The Wedding
“Love and friendship are the only things that allow people to care about others and not just about themselves, making it a truly magical and wonderful thing."
~flutterwalk
Spike’s heart nearly exploded as he felt her lips slowly caress his own. He immediately jumped back. Could it be real, or did his mind just play a cruel joke on him?
Rarity’s eyes slowly opened up, her glimmering blue eyes barely visible behind her long black eyelashes. “Spikey…”
This was no joke, this was real. Rarity was alive!
“Oh my god!” the dragon’s jaw dropped from pure happiness as he gazed his awakening beauty. “R-Rarity, you’re alive!”
“Of course dear…” said the white mare, smiling weakly, “I knew you would save me…” Her eyes started to get watery, and she groaned, squirming as if her stomach was in pain. “Do…you think I could trouble you for a glass of water, dear? I feel dreadfully warm inside…” She started to cough. “And my throat is dry…” She started hacking harder, “I don’t *cough* feel so well *cough* darling.”
“Oh crap!” gulped Spike, turning around to Forge. “What’s happening to her?!”
“How the hell should I know?!” exclaimed the red dragon. “I’m still shocked that that actually worked!”
“What *cough* what are you *cough* are you talking about, dear?”
“Nothing, dear!” said Spike quickly, carefully stroking her mane. “Everything is going to be fine!” He started to head towards the door leading off the roof and back into the castle. “We just had an…an accident.”
“Oh dear, did *cough* did our friends get hurt?”
“Yes but they’re fine now…”
“Then what is the problem *cough, cough*?” asked Rarity, still hacking up a storm.
“Well…” strained the dragon as he pushed the door open with his back, he could see their friends following close behind “Ah...please don’t freak out when I tell you…but you sort of…kind of…”
“Spike, a lady can compose herself *cough* at all times,” Rarity said. “I promise.”
“Well… You were sort of…dead for, like about an hour.”
The mare just stared blankly at her dragon, trying to figure out if he was joking or not. When she realized that he was being serious, she screamed.
“WHAT!?!?!”
“It’s okay! You’re better now!” said the drake trying to calm the hysterical mare down.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN I WAS DEAD??!?!”
“You kind of died…”
“Oh, how dreadful!” gasped the unicorn, falling faint in Spike’s arms. “Oh, of all the worst possible things, this is the *cough* worst *cough* possible *cough* THING!! And I mean *cough* it this time!”
“Please calm down!” begged Spike, still carrying the white pony through the castle. “We’re going to get you to the infirmary, and everything is going to be fine!”
“How am I *cough* how am I even alive right now?”
“Well, we gave you a new heart from a dra—“
“What happened to my own heart?”
“It sort of broke!” muttered Spike. “Look, I will explain everything to you once we get you to a doctor, I promise.”
“Who’s heart do I *cough, cough* who’s *cough* who’s *cough, cough, cough*”
She kept coughing and coughing, Spike was getting worried. Soon, she was spitting up small sprays of blood, as her terrible cough grew worse. Rarity’s eyes started to roll to the back of her head as her whole body went limb.
“Rarity? Rarity!” panicked the dragon, placing the mare on the stone floor. He placed two fingers against the pony’s new heart. It was still beating, so what was the problem?
BLLAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!
Rarity’s suddenly shot up into a sitting position, blue azure coloured flames came spewing out of her mouth. The fire grew in intensity, spreading around and latching onto anything that would burn. The walls were scorched, curtains were singed as the flames finally died out, leaving Rarity sitting there, every other pony and dragon just staring at her.
“I…” she started to say, before coughing up a puff of blue smoke. “I feel a lot better actually.”
“Whoa…” exhaled the purple drake. “That was…interesting.”
Rarity looked baffled at the scorched marks in front of her. “Did I, did I just do that?”
“How is that even possible?” wondered Twilight, looking to Forge. “Do you think that it has something to do with the dragon heart?”
“Okay, will somepony please tell me what’s going on?” asked Rarity, crossing her hooves. “I’m getting rather irritated not being in the loop of things.”
“Sorry, it’s just that...” Spike started to say.
“WHOA!!” gasped Pinkie, pointing at the white mare. “Look at that!”
All heads focused upon what the pink party pony was pointing at, and each pony and dragon gasped at what they saw.
Rarity looked worried. “What? Is there something on my face?” Her hooves padded her face down, not feeling anything out of the ordinary. “What is it? Would somepony please tell me what’s wrong?!”
“Rarity it’s…it’s your eyes,” said Spike.
“What about my eyes?” she asked, quickly dashing to one of the windows in the hall. She almost fainted when she saw her faint reflection in the glass. Her eyes were no longer the ones she was born with, but had become snake like, a slit instead of a dot for her pupil. “My—my…”
“Her eyes, they’re like a dragon’s,” said Glimmer.
“Okay, what the hell is going on?” asked Dust Devil. “She’s not going to turn into a dragon, is she?”
“What part of ‘I don’t know’ do you all find so hard to grasp?” muttered Forge.
“What… a DRAGON?” mumbled Rarity, as she started to feel light headed, it had been a lot to take in in such a short amount of time and her body seemed to be on fire again and she eventually passed out.
“Rarity!........ Rarity!!!”
