• Published 15th Apr 2012
  • 1,986 Views, 42 Comments

Patchwork Pony - Drax99



A monster pony wakes up with no memory, and is befriended by the CMC.

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Monster Bash

Soon me and the other crusaders were outfitted in full riot armor, courtesy of a refitting spell that Sweetie had learned from her sister. It even made room for my wings as I used them to hover at the window. “Um, guys, the crowd is getting ugly. Mister Filthy is headed for the door!”

At that moment, we heard a loud thumping on the door of the library, as we all collectively jumped. Everypony looked at the others, none wanting to be the one to answer the door.

“We know you are in there, and you are hiding that- THING!” The muffled voice of the town businesspony boomed through the wooden walls. “Twilight Sparkle, just send the monster out so we can deal with it, and nopony needs to get hurt. There is no use trying to protect that thing!” Still, nopony moved, each waiting for the next to act. More pounding at the door echoed in the cavernous library, and the murmurs of the crowd were starting to leak through.

Suddenly a scratching gait was heard, as all eyes turned to the purple assistant making his way bleary eyed across the room. “Don’t anypony exert yourselves. Not like I’m sleeping or anything. I guess I’ll get the door as always...” grousing under his breath, Spike reached the door before anypony could react to stop him, and threw the portal open.

“Library is closed, please return all books in the morning during normal business hours. Thank you for visiting the Golden Oaks Library,” *yawn* “Have a nice evening.”

Before he could slam the door closed, a brown hoof shot out to hold it open.

“Hey, what gives? I said we’re closed!” Spike blinked, then rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he peered up at the angry stallion. Turning around, he yelled across the room. “Twilight! I think it’s for you.”

“Twilight Sparkle!” Barked the brown earth pony, “I do not know, nor do I care as to why you are sheltering that thing in here, but we demand you hand it over so that the citizens of Ponyville can enact justice for what it has done.” Giving an indignant nod, Filthy Rich glared at the creature in question. In response, all three of us crusaders closed ranks to defend our friend.

“You ain't gonna touch a hair on our new friend’s head, mister!” I flared my wings threateningly.

“Yea, he ain't hurt nobody, an anythin yer little tattlin’ nag of a daughter told ya is a lie!” Applebloom stomped a hoof in defiance.

“Um, yes! And she deserved to get her flank wooped!” Sweetie Bell finished. Me and ‘Bloom just facehoofed.

“Shaddap Sweetie!” I glared at her. “You are not helping.”

“Sorry.” She wilted.

With a sigh, Twilight took the lead and stepped up to the door. “Look Mr. Rich, I know he may look unusual, but I assure you this stallion is not any sort of monster. He’s been through alot of bad things, and just wants to be left alone.” She glared past the stallion at the pink filly behind him, who cringed away from the stern librarian. “I am sure that anything that happened was just a misunderstanding, and he was only trying to protect these girls who have befriended him.”

Huffing in response, the businesspony met the stern gaze with one of his own. “Nonsense. He is a menace, and a danger to the community. He attacked my daughter unprovoked, and needs to pay for his actions. Now I do not care who you are, or what authority you think you have, but this is a criminal matter and you have no right to stand in the way. Now hand him over to us, or criminal charges will be pressed against you for impeding justice!”

Twilight just raised an eyebrow and put on her best skeptic face. “Justice? From here, what I see is an angry mob. A mob that is unlawfully assembled in front of an official government building.” Clearing her throat, the librarian went into lecture mode. “Page twelve, paragraph three of the Ponyville municipal code states that ‘No organized gathering of ponies shall take place without at least forty-eight hours posted notice at the town hall’. Also the penal code states that ‘No group of ponies can enact the capture or detainment of a lawful citizen of Equestria, without first being deputised by a royally appointed sheriff or judge of the presiding municipality.’ In that case, Ponyville. And since I know for a fact that Sheriff Longarm is on a fishing trip at Rainbow Falls, that leaves only Magistrate Bigwig and myself as having the power to deputise.”

Raising an eyebrow of his own, the wealthy stallion smiled. “What do you think, Goldmane?” All eyes turned to a rather well dressed and equally well known lawyer in the employ of Filthy Rich.

“Yes, while the ‘Princess’ is technically right in the letter of the law, there is still the question of the creature’s origin, and citizenship. In addition, due to his recent behavior and proximity to the Everfree forest, he can be classified as an unknown threat, and therefore the Homestead Preservation Act of 989AN clearly states that ‘Any community may take whatever measures deemed necessary by the majority to preserve and defend itself against an unknown, magical, natural, or supernatural threat.’ So in that regard, since we do not know the true nature of the creature, the majority rule is in effect, and we are allowed to do whatever is necessary to protect Ponyville.”

