• Member Since 10th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Sep 25th, 2017

Nightlock106


I enjoy spending my free time jotting down ideas for new stories, though most of them either go into the trash bin or are left unfinished. Nonetheless, I hope you all enjoy the works that I publish.

Comments ( 46 )

How many folders did you put it in?:twilightoops:

4820026 I saw it pop up every time.
I thought my computer was acting weird.

Comment posted by Troposphere deleted Aug 9th, 2014
Comment posted by Nightlock106 deleted Aug 9th, 2014
Comment posted by Stunt Monkey deleted Aug 9th, 2014

this so wrong but i enjoyed it. WHY?! :raritycry:

4821106 I'm afraid I can't answer that question without causing you to get mad at me.

4821123 The only thing that I thought of was that you might have a secret love for beastiality that you didn't know about until now.

4821126 *sigh* i think im gonna go with "i like human flutters very much" hahaha XD

...i dont like animals that way... i need my brain bleached -_-

(don't mind this confused reader, ha you write good, this story was good. bestiality, clop, or not, i hope to read more from you. more powah to yah buddy)

now, to find me that bleach...

4821154 Lol, I was just pulling your chain with that last comment. But I'm really glad that you enjoyed the story and I hope you enjoy some of my other writings as well! :pinkiehappy:

Upon reading the premise:
community.us.playstation.com/t5/image/serverpage/image-id/25613i2F37611ABBE957AF?v=mpbl-1
Upon reading the actual story:
twilight.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/140494618432.png
Which is too bad, because this could have been a very enticing story with such fetish marks (I'm kind of a butt/anal freak, and animal stuff gets me going too) so I was hopeful for this. But the execution was pretty lacking.
Biggest weakness is the pacing of the events that take place, especially the sexy moments. Things like Spike's penis jutting out, Fluttershy touching, those need to be given their own paragraphs to enunciate their importance, not just thrown in the middle or end of a paragraph.
Some things said in this story are stated in a very matter-of-fact manner. I would imagine that Spike would ask about the dog rutting Fluttershy in a very surprised manner (or even if he's not surprised, the narrative should stress the fact that "it's very taboo for humans to have sex with animals" with more emphasis than Shy nodding in a guilty manner).
And lastly, Fluttershy's rimjob starts at the beginning of the paragraph and she experiences an orgasm at the end of same paragraph. That makes it feel very short for the reader, to the point where it feels like it's over after it just started. You could easily stretch out that one orgasm across a full page, if not more.

Not trying to shit on your story, I just do see some potential, and I'm hoping this might help out a bit. Good luck with your future stories.

This really reminds me of jester

4822164 A lot of the things that I wrote for this story were kind of new to me in writing. This is the first story that I wrote that involved these kinds of fetishes so I'm still not that good at writing them, but I really do appreciate the advice. Hopefully next time I'll be able to make stories like this better.

Nice work! Thumbs up!:heart:

Comment posted by Knight Toland of Astora deleted Sep 28th, 2014

4825622 I don't know whether to laugh because of that video or feel insulted, so I'm going to do both. :rainbowlaugh: :raritydespair:

This story has taken my ability to even and made it it's bitch. :applecry:

Well, I'm probably not going to let Fluttershy put her tongue in my mouth anymore.

I really want to see the other girls have a turn with Spike!Dog, though.

Admit it, you want to see Rainbow Dash fuck a dog. Don't lie to yourself. :twilightangry2:

4822164
4823559

I'm well aware that a story with 2,291 words CAN be very enticing and, with the right choice of narrative and talent in storytelling, give plenty to the reader.

That said, with so many firsts in terms of experiences with writing certain things that this story provided, it's a considerable shame that it was essentially a muffin in a lunchbag of a child at school:

Seeing it being packed, it looks amazing. Then by lunch, after the bag's been crushed by other books in the backpack, the muffin itself, while wrapped to keep it flavorful and moist, has been crushed by other things in the lunchbag, it's deformed, broken, and above all else, compressed.

This story reminds me of my opinion of Flash Sentry: Even if someone doesn't like a new idea or path something takes... there's gotta be a starting point. The "guinea pig" to have lessons be learned of what to improve on, what to not pursue in future attempts, etc.

Sadly, it was this story, with what seemed like an awesome concept with plenty of "draw" to it in terms of readers... if only it was really given room to show what it could do. :ajsleepy:

4827112
>comparing this story to Flash Sentry
:twilightoops: That's kinda... harsh...
At least this story had a good initial concept. Flash was bad idea from the beginning

4827471
4827112
I agree with Cloperella. While I didn't do so well with writing this story, I think it's kind of harsh to compare it to Flash. I will admit that this story sucks, I'm not going to lie. I know that there are things I could've done better with this story. But like Cloperella said, I did have a good initial concept, I just didn't execute it properly.

4827471
4828729
If you're comparing it DIRECTLY to Flash, then it also takes on a whole new meaning. I'm comparing it to the CONCEPT Flash had, in that it was a new idea that they utilized in a way that didn't go over well with the audience, though I know several who either liked Flash, or like me, acknowledge his role being something that was a "necessity" to make Equestria Girls "movie-length" and not just a copy/pasting of the Nightmare Moon episodes.

Saying "Comparing it to Flash is harsh" is wrong: I compared it to how I viewed the IDEA of Flash, not Flash directly: It was several new ideas executed at once, that needed a scapegoat to use it on (FluttershyxSpikedog). A Flash Sentry by any other name, angers the same bronies. :ajsleepy:

4829082
...what?
His role was not a "necessity" to make it movie length. His role was to be a boyfriend character for the main hero, so that way girls have to buy his toy too in order to "complete the set" so to speak. And that is a bad idea from the beginning whose execution made it even worse.
They could have done literally anything else to make the movie feature length if Flash wasn't a requirement. They could have made it where Twilight meets herself in that world and teaches her about the magic of friendship (since she's never met the other friends) and that would have been a better subplot.

