Justifiably Not

by LickleSoxy

Chapter 1

Celestia was not a liar.

Taking a sip of the ice cold refreshment that had been carefully produced by the caterers, the princess closed her eyes in bliss as the cool liquid soothed her heated throat. It felt constricted, yet she could not fathom why. Today was glorious. Celebrations of a recent victory were being held, and the party she was currently attending was fun. So, why did her cheeks feel flushed and hot? Why could she not quiet her rapid heart beat? Surely it should be settled? Could other ponies hear the thudding; could they determine whether it was from illness or something else?

Sniffing, Celestia attempted to ignore the aroma of food surrounding her. The stench was not desired, and she feared that breathing too deeply would cause an involuntary need to gag. Allowing the cup to be free of her magic, she opened her eyes and stared down at its dirtied surface. The once pristine shade of white was covered in a murky mess, thanks to the punch that had been held inside it moments ago.

Frowning slightly, Celestia thought it would be best that the cup not be used again. Usually, she would happily have it refilled without the want of it being cleaned first. Not today, though. The cup was filthy, and she didn't care to stifle her disgust for the sake of another drink.

Mouth forming a thin line, Celestia turned her attention to the crowd. Ponies were dancing and laughing, as they should be. This was a celebration, after all.

"Are you not enjoying the party, Princess?"

Glancing at Twilight Sparkle - the action was more out of politeness, than the desire to be friendly - Celestia forced a small smile.

"Of course, Twilight. I believe I'm just fatigued from having been awake so long." She willed her smile to become more sincere. "You go and enjoy the company of your friends. You have earned it."

Twilight didn't look too convinced, but she gave a curt nod regardless. Thankful when the young pony moved away from the table, Celestia blew out a sigh. Her attitude was incorrect. She wasn't being fair. Her greatest student had saved the land they all called home, just hours ago, and what was she doing? Sulking away in the corner, wishing she were anywhere but here.

Gritting her teeth in frustration, Celestia directed her gaze at anything that wasn't the six Element bearers. Cancelling out the screams of joy and chatter, she swept her eyes over the mass of ponies until, without intending to, her focus settled on the one creature in the room that was not fully equine. Her eyes narrowed, and the swell of irritation that had been slowly descending on her came out in full force.

Discord was watching the party, just as she was. His features were calm, unconcerned; his posture matched. Lounging against one of the far walls, he had his talon and paw crossed across his chest, and his tail was twitching idly at random intervals by his side. Why was he not participating in the festivities? From what Twilight had explained, he was the one who'd made the defeat of Tirek possible, by providing an action that had cemented a reformation that had been a long time coming.

Of course, that was after he'd betrayed them all. But... had Celestia really expected any different? When she'd initially sent him on the mission to retrieve Tirek, had she really believed he would do what was asked of him?

No.

The tiny, insignificant word sliced through her mind harshly. Unable to prevent the cringe that made its way onto her face, Celestia hurriedly twisted her gaze away from Discord.

Was that what she really thought? Was her opinion of him so cruel that she would purposely set him a task that she knew he would fail? Just so she could have a reasonable excuse to judge him guilty, and turn him back to-

Celestia shook her head furiously to fight off that train of thought. She was a ruler. She was a princess, an alicorn, and the one that gave direction to all her subjects. Her punishments were done out of justice. They were what needed to be done, and no one could challenge that notion. Luna, Cadance... even Discord. Neither of them could tell her she was in the wrong, because she wasn't. Her actions, her attacks, were all done to protect the ponies of Equestria. Personal feelings and emotions did not enter into the equation.

Standing up abruptly, she swallowed back the bile that threatened to seep into her mouth. Licking her lips in a feeble attempt to quench the sudden thirst that poured into her, Celestia held her head high to try and hide the fact that there was a shake in her legs. Stepping back from the table, she began a fast walk towards the doors that lead to freedom from the suffocation of the party and all its elated occupants.

As she rushed through to the sanctity of the hallway, Celestia drew out a long breath. Warm air passed out of her mouth, and she wished to make it cold like ice. She was far too hot.

"Leaving without even saying goodbye? That's not at all like the Celestia I know."

His voice startled her. Tearing through her nerves, the words sent a chill down her spine. Why, of everyone in Equestria, did Discord have to be the one to come running after her? Ignoring him completely, she stood perfectly still. No matter how much she wanted to flee, she understood that it would be futile to even try. He'd always been able to find her, regardless of the spaces she managed to hide in. Fighting off the urge to shudder, she tried to brace herself for the question she knew would exit his mouth next. He did not disappoint.

"What's wrong?"

Celestia's eyes closed, squeezing tightly. "Nothing."

Then, against her better judgement, she ran. She wasn't lying. Nobody could prove otherwise. Everything was fine. Everything she'd done, past and present, was for the best.

Everything she did was justifiable.

And it was the truth, because she was not a liar.

The only problem Celestia faced was trying to convince herself that it was true.

Comments

[DarkBlueDreamer]

Hmm! An interesting little slice of examination of Celestia's character in the wake of the events in question. It's kinda neat to see her wrestling with herself... her long-term justifications and habits versus her conscience. Of course Discord would pick up on that... and in a way I like how you left his attitude open to interpretation. One would expect Discord to be aggressive if not hostile... but then, he's learned a few things, so maybe he'd be more sympathetic. I'm gonna say I like it. :)

[LickleSoxy]

4826978 Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

[Starlight Nova]

I don't get it.

[Nerfyy]

how is this complete ??
there is no end
we want to know whats wrong and if Discord tries to find her

[Amm]

5010744
It's perfectly complete. The story was written as a glimpse into Celestia's psyche not as a story with a beginning and an end. As for what's wrong, the fact that she's trying so hard to convince herself of what /isn't/ wrong should spell it out.