19| Mage's Horn
One week later, the day before Nightmare Night...
The Water Supply Network for Canterlot is a well maintained system, getting their water from mountain glaciers and pumping it in from surrounding underground springs.
Every two months for about a week, the treatment plant has to carefully monitor supply and demand.
After all, when half the population is perpetually hot for that week, there's going to be a lot of demand for cold water.
Sitting at one of the distribution terminals, Glacier Sparkles, a maintenance mare for the distribution plant, was being as attentive as ever. As she scrolled through the live feed, she noticed a particular street of Canterlot among the upper middle class that was using more water than the surrounding neighbourhood.
"Hey, Gleaming, come check this out," she called to her co-worker, Gleaming Springs.
"What is it?" he answered back, trotting over to her side.
"One of the houses along this street"—she pointed at the street's name on the monitor—"has an increased drain on the cold water. I can't pinpoint which one though."
Gleaming carefully eyed the monitor. "Hmmm... What do you think it could be?" he asked.
"Given the 'season', I'm sure you can guess what."
"What about any other causes?" Gleaming replied with the slightest hint of annoyance. He was trying to be professional! "Leaky taps, faulty readouts et cetera..."
"Uh, heh, right..." Glacier replied somewhat sheepishly. She turned back to the monitor and scrolled through some more information being displayed. "Uhm, well it's not a leaky tap; that would only be a negligible increase.” She eyed the data for about half a minute more, considering the options. "It could be a faulty readout, but until we send somepony to check the metres on the houses, we can only speculate."
"Well thanks for volunteering," he remarked with a condescending pat of his hoof on her shoulder. "Why don't you go check out all the houses on the street while I keep an eye on things here, hmm?"
"But..." Glacier balked in disbelief. She was at a loss as to how Gleaming interpreted her statement as volunteering to solve the problem.
"Look at it like this: you can take your lunch break too! Now go take one of the charts so you can record the levels at each house. If it's a faulty reading and not somepony using the cold water copiously, then we'll need to recalibrate some of the equipment."
"I've always worked inside the plant!" the mare protested.
"Well looks like you've got a field assignment. Now scram!"
"You can't do this to me!"
"Of course I can; I'm your supervisor!"
With the sun beating down on her, Glacier Sparkles began the task of knocking on each and every door on the street to find the house in question.
"I'm with Canterlot Water Distribution. We're experiencing a large drain of water in this region and I've been sent to locate and assess the cause," she'd explain.
She went by each house recording and comparing the readout from the terminal to the house's water metre. Everything was reading normal so far. Even though the readouts were slightly above average when compared to other months, that much was understandable.
It wasn't until she got to house number fifty-seven that Glacier ran into a bit of a problem.
Knocking at the door, she was answered by a rather angry and loud; "What?!" bellowing down from upstairs. Taken aback by the response, she prepared to recite her spiel. She heard what sounded like someone talking to themselves from the other side of the door.
"What do you mean I can't go out there like this? It's just water!" Several seconds passed before she heard a dawning; "Oh!", followed by; "Hold on a second..."
The sounds of hoofsteps going back upstairs then down again, then a moment later the door opened up to reveal a dark-blue, blank flank mare with a purple mane and tail. She was completely sodden with water, mane plastered to her neck and head.
After hearing her introduction, Joseph gave her a bit of a blank stare. "Sorry, but I don't know where the metre is. Kind of new here."
"Oh, no problem, it's usually out the back or front. I didn't notice it coming up the steps, so would you mind if I come in to have a look out the back for it?"
"Uh, yeah I guess..." He opened the door wider to let Gleaming in and closed it behind her. He followed her out to the back of the house.
He'd never been out the back yet, oddly enough. It was just big enough to fit a barbeque, table and chairs, and a clothes line. Gleaming looked up and down for the metre, her eyes settling on a non-descript box attached to the house. She used her magic to pop off the cover and look at the numbers inside. She jotted down a few numbers as Joseph watched on, and eventually she raised a curious eyebrow towards him.
"What?" he asked tentatively.
"I think I might have found the problem."
"...Ok?" Joseph said, confused.