4829082 Okay, I understand what you are trying to say. Whether you like the story or not is none of my business. But, I don't really think you should get pissed because I didn't do so well on writing something that I haven't written before. I like to try new ideas and this just so happened to be one of them. Like I said before, I know the story isn't good, but that's only because I don't have a lot of experience writing that kind of stuff yet. It takes time for any writer to get good at anything they try to write.

4829112
That's a very "business-like" mindset in terms of a sole reason with regards to why his character was put in... It's WRONG, entirely at that, but I still respect the business-like mindset.

They needed something to make it truly differ from the themes of the show. As for the idea of "meeting herself", that's stupid: You can't make that into a sub-plot, not to mention that if she didn't have friends at that point, she sure as hell wouldn't see a reason to make them. "You need to protect my world and yours from Sunset Shimmer before she-blah-de-blah-de-blah!"

A romance sub-plot was the best thing they could do in order to not fully derail from the main theme they had set up, which was "get the crown". They even set up a second sub-plot of "have six "people" who resemble your friends, and become friends with them again" which served to waste more time than Flash ever did. Regardless, this is the last I'll talk about this, since this isn't a Flash Sentry discussion page, it's a page relating to this story. If you wish to discuss it further, I would prefer PMs.

4829127
Alright, I'll give you that. Again, though, I really DON'T hate what you've made! I was just justifying, for Cloperella's comment, why the story was what it was. Your story is a far cry from "THE... WORST... POSSIBLE... THING!", and I recognize that. That said, in terms of what can be salvaged from it, it shows how much potential you have!

Once you gain experience, I'd love to see the stories you put forth for your readers. You may think I hated it, but if a story shows the potential to be realized, well...

... It tells me who I need to keep an eye on.

Story Contains: beastiality, rimjob, anal, anal fingering, and knotting

I didn't read your story, I just wanted to thank you for the warning.

4825622
Me: Oh boy anouther clop fic with a catchy title. Wait what's this mature for?!*Scroll scroll scroll*

Hey I remember that guy from spongebob!

*Five minutes of laughing later*

My God! I must read this fic to understand the sheer undescrible pain and/or pleasure that this poor/lucky man/women/dolphin , experinced!

And that is how this fic ended up on my read later list.

Yours Truly, The Cake Devil.

P.S. What...what's knotting?

Dear Nightlock Wildvine.

Huh, well that was...rushed. Now please don't get me wrong, it was a decent story and I'm sure as hell gonna up vote this. Yes I will admit, I did indeed cringe a little bit at cretin parts, but I'd compare it to a shot, it's a sharp needle that the doc is shoving into your body yes and you brace for a sharp pain. Then you feel a slight pinch and your done.

In short a decent read, but not the erotipaloza I was expecting,

Yours Truly, The Cake Devil.

4832287 I still need to work on my pacing for stories like this. I'm better at doing longer romance stories where there I can do more build up with the characters. But when I want to make a short one-shot, I still manage to over rush it in order to get it done. Though, to be perfectly honest, I thought that this story sucked, and I'M the one who wrote the damn thing. But, it managed to somehow gain it's success, if you would call it that. But nonetheless, I'm glad you liked it, despite it not being what you were expecting.

4832352

Dear Nightlock Wildvine.

Well then, now Ill just have to take a look at your other pieces now won't I? And the ...sensual VinyalxOctie picture is only helping the case. But in all honest I'm not really complaining there was a lack of clop, in fact I'm rather glad if not a little surprised. These types of stories arrre, not exactly my cup of tea(in fact I can count the number of clop fics I've read on a single hand). Quite honestly it was the name that drew me here, and Priest Reverend Albert's post that made me stay. So if anything take my criticism with a grain of salt, after all, I only have two stories to your ten, and zero of mine be clop fics(I might get around to writing one if I could stop blushing and giggling like a god damned school girl).

Sincerely Yours, The Cake Devil.

4832709 I promise you that you will find more clop to my name the further you look at my stories. So far I only have four stories that aren't clop and six (soon to be seven) stories that are.

Half way decent story and the only EG story with Fluttershy and spike that I've found. Great concept, I think you should make more. Have a thumbs up for making this.

You might want to consider submitting this story to my little fetish group's contest they are having.

Well...that happened.

Ah, i've been hoping deep down for a story like this. Your fic caught my attention immediately and then it delivered.

Most excellent. :moustache:

Woa....A bestiality fiction.
What did...i just...oh fuck...why i just read...

There could have been a bit more of a reaction from Fluttershy when she heard Spike talk. That bit just seemed unconvincing. The language could have flowed a bit better at parts, as well, but I didn't feel like it was bad, really. Otherwise, great descriptions and nice pace for a quickie!

a little short. good, but short.

...I'm mad i read this.

Knots don't normally come out just like talking about it. :derpyderp1:

5617824 Not that I would know for sure, but I'd imagine it depends on the size of the knot and the hole. Seeing as dog spike barley comes up to human Fluttershy's shin I'd believe it.

7362229 Ehh, the dog's size isn't always a valid indicator of, uhh, equipment size. I've seen Chihuahua more hung than Great Danes, but you do have somewhat a point overall.

Even still it's kinda moot I guess. I have no clue why I said that comment. I must have not read "after a long wait"

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