Retired writer and graphic artist.
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Bored one night, Sunset Shimmer orders a pizza and invites Flash over to watch a movie. Flash recounts a story from his less-proud years as they wait for their food, but it seems to be taking a long time for their pizza to arrive.
Written before Rainbow Rocks came out.
Pre-read by Mattricole.
Edited by DragonShadow.
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I bet Flash enjoys horse porn too.
4823426
He would, wouldn't he?
4823426 I KNOW I DO!!!
4823426 I KNOW I DO!!!
4823426 I KNOW I DO!!!
I almost choked on blueberries... Flash is kinda dense and Sunset has PMS...
Headcanon: Sunset and human!Lyra know each other...
My dirty mind immediately said "soggy muffin". Don't google it. Also, Flash, are you sure you're talking about drinking a milkshake?
I have an unpleasant feeling that the lack of olives is somehow connected with the fact that this guy was zipping his pants when they saw him... Some kind of fetish, probably.
This was funny, and I think you nailed Sunset. And no one gives a shit about what I would think of Flash...
This is one funny FlashShimmer story!
Well. That was... certainly entertaining.
*grins and slowclaps* Bravo.
4823503
Soggy Muffin.... Who the hell came up with that, and why? Kids these days....
After seeing Spike with a soap-eating fetish, an olive one wouldn't surprise me.
4823516
Thanks. Yeah, Flash....
Sunset is kind of a hard girl to nail, but I do my best to make it happen. This marks my third time with her, and I think I'm getting better at nailing her every time.
4823525
4823775
Why, thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.
4823809
*Takes a bow* I do my best.
4824283
pl.vichan.net/sr/src/1s01hh7k.vichan.gif
4824283
Actually, there's a wikipedia article about it, that says that it was invented in Australia in 1960s... (I noticed that many things we perceive as new were already known long time ago...)
Btw, google search for "olive fetish" gave me a twitter account of someone who claims to be a "professional fetishist". I wonder if it's her on the avatar (I don't know which answer would be worse).
Bravo, this story made me laugh a lot.
They always forget the goddamn olives.
also, andthentheyallfuckedbecausefanfiction.jpg
4824283 You're very welcome. Please do more sometime.
Kind of random... And pretty funny.
Good fic, all in all.
4824386
Just a reminder that people have been doing stupid things since the beginning of time.
"Professional fetishist...." I wonder how much that pays?
4824688
Thank you kindly. I aim to entertain.
4824929
Yeah, they do.
And yeah, they do.
4825149
And a thanks to you as well. Always good to see pleased readers.
4825267
Oh yeah... The graffiti in Pompeii is another proof...
I guess if it paid much everyone would want to do that...
Now I want pizza
Brad. Braaaaaad!!!
wow. MORE OF THIS!
This was so...dude. THESE TWO! THESE TWO!
How the BUCK did they break up? And what a PUSSY trading in a beautiful Sunset for a cheesy Twilight.
Great stories. This is the most chill, and actually would be something I could see someone doing, fic I ever read.
4827512
). And yeah, writing true Slice of Life seems to be one of my stronger points. This was originally gonna be another "Nothing Happens," but, well, stuff happened.
Wow, really? I'm actually kinda surprised you read (and liked) this, considering it seemed that you didn't care much for either of these two. If you really want more, you can expect it in the future, as I rather like working with these two (probably due in part to my weakness for bad girls
4828435
Thanks! And you're very welcome. That "find the wormhole" guy was actually me a long time ago, while playing a space board game. One of my allies was under siege, and I told him to "find the wormhole, man," so he could come to my region of space and I could help him. Apparently, I said it in this breathy, really creepy way, and it became a running joke among my friends.
4829096 I like Sunset. She's got story potential. Flash just has plenty of stuff that sort of makes him look like a douchebag in the movie, but as Sunset's idiot spineless boyfriend? He becomes infinitely more likable.
I'm pretty sure I never said I disliked Sunset. She's awesome. I just don't like the movie's 'story' and anything FlashLight just comes off as horribly forced and contrived. Plus, who the HELL ships Orange and PURPLE!? That's like...disgusting!