"Either this unit is faulty, there's something wrong with the equipment at the plant, or you've been using more than your fair share of the cold water."
Not unlike being caught red-handed, Joseph's gut sank. She just knew, going off of how wet she was, and why.
Trying, and almost failing to keep herself from laughing, yet remaining professional about the situation, Gleaming explained; "Look, I can tell my supervisor that the unit was faulty and I managed to fix it. If you can return the favour and not live in the shower for the rest of the week, then we're even. Kay? That way it saves both of us the embarrassment, me more so for telling my boss what really happened."
As stiff as a board, screaming obscenities in his head, Joseph simply nodded and swallowed thickly.
"I'll see myself out." Before she left, she paused and spoke. "Can I give you some advice?" Joseph blinked, too mortified to say anything. "I don't mean to be rude, but from one mare to another, just water doesn't cut it. You need some shampoo too. Musk is radiating off of you like freshly cooked bread."
With Nightmare Moon laughing at his situation, Gleaming calmly put the panel back, picked up her things, and left, but not before seductively trailing her tail across his muzzle. Joseph was still rooted in place when he heard the door close, and only then did he let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding. Eyes as wide as saucers, he was having trouble processing what happened. That, and all he could smell was crisp petrichor.
As smugly as she could, dismissing what happened for the most part, Nightmare Moon said; Do you want to continue practicing the teleportation spell? Or do you want to use shampoo this time?
"Uhm, is there even shampoo?"
Are you serious? Nightmare replied with no attempt to disguise her contempt. You've been spending ninety-five percent of your time during the day in there.
"Oh go shove a cactus up your arse, it was just a passing thought. For all I know there could have been some lying around before I got here."
Not likely.
With his shower located at the back of the house, Joseph got the bright idea to check the windows of neighbouring houses. He craned his head over the left hand fence to try and see if there was anything sitting on the sill of the upper-left hand window, where his shower was located, but there was nothing. The right hand window, however, yielded different results. He saw two bottles, although he couldn't tell what they were.
Are you sure you don't want to keep practicing with the bread first? Nightmare asked.
"Continually teleporting bread doesn't do it any favours. I need to go out at some point, and I don't want to be... unintentionally inviting."
Have it your way. Just remember what I told you: visualise reaching out and taking it. The more concentration you put into it, the more effective it'll be. Magic is a conduit with which unicorns interact with the physical world.
He focused on the left hand bottle, closing his eyes and letting his horn glow dark blue. He visualised reaching out and taking the bottle off a shelf. Teleporting was a rather finicky thing; there's just so many variables that could go wrong. Nightmare Moon told him about the vast reserves of magic her body holds, so channeling that to do something specific has proven to be rather difficult.
Practicing on the bread seemed to help, as the bottle suddenly materialised before his face. Startled slightly, his magic cut out and the bottle dropped. With a thoroughly pleased grin on his face, he picked up the bottle and discovered it to be almost what he was after: two-in-one shampoo and conditioner. Joseph figured it'd do, so he went back up to his shower to expunge the unwanted odour from his person.
You didn't strike me as a thief, Nightmare stated with a sense of genuine surprise.
Joseph just shrugged indifferently. "I don't care; I got what I wanted and nobody got hurt. Besides, I need it. Whoever this belonged to probably knows how to handle walking through town in this state better than I do."
From being stuck in the house most of the week with only a few books to pass the time, he needed to get out of the house and get some more food. And shampoo.
Believing himself to be sufficiently cleansed of any unwanted odours, Joseph was heading down the stairs when a knock came at the front door.
'This had better not be water-related...' Joseph mused with agitation.
On opening the door, there stood a regal, white unicorn guard, a depiction of Celestia's sun emblazoned onto the crest of his armour. "Are you..." He magicks a scroll and looks it over. "...Eclipse?"
"Who wants to know?"
"I have a Royal Summons here for you." Magicking one scroll away, he poofs another into existence and levitates it over to Joseph.
He couldn't help but notice the fine silk ribbon keeping the scroll shut, sealed with a wax seal. "Is this like a subpoena or something?"
"Ex...cuse me?"
"...Don't worry. So, am I in trouble or something?"
