The Changelings Have a King

by Jade Ring

Chapter 6: One Day in Ponyville (Evening)

Ponyville

Filthy Rich considered himself to be a pony of fine taste, hence the alarming amount of money he tended to sink into his office. Suri, his beautiful wife, would sometimes raise her voice in objection, but he knew it was just a ploy to convince him to buy her something even more expensive. When she’d been a filly, his little Diamond Tiara had loved visiting the office. He’d lost track of how many times his tiny princess had fallen asleep on the couch in the corner, called to dream-land by the lullaby of the enchanted speakers cleverly hidden in different parts of the room playing gentle Heythoven. He’d often catch her sitting behind his great oak desk (one of a kind and built from Timber Wolf carcasses) pretending to fire some hapless individual.

But there was more to business than hiring and firing. Sometimes there were very important ponies to talk to.

He offered his most disarming smile to the pair of nobles sitting in front of him and gestured at the map of Ponyville now taking up most of the desk’s surface space. “The area of the proposed park is a solid twenty acres of land. If ya’ll are seriously in love with the area, then I recommend purchasing at least four of them.”

Blueblood raised an eyebrow upon spying several suspicious red marks on the map. “It looks like we’re hardly the first ponies you’ve made this offer to.”

Filthy chuckled and leaned back in his plush chair, stuffed with the feathers of a now extinct avian resident of the Everfree Forest. “The Mayor sold me that land with the understanding that I would convert it into a public park, but twenty acres? For a park? For free?” He grimaced and jokingly clutched his hoof to his chest. “No, that land is just perfect for Filthy Acres; a development of five estates for the equine elite.”

“Of which you would be liking to include us.” Janice popped her gum.

Filthy shrugged. “The PR alone would be heaven-sent. I’ve only sold two of the homes thus far and one of those is to myself.”

“The other?”

“The lovely Sapphire Shores.”

Blueblood looked at the map once again. “Quality neighbors.” He sighed and tossed his mane. “Mr. Rich, you seem to be a shrewd business stallion.”

“I like to think so.”

“Then I’d like to be frank with you; I intend to burn this town to the ground, salt the earth with the charred remains of the ponies that live here, and make it the base of operations of a full-scale invasion of Equestria as a whole.”

Filthy opened his mouth to respond, closed it again, and finally offered a slight, uneasy smile. “I beg your pardon, but I don’t think I heard you right.”

“Oh, enough of this.” Janice spat out her gum and glared at Ponyville’s top entrepreneur.

Filthy watched in amazement as his two guests seemed to catch fire. Green flames coated their flesh, melting it away and revealing chitinous, glistening exoskeletons. Clear, thin wings grew from their back and their horns took on a jagged appearance. The flames faded, and the Prince and Duchess were gone.

A King and Queen sat before him now.

Filthy could have screamed. He could have called for help. He could have dived out of the window.

Instead, he swallowed hard, straightened his tie, and acted as though nothing had happened. “So, now that we’re shootin’ straight, why don’t ya’ll tell me what it is you’re really after?”

Chrysalis stared at the stallion in disbelief, puzzled at the taste of his emotional aura. “You… you aren’t frightened?”

Filthy shook his head. “Your majesty, your husband was right. I am a shrewd business stallion, and I didn’t quadruple my family fortunes by not getting my hooves dirty from time to time.”

Carapace laughed. “You see, my love? He’s just the kind of pony we need.” Carapace’s horn sparked and the town map was illuminated. “Mr. Rich, my wife and I are expecting to start a family in the near future.”

Something in the bowels of Chrysalis’ being twitched and she winced slightly. “The very near future.”

“Our children are going to need a large and ready food supply once they arrive. That’s where Ponyville comes in.”

“Reducing an entire populace of ponies into something akin to cattle?” Filthy grinned. “The thought is tempting… if only from a business perspective. I take it this manor house of yours would be a sort of nursery?”

The Changelings nodded.

“And I suppose you’d want it built as quickly as possible?”

“In the next few days.” Carapace sent a spark of love into his queen who shuddered at his psychic touch. “Just in case.”

“That’s a tall order, your majesties. I’d have to have the workers start tonight and work non-stop…”

“If that’s what you have to do.” Chrysalis felt her new tail beginning to coil. She did not trust this stallion.

“Oh, it’s no trouble. If I pay them enough, they’ll do whatever I say. But it seems the issue of my payment is still the one thing unresolved here.”

“Your payment?” Chrysalis hissed.

“You can’t get somethin’ for nothin,’ your majesty.” Filthy regarded the glowing map. “You’re asking me to hand over a town that I own roughly sixty-seven percent of thanks to mortgages and loans. I can’t be expected to just hand it over a silver platter.” He raised an eyebrow. “What do I get in return?”

“You impertinent… you’ll get your life!”

Filthy raised a hoof. “An excellent starting point for negotiations. My life is a good start, but I think we can do better.” His eyes fell on the framed picture on his desk; his lovely Suri and precious Diamond Tiara. “I don’t just want my life, but the lives of my wife and daughter as well.”

