• Member Since 17th May, 2014
  • offline last seen Apr 6th, 2019

SonicRainboom_


I've been a Brony for quite a while. I love reading fanfics but I have hardly any xperience writing them. I hope this may give me a chance to write my very own fanfics! I love romance though :)

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Pinkie Pie's day is perfectly normal and she starts it with her signature cupcake breakfast in Sugarcube Corner. She has a huge variety, from chocolate to rainbow. She decides to eat all, and her day starts to get interesting when Derpy happens to see her eat a BLUEBERRY CUPCAKE.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 4 )

Small and sweet is good enough for me. :twilightsmile:

Its pretty good for a first fix. But I would suggest adding more detail. Now some people confuse adding detail with just adding in random words that nobody but you knows because you briefly saw it in a dictionary this morning. To add more detail you need to take out the random stuff like the oven baked muffins and replace it with things that are more plotline centered. I also think you got to the argument and anger too fast. I would have thought Derpyand Pinkie, being like the two happiest ponies ever, would have started out being like, "Oh Pinkie, you must have made a mistake, you probably thought that the blueberry cupcake was a blueberry muffin and accoedentally eaten it for breakfast, cause you would never eat a...cupcake...ARGH, the word gives me shutters, would you?" And then pinkie would say something back equally nice but with the same angry tension. Kinda like how a teacher gets mad at you when you arent doing something right and puts on a fake smile and kinda tells you what to do. I think its called passive aggressive, try looking it up because I'm not sure. Well I hope my advice will help. I like the fix by the way.

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