Only the colorblind. And even then, I'm pretty sure most of them would still ship Flash with anyone else than Twilight.
4823503 you are a sick, dirty minded son of a bitch. And I love it!
4829697
Potential. That's why I like working with her. EQG's story had a lot of problems, yeah, and Flash works way better with Sunset than with Twilight, I've always felt.
Lol great slice of life story
This was very funny and well written, kudos on writing not only a good Sunset, but a pretty good Flash as well.
4830027
4830382
Thanks. Slices of life revolving around these two are something I quite enjoy writing. They're a bit hard to write, but fun to work with.
This. I love this. That is all.
4829832
At your service
If I could have had any part of this story different, I would have liked Flash's story to tie back into the present. Otherwise you have two disconnected stories, and one is literally filler for the other. The reader doesn't need to share into the waiting game with Sunset and Flash. Unless... you know, that was supposed to be some clever point.
Still, I enjoyed the heck out this. Look forward to reading more of your works, BS.
4840631
Yeah, uh, sure. Let's go with that.
Probably would've been better if someone or something from his story made an appearance later, yeah. That could've been pretty cool. I was pretty much just like, "They need something to do while waiting for the pizza, but I can't just say that they wait or it'll be boring. Better have something happen so the audience gets a sense that time is passing."
... huh, I guess making the audience wait kinda was the point. Can't claim it was clever, though.
Also, this is the moment when I suddenly realize that my initials are BS. Already been here for a year, though, and some people already know me as such. Oh well.
4840936
Ya know the more I mull it over, I think this story might be the best accidentally funny story I've ever read. Not, mind you, that it was poor in it's comedy.
The whole of it feels like a Kevin Smith story, with the reader both being on site with Flash Drive's flashback, and sitting in the apartment as this dorky Flash Sentry regales in great, animated detail his misadventure. There's also how Sunset Shimmer reacts, that doesn't come off Saturday morning villain. In fact, her general chillness is, well, refreshing.
There wasn't anything glaringly wrong with this story. It is comical how we killed time waiting for the story to end, then still came up short on the olives.
Lastly, my girlfriend mocks me, thinking I use the Internet to view 'Pony porn'. I usually roll my eyes and tell her it's called 'clopfic', but hey, she's the boss. My Sunset to her Flash. (I also dug how ambiguous your character's relationship is.)
4841291
Kevin Smith. You know, I can totally see the similarities, now. This is sorta his style, isn't it? What with almost the entire atmosphere being casual, and quite a lot of it just being made of up characters interacting in a way that doesn't really drive the plot forward (not that there's much plot here to begin with). It's a style that I've always liked, because (when done well) it comes off as very believable and true to life, but it's a tricky style to work with because you basically have to be able to make nothing of any consequence happen for a while and still make it entertaining without feeling out of place, which Kevin Smith does well. You've just made me realize that Kevin Smith has probably had quite an influence on my work.
Heh heh, what're you gonna do, right? And yeah, there really wasn't much to define just what the two meant to each other.
That was awesome.
I get the feeling Sunset was trying to get arrested just so she would have a story about going to prison too, (threatening Mop Jockey, literally kicking someone's door in) possibly to impress Flash on some twisted level, even if he was there when it happened. Then again, if she got away with slinging fireballs, I imagine she'd have to work pretty hard to get any attention from local law enforcement.
Sunset Shimmer might be a good protagonist for sandbox crime games, where the player typically gets ignored until they're blowing up cars and setting people on fire?
Damn.
4949373 GTA: equestria girls
Play as sunset and give people ugies still there cars kicking people in the nuts and piss on the drunked out djs
Flash... is interesting?
Sunset... is the world's biggest sardonic snark with a possible mild perv streak?
This is fantastic and screws with my world view hardcore.
Also going to echo the Kevin Smith sentiments.
5088309
Why thank you. I rather like doing things a bit differently. And yeah, it looks like Kevin Smith has had more of an impact on me than I realized.