Twilight narrowed her eyes at the overly-proper speaking stallion. She hated lawyers, and had begged Celestia to abolish them many times. Much to her disappointment, the solar diarch always had a perfectly reasonable argument as to why they were necessary. Evil, slimy, but necessary.

“He is not unknown. He is a pony who has been badly mistreated. And what’s more, he is under MY protection!” practically yelling, Twilight widened her stance, and dared the mob to cross her.

“Very well then, Twilight. Not even royalty is exempt from the law.” The businesspony managed to make the word sound like a curse as he glared back. “If you will not hand him over, then you are in violation of our rights and the safety of this community, and will be arrested and tried as well for obstruction of justice.”

Turning to the now silent crowd, Filthy smirked. “My fellow citizens of Ponyville, you know what must be done! Be careful not to hurt the children, but bring the fugitives to justice!” Raising his hoof in the air, he was greeted with a mighty cheer.

“Oh horseapples.” Twilight said dryly, before ducking back inside the library and bolting the door. A quick spell shielded the entrance from the angry mob outside, but the roar still reached them as they began pounding on the entrance.

“Girls, I don't know how long I can hold them off. You gotta sneak out the back and make a break for it! If you can reach the train station, you can get Patches to Canterlot, and tell Princess Celestia what is happening.” Peering out the window, she saw the normally peaceful ponies shouting angrily, and some were even throwing things.

“Quickly, use the cloak, and run for it! I’ll make and illusion to throw them off.” A wave of her horn caused the crowd outside to gasp as her magic created an image of Patches flying off from the balcony.

I didn't need to be told twice. Grabbing the confused Sweetie Belle, I nodded to Applebloom and shot a look to Patches as we hauled flank towards the cellar door. It was a little known fact that a certain club of crusaders had tried their hooves at tunnel digging, and managed to connect the cellars of both the Golden Oaks library and Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie Pie had been in on the excavation, although Twilight was rather surprised at having the wall of her laboratory collapse as she was in the middle of some experiment. We told her the fur would grow back, but she was so angry she made us close up the tunnel. Luckily, Pinkie talked her into adding a door instead, in case she ever needed to sneak into the bakery for a late night cookie craving.

That mare is crazy about ginger snaps. Crazy, I tells ya!

So as I grabbed the key from the hiding place that we weren't supposed to know about, the others cleared the table from in front of the hidden entrance. I deftly turned the key, and Applebloom pulled the heavy ring opening the door. With a quick look around, I make sure everypony is with us, before leading the way in. At least, I tried to, only to get a snout full of pink tail.

“Oh, sorry Scootaloo, I was just making sure the lamp was working.” Pinkie said to me over her shoulder, a glowing lantern in her mouth. I hadn't even seen her follow us down the stairs, let alone how she got in front of us. “Follow me, and we can get there without bumping into any trolls or goblins!”

Looking back at the others, I just got a confused shrug from Applebloom and Sweetie, while Patches just tilted his head. It was Pinkie Pie, so I just shrugged back and began to follow. Soon enough, we were swallowed by the tunnel, and the door was swung shut behind us with a click, as the lock fell into place. I knew from experience that the door was now covered with an illusion, and the lock would be unpickable, except by a unicorn that knew it was there. I tossed the only key to Applebloom, who tucked it into her bags with a knowing grin. CMC Locksmiths, Yay!

We all kept quiet as we followed the eerie bluish glow of the magic lantern that outlined Pinkie’s impossibly poofy tail and mane. I stifled a snicker at the memory of the time we set out to prove whether it was actually made of cotton candy. It’s not. In fact, it tastes kinda gross, and smells funny from all the things she keeps in there. I’m really glad we didn't get a cutie mark at it as well.

Soon enough the pink poofy pony paused, and we waited for the jingle of her own keys, most likely also hidden in her mane. The door cracked open, and the warmer light of electric lamps flooded in as we stepped into the storage cellar of the local bakery. We quickly filed out, among the stacks of flour and barrels of other goods. The sweet smell of sugar mingled with the mustiness of underground storage, bringing a grin to our faces. We made it out!

“Okay, now the kids are probably asleep, so try to keep it down!” Pinkie stage whispered, nearly at full volume herself. We all rolled our eyes, as she was louder than the three of us, and Patches still couldn't talk at all.