*****
Beep………… beep………… beep………… beep…………
Rarity’s eyes were greeted by a bright light as they slowly started to open. The steady pace of beeping was ringing next to her ear. As her senses came back to her, she was able to see where she was. It looked like a hospital room, with lots of strange medical machines stationed next to her small metal bed. Turning to her side, she saw large bushels of flowers and ‘Get Well Soon’ cards. There were also a lot of discarded hospital food in the nearby trash can; it seemed that the culprit only ate the lime Jell-O and threw away the daisy sandwiches and milk.
She giggled a little at the sight, knowing perfectly well who would only eat the dessert, and as she rolled over to her other side, she saw a very sleepy looking purple dragon sitting in the visitor’s chair.
“You know that you can’t just eat the Jell-O. It’ll go straight to your thighs.”
Spike’s head slowly raised up, a big sleepy smile stretched across his face. “Hey…you’re awake…”
“I am,” she said, looking around the room again. “Where am I, and how long was I out?”
“You’re in the medical ward of Canterlot Castle, and you’ve been out for over three weeks,” answered the dragon.
“Oh my, that long?” said the confused mare. “What about everyone else? Are they all right?”
“Yeah, they are, for the most part that is,” said Spike. “Luna’s taking Curator’s death pretty hard. Celestia had to raise the sun and the moon for a bit there, but she’s getting passed it.”
“That’s good to hear, I can only imagine what it would be like to lose the love of your life,” sighed the unicorn. “She must be devastated.”
“Like I said, Luna’s slowly getting passed it with her sister. Speaking of which, as you were asleep, Celestia has been having a lot of conversations with Rockjaw, the new leader of Volcanna. I don’t want to speak too soon, but Rockjaw wants to work on the pony/dragon treaty from after the Dragon Wars. The dragons have learned to control ‘The Greed’ better, and we are thinking of integrating them into Equestria.”
“Spike, that’s wonderful!” smiled Rarity. “But what about their homelands and the more nasty dragons?”
“They can stay in the Badlands if they want, no one is forcing them to leave. But I heard that Bitterbite and the others are planning on staying.”
“How are they doing?”
“Pretty much the same. Lurch accidentally ate a pony he thought was a sofa, but he spat him out. Bitterbite and Glimmer still have the strangest love relationship I have ever seen, and Dust Devil is still desperately trying to deny his feelings for Rainbow.”
Rarity giggled at that last one. “They really would make a cute couple, if you ask me,” she leaned in closer to Spike, who had gotten up from the chair to talk. “You were unconscious at the time, but I think that Rainbow likes Dust Devil.”
“Now I know you’re better, you little gossip!” grinned Spike.
“How is Rainbow, and all the others?”
“Physically, they’re going to be okay. Rainbow’s wings healed up nicely, same with Twilight’s horn. Applejack, Pinkie and Fluttershy’s cuts and bruises all healed up too.”
“You said they were okay physically… Why?”
“Because they’re okay physically. Mentally…there has been some scarring.”
“Oh dear…”
“We’ve all been through psychotherapy, some more than others. We’ve all been having recurring nightmares about him and what he has done… I can hardly close my eyes without seeing his face in my head,” the dragon sighed. “And I keep having this one dream…where you didn’t survive… And I’d lost you…”
“Oh Spike…” sniffed, Rarity, pulling the drake closer. “You don’t have to worry, I’m fine. I feel fine, I feel better than fine. In fact, I feel absolutely perfect!”
“Well at least one of us is feeling like that,” smirked the dragon.
“What about Forge?” asked the mare. “How is he?”
“I’m doing quite well.”
Forge had managed to slip by the door without either Spike or Rarity noticing.
“Forge!” smiled Rarity.
“Nice to see you’re finally awake, Miss—I mean Mrs. Rarity,” the red dragon laughed. “Spike filled me in on everything, and I have to say that I couldn’t be happier for the two of you.”
“Thank you,” said Rarity as she snuggled up to Spike’s arm.“We couldn’t be happier!”
“I’m glad,” said the forging dragon. “I’m also glad that you’re awake, so I can tell you this now and not in a report.”
“Tell me what?”
“Well, after you passed out three weeks ago, we rushed you and whatever medical staff we had left to the infirmary. After I got a more permanent leg situation,” he gestured to his new prosthetic leg. “Made out of what was left of Spike’s armour, by the way. Anyways after we got you stabilized, me and a few of the medical staff started to run a few tests. It seems that the dragon heart had a few side effects that we didn’t expect.”
“Like what?”
“Well externally, the only real notably change is your eyes, and I want to run some vision tests later. Now internally, you have under gone massive amount of changes. We tested your blood and have discovered it fighting off and eating away at any sort of clots and build ups that were in your veins, cleaning them similar to what dragon’s blood does. Your body also naturally healing at twice the normal rate of a pony, and your immune system bolstered tremendously.”
“All that from a dragon’s heart?”
“There’s more,” said Forge as he continued. “You also developed a flame sack, which is where Fire dragon’s like me and Spike store fire. Now we can remove this if you want, as there are a lot of dangers to having a fire sack.”
“Like what?”
“It can swell up and lead to violent outbursts of fire, and worse case is that it bursts and disintegrates all of your internal organs.”
“Oh dear…”
“But,” said the red dragon, “if you take the time to learn how to control it, and remember to release fire on a semi regular basis, the benefits are numerous.”
“I’ll guess I will think about that…” hummed the unicorn. “Anything else Forge?”
“Not at the moment,” he said, as he turned to head out the door. “I’ll come back in a couple of hours to do some tests. I need to see if the heart affected your unicorn powers, as well as come to a decision about keeping your fire sack or not. Until then, you two relax, you of all of us deserve it.”
