnight? They always say you should never wake a sleeping bear. Guess what you just did, shithead?” Alex started dragging the kid backwards towards the bathroom door.

“What I am going to do, however, is drag you downstairs into my living room, tie your hands up with zip ties, and make you apologize to my roommate. Meanwhile, me and Mr. Slugger, here, will call the police, all the while watching you. I can claim self defense, and you were ‘endangering the welfare of my underage daughter.’ You get locked up, I file a report, Sarah gets an apology. Everybody wins!” Alex cackled maniacally.

“Oh! Also, I’m good friends with the sheriff, so anything I say is gospel, homie.” Alex grinned wolfishly.


True to his word, Alex nearly dragged the perp into his living room, unceremoniously dropping him on the couch. After his hands were snugly bound, tight enough to hold but to not leave marks, Alex fetched the house phone, popped in a few digits, and in a moment or two, Sheriff Jeff Riley was on the other end.

“Alex, why’re you calling the department this late at night?” a frazzled-sounding Sheriff asked him.

“Hey, Jeff. How’re the wife and kids?” Alex asked him in return.
“Cut the bullshit. I know you didn’t call me to check in. I haven’t gotten enough coffee in me to deal with you.”

“Ok, ok, relax. Sorry. At any rate, I’ve got a wannabe drug dealer here in my house, who happened to break into my home, damage my redwood door, and scare my daughter to pieces. Not to mention he’s carrying a couple grand on him and maybe other stuff he might intend to sell. Got time to retrieve him?”

“Yeah, yeah. Hold on. I’ll send a newbie to come get him. That fine with you?”

“I’d actually prefer you to come get him. He’s got a wild look in his eyes that I don’t like.”

“You’re so very lucky we go way back. I’ll be there in 20. Description?”

Alex looked the punk dead in the face. “Young, possibly late teens or early twenties. Tall, Skinny, dirty blonde hair. Gauges in his ears, pierced lip, all black clothing. Good enough?”

“Yup. See you in 20. You restrain him like you’re supposed to?”

“Course. Last thing I wanna do is damage my standings with you, Jeff.”

A click sounded on the other end, followed by a dial tone.

“Now that that’s taken care of, I believe you owe someone an apology, pube juice.” Alex told the punk, as he left the room. He blocked off the broken front door to prevent a hasty escape.


Three knocks sounded on Alex’s bedroom door. Dash recognized the hasty knocks as Alex’s trademark. She got up and unlocked the door, opening it slowly.

Alex’s smiling visage greeted her. Except he now looked remarkably older and more tired in the dim light emanating from the moonlit windows behind her.

“Hey, it’s safe now. I found him. Come with me.” He proffered his hand to her and she took it gently, cautiously, a stranger to this new embrace. “I told him he’s gonna apologize to you, while we’re waiting for my Sheriff friend to come get him.”

“Oh…ok.” Dash muttered, somewhat bewildered at Alex’s seemingly short aging process. They entered the living room, hand in hand. Dash sat as far away from the stranger as she could. The look in his eyes was part fear, part trapped animal. Dash didn’t like it.

“Well, go ahead. You know how to talk right? I couldn’t get you to shut up in the bathroom.” Alex growled at him, startling Dash and the would-be thief.

“Uh, um, uh…” The kid stuttered, unable to make his mouth work.

“Not quite. Try it again.” Alex sneered at him.

The thief took a deep breath, trying very hard to steady himself. He would have to try and stay calm if he expected to get away.

“I’m sorry, miss. I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just looking for a quick buck. Please don’t hate me.” The kid pleaded.

“Uhm…thank you?” Dash asked quizzically. “Why did you try breaking into Alex’s house? I’m sure there’s a place you could go to make some money. Why be a common thief?”

“I don’t know. It was a stupid idea. I realize this now. And thank you, Alex, for taking pity on a stupid kid like me. I know other people that would have shot me or beat me. Why not you?”

“I promised Sarah I wouldn’t. If she wasn’t here, I would have dealt with you myself.” Alex stated flatly.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Standing in the broken doorframe, was the Sheriff.


“This the kid I guess?” Sheriff Riley pointed at the restrained punk.

“Yeah, that’s him. Broke in here looking for some painkillers, probably to sell. My daughter notified me of him right before he made it into the house. I stuck her in my room, found him, restrained him, and here we are.” Alex smiled tiredly.

“What’s your name, kid?” The Sheriff asked him.

“Josh. Josh Thomas, Sheriff.” The kid told him, staring at the floor.

“You’re in deep, kid. You’re probably looking at 10 years or better. Not only do I have you on breaking and entering, but that girl is possibly a minor, landing you an ‘endangering’ charge. Add that to attempted burglary, and possibly intent to sell if I find anything on you. You carrying?

“No, sir. That’s why I broke in to start with. I was looking for some Vicodin or percosets, something.” Josh finished flatly.
“We’ll take care of the paperwork back at the precinct. Cut him loose, Alex.”

“Stay still. I promise I’m not gonna hurt you.” Alex severed the plastic bindings with a deft knife stroke, and helped the kid off the couch.

“All yours.” Alex gently nudged Josh towards towards the Sheriff. Riley took the kid by the wrists, and chained them together with handcuffs.

“You really screwed up tonight, Josh. I’ll be up all night filing this paperwork.” The Sheriff grumbled.

“Go on to bed, Dash. I gotta fix this door before I go to bed.” Dash made her way towards her room, shutting the door with a light click. But she couldn’t sleep. She was a sea of nerves and shakes, and could barely sit or lay down for long. She listened to Alex working in the living room, but decided she shouldn’t bother him.


As Alex labored in the living room, he felt his head getting heavier by the minute. After a little while, Alex had a rough, but workable door. After transferring the deadbolts and knob locks to the new door, he closed and locked it with a satisfied, tired sigh. By now, it was already time for him to go to work, and he didn’t bother to show up. He’d explain later.
Lumbering his way into his bedroom, he promptly laid down and fell asleep, and didn’t bother to check if his door was locked. Shortly, he was snoring the morning away, oblivious to the world around him.

Dash listened closely at Alex’s bedroom door, and found him snoring loudly. Quietly, she inched her small frame into the dimly lit bedroom, and saw him passed out straight on the middle of the bed. At this point in time, she just didn’t care anymore, and only felt safe when she was right next to him. She eased herself slowly into his bed, laying across his chest. She fell asleep shortly, and the pair were on the last train to dreamland, nonstop.


Alex awoke with an unfamiliar weight across his chest and bed. Waking up slowly, and looking through blurry eyes, he saw a familiar prismatic head of hair on his torso. He noticed that his arm had also curled itself onto her back, holding her. He had no recollection of hearing her come in his room, or even feeling her weight. She was so light, she barely made any noise. He smiled to himself, and suddenly all felt right.

He fell back asleep shortly, and the couple slept most of the morning away. After they had rested up, they showered and dressed separately, and took off to the lumberyard to find a better replacement for a door. After Alex had selected and paid for a heavier, stronger door, they went back to the house where Dash watched Alex install it. By then, it was lunchtime, and they shared a peaceful lunch in the park, taking their minds off of the night’s events.

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