“Where are we gonna go anyway?” Bloom asked, and the rest of us all nodded in agreement, deferring to the older pony.

“Umm, I dunno. I am used to hiding things, not ponies. I’ve never had a monster pony emergency before!” Pinkie shrugged.

Oh, I know, we can hide him in the Command Center! We have been hiding him there for a while now already.” I chimed in. This got a quiet cheer from my friends, and Pinkie started darting around putting supplies into her bags.

“Okay girls, I think we have all the supplies we are gonna need to hide from the ponies in town until Twilight calms down that angry mob.” Pinkie grinned, and handed each of us saddle bags to gather supplies.

“Umm, Pinkie? What kinda party supplies are these?” Sweetie asked as she held up what looked like Nightmare Night costumes. I recognized them from that time I found the Cakes having their special party.

Shooting across the room to slam the closet shut, Pinkie put on a manic smile as she sweated bullets. “Ah, heh heh... Those are special party supplies for super special parties and... I’lltellyouwhenyou’reolder!”

“Awww...” All three of us whined, while Patches just cocked an eyebrow at the pink mare as she quickly locked the closet with a key.

“Really?” Rasped somepony, causing us to all jump. We all turned to the sound, and found Patches rubbing his throat.

“Patches! You kin talk!” Applebloom stated the obvious.

“Kinda. Hurts though...” he rasped out, before going silent.

“Yay!” All three of us Crusaders yelled out before being shushed by Pinkie.

“Here, have one of these!” Pinkie hoofed over what looked like a piece of candy. “These are my extra special, super medicated, throat healing cough drops! I used them to make my throat feel better after I wear it out from singing all day.” Her smile suddenly went serious. “Party throwing is serious business, but it takes it’s toll on a pony.”

Sucking on the candy, we saw Patches’ eyes light up, and he nodded happily, but didn't try talking yet. It looked like whatever was in the candy was working.

“Yep, they are all natural, herbal, and legal in several regions, including Los Pegasus, and Colterado.” Pinkie beamed as she nodded vigorously.

“Ooh, can we have some?” I asked, hovering in the air, while my friends chimed in as well.

“Sorry kids, but some of the ingredients are not really good for fillies. Also, they give you the wicked munchies, and we can only carry so much food.” We all groaned at this, but shared a glance, knowing what our next crusade would be. Cutie Mark Herbalists, yay!

“So, kin we go now? This place is starting to smell like Zecora’s special room now.” Applebloom asked. I was starting to get a bit antsy sitting still myself.

“Yepperooni! Lemme make sure the coast is clear, and we can make or escape!” In a flash, Pinkie was gone, up the steps, and just as fast we heard her voice drifting down again. “All clear, let’s put some hustle in our bustle!”

“What’s a bustle?” I asked, and Applebloom just shrugged back.

Sweetie looked like she was about to answer, raising her hoof and opening her mouth, then suddenly changed her mind. “You don’t wanna know.” She whispered, shaking her head, before trotting up the steps. Me and AB shared a look, and shrugged before we followed her.

Usually if Sweetie didn't want to talk about something, it was best for everypony’s sanity that it went unsaid. She was the opposite of Pinkie Pie, who said all sorta things that just plain hurt your sanity to hear.

As we made our way outside, trying not to make much noise in the riot gear we were still wearing, we couldn't help but notice that Pinkie had somehow changed into a form fitting bodysuit, inexplicably torn, with a bandanna around her head, holding her normally poofy hair in check. It reminded me of the time that Twilight had gone all crazy about Tuesday, and kept babbling about ponies from the future. Why Pinkie was wearing it brought up even more questions. But again, the less asked, the saner we all remained. ‘Because Pinkie Pie’ was sort of a mantra around Ponyville.

“Alright everypony, let's move single file, keep to the shadows, and stay quiet! Follow me.” Pinkie once again lead the way, and we followed.

Suddenly, a cat meowed from a nearby trashcan, earning a glare from the mare. “I SAID QUIET!” she yelled at the top of her lungs. We all froze, looking around for a response from the surrounding buildings. After a moment, none came, and the cat padded off with a quiet mew. “Oops, sorry!” Pinkie quietly apologised. We all just rolled our eyes and continued following.


Most of the way through town was uneventful, with most ponies caught up in the mob and out chasing us down. Thankfully, Twilight must have lead them on a wild chase away from us. Our luck held until we were just leaving town, when somepony spotted us from a nearby hill, and sent up a flare to alert the town. Stupid unicorns and their stupid magic.