"Miss, if that were the case, I'd be personally escorting you to Her Highness. No, a Summons is a personal request by Princess Celestia if she wishes to speak with somepony. In this case, you."
Joseph broke the wax seal and unfurled the scroll, glancing the brief message over. Sure enough, it bore a simple message requesting 'Eclipse's' presence at the palace at 'her' earliest convenience.
"Well, I'm not doing anything, so I might as well go." His gaze turned from the scroll to the guard, noticing him still standing at the doorstep. "Can I help you?"
The guard shook his head, as if bringing himself out of a daydream. "I could show you there if you like?"
"I know the way, but thanks anyway." Joseph couldn't help but wonder what the guard was still doing there. "...I still stink, don't I?"
Somewhat flustered, the guard took a short, curt bow, and said; "If you can find your own way, then I'll see myself off." He quickly turned tail and cantered away.
'Time for yet another goddamn shower...'
Forty-five minutes later, Joseph found himself walking up to the steps of the palace, and atop the stairs leading up to the massive doors stood two guards: an earth pony on the right, and a pegasus on the left. Both bore the same exact armour the unicorn did, except one stallion was grey and the other, white. They both held spears in their left and right hooves respectively.
"Pass?" the earth pony said in a monotoned, commanding voice.
"Don't mind if I do." Being cheeky, and choosing to interpret their question as a statement, Joseph boldly strode up the stairs. The guards were quick to cross their spears to prevent any further advancement.
"For citizens, entry to the palace is only by written decree of the princess," the pegasus declared.
Joseph magicked his scroll out and held it in front of the earth pony with a smug grin. 'I'd like to see you do that, you pretentious twat.'
"Proceed." The guards parted their spears, the pegasus pushing open the door with his hind leg.
It was relatively easy for Joseph to find his way to the throne room, stopping once to ask a maid if he was on the right path. He couldn't help but think if the maid's outfits were for either practicality or aesthetic appeal. Either way he wasn't complaining.
Confused as to why a summons would be needed, he strode into the throne room. Princess Celestia sat atop her throne, with Luna sitting off to her left. Why Luna didn't have her own throne he didn't know. Probably due to the fact she essentially got released from jail the other week, and the masons hadn't the time to make one. Once the doors shut behind him, save for the one guard he remembered from a previous encounter, it was just the three of them.
"Welcome! How have you been finding everything these last couple weeks?"
'All this for a social call?' "Uhm, fine, I guess. Despite my... unique... circumstances, never better," Joseph replied dryly.
"Is everything alright?" she asked with concern. "Nopony has heard from you the last week so it behooved me to check up on you."
"Two things. One: I think we both know the answer to that. Two: you wanted to check up on me, but you made not only me, but one of your guards do all the legwork?"
"A princess out walking through Canterlot without a contingent of guards is certainly to turn heads, and attract the intention of ponies with ill intent, and those whom can be a bit over-zealous about seeing a princess."
"And yet you see nothing wrong with Nightmare Moon, AKA myself, using a disguise no less, parade around town?" Celestia blinked, lacking an immediate response. "Get your own disguise; it's that simple!"
"One does not simply take an unannounced leave of absence from the castle without informing those needed about her whereabouts," Luna piped up.
"All that tells me is you two don't get out often, do you?"
Celestia awkwardly shifted in her seat. Crickets.
"Are you sure nothing is wrong? You seem rather agitated by how you're speaking to us."
Joseph rolled his eyes. "Oh sure, I've just spent a week holed up in my house running the shower because I reek!"
"Yes, well, you've got nopony to blame, barring Nightmare Moon."
"Nope, just you two."
Joseph got what he was after: shocked glances from both princess. Having the opportunity to talk extensively with Nightmare Moon the last several days, he was ready to give them an ear full.
"I beg your pardon?"
"Well, primarily you," Joseph said, pointing at Celestia, sitting on his haunches.
"Are you accusing me of your happening?"
"All three of you. Eighty-five-percent you, five percent Nightmare Moon, and the rest lay on Luna's shoulders."
"You would do wise to watch your tone with my sister," Luna challenged.