“Thank you Forge,” said Rarity as the red drake closed the door. She looked back to her dragon, scooting over on her bed. “It’s awfully cold…” she grinned.
Spike took the hint as he slowly slipped into the bed, snuggling up next to his white unicorn. It had been too long since they were together like this, lying peacefully in a warm and safe bed, no worries of wars or psychopaths or omens, just a mare and her dragon, and all the love in the world.
“So…” hummed Rarity, nuzzling the dragons neck with her head. “When should start planning the wedding?”
Zzzzzzzzzz…
“Spike?” wondered the mare, looking up to see that Spike had fallen fast asleep. She rolled her eyes as she tucked him and herself in. “Get some sleep love,” she smiled, giving a small yawn. “We’ll talk about it later…”
*****
Pain, an insufferable stinging sensation in his mind. Spike couldn’t think, it hurt too much to think. What had happened to him? He tried to open his heavy eyes, only to be greeted by the powerful light of the sun through the window. Light was not his friend, so he kept his eyes shut.
“Rarity…” he wallowed, feeling around blindly for some indication of the mare he loved. “Rarity…” he finally found what he was looking for, soft fur. He wrapped his claws around the warm body, pressing it close against his. She was so warm, so soft, and so…scaly?
“Spike…”
That wasn’t Rarity’s voice, hers was soft and angelic, like a song sung by angels. This voice was not soft and angelic, like a song sung by a dragon.
“Spike…”
His eyes shot opened, staring back at him were a pair of brown eyes. Bitterbite was staring right back at him. He had a fuzzy pink blanket covering more of his body.
“Spike…” Bitterbite said again. “Why are you holding me?”
“I…” Spike was at a loss of words.
“Spike, please tell me that there is a beer bottle or something poking me in the leg…”
There was a pause as both dragons looked down, realizing that there was no beer bottle down there. They both screamed at the top of their lungs. The earth dragon freaked out and accidentally rolled off the bed, landing face first on the floor. Spike clutched his ears, the sounds of their screaming was like jabbing a spear through his skull.
“What the hell Spike?!” yelled Bitterbite. “What. The. HELL!?”
“I thought you were Rarity!” Spike yelled back, still clamping his ears shut. “And don’t talk so loud, my head is killing me!”
“Do I look like Rarity?!” demanded the dirty drake, slowly climbing off the floor.
“It was that soft blanket. And I said stop yelling!” the purple drake moaned, rolling around on the bed in his own misery.
“Ugh, whatever…” groaned Bitterbite as he stretched his arms out, smiling. “That was a fun ass party though!”
“Oh, right…” chuckled Spike, as he slowly snoozed his hangover away. “Best party ever… Pinkie Pie can eat her heart out…”
“Yeah,” laughed Bitterbite as he leaned against the wall, still having the fuzzy pink blanket around his body. “Umm…why were we partying again?”
“Because…” Spike started to say, but his mind drew a blank. “There was something important… I think.”
“Yeah, yeah!” mumbled Bitterbite. “Was it the new treaty signing?”
“I think they did that like a month ago dude…”
“Was it for the memorial services for the Battle of Canterlot?”
“Three months ago. You’re really freaking bad at this, Bitterbite.”
“I don’t see you coming with anything Spike!”
“Screw you…” muttered the purple drake. “Something important…something that was going to happen today…”
The two dragons eyes widened at the sudden realization of what was happening today.
“THE WEDDING!!” they both screamed, Spike immediately falling back onto the bed.
“Goddess, the noise hurts!” he winced.
“Quit your bitching Spike!” said the brown dragon, picking up the clock that had fallen to the floor. “OH CRAP!!”
“What?”
“We have less than an hour before it starts!”
Spike shot off the bed, his hangover being overthrown by the new crisis at hand. “You get the suits; I’ll try and find everyone else!”
They nodded as Bitterbite bolted to the closet, try to find all of their formal attire. Spike kicked past the door of the small room and into the wreck that was what looked like the living room.
There was definitely a party here last night, and you could tell dragons were involved. There was a large gaping hole in the north wall, leading outside to the balcony. Furniture was destroyed and tossed around the carpet, which was covered in discarded liquor bottles and scorch marks. There were very few signs of life. If there were other guests, they must have gone home already. However, there was what looked like a pair of white hooves under a discarded mattress lying out of place among the other carnage.
The dragon carefully lifted the mattress up, for some reason it smelt like cheese, cheese and shame, and under the mattress that smelt of cheese and shame was none other than--
“Shining Armour?”
“Hey…” the stallion grumbled, hugging onto a half full beer bottle. Shining was wearing his red uniform, but it had been terribly stained and torn by something that smelt of…cheese and shame. “Spike, my buddy… My pal, whassssssup?”
“Are…are you still drunk?”
“Damn straight I am!” he cackled to himself as he took a drink of the beer. “The best way to avoid a hangover is to………” His eyes stared lazily at the wall.
“Are you okay?” asked Spike.
“Hey, what smells like cheese and shame?” asked Armour.
“I don’t know. You, I think,” grumbled the drake. “Try and sober up, we need to be at the wedding in less than an hour.”
“Oh…” said Armour innocently, struggling to get up. “Hey, remember my bachelor party?”
“No…”
“EXACTLY!” the pony grumbled as he staggered through the mess of the living room. “You were supposed to throw me a badass party…and all I got was a no badass party.” He started to cry. “Why Spike… Why no badass party?”