“I found them! Everypony come quick!” The amplified voice of the pony echoed off the last buildings at the edge of town. We looked at each other in shock, unsure what to do at first.

“On my back!” Patches gasped out, kneeling down. Me and Applebloom jumped up, while Pinkie picked up Sweetie Belle, before we all bolted. In a flash we were off, running at speeds that would make even Rainbow Dash proud.

“Huff, huff. Gotta get to the trees!” Pinkie huffed out, keeping up with Patches, grin on her face. I heard she once outraced Dash, so it made me wonder how fast we were going if she was already out of breath. Then again, carrying half grown fillies probably didn't help.

“Wheeehooo! Ride ‘em Patches!” Applebloom cheered, and I answered with a cheer of my own. Sweetie just sorta whimpered as she held onto Pinkie’s mane for dear life. I just grinned and threw my head back, wings out, and marveled at the feel of the wind as it whipped past.

It wasn't long before the trees of Sweet Apple Acres were in sight, and we cheered at the sight. The townsfolk were left behind, although they were no doubt on their way. We had to get lost and hide before they caught up.

We almost made it too. Out of nowhere, there was a flash of blue, and I was flying through the air, Applebloom right behind me.

“I’ll save ya squirt!” I heard the voice of our savior and groaned, before landing in a tumble and having the wind knocked out of me.

As I got to my hooves, trying to see straight, I groaned again at what I saw. Facing off was Patches and my own personal hero, and unofficial sister, Rainbow Dash. Both already had bloodied muzzles, and were growling at each other, pawing the ground like enraged bulls. Pinkie was trying to help Applebloom to her hooves, while Sweetie hid behind a tree.

“Dash!” I tried to yell, but was too winded to yell loud enough. I went unnoticed, as the two powerhorses let out battle cries and charged.

Both met with flared wings and lowered heads. Dash barely missed getting impaled by the metal horn on Patches head as they collided. Dash’s speed met Patches’ size and power with a mighty crack, and both bounced back in a daze. The flier’s years of experience recovering from crashes showed as she recovered almost immediately, launching herself at her foe again. Part of me wanted to cheer her on, as she shot forward, turning at the last moment to land a vicious double-hooved buck to Patche’s still recovering form. Her inertia overcame his mass, and he was sent flying backwards into a nearby tree. Everypony watching cringed as the tree splintered, and the crown collapsed on top of the massive pony.

“Yea! That’s how we do it in Cloudsdale!” Crowed the victorious mare. My heart swelled with pride, before I remembered she had just beat the snot out of my newest friend.

“Rainbow Dash!” I yelled out, trying to get her attention. She turned to grin at me, running a hoof through her mane, and looking incredibly cool. I started to grin again, but stopped as I saw the branches of the nearby tree move. “Watch out!”

My warning came too late, as the tree launched in her direction, and she was knocked clean off her hooves, with only a few stray blue feathers marking the spot she had once stood. A massive roar brought my attention back to the rising form of patches, his horn and eyes glowing a scary red. Blood looked like it was dripping from his muzzle, until I realized that it seemed to be flowing upwards and back into his mouth and nose, while the wounds healed themselves. Again, the earth shattering roar came forth from his toothy maw, as his body seemed to ripple and change. With a flash of green fire, my friend disappeared, and in his place stood something out of a nightmare.

It was a changeling, with the head of a dragon, and the body a pony the size of Big Macintosh. His eyes were glowing green now, as his horn glowed the same with a flickering light like a living flame. The wings flexed, not insectoid like a normal changeling, but webbed and draconic like his head. This was my newest friend, and one of the few ponies I had ever been close to, and at that moment he scared the hay outta me.

Another roar was cut short as a prismatic missile slammed into him and knocked him flat, only to slide on his back until they both ran out of momentum. The sounds of hooves on chitin rang out as my personal hero rapid fired strikes against my newest friend with a loud flurry of sound. It was like the world’s biggest woodpecker was assaulting the world's most pissed off tree in a fight for supremacy. I really gotta say I was torn over who should win. Finally the fight changed venues as Dash was launched with a roar from the monster pony. Green fire erupted, and shot her smoking away from him with a sound like a roamare candle, sending the pegasus flying away in a ball of scorched feathers. I admit it, I reached over and grabbed some of the popcorn that Pinkie was munching on, as did my other two friends.

One does not question the popcorn the pink one produces, one merely learns to enjoy it as long as the spectacle lasts.