"Oh, but I'm just getting started! I'll just cut it back to the bare bones." He turned to Celestia. "Why did you send Luna to the moon?"
"Is this a trick question?"
"No, it's a simple one."
"My sister attempted to usurp the throne by way of transforming into Nightmare Moon."
"Now, elaborate on that," Joseph replied with a wide grin.
Celestia cocked an eyebrow. "Something tells me you already know the answer to these questions, and are only asking me them only because you want me to say them."
"Here's what fucks me off about you, princess. I talked at length with Nightmare Moon about everything. Everything! She was there long before either you or Luna realised. Now, here's my understanding of things.”
Joseph continued. "Luna wanted her opportunity for the populace to notice what she had to offer at night. She was upset that everyone slept through her night while they enjoyed what you had to offer. Luna's resentment was born of the bitterness that grew because nobody couldn't truly appreciate how beautiful the night could be in comparison to your day. Can you honestly blame her for wanting to keep the moon up for a little longer so everyone could admire what they'd otherwise sleep through?"
"In hindsight, no."
"So why wouldn't you let her?"
"The cycle of day and night was and is a strictly maintained cycle."
"That's just telling Luna that you care less about her than you do your own ideals! You did next to nothing to help with Luna's depression," he said with a stomp of his hoof.
"I love my sister; I would never deliberately do something like that!"
"Deliberately," Joseph echoed. "Yet, you did. Things got worse, and worse, and worse. She only ever wanted one thing: to experience what you do on a daily basis. You forced her hand; how else was Luna supposed to make ponies notice? The shadow you cast from keeping the sun out kept her in the dark, and in turn, you cast yours over her.”
"It would be wise if you chose your next words very carefully," Celestia sneered.
"It makes sense that your sun tattoo is on your ass. It covers fuckin' everything!"
"How dare you!" Celestia snapped. "I had nothing but good will in calling you here, but now you're making unfounded accusations at me?"
"The complete and utter opposite of 'unfounded'. It's largely because of your own negligence that Luna did what she did." He turned to Luna. "You're not out of the line of fire yet." He turned back to Celestia. "There were multiple ways that you could have handled it, yet you let the situation devolve enough so she would ask for help from a being as evil as Nightmare Moon? How bad do you think her mental state must have been?
"And now look at her! You broke her heart; she turned evil; you banished her for a thousand years, and I'd wager that a good portion of people still don't know she's back. Luna even has a widely celebrated holiday to remind her of the mistakes she's made!
"There's two sides to everyone: one they want to show, and one they want to hide. You've demonstrated your ineptitude towards your sister, thus showing you care less about what others hold dear to them than you do yourself. Luna's got nothing to hide, she only wanted to show everyone what she could do. That makes her better than you.
"And you!" He turned to Luna. "Instead of going bat shit crazy, you could have just left. Get up and go. People don't realise how much they appreciate something until it's gone. If you had left, Celestia would have realised her mistake. Stay away, let it sink in to her how how much of a cunt Celestia was!"
"Stay your tongue, or I'll have you arrested for treason!" Celestia snarled.
"Treason?!" Joseph asked with humoured incredulity. "Firstly, if someone's a cunt, you call them a cunt! Secondly, I have no loyalty to either of you, and the two of you hold no sovereignty over me, either! Arresting me for treason is like giving a jam sandwich to a drowning rabbit. Are you that much of a muppet to do so?"
Celestia's horn flashed for a moment and the door burst open. "Guards, take him! Any final words?" she asked as the guards surrounded Joseph to take him to the dungeon.
"Going to detain me for freedom of speech?" Joseph quirked.
"Come on ma'am, that's enough."
"Bangers and Mash."
The guard looked at Joseph with confusion. "Ma'am?"
"Bubbles and Squeak."
"Excuse me?"
"Smoked Eel Pie."
"Miss..." the guard cautioned.
"Haggis!"
"That is it! Come with us!" the guards roared before dragging Joseph out of the throne room, kicking and screaming.
He turned back to shout in Celestia's direction; "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, here they are standing in a row! Small ones big ones, some as big as your ass!"
That... was... brilliant, Nightmare Moon awarded.