“I was eight!” said Spike, looking under a flipped couch for more sleeping guests, finding none. “I didn’t even know what a bachelor party was until I was a teenager.”
“Oh…” gloomed Shining. “Well…how come you didn’t throw me a badass bachelor party?”
Spike sighed, “I did, but you don’t remember it,” he lied.
“Niiiiiiice,” grinned Shining, before collapsing on the ground.
“Great, now where the hell is—“
“Spike!” the door to the room opposite of Spike was kicked open, a panicked Dust Devil was shaking, his claws all jittery.
“Dust, there you are, look we need to—“
“Yes, the wedding I know!” interrupted the black sky drake. “But we have a more pressing matters to attend to!”
“Like what?”
“I think I killed a hooker.”
“WHAT?!?!!”
“Well we were having a party in my room and I sort of accidentally…killed her, I think.”
“HOW THE FRAK DO YOU DO ACCIDENTALLY KILL A HOOKER?!?!?!”
“With a frying pan.”
“WHAT THE FU—“
“Dude just see for yourself!” said Dust Devil, rushing back to the room, dragging Spike with him. The black and pink drake pushed Spike into the dark room.
“Where the heck is the light?” asked Spike, “I swear, I have no idea—“
“BOO!!”
The purple drake jumped back in fright as a two headed bed sheet jumped out from within the shadows. Spike fell to the ground, scurrying away from the bed ghost monster of the dead hooker, who was laughing their twin heads off.
“We got you good Spike!” the one head said.
“He makes it too easy, don’t you agree?” said the other.
“Wha…”
The bed sheet was removed from the bodies of the two hysterical ponies, one a cream coloured earth pony, and her marefriend the light green unicorn.
“Lyra, Bon-Bon, you two were fantastic!” laughed Dust Devil, who was on the floor with in fits.
“We can’t take all the credit!” grinned Lyra,
“You did the perfect setup, Dusty,” smiled Bon-Bon.
“I should have known…” grumbled the dragon.
“Coulda, woulda, shoulda!” teased Lyra, sticking out her tongue.
“Is anyone else in there?” Spike asked in a deadpanned.
“No,” said Bon-Bon, shaking her head. “I think Lurch was in the master bedroom, you know, because he needed the biggest bed to sleep in.”
“Because he’s so fat!” laughed the green unicorn.
“Lyra, he’s not fat…” said the candy mare. “He’s just bigger.”
“Yeah, bigger and fatter!”
“Both of you, shut up!” growled Spike, immediately silencing the mares. “Get ready to go, we need to be at the wedding in less than an hour.”
“Okay…” both the mares and Dust Devil sighed, as they walked into the other room were Bitterbite was looking for the suits.
Spike walked out of that room and to the master bedroom, knocking on the door before entering. “Lurch, please tell me you’re alive in there!”
“Yeah…” called Lurch from the other side. “Just give me like ten minutes and I’ll be out!”
“We don’t have ten minutes!” shouted Spike, knocking on the door again. “We need to get going NOW.”
There was the sound of mass groaning as the large footsteps of the boulder dragon boomed towards the door. Slowly the door cracked open, revealing the large pale blue drake. “Okay…” he yawned turning his head to the room. “Party’s over.”
There was a wave of female ‘awww’s’ as five mares quickly trotted around the bulda dragon, each with bedroom eyes and messy manes, and they were all trying to coddle a different part of the drake.
“But we were just starting to have fun…” cooed one of the mares.
“Do you have to go?” another one pouted.
“Sorry ladies,” said Lurch, “but I need to head to my friend’s wedding.”
“Do you need a date?” one asked. “I could be your date if you need one!”
“If anyone’s going to be his date it’s going to be me!” barked another.
“He likes me the best. I’m going with him!”
The five mares continued to argue about who would accompany Lurch to the wedding. Spike stared with amazement at the arguing mares, looking at the round boulder dragon with an arched eyebrow.
“What?” shrugged the large blue drake. “I’m big, strong, soft and have three tongues, what did you expect? Now let’s go to that wedding!”
*****
“Mare’s and Gentlecolts, dragons and dragonesses of all shapes and sizes, we are gathered here today…” Celestia was standing under a white archway decorated in an assortment of jewels and flowers. They were standing outside in the Canterlot Gardens. Several plants and trees had been carefully moved to make room for all of the guest. Not all of them ponies. There were a decent amount of dragons attending the wedding, including Rockjaw, the other surviving Elder dragons from Volcanna, Baba D; the kind old dragon that ran The Hatchery, among other dragons that came to see this special day commence. “To join this dragon and this mare in celestial matrimony.”
Spike blushed a little at Princess Celestia’s words. There he was, standing in from of hundreds, maybe thousands of ponies and dragons, about to get married to the one he loved. He was able to find his suit: an onyx black tuxedo, equipped with his favorite jewel encrusted bowtie, and a tri-set of three blue diamonds over his heart, the same shape and colour of Rarity’s cutie mark.
Rarity looked stunning in her wedding dress, no expenses were wasted. It was a beautiful white, almost blending in with her white coat. There were brilliant white diamonds around the rim of the skirt leading up to the part in the dress, where the two trails of gems formed into one, trailing up the blouse of the dress, and separating again around her collar. Her dress sparkled in the afternoon sun, but no jewel shined brighter than her fire ruby necklace, wish she wore proudly around her neck.