The spectacle didn't last long, as Patches regained his hooves, only to be assaulted anew by the feathery projectile. However, this time he was prepared, and my esteemed mentor was met by a wall of hoof, stopping her progress cold.

Can you tell I have been studying creative writing with Twilight? She says, if you are going to write an action journal, you need to know how to write action. And lemme tell you, I am all about action!

Ahem, anyhay... as Rainbow Dash staggered to her hooves, I saw a very pissed off Patches stomping over to finish the job. Considering the fact that both of them looked ready to scrap for several more rounds, and we had angry villager to evade, I figured the better part of something, something... Yea, I had to stop them before they killed each other. Pinkie was too busy writing up what looked like a scorecard, and my other two friends were munching popcorn. It was up to me to do that something.

“STOP!” I hovered in the space between the two combatants, clearly in both fields of view, and held out my hooves to stop them.

“Outta the way, Squirt! I need to smash this bug!” Dash yelled, her eyes never leaving her opponent.

“Down, Must protect you!” grunted my multicolored protector. Well, my formerly multicolored protector. Okay, my other, formerly multicolored protector... You know what I mean!

“No!” I yelled, slowly drifting to the ground as my wings began to tire. “You are both my friends, and I can't let you hurt each other!”

“What are you talking about, kid? I’m trying to save you from this monster!” Rainbow Dash stopped, falling to her own haunches, and tilting her head.

“What?” Patches stopped as well, although not as eloquently. He too sank to his haunches, erupting into green flames and returning to his normal ponylike state.

“You are both my friends. Patches is trying to get away, and we are helping him.” I cried out in frustration. “Rainbow Dash, you gotta help us. He’s a good pony, and hasn't hurt anypony. You gotta help us get him to safety so we can hide.”

“Yea Dashie, he’s totally a good pony. Twilight says he’s totally cool, and mistreated. We gotta help him until she can get the Princesses to step in and declare him a citizen or something.” Pinkie finally stepped in and tried to help. “Besides, I haven't had a chance to throw him a welcome to Ponyville party, and everypony deserves to at least have one party before they get violently lynched and hanged! It’s like, in the Equestrian Declaration of Rights, or something!”

I’m pretty sure all of us, even Patches and Rainbow Dash, looked at Pinkie Pie, before collectively rolling our eyes.

“P-p-p-please?” Pinkie went into weapons-grade cute mode, with quivering lip and teary eyes. Not even Rainbow Dash, as hardcore and cool as she is, can withstand such an assault.

With a bone weary sigh, Dash relented. “Fiiine! If Pinkie says you’re cool, then I guess you’re cool.” Stepping back, and resuming a more relaxed pose, the pegasus cocked a skeptical eyebrow at her opponent. “But it you make one false move, I’mma curbstomp your sorry flank!”

In response, Patches merely snorted, and nodded, still maintaining a fighting stance, before turning to look at us. At our happy smiles, the tension melted out of the big goofball, and he grinned his terrifying smile. Both Pinkie and Dash flinched back at the show of fangs, but the three of us Crusaders just cheered at our friend.

“Crusaders, and company,” Applebloom nodded to the two non-members in our midst, getting nods in return, “Saddle up, and move out!” And just as if we had practiced it, all three of us lept onto a waiting adult, and prepare to ride. I hopped onto Rainbow Dash, Applebloom mounted Patches, while Sweetie Belle resumed her position atop Pinkie Pie. As one, we cheered as our steeds reared back, before bolting off into the forest of apple trees.


“Oh ponyfeathers! They already beat us here, and it looks like they are waiting to ambush.” Dash flew back to where we were hiding in the trees, after flying ahead to scout.

“How did they know where to find the clubhouse anyway?” Sweetie pondered.

“Hate to break it to ya Sweetie, but it’s not exactly a big secret. Remember Applejack used to hang here when she was a filly, before we took over.” I explained, getting a defeated look from my friend.

“Well we can’t hide here. Where else can we go?” Pinkie chimed in, bouncing in place. Ooh, ooh, I know! We can hide out in the Library!”

“Uhh, Pinkie, that is where you just escaped from, isn't it?” Dash tilted her head at the pink mare.

“Exactly! Nopony would expect us to return to the scene of the crime!” Pinkie crowed, grinning ear to ear.

“It’s too risky. Even if it was safe, we would be spotted sneaking back into town.” Pinkie wilted at this, her smile fading a bit.