Well, that was interesting.
Again, I have to say I love you make Flash actually kind of likable.
5089804
"Interesting" is probably a good word for this work, yeah.
Heh, yeah, I try to at least give him a little more characterization than he gets in canon. This pair gets more fun to work with every time I write about them.
5090100 Heh.
Awesome, on both counts; I look forward to seeing what you'll do if you do more like these.
you are so good. sir can you please tell us where you learned to write, your stories are too excellent. you, man, are Going Places; I suspect that some day you may even become Horse Famous.
After reading "Separate Ways", I had to read all of your other Sunset stories; your interpretation of her character is marvelous. Humanizing her while doing more to retain traits like her aloofness and manipulative streak that characterize her as a villain is something Meghan McCarthy would have done well to focus on more in Rainbow Rocks (which was still friggin' amazing; Sunset as protagonist and hero was a treat!). Fantastic job you've done with Sunset and Flash's personalities and relationship (oh god I'm going to tear up thinking about "Separate Ways"). Really, you're amazing.
Oh, hey, I got a couple typos for ya, if you care for them:
As though he were.
You meant either "more of the shake" or "more shake".
"his slammed cup down" should be either "he slammed his cup down" or "his cup slammed down", and "who's" should be "whose".
Tossing a twenty-dollar bill. (Generous tip for such crappy service.)
And, if I wanna get really nitpicky here, the title "Crust Busters 3" should be italicized.
you are so good. sir can you please tell us where you learned to write, your stories are too excellent. you, man, are Going Places; I suspect that some day you may even become Horse Famous.
After reading "Separate Ways", I had to read all of your other Sunset stories; your interpretation of her character is marvelous. Humanizing her while doing more to retain traits like her aloofness and manipulative streak that characterize her as a villain is something Meghan McCarthy would have done well to focus on more in Rainbow Rocks (which was still friggin' amazing; Sunset as protagonist and hero was a treat!). Fantastic job you've done with Sunset and Flash's personalities and relationship (oh god I'm going to tear up thinking about "Separate Ways"). Really, you're amazing.
[grammatical corrections listed here removed, as they have now been made]
5116907
First, thanks for pointing out those typos. Strangely enough, I seem to remember fixing some of those previously. Dunno why they were still there, but they've been fixed now.
And secondly... wow, thanks a ton. I didn't really learn to write anywhere, though. I've been writing stories since I was a kid and teaching myself as I went. Been writing for nineteen years, but most of my improvements came in the last five, after I really started focusing on writing. I haven't made much of an impact around here, but I don't write about the most popular subjects.
Sunset is one of my favorite characters to work with, these days. It took me a while to really refine and flesh out her character, since there wasn't a whole lot to work with back in Equestria Girls. It's been a bit tricky to make her genuinely likable without breaking her canon personality (too much). If there was one thing I ever aimed to do with her, it was to give her more depth, to portray her as more than just a fairly-simple antagonist. She has so much potential, and I aim to tap into that. Plus, pre-reformation, she's just so irreverent that she's a blast to write about. The details and feel of her relationship with Flash were tough to really figure out, given what we know about the two, but I think I've found a comfortable spot with stories like this one. Of course, we know it won't last.
I gotta give credit to DragonShadow, though, since he's the one who first made me appreciate Sunset Shimmer to the point where I started writing about her. If not for his excellent Sunset stories, mine likely wouldn't exist.
Thanks again. I may simply write whatever I want, but I do try to make it worth reading.
4830382
Agreed. This was a great slice of life story, and if I were to use an example of slice of life, this would be it. Hilarious little story you've got here, and I almost want a sequel called The Adventures of Flash and Sunset. Oh, the shenanigans that would ensue . . .
5293258
Thanks, man. Slice of life seems to be something I'm rather suited to. I do hope to write more stories about these two. In particular, I had an idea for a fratire-style story, as told by Flash, of him, Sunset, and the band going on a road trip to the EQG version of Las Pegasus. Shenanigans indeed.