“The bride and groom have written each other vows, which they will new recite to each other,” Celestia said, turning to Spike. “You may begin, dragon.”
Spike nodded as he carefully unfolded the paper he had kept in his pocket, his fingers trembling with a mix of stress, excitement and nerves. He cleared his throat as he finally managed to un-crumble the vows.
“Rarity,” he started to say, his voice was shaky, it was really happening. “From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew I would never love another. You were the only mare that I would ever love, I could ever love. I was just a kid then, barely a whelp by my kind’s standards, but I knew you were the one. You steal my breath away, you make my heart race, and consume my every thought and every second away from you is a second in hell.” He took a deep breath, trying to keep his thoughts straight and organized. “I would live for you, die for you, and everything in between. Rarity… I love you with all my heart; and I will always be there for you.”
There was a low hum of sighs and aww’s coming from the guests in the gardens. “And now for the bride. Rarity, if you would?” smiled the celestial princess, wiping a happy tear from her face.
“Spike…” she started to say; she had memorized her vows. “I must confess that my feelings for you were like a flower. The more you cared for me, the more my love grew, until it finally blossomed into true and undying love. I admit I was scared of what others would have thought of us if we were together, but those thoughts quickly disappeared the day you saved my life, and it wouldn’t be the last time…” She sniffed as she placed a hoof over her chest. The heart shaped scar was still burned into her skin, but had healed well into a clean shade of dark purple. “You would have given me your heart, done anything to save me. I can’t stand to think of life without you in it. I love you, my little Spikey-wikey.”
Soft cries could be heard as mares and even a few stallions and the odd dragon shed a tear to the tenderness of the speech.
“Spike…” began Celestia after everypony had started to settle down. “Do you take this mare, to be your celestially wedded wife, to love and cherish, through good times and bad, through sickness and in health, till death do you part?”
“I do.”
“And do you Rarity, take this dragon, to be your celestially wedded husband, to love and cherish, through good times and bad, though sickness and in health, till death do you part?”
Rarity looked into Spike’s reptilian eyes. They were so much like hers now, but she knew that he would never stop loving her, no matter what she looked like.
“I do.”
“Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you, mare and dragon! You may—“
Spike and Rarity lunged at each other’s mouths; they couldn’t wait a second longer. They were a married couple now, and the tension between them was getting far too unbearable.”
“You…may kiss the bride,” sighed Celestia.
*****
“WHOO HOO! Time to get our groove on!” screamed Pinkie from the DJ booth. She and Vinyl her rocking a new track as most of everyone else was dancing on the dance floor. There was however, plenty of dragons and ponies laughing and mingling off the dance floor. One particular pony, a light blue unicorn, was downing his third beer when his friend took a seat next to him.
“Dragoon, are you all right?” asked Heart Shield, waving the barkeep to get him a beer.
“Never better!” pepped the blue stallion as he emptied his drink. “Barkeep, another one!”
“Well, it’s just that you don’t usually drink… Like, ever.”
“Yeah, but I need to work up some liquid confidence!” Dragoon said, the bartender handing him another beer. “Thank you.”
“Why?”
“I’m going to do it!” smiled the light blue unicorn. “Bunsen’s here at the reception and I’m finally going to ask her out!”
Heart Shield face hoofed himself. “Oh goddess, not this again…”
“I’m serious!” grumbled Dragoon, taking a big swig from his cup before slamming it down on bar. “I’m going to ask her out…”
“Look I told you—“
“You know what!” growled, “I think that you asked her out and she said no! And now you can’t stand having any other stallion with her… Well, screw you! I thought you were my friend…” He got up from the bar, and started to stagger around the gardens, looking for the purple pegasus that he desired.
“You don’t want to do that…” muttered the red unicorn, taking a sip of his newly received beverage.
“Watch me!” grinned Dragoon as he spotted Bunsen by the buffet, serving herself up some salad. “I’ll show him… Jerk.” The blue unicorn made it to the spread with relative ease, he wasn’t that drunk. “Hey Bunsen.”
“Oh, hey there!” replied the purple mare, serving up some sliced turnips on top of her green salad.
“Hey Bunsen… Listen…” Dragoon started to say, “I’ve was wondering… Would you… I don’t know... Maybe want to go out sometime? Like for dinner or a show?”
“Oh…” gasped Bunsen, her dark purple face slowly turning crimson with blush. “That’s very sweet of you… But umm… I can’t…” She bit the bottom of her lip. “Sorry…”
“What? Why?!”
“It’s…” the she started to say. “It’s…it’s just really complicated to explain, but I’m sort of with somepony else…”
“WHO?!?!!?”
“Oh Bunsen!!” a sing-songy voice called out from the crowd.
“No...” gaped Dragoon, his mouth dropping wide as he saw Celestia slowly trot over next to Bunsen, the two mares exchanging nuzzles.
“Oh hello, Dragoon,” smiled the princess of the sun. “Are you having a good time?”
“But—I—What—We—She—“
“Great!” said Celestia. “I hope you don’t mind if I steal Bunsen away, do you?”
“A….”
“Fantastic, c’mon Bunsen,” she said, taking the purple mare’s hoof in hers. “Come get some cake with me.”
“Of course, honey,” smiled Bunsen as the two mares left the babbling unicorn.
“I tried to warn you.”
Dragoon turned around to see Heart Shield standing right behind him. He put a hoof around Dragoon’s neck.