Chrysalis made ready for a retort, but Carapace stopped her. “Be calm, my love. What are three when there are hundreds more?” He smiled at the brown stallion. “Safe passage from town for you and your family sounds reasonable. Though I recommend going a bit farther than the next town over.”

“I have a winter home in Zebora. I trust your new kingdom won’t reach that far?”

Carapace considered the idea but shook his head. “Equestria will be plenty big enough I think.”

Filthy Rich extended a hoof over the map. “Then we have a deal?”

Carapace touched his hoof to Filthy’s… and the glowing map burst into flames.

Filthy fell back in his chair as the map was reduced to cinders. The green flames spread across the desk and washed across the Changelings. Their fleshy disguises reappeared in a matter of seconds. “That’s quite the trick.”

Blueblood ignored him, helping Janice to her feet. “When will the house be ready?”

Filthy looked at the drawer that held his blueprints. “If you don’t care about specifics, I can have the place fully built by this Saturday. The vault slash cellar will be done and covered up by… oh, tomorrow night.”

Blueblood gave an impressed look. “So quickly?”

“I’ll want to be on my way as soon as possible.”

Blueblood laughed. “And so you shall. Come to the estate on Friday evening for your payment.”

Filthy opened his mouth to respond but the royal couple were already gone. He composed himself and pressed a button on his desk. “Candy?”

“Yes sir?” His secretary’s voice answered.

“Before you leave today, I need you to contact the Hammer Brothers. Tell them to be at my office in one hour.”

“Yes sir. Anything else?”

Filthy remembered the burning map of Ponyville. “I need an appointment with Pro Bono in the morning. I need to update some insurance policies.”

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Crescendo gaped at Cheerilee as she finished her story and polished off her latest glass of brandy. “You actually suggested he start a herd?”

Cheerilee shrugged as she tipped the bottle with unsteady hooves, relishing in the sound of her glass filling once more. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Crescendo was unmoved. “Where this sudden romantic interest in herding came from is beyond me. Do any of you mares know why herding fell out of practice? It was a barbaric custom that could have wiped out the whole earth pony genetic line! I’d go so far as to put it on the same level as the unicorn’s disgusting genetic manipulations and inbreeding!”

Cheerilee’s quiet laugh echoed from the inside of her glass as she took another drink.

“It’s hardly a laughing matter, madam!” Crescendo made to take another sip himself only to find his glass horribly dry. “Do those romance novels about herding talk about how a mare would have to give herself to every stallion in the herd when she learned she was pregnant? She would have to create the idea that any of them could be the father. Otherwise, those other males would…”

“Okay. Okay. I get the picture.” Cheerilee waved him off as he magicked the bottle away from her. “Aren’t you worried about Dimmy hearing this conversation?”

“No worries. He’s at a friend’s house tonight... don’t change the subject!” He shook the bottle at her slightly. “What in the wide world of Equestria possessed you to…?”

Cheerilee threw her hooves up with exasperation. “I was desperate, okay? It was a gamble.”

“Gambling’s a terrible habit.” Crescendo muttered as his glass refilled. “You’re better off removing yourself from the table entirely.”

“Like you did with Rarity?”

Crescendo froze and cut eyes at his fellow teacher. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Cheerilee rolled her eyes and took another sip of warm alcohol. “I’m not blind, Crescendo. I’ve seen the way you look at her. I’m surprised Spike hasn’t.”

Crescendo snorted into his glass. “Spike.” He muttered derisively.

“What about him?”

Crescendo looked at his glass. “I think we need something a little stronger for this.” He left the couch on unsteady legs and made his way to the liquor cabinet. “Have you ever tried Appleachian Whiskey?”

“Las Pegasus, my sophomore year of college. I drank ten shots in ten minutes and woke up the next morning on the hotel bathroom floor. A zebra was braiding my mane and my best friend was in the shower with her new husband, the one she’d met at the bar just the night before.”

Crescendo chuckled as he unscrewed the bottle’s cap. “How are they these days?”

“I’m going to their vow renewal ceremony next month.”

He returned to the couch with two shot glasses of the burning liquid. “And the zebra?”

“We dated for eleven months. My parents were furious.”

The two teachers shared a slightly drunken laugh. Crescendo raised his glass. “To our youth.”

Cheerilee mirrored his action. “Where the hay did it go?”

They drained the glasses and winced as the hot liquid burned down their throats. Crescendo recovered first. “So… what were we talking about again?”

“Spike.”

“Right.” Crescendo immediately regretted not bringing a second shot with him, because the cabinet now looked very far away. “The lizard has informed me that he intends to ask for Rarity’s hoof in marriage.”

“Okay…?”

“And he wants me to give her away at the ceremony.”

“Oh? Oh!” Cheerilee looked down at her glass. “That is rough.”

“It shouldn’t be.” Crescendo lowered the shot glass and made to refill his brandy glass. “There’s no reason I should still be hung up on some mare I had a one night stand with back in college.”