“Ah know! We kin hide out in mah family barn.” Applebloom suggested. “There’s hay, and apples, and plenty o’ room!”

“Yea, and we are already almost there, it’s perfect!” I crowed. I mean, cheered. Shut up.

In moments we were on the run again, headed to safety, warmth, and some yummy food. I gotta tell you, there is nothing like ending your day with a belly full of apples from Applebloom’s farm. Spending the night with friends is nice too.

“Everypony inside, I think the coast is clear. I’m gonna go tell AJ what’s going on while you guys get comfy.” Dash waved us in, before flitting off toward the farm house.

Inside, we quickly found comfortable hiding spots among the hay, and a barrel of apples was hoofed out. Pinkie even managed to find a small keg of cider, although we were all disappointed to find out it was non-alcoholic.

“Sorry girls, but I think I cleaned out all the good cider last month. Gotta have the good stuff for my extra special grown up parties!” Pinkie smiled, as she handed out mugs. “But to make up for it, I brought cupcakes!” and as promised, the treats appeared from her mane by way of the special magic that is Pinkie Pie.

Trust me, if it was anypony else, I would never eat anything pulled out of somepony’s mane, but residents of Ponyville quickly learn to take whatever the party pony gives you, and enjoy it with a smile. Those that don’t, regret it. One does not question the pink mare, one only accepts and is thankful that her insanity is not contagious.

“Girls, we have a problem.” Dash called out from the rafters as she flew in the hayloft. “Applejack and Big Mac are not home. Granny says they went to join the lynching, and are looking for us with the rest of the mob.”

“Yeah, those Apples do love a good lynching!” Pinkie piped up.

“Hey! That mah family yer talkin bout!” Applebloom spoke up, indignantly.

“Well it’s true! All that singing about her racist barn, and those white robes she was sewing up...” Pinkie shot back.

“The song was “Raise This Barn!” Applebloom yelled back, getting rather riled. “And them were ghost costumes for nightmare night!”

“I dunno, she really didn't like zebras. And there was this one time, I swear she called Twilight the H-word!” Pinkie and Dash both shared a serious look, before both broke out in laughter.

“That's not funny!” AB huffed, and stomped her hoof.

“What’s the H-word?” Sweetie Belle asked, looking lost as usual.

Both adults stifled their laughs and tried to give a straight face. “We will tell you when you are older!” they both chimed in together.

“Seriously, squirt. We are just joking.” Rainbow Dash suddenly became serious. “We know your family would never be the kind of ponies to hate somepony without reason.”

“Yeah! Your sister is probably just worried that some bad pony is gonna be mean to you. I’m sure they just mean well.” Pinkie finished, before snickering. “Racist Barn...” Laughing, she trotted away, rolling her eyes.

Through all this, I couldn't help but notice Patches looking confused, right up until his eyes went wide, and his ears went flat against his head. I’ve spent enough time watching marks, err, other ponies, to know he was sensing something bad about to happen. Maybe he had some sorta super hearing, with all the other stuff he could do, but it made me pay attention.

“Guys, I think Patches wants to say something!” All chatter stopped, as we turned to the only stallion in the room.

Looking worried, he swallowed, and nodded his head. “Ponies. Many ponies, outside. Angry. Smell fire. Fire bad.” Slowly he rasped out the words, clearly costing him dearly to speak, but his voice growing stronger with each word.

And then we could all hear it, the roar of an angry mob.

“Oh no! The not-party ponies are back!” Pinkie stated the obvious.

“We gotta distract them. Pinkie, you take Sweetie and Applebloom, I’ll take Scootaloo. We split up, and lead them off so Patches can sneak out when it’s safe.” Dash took charge, as the crowd outside got louder.

“Wait, I wanna stay with Patches. AB and Sweetie have family out there, but nopony is waiting for me in the crowd, and you can both go faster with only one of us each.” I cried, stepping away from my idol. The momentary look of confusion hurt, but I knew it was the right thing to do. “Besides, Patches doesn't know the town, and won’t know where to hide.”

“What? No! There is no way I am leaving you behind, squirt. Now hop on my back and hold on tight. We gotta fly!” The pegasus looked serious, and crouched down like a coiled timberwolf.

“Nuh-uh! You guys go. I’m staying with patches. He’s my newest friend, and I won't leave him hanging. You understand, don't you Dash?” I pulled out the puppy eyes of doom, and cranked it to full blast. I could see her heart breaking, as she was torn between leaving me or forcing me to leave someone. I knew she would understand.