“C’mon, I’ll buy you a drink. You could use one right about now.”
“But—She—Why--?”
“Try not to think about,” said the red unicorn. “Now let’s get some more beer in your belly and a mare on your lap. That’s what helped me get over it when I found out.”
*****
Inside the castle’s kitchen, a large round boulder dragon was rummaging through the cupboards and drawers.
“Where the hell are they hiding the sugar?” Lurch mumbled to himself. “It has to be in here somewhere…”
He pushed passed some more pots and pans, nothing in this one. They had to of been here somewhere. He pulled his head out of the low bearing cupboard and started to rummage through drawers.
“Just cutlery… Why do ponies even need these?” he asked himself as he pulled out a fork. “They don’t even have fingers… Stay focused Lurch. Sugar.”
He popped the fork into his mouth. He was hungry, but metal wasn’t very filling, and he needed to satisfy his craving for the sweet powdery goodness that was white sugar.
“Ah-Ha!” he grinned as he walked up to the locked pantry. There was at least half a dozen locks on it, but the dragon easily ripped them off like they were made of paper. “Puny locks…” he said, throwing the final padlock onto the floor. He kicked the metal door of the pantry down and gazed that the fruits of his labours. “Jackpot.”
There had to be at least fifty bags of it, all piled up on wooden shelves. Lurch’s eyes widened and he licked his lips as he stepped into the pantry, spinning around in glorious wonders of the sweet paradise he had just walked in on. He immediately ripped open a nearby bag, taking in the sugar’s delectable aroma, before taking two fistfuls of the powder and throwing it in the air. He laughed like an idiot, spinning in circles as the sugar slowly floated down like snow. He was in heaven.
His tongues went to work, all three shot out of his mouth and grabbed a bag, pulling them into his widened gullet. He grabbed and tore open more bags, dumping the contents down his throat. Within minutes he was covered in sugary goodness, powdered white like a ghost.
He moaned with satisfaction, as he walked out of the pantry, leaving a large and sugary mess behind. He didn’t even bother to try and hide his little pleasure, he was pretty sure that the ponies would notice almost fifty bags of sugar gone, he would gladly pay the consequences later.
Lurch had just walked out of the kitchen when he heard a strange noise coming from down the hall.
“Mmmhmmm…” the strange voice groaned.
“What was that?” wondered Lurch as he went down the hall towards the moaning.
“Mmm… oh goddess yes…”
The pale blue dragon continued down the halls, the cooing sounds of pleasure growing louder and louder until he saw some strange rustling happening behind some purple curtains. Carefully, he crept up on the curtains.
It was still moving, probably a couple that wanted some privacy.
“Oh, Dust Devil…”
Lurch blinked. “Dusty?!” he blurted out loud.
The rustling stopped from behind the drapes. “Oh crap!”
“Wait, is that really you?” laughed Lurch as she reached for the drapes, trying to pull them open, but the sky drake was making sure that they stayed shut. “What are you doing? Is someone else there with you?”
“No!” shouted Dust Devil.
“There is, isn’t there?”
“I said no!” growled the dark dragon. “Now go leave before I rip your eyes out!”
“Oh, like I’ve ever listened to you,” grinned the bulda dragon as he pulled down the curtains down.
The drapes fell down, flopping to the floor to reveal Dust Devil, and…
“Rainbow Dash?”
“Oh… hey Lurch” blushed the cyan coloured pony. She had her back against the wall with her hooves around Dust Devil's back. Her multi-coloured mane was a mess, as if it had a claw rummaging through it, and her face covered in small dragon nips.
“Oh… my god…”
“Lurch it’s not what it looks like!” Dust Devil said. “We were just umm…”
“Fighting!” squeaked Rainbow.
“Yeah, fighting, because we hate each other!” said the black and pink dragon.
“Right… You two hate each other as much as I hate sugar covered rubies.”
“Please Lurch,” begged the rainbow mane mare. “Can you please not tell anybody?”
The boulder dragon rolled his eyes and sighed. “Fine, but you two owe me something.”
“Like what?”
“Well…” smiled Lurch, dragging a claw on his shoulder, scraping off some of the leftover sugar. “I think I have an idea.”
*****
“Did you hear what Rainbow and Dust Devil did?” Spike asked Rarity. It had become much later in the evening, most of the guests had left and gone home, leaving only the cleaning crew and some stragglers left. The newlyweds were packing up the last of their bags in their bedroom, getting ready to leave for their honeymoon. “I heard that they broke into the kitchens pantry and ate almost fifty bags of sugar.”
“Really?” asked Rarity as she pressed down on her third suitcase, trying to get the latches to click in. “That sounds like something Lurch would do. What on earth were they doing in there?”
“Probably making out or something like that,” laughed Spike.
“Now Spike, let’s not go assuming things…” said Rarity. “Although that makes more sense than them eating that much sugar.”
“Exactly,” replied the dragon. “Hey, how many more bags do you need to pack?”
“Only two more dear…” grunted the white mare, trying to force down another suitcase lid. “Then we can leave.”
“Just think Rarity, in just a few hours we’ll be at the Harrion Hot Springs.”
Rarity moaned at the very mention of the resort’s name. “It’s going to be just heavenly. I can already feel the hot springs waters soaking into my aching muscles,” she sighed.
“And the food,” said Spike. “Don’t forget the five star restaurant and all-you-can-eat buffet.”