“About as much reason I should have for still being hung up on a stallion that I didn’t start dating until after we drank a love poison.”

“…Come again?”

“Long story.” She held out her own glass for a refill.

“I just don’t understand it. I thought I had moved on, really. But then… I don’t know. That night Sweetie Belle first brought me to Ponyville, it all came rushing back.” He chuckled. “I’m a respected professor at Equestria’s premiere musical academy, I’ve been married, divorced, and have two children… that I know of.”

Cheerilee choked on her drink and tried to subdue the dueling laugh/cough that followed.

“I’ve lead a life, is the point I’m trying to make. I’m not some young stud anymore. But that night, when I looked at her and kissed her hoof… I was in college again. I was young.”

Cheerilee had finally calmed herself and she stared at the fabric on the couch. “I never had the best love life. Two or three serious relationships, but nothing that felt like they would last forever. Not until I met Macintosh Apple. He was everything I’d ever seen myself wanting in a husband; strong, a provider, good genes… and he was sweet. So very quiet and sweet. After the, ah, ‘incident’ involving your daughter and her friends, I took my chance and asked him out for real.”

“And how’d that go, if I may ask?” Crescendo lifted the bottle, saw it was empty, and pouted.

“Splendidly… for about two months. Then we just kind of… drifted apart, I guess. We never really made it public or serious. Every now and then I would send some hints his way that I was still interested. I would swoon in the audience when he sang with the Ponytones or I would ‘accidently’ bump into him at the market buying something a little saucy. Sometimes he would reciprocate, sometimes not. We were on one of those breaks when he met Fluttershy.”

“And he never looked back.”

Cheerilee peered into the dark liquid in her glass. “Not even once.” She drained the glass fully, considered smashing it, but settled on placing it on a nearby table. “I thought I could let him go, but I just can’t for some reason. If I had to guess, it would be that I saw him as my last chance.”

Crescendo finished the last drop of his own brandy and set the glass aside. “Last chance?”

“My last chance at having the family I’d always wanted. Of not being a childless old maid.”

Crescendo snorted and pulled himself toward her. “Last chance nothing. You, my dear, are in your absolute prime. You are a respected and vital part of your community, you are beloved by all who know you, and the beauty of your mind is outdone only by the rest of you.” The alcohol had made his tongue looser. He put a foreleg around her and pulled her into a hug. “You are what today’s youth would call a catch.”

Cheerilee unconsciously snuggled into the unicorn’s white fur. “And you, professor, are absolutely brilliant. You’re devilishly handsome, positively charming, and, if the two that currently exist are any indication, have the tendency to aid in the creation of absolutely incredible offspring. Any mare would be lucky to have you.”

Crescendo found himself lowering his muzzle into her mane and inhaling. “…'Lubam olet in campum florum aestivo die.’”

Cheerilee smiled. “’Tunc iter occubuitque eis sol calore.’”

Her understanding of his words and her response to them almost startled him. He pulled back and tilted her head to face his. He peered at her, almost studying her loveliness. "Where did you learn...?"

"It was my favorite class in school. And I was the president of the Ancient Unicorn Society my senior year."

"Huh. That’s funny.”

She raised an eyebrow. “What is?”

“…I have the strangest urge to kiss you right now.”

Cheerilee smiled and leaned forward. “Oh. That is funny.”

“Why?”

“Because right now I’m wondering why you haven’t yet.” She whispered, closing her eyes.

His lips met hers tentatively at first. She tasted sweet, and he knew not all of that was brandy.

She wrapped her hooves around his neck and pulled him in closer.

The two teachers sank down onto the couch, their embrace becoming more forward and passionate with each passing moment, their thoughts, doubts, and latent desires for those unreachable washed away by warm spirits and touches that were warmer still.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Lurking outside the cottage’s window, testing out his new disguise, the Changeling called Molt eavesdropped on the lonely pair.

He heard everything.

Comments

[Yami Vizzini]

And here I was about to head to bed.

I want to say that that's a lot colder than we usually see from Filthy Rich, but hey, what can one really do in a moment like that except keep a cool head and try to help out your family too? Staying alive can sometimes mean keeping more options open than a brief burst of outrage would....

Huh- was that just the jealousy talking or is Crescendo a bit of a speciesist deep down?

[Jade Ring]

5723464 Filthy's a business man, and a business man always tries to pick the winning side.

Probably the jealously. But alcohol does tend to bring out latent emotions in some folks...

[Dawn Flower]

Suri turning out to be DT's mother was an interesting Caveat. I actually suspected that she might be when I first saw Rarity takes Manehatten.

It's also amazing how in one chapter, I suddenly see Crescendo differently. I always thought that he was a nice guy, but his attitude and calling Spike a lizard quickly changed that.

Also

“…I have the strangest urge to kiss you right now.”

As I read Cheerilee and Crescendo's conversation, I could see this line coming.

[Spiritus Arcane]

And the Rich family confirmed for worst ponies. Also, Suri as DT's mom makes so much sense.

[TheBritishAlicorn]

5724599
the rich family ODDLY has my respect now...