“Oh ponyfeathers! Fine. Meet up at the train station. There won’t be anypony there this late, and we can maybe sneak aboard the next train to Canterlot.” Turning to Patches, she glared at the stallion. “You take care of this filly. If anything happens to her, what that mob wants to do to you is nothing compared to what I will do.” Patches sternly nodded in reply, getting a return nod from Dash.

“Wheee! C’mon cousin, let’s run!” Pinkie tossed AB onto her back, while Sweetie Belle jumped on Dash. Just as they were about to take off, there came a banging on the barn door.

“We know you’re in there! Come out, and let the children go!” Filthy Rich’s voice came from outside, joined by shouts from the crowd.

“What in tarnation? What are you ponied doin on mah property? An what the hay are you doin with mah barn?” Applejack’s voice rang out, quieting the mob a bit.

“Now’s our chance, you go out the back door, Pinkie, I’ll take the loft!” And in a gust of wind and hay, she was aloft, and out the hayloft doorway.

“Hang onto your mane bow!” And in another impossibly fast blur, Pinkie was out the back door, letting it slam loudly behind her.

Then it was just me and Patches, as we heard the commotion get louder outside.

“There they go! After em!” Somepony shouted, and I heard the thunder of hooves charging off.

“Wait! It’s a trick, like last time.” We realized that not everypony had left, as Mr. Rich’s voice rang out. “You, and you, go around back and check where the pink one came from. You, gimme that torch!”

I quickly ran over to bar the door that Pinkie had used, just in time to hear something land in the loft above. Patches reared back, letting out a whinny, before stomping the ground loudly.

“See, I told ya the rat was still in the barn! Now we just stand back and wait for them to escape.”” The businesspony cackled.

“Mah barn! What the hay is wrong wit you?” Applejack yelled, before a loud crack and a thud sounded.

“Ow! You crazy mare! I’d say that you would pay for that, but it seems I already owe you for one barn. Maybe we will call it even and I won’t have to sue you for assault!” There was the sound of a scuffle, and the sound of the stallion’s voice came back. “What is wrong with you? Yougo through at least one new barn a year, so what do you care if we have to burn one down to stop that thing? It could have hurt somepony. It could have hurt your sister!” The sound of spitting could be heard as the crackle of flames grew louder above us.

“Hey, woman, you even used to sing a Luna damned song about razing your barn every year!”

“The song is Raise This Barn, as is to raise up and build, but a greedy pony like you wouldn't understand anything like that.” The deep voice of Big Macintosh rang out, causing the group to gasp. He was a pony of few words, so everypony listened.

“Thanks Mac, but we gotta do something bout the fire, it kin spread to the rest of the farm if we don't control it.” Applejack spoke up again.

“Ah think it’s too late to save the barn, sis. Everypony grab a bucket in case it spreads.” Mac replied.

Meanwhile, it was getting harder to breathe, as the fire had fully covered the upper loft, and was starting to trickle down like water, starting smaller fires on the ground floor. I looked at Patches, and he was looking at the flames as if in a trance.

“C’mon big guy, snap outta it! We gotta get outta here before we get cooked alive.” I butted my head against his flank, to get his attention, but he remained still, staring ahead at nothing.

“Oh geeze, what do we do?” I ran towards the front door, but the heat from the fires kept me back. “Help! Somepony, help!” I finally yelled.

“There’s somepony in there!” I heard somepony yell. “Everypony, I think I heard a foal in there!”

“There cain’t be! Ah saw Applebloom and Sweetie Belle run off wit Dash an Pinkie. Who else kin it be?” AJ yelled back. It was getting harder to hear everypony over the roar of the fire, and the smoke was making me head swim. “Aw no! Scootaloo! Has anypony seen Scootaloo?”

Suddenly, there was a mighty roar, as the ground shook, and the sound of something large headed toward the barn made me jump back. A moment later, the front doors shattered, sending burning wood everywhere, as Big Mac burst through them. However, the barn door must have been holding up the loft, as it came crashing down. I saw the fear in Big Mac’s eyes a moment before he was covered in a purple glow and pulled free, just as the fire crashed on the spot he had been standing. Now the front of the barn was a blazing inferno, as the fallen loft fed on the incoming air. Turning around, I was the rear of the barn wasn't faring much better, and it was getting increasingly hard to breathe. And in the middle of it all, was Patches, seemingly unphased by the death all around us.

Tears streaming down my face, I fluttered up to look the massive stallion in the eye. In a burst of strength, I screwed up my muzzle and slapped him as hard as I could, before my strength gave out and I dropped to the floor.