“And that cute little village right outside the resort. Remind me that we need to go shopping when we’re there.”
“Of course…” the dragon grinned. “Mrs. Dragon.”
Rarity stopped pressing down on her suitcase, turning around with a sly grin on her face. “Oh, so I’m Mrs. Dragon now?” she giggled, walking towards her dragon. “Maybe it’s you who are Mr. Rarity.”
“Do you even have a last name?”
“Don’t change the subject!”
“How about,” said Spike, “we don’t change anything. We’re just Mr. Dragon, and Mrs. Rarity.”
“That sounds wonderful” cooed Rarity, planting a quick kiss on the nose of Mr. Dragon. “Now, come help me pack. Our chariot won’t wait forever.”
“Of course… Mrs. Dragon.”
“Hey!” barked Rarity, her dragon falling to the ground laughing. “If we don’t get these bags packed, I won’t be able to show you my new lingerie I got for our first night.”
Spike shot up from the ground. “Here, let me help you with that…”
*****
The dragon snored quietly in the hotel bed, the resorts mattresses were almost as soft as the castle’s guest rooms beds. Still twenty times better than his old one that laid in the library’s basement. He rolled over, feeling for his wife’s soft fur, but she was next to him. “Rarity?” he yawned, as he slowly and reluctantly crawled out of bed.
“I’m in the restroom,” Rarity called.
“Oh, okay…” mumbled Spike, stretching as he finally lifted the last of the many covers off of him. He walked to the small table that resided in the corner of the room. It was piled with ‘Congratulation’ letters from all of their friends, as well with some other pieces of mail that struck his interest. He looked puzzled at a strange looking letter. ‘For Spike’s Eyes Only’ was written on the front and three wax stamps on the back, one red, one purple, and the other green. The dragon scrunched his face as he tried to open it, but the paper refused to rip, it must have had an enchantment on it to keep it from opening up. “Strange…”
“What was that?”
“Nothing dear,” said Spike, tossing the letter onto the rest of the pile. He picked one that wasn’t at all vague and mysterious. “Hey, we got a letter from Bitterbite and Glimmer!”
“Oh really?” said the mare from the bathroom. “How are they?”
“One second,” the purple drake said, as he easily tore open this letter. “I’ll read it out loud.”
“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Rarity (face it dude, you’re that forever now)
Hope you and the misses are doing well on your honeymoon. Everything here has been great. We just finished up moving to our new house here in Ponyville, I have to say that I wasn’t really thinking I would like living indoors were there is no earth to burrow into, but as it turns out that pony floorboards are really weak, so I still get to dig! Glimmer wasn’t too thrilled that we had to pay to replace, as she puts it, ‘the gigantic ass hole my idiot boyfriend dug in the middle of the living room.’ So what do I do? I get down on one knee and ask her if I could be her idiot husband, and now were getting married in the fall! That’s when the ground’s nice and soft and the clouds are big and puffy. It’s our favorite time of the year! I was hoping that you could be my best dragon, and Glimmer wants to know if Rarity would like to be her mare of honor? Anyways, I’m rambling and I need to try and cover up this new hole I dug in the bathroom, so write back soon!
Bitterbite.
PS. This is Glimmer, my idiot fiancé asked me to write something for you guys and I read his little ‘bathroom hole’ bit. I hope you two are having a great time, and Rarity, you better say yes! I already asked the yellow one, but she keeps running away every time I try to talk to her. Now excuse me, I need to kick the crap out of my fiancé for destroying the floor again.
Glimmer.”
“Wow…” snickered Spike as he finished the letter. “Did you hear that Rarity? Bitter and Glimmer are getting married.”
There was no sound coming from the bathroom.
“Rarity, are you alright?” asked the dragon.
Still no answer…
“Rarity!” gasped the dragon as he rushed to the door, giving it a few knocks. “Rarity, I’m coming in! Please be decent!” he called as he slowly opened the door.
Rarity was just standing there, facing the dragon. She didn’t seem hurt. “Spike…”
“Rarity, you’re okay,” said Spike, sighing with relief. “I thought something was wrong.”
Still the mare said nothing, she just turned to the counter of the bathroom, and a little box was sitting open on it. Spike gave Rarity a strange look before going to the box. He noticed that it was open.
“Spike…” said Rarity, as she levitated a small plastic stick into the dragon’s palm of the dragon.
He gently picked it from the magical levitation, and took a better look at it, and that’s when he noticed how it reeked of urine, and there was a newly formed little ‘+’ sign on the fat end.
“I’m pregnant.”
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Bunsen did the edits.
The next chapter is the last one.
The FFB
Well, this cheered me up, a little. After today, I've needed it.
Around Dust Devil's what?
Nice! Very cute chapter. I honestly am not within my best right now to give this the proper review it deserves, but this chapter is wonderful. I'm probably one of the few who knew about the ending beforehoof too. Lol. Anyway, you're amazing Flim. One more chap and it wraps this incredible tale up.
I approve of this
roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/aww-yeah-meme.png?w=250&h=196
That, my friend, knocked it out of the ballpark!!
ASDFGHYUSDJHBGCVDSHCDSHGCDSVGVCD AMAZING FANGASMDGCVDSCGDSCDSJHCBGDHCVDSHJCVDSFGSACXGXVCGCVXGSCXVAGSXCVBCXVSGDHCX VDSAGXCVDSGCHH SD
[brain crashes]
[restart: y/n]
[y]
[CNBIOS v 9.908121.2121]
... much information later...