Joseph caused quite the stir while being carried off to the dungeon. Celestia followed behind, making reassurances that everything will be fine.
Celestia stood at the end of the concrete corridor (of which has a dozen cells; six on one side with the others opposite), watching as the guards effectively threw Joseph into a cell.
Joseph fell to the floor with an 'oof', grunting in discomfort as he righted himself into a sitting position as the door slammed shut behind him. Next came hoofsteps, Celestia walking tentatively up to Joseph's cell.
"So I guess you are," Joseph remarked.
"Never before have I seen such blatant disrespect for royalty."
"Hey, sunny buns, respect is earned, not freely given. Like I said; after my chat with Nightmare, that made me lose all respect for you. Now you've essentially done to me what you did to Luna."
"The cell is enchanted too, so forget about using magic. Your level of magic is no hope in getting out of there. And so long as you're in there, Chrysalis is going to have to go through me to get to you. At that stage I would have thwarted what she's planning."
Joseph leaned forward and draped his forelegs over the middle vertical, wrought-iron bar of the cell door. "That's the beauty of it," he began with a victorious grin, "she's going to have to go. Through. You," he finished, jabbing his right hoof at Celestia with enunciation. "With you out of the picture, Luna will get her chance in the spotlight, and you will have weakened Chrysalis enough for me to deal with. You're such a team player."
Celestia disregarded Joseph furthermore. She turned to the same guard, of whom was originally in the throne room when Joseph got there. "I'm posting you outside the door." She gestured with a nod of her head at the door at the end of the hall. "I'll be back down tomorrow to let hi-her, out."
"Understood, your majesty."
With the cell empty not a moment later, Joseph reclined onto the wall-mounted, fold-down cot, folding his forehooves behind his head and crossing his legs. He grinned. 'I certainly don't have the magic, but Nightmare does.' he mused to himself. 'Hey, Moonie, how's Chrysalis' spell doing?'
If what you’re asking is if she's come or gone, I am unable to tell.
'Alright good, now here's the deal. Now that we've bought some time where Chrysalis can't get us, you're going to help me sort out a few things and get out of here by the time Celestia gets back, so here's what we're going to do...'
Quite a ways off from Canterlot, in one of the many valleys gouged into a mountainside, a lone, aqua-blue unicorn strode, struggling somewhat and pulling a cart in her wake.
"Trixie has made a wrong turn," she grumbled.
The cart's wheels clattered and jarred against the rocky ground. Luckily, the contents of the cart were kept secure. From walking for over a day in such rocky terrain, it had marred Trixie's hooves, the tips of her hooves beginning to split and chip.
"Trixie should have gotten new shoes too."
Trixie stopped for a moment, unharnessed the wagon, and went to a box attached to the cart between the wooden arms. She pulled out a map and compass, took a seat, and began to get her bearings.
"Trixie is... another half day's walk north from Ponyville." As she was putting the map and compass away, a baseball-sized rock rolled down one of the steep inclines of where she’d walked, catching her attention. Her head spun on a pivot to watch the rock roll away harmlessly in another direction. Somepony had knocked it loose.
"Who goes there?!" she screamed.
A pony peaked his head over one of the boulders, cocking its head at Trixie. He leaped into the air and glided down to the mare. He was donned in royal guard armour, putting Trixie's nerves at ease.
"Morning Glory. I'm with the Canterlot Royal Guard."
"Trixie is not lost!" Trixie immediately defended. "Trixie still has time to get to Ponyville by tomorrow for her performance!" she finished proudly.
"Tomorrow? Miss, that's today!" Morning Glory lied.
"What?!"
"Twilight Sparkle, the organiser for the event, said you were running late, so she sent two guards to search you out to hurry you back to Ponyville for your scheduled performance!"
Trixie balked. "It's a half a day's walk from here; I'll never make it on time!"
Morning Glory just shook his head. "If you get in your cart, I'll hook myself and my partner up, I can fly us there in two hours." He put the edge of his hoof in his mouth, giving a sharp, piercing whistle that echoed throughout the valley. Several moments later, a grey spec could be seen flying in the distance. "Make yourself comfortable, my partner is on his way."