“Wake up, ya big dummy!” I coughed out, as the room began to swim and darken. It felt like somepony was sitting on my chest, and I could barely keep my head up.

“Pumpkin?” I heard him gasp out. I looked up through bleary eyes and felt my jaw drop.

“What you call me?” I muttered.

“I remember now. Oh, Celestia, what have I done?” He dropped to his knees and picked me up, holding me tight. “You, me. We were a family. You were my little pumpkin, and your mother was my angel. Then I lost her, and I thought I lost everything. But I was stupid. I forgot I still had you.” Tears ran down his face, and I felt a different pain in my chest, as I looked up into eyes the same color as mine.

“Daddy?” I croaked out.

“Yes, Pumpkin. I’m your daddy. And I missed you so much. Can you ever forgive me for leaving?” he begged.

“Save us. I’ll think about it.” I gasped, barely able to stay awake as the crushing pain in my chest and throat got worse.

Finally, he looked around at the inferno, and the heat that was slowly cooking us. “I-I don’t know how!”

“Yer a big monster pony. Turn into a bigger monster and save us!” I smiled as the room faded out.

A moment later I was shocked awake by a roar, and opened my eyes to see a masive black and green dragon holding me in his arms. My head spun as he turned to smash one wall, before charging through the flames with his head down and me clutched to his chest. I squeezed my eyes shut, but still felt my fur singe as we busted through and out into the cool night air. I heard the creak and thump of the barn collapsing behind is, followed by screams from the ponies gathered outside. He let out another roar, before I was blinded by green flames, and squeezed my eyes shut again. Strangely these flames didn't hurt or burn, and the next thing I knew, I was falling to the ground, only to be caught in the tingling glow of magic.

As I touched down, I lurched to my hooves, and saw my savior collapsed nearby. He had turned back into his normal pony form, and was laying on his side, breathing heavily. I tried to crawl towards him, before being stopped by the telekinetic glow of a unicorn again.

“Scootaloo, wait. You’re hurt!” I heard her cry, but I still fought to reach the stallion.

“There it is! Kill it before it can get away!” I heard somepony else cry out.

“NO!” Yelling as loud as my sore lungs could, I was let free of the magic bonds. I stumbled over to the prone form of my friend, my father, and collapsed across his neck. “Nobody is gonna hurt him!”

“Move kid, that thing is dangerous! You see what he did to the barn? It’s a monster!” Somepony else yelled.

“S’not a monster! He-he’s my dad!” I managed to choke out, before the world went black again.


I awoke to the feeling of tingly magic. It made my fur itch, and my feathers tingle. And then I sneezed. And sneezed. And coughed up great black globs of nasty stuff, as I leaned over the edge of the cot I was on.

“That’s it, cough it all up. You inhaled alot of smoke, and it all needs to come out so I can heal you properly.” “The calm, motherly voice of Twilight Sparkle came to me as I proceeded to cough up a lung.

In moments, it was over, and my eyes stopped watering. I blinked and looked around. I saw Twilight, and my friends, as well as Patches, sitting on another cot, which creaked under his weight.

“Daddy!” I launched myself off the cot, and into his waiting arms, as my friends giggled at us.

“Pumpkin!” His voice was still gravelly, but clear now, as he held me close.

“Wow, so Patches is yer dad? That’s so cool!” Sweetie gasped out.

“Yea, yer so lucky. I cain’t even remember my pa. An now you got yers back. Ah’m so happy fer ya!” Applebloom jumped up to hug us.

“His name is Rocky Road, and he is my dad, and he was originally an earth pony. My mom, is Dawn Glow, a pegasus.

“Your momma would be proud of you too. She retired from the Wonderbolts to have you, but and earth pony like me could never keep her hooves on the ground. She joined the reserves, and flew patrols once a month, until the day she didn't come home. I thought I lost everything when I lost her.” Great tears welled up in my dad’s eyes, and ran down his muzzle in a river as he hugged me tighter. “I was a dang fool, and forgot I had an angel every bit as dear to my heart as your mother. I had you, my little Pumpkin.”

“So, the mad Kirin experimented on you, and made you into this?” Twilight came over, sitting down and pulling out a notepad. “I saw in your memories that he promised alot of money for your ‘service’.”

“Yes, he was gonna take care of my little pumpkin, at least financially. But he betrayed me. I was a fool for trusting that crazy... thing.” Sighing, he stood, and looked down at the purple pony.

“