[repairs complete]
[startup sound]
Wha!?!
1554158
it seemed that the culprit only ate the lime Jell-O and threw away the daisy sandwiches and milk
The ingreadient gelatin in Jello is made of horse hooves...
Sorry to be that guy but it kind of adds a sinister aspect to the whole bit... Sorry...
Other than that i love this story
I-I-I-I don't know how to what the fuck did--WHAT?! With the, and the, what the? HOLY SHIT! Too much happened, and my brain is having a hard time summing up my many thoughts into a single coherent comment. Damn you! DAMN YOU FOR YOUR GREATNESS! Okay the Dash/Dust thing, everyone saw that coming, but it was still funny and pretty damn cute seeing it finally happen. Rarity can breath fire? Did not see that coming/awesome. Last line, saw the build up coming, but could not fucking believe it was happening.
Well done sir. Of all the writers I know, it is you alone that nearly succeeded in breaking me. You win the internet, no contest.
Oh my God now I am officialy dead and came back to read this chapter again.
Yes! Shining Armor is awesome, Lurch is the goddamn man (seriously, he's a player!) and this entire chapter was just awesome!
I'm pumped!
I seriously can-NOT wait for the epilogue
i'm guessing we're nearing the end, right?
i clciked in cuz of awesome pic but wont read cuz to long xD
btw i'm gonna copy dat pic and use it thanks :D
Lurch get's ALL the mares.
That bachelor party reminded of The Hangover movies.
Story: BADA-BOOM!!! Hows your brain now motherfucker?!
Me: Guuublblblbl...
Story: That's what I thought, lol.
A fantastic chapter, I feel that the next is the last possibly. Anyways, I loved this, especially the humor it had
So MUCH EPICNESS!!!
I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE FINAL CHAPTER: THE EPILOGUE!!!
Shiiiiiiiiiiii
I HATE YOU AND YOUR CLIFFHANGERS OF DOOM!!!
And now i am sad, because i dont want this story to end
You kick flank Sir.
That is all
OH MY FUCKING GOD, SHE'S PREGNANT!!!!!!!!
Insanity.
Utter insanity.
The randomness, the party aftermaths, the relationships, and just the sheer goofiness of it all are where this story really shines.
And my mind swan-dove into the gutter when I read "fire sack."
That sounds like a rather painful condition.
1554158 I passed out at the end! Next is the last? ;~; okay then.
Knocked up!!
..........................................................................
this is pinkie pie turning into pac-man anyway this story is great i have read many fics on this website and this one is pretty good keep it up here are some mustache for your hard work. 
................. I...i...i...i Have no idea how to react to this... except... what do you call a child half dragon half pony?
Aside from that, I'm so happy that Rarity is Ok and happy. Please don't make the next chapter the Last!!
1554158
I just got to say, i have enjoyed the Ride from beginning to end, and i hope you never stop writing, this story has made me laugh, laugh, and cry and go omg that is awesome (Zombie Squirrels Who knew)
, This has got to be one of the GREATEST 
Sparity Fanfics in the whole of the world keep it up, looking forward to more.
I can see it now. A white dragon with purple spines .... god help us all.
but she was next to him. Wasn't
One night, impressive. That;s one way to ruin a honeymoon
aww yaaa you go Spike, who's the Drake.
Rarity's pregnant....so that means that they will get an awesome half dragon half pony baby, sweet!
...Thanks for the idea, I might try and do that.
Awwwwwwww fuck yeah!!
I knew there was definantly a reason those side effects came about.
My day was brightened considerably. Thank you for being such a tremendous author.
-Sturrn
“Spike, please tell me that there is a beer bottle or something poking me in the leg…”
THATS NO BEER BOTTLE!!!
I had soo many lolz. And then I get to the bottom? I get slapped in the face with a cliff hanger ... YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD
Me and a friend of mine is making a little bet on whos child Rarity is pregnant with.
The child could be Spikes, or for a sick joke Conquest raped her and she could be carrying his kid instead.
Looking forward to the last chapter, you sir are one hell of a writer
1554158 (sigh) good job. But were Rainbow and Dust Devil having sex behind the curtains?
1554158
i knew as soon as she said she was in the bathroom she was going to be pregnant kudos to you
i.imgur.com/ZG5I2.jpg
I'm pregnant
You sir are god times by three. You and Caboose will be in heaven.
My reaction to the ending
WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT!
Oh My GOD...
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/20256315.jpg
I loved everything! :pinkie happy:
Especially the ending!
And the Rainbow Dash gets caught scene too
-Kiryu
(<---You made this little guy even more awesome then he already was)
dat ending!
roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/aww-yeah-meme.png?w=250&h=196
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/20256315.jpg
AND
IT
ALWAYS
WILL
BE!!!
Let it be twins.
In case you didn't know, Rarity DOES have a last name. According to a tag when you buy an official doll of her, it turns out her last name is "Filigree".
1582718 huh, the more you know....well she's Mrs. Dragon now
1583928 And on that, you're right!
Preggers!
Will it be a dragon? Will it be a pony? Will it be a pogon? (pony/dragon).
"I think I killed a hooker", BEST FUCKING LINE OF THE ENTIRE STORY!
“What?” shrugged the large blue drake. “I’m big, strong, soft and have three tongues, what did you expect? Now let’s go to that wedding!”
Shit, now that deserves some respect.