"Trixie is thankful for your assistance!"
"The pleasure is all mine. I've got a feeling that the show you'll put on will be remembered for years to come."
Trixie proudly bounced her hair with a hoof. "You must have heard of Trixie, then," she said with a smug grin.
"Oh, of course I've heard of you! Your talent for illusion reminds me of my mother!"
"Are you calling Trixie old?"
"I meant no offense. You two just have similar talents, that's why you reminded me of her."
The other pegasus guard landed on the ground with a thud, the metal of his shoes clinking on the gravel as he walked to strap himself in next to Glory. "Let's go. By the time we get there, you'll have plenty of time to set up before everything kicks off properly," he said.
Trixie was quick to climb into the back of the cart, locking the door behind her.
Morning Glory and his partner were thankful that the cart only had one window. It was attached to the door to the cart on the opposite end from which Glory and co. were tied to. The duo snickered and gave one another a brohoof.
They took off, gliding in a smooth arc that ended with them facing away from Ponyville, careful to not make Trixie suspicious that they were going in the opposite direction.
Half an hour into their flight, a lone changeling joined the flight, flying in sync with Glory and partner. A wreathe of green fire encompassed them both, revealing their natural, chitinous forms underneath, showing the newcomer they were friendly.
After a moment, Morning Glory said, making sure Trixie couldn't eavesdrop; "Fly ahead to Chrysalis and let her know we have Trixie secured, then continue to help with the plans for tomorrow."
The changeling gave a salute and sped off in front of the wagon without uttering a single word.
"Do you know what Chrysalis is planning? All of the orders I've been getting don't make any sense."
"I'm just an errand boy," Morning Glory replied. "Between that, and messing around with Drone Ex-B, I've been having too much fun to care. Everything will make sense tomorrow."
Two hours later, the now undisguised changelings flew the cart into the entrance of the hive, settling down just inside.
There, already waiting, was Chrysalis.
“Trixie Lulamoon, as promised, your highness,” Glory stated.
“Ex-B has been restless. See to her.”
Morning Glory beamed. “Right away, your majesty.” He hurried off into the bowels of the mountain.
Chrysalis glared at the other changeling for a moment until he got the hint, scarpering off into the hive. She shapeshifted, then walked around to the door of the carriage and knocked.
It opened and Trixie poked her head out. “Princess Celestia!” she gaped. “Forgive Trixie, she had no idea you would be in Ponyville!”
“Come, I’ll show you there.”
Trixie climbed out of the cart, but became apprehensive when she saw she was standing in the entrance of a large cave.
“Princess? What are we doing in a cave?”
Chrysalis thought up a clever lie. “A cave that takes you into Ponyville. Short cut. As I am a princess, it’s so I’m not seen coming and going in most instances. Have you been to Ponyville before?”
“N-no…”
“It’s alright, you can trust me. I’ll have a guard pick up your cart and bring it with him.”
Trixie looked around in the entrance. “Where did the other two go?”
“They were only sent to search for you. Another shall be along momentarily. Keep up, we don’t want you getting lost, now would we?”
As Chrysalis lead Trixie deeper into the cave, it became dark enough that Trixie’s light spell only illuminated a few feet or so in front of her.
If anyone was in the surrounding valley, or mountain for that matter, all would have heard the shrill, ear-shattering shriek pierce the tranquil silence for miles around.
*Inserts obligatory joke about teleporting bread...*
Guys, 10k away from 100,000 words! 
To commemorate the momentous occasion, I will aim to have a long, 10,000 word chapter, or at least a two-parter!
I've been waiting to get around to the ending of the story for months and months. I've been thinking long and hard about how I want this to end, and I've got the perfect idea with which to do that.
Also, kudos to anyone that spots the extremely vague Fallout 3 reference!
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Man, Trixie is stupid, really? A cave shortcut to a town that is at the bottom of the mountain and a fair way away from it, she should have known better. And damn did he give Celestia a lashing with her words. Nice.
7121018
Think of it like this.
At the beginning of the story, Joseph's attempt at a good deed got him killed. He wound up in a body that wasn't his, assigned to the completely opposite gender. I don't know about you, but I'd be rather crabby too. And being stuck in a shower with what can be chalked down to dealing with hormonal imbalances and not knowing how to handle them, yeah...
Then, after talking it over with NMM and revealing some of the history between Celestia and Luna, Celestia's implication that Joseph's predicament is solely NMM's fault is audacious towards him in and of itself. After all that, he's understandably upset on numerous levels. It would make sense that Joseph would accost Celestia about her ineptitude.
While Joseph's rant might have been uncalled for, it wasn't completely unjustified. In short, an aggressive emotional breakdown.
7120957 Yeah, Trixie is a couple oars short of a rowboat.
The brief flight Trixie had would have made her believe that she was near Ponyville, or thereabouts.
Hmm. Someone's up to something. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
7121124
Yeah, that scene was inspired by this scene from National Treasure 2. I really like that movie
7121603 you got those two references, but did you catch the Fallout 3 reference? :3
7121651 I didn't play much Fallout 3.
If it had been from New Vegas, I'd have been more likely to get it.
SHOTS FIRED! From an IOWA!
Note Joe is completely right. Celestia screwed up big time 1000 years ago.
Also arresting somepony for treason when only speaking truth. UMMM Tyrant much TIA?
Be thankful Selene is not there for she would kick your flank into next week.
7121745 What's an IOWA? Google search only turned up the state of Iowa.
Can't wait to read more!
It's expiration date is moved up when it gets teleported. #tf2jokes
7121888 Iowa Class battle ship the most powerful US battleship actually built.
And did you kill Trixie?
Wow! Surprisingly mild rant against the ones who SHOULD have told the very unhappy EX male that his body would be going into HEAT like a god-(
*squee*) feral animal. I'm surprised he didnt put the icing on the cake by calling both of them out for omitting that 'little' detail...
7121745
Gosh, good thing this isn't America, am I right? Oh wait, that's right, it's a country ruled by one (well, two now) pony. Who does she answer to? Mmmmm... anyone? No one?
Sorry to say if you cheese off the supreme leader, you're gonna have to expect some sort of consequences. This isn't Mother Teresa. Celestia is more like a mom. When you talk back enough to mom, she puts you in time-out before she does something drastic. Granted, this is also the very reaction he- er, she... them? They(!) were wanting. Dunno why they didn't just secretly ask Celestia to put them in a magic-proof cell but, hey, same result.
7123514 yes but now she can't take a high road. I wonder how the average pony would think of Joe (Eclipse) was put in the dungeon for speaking?
7122311
Hope not, she's best pone after all.
And aren't changelings more apt to cocoon her? I mean, why waste the love while a spy takes over for her?
7123529 That's usually my thinking but many actually have Changelings killing their food as well.
Like I said earlier. These sisters are BUCKING lucky that Selene is not there.
7123526
Towards the end I was half expecting the reason for Eclipse's rant to be Discord-based. She was getting rather crazy when they hauled her out. (Barking like a dog would not have been unusual)
7123540 well consider who she share's minds with who can blame her.
7123540 Frankly, if it had NOT been somewhat part of a half-assed plan, Discord would not touch the situation with a 100 yard pole. Speaking in tongues and Exorcist head-spinning would have been completely normal by the end of Eclipse's rant.
If the chapter had opened with the two sisters waking up to find downtown Canterlot in flames, it would have been completely understandable. As Chris Rock would have said to the Princesses, "I would not condone it, but I completely understand!"
You have a human male trapped in a body that goes into Heat, and not one pony in the know of his/her situation bothered to mention that little factoid. you, know, the little thing every mare would teach her little filly about that she would not bother her colt with other than getting him running shoes...
Not even human women experience or can comprehend Heat. PMS has to be bad enough, but the way its described hitting the mares? Whoo boy!
Blindsiding a male mind without even the slightest hint whats gonna happen with Alicorn levels of hormones in a big blast? If Eclipse had really lost control of herself with Celly, Discord would just park a lawn chair and popcorn wayyy over on the dragon's mountain and watch without the slightest bit of interference for what the GROSS NEGLIGENCE of the Princesses had wrought...
7124494
You, uh, did remember to bring the popcorn, right?
7124898
Darn, I knew i forgot something...
this is getting vary interesting.
Nice chapter
Okay, um, I get he wanted to get thrown into a cell but it just seems to me that Celestia's reaction is a little forced. If that's on purpose and she caught on, thereby taking part in the charade, then fine, but I don't really see Celestia as the type to just suddenly blow her stack like that. Getting a little miffed, to say the least, certainly, but throwing Eclipse into a cell and bringing up treason of all things? It just seemed a bit much, but hey, we'll see where this goes before we get too judgemental.
7134803 So we're clear, treason, by definition, is betraying someone or something, most notably a government or ruling power. Betraying someone means to expose ones country, group, or a single person, by giving information to an enemy.
Joseph/Eclipse essentially showed how much contempt he had for Celestia, and to a lesser extent Luna and Nightmare Moon, by screaming at them. If we're going by definition, then his actions weren't strictly treasonous, but he's arguing with a diarchy. Not only that, but being from a foreign land, there'd be next to nobody to corroborate what he has to say.
Governments and ruling powers always have ways of twisting facts to support what they WANT people to believe. Joseph factually knows what happened one-thousand years ago when Luna got sent to the moon, so spreading that information around would be tantamount to treason. Screaming at the princesses like he did isn't really treason in and of itself, but it's what he knows which is treasonous. Celestia has a lot of reason to lock him up, and I'll address when and why she lets out Joseph in the next chapter.
7134864 Huh, well, okay, the treason part makes sense when you put it that way. Celestia just never struck me as the type to blow up like that, though, granted, he was being deliberately provocative. Of course I can't imagine the emotional hell he's going through with a whole new set of completely unexpected hormones to deal with, so it's not like he doesn't have reason to be in a foul mood either. Anyway, thanks for addressing my ignorance on the matter.
7147844 Even if it was a pun, both of those meanings are essentially the same.
Wait! Twilight's a princess?
7150284 Not in this story, no.
7150445
Might want to change that then.
7151995 I think I got confused between 'Princess Celestia' and 'Twilight Sparkle', so I accidentally fused the two names.
That said, this went through three proofreaders, so I have no idea why they didn't pick it up, nor why anybody else noticed until now.
I guess everyone has become accustomed with Twilight being an alicorn at this stage
7152024 Yah but you made it obvious this was before Twilight ascended. Surprised no one else noticed.
I'm never going to be able to hear the word haggis without cracking up now!
7180776 Don't go to Scotland, or they'll wonder what the fuck is wrong with you
7231255 Pay attention to chapter 14.
Nightmare Moon picked away at Luna's mind to give her more leeway to gain entrance to her mind. Think of it along the lines of having a full Hard Drive and erasing things to make room for more. That's what NMM is doing to Joseph. He's got control of her body, so she's trying to chip away at his memories to make him more like her so she can regain control of her body.
This story is among those that I require to satisfy my hunger for good Nightmare Moon fics. Please do not starve me.
--
From the looks of it the next chapter is going to be massive. 5050 words and only around 55%?
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7233141
I think you mean 5500
But yeah, I'm aiming for 10k for the next chapter. Shit gon' go down!
*licking my fangs, eager for more*
7233676
I am looking forward to it.
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7234208 Chrysalis gonna be licking her fangs too
Do you know when the next is ?
7253939 I have no fixed schedule, but I keep a percentage of the next chapter to indicate the progress at the top of the story's description so people have an idea of how it's coming along.
7253990 Ah thanks
How about you sell me your soul so you can finish this faster? I can do kidnappings at a great price. Your relative's won't even notice that your gone. I swear you will not feel a thing. Scout's honor!
i.ytimg.com/vi/4N6FlNemY9I/maxresdefault.jpg
7255454 I don't have a soul, so I can't sell you it.
To those of you who see an update notification for this story, that was a complete accident. I accidentally clicked the 'Publish' button instead of the 'Edit' button as I was copy-pasting in some corrections into fimfic from gdocs.
I hope I don't get in trouble...
Edit: Relevant, this blog.
Double Edit: Also relevant blog
Hey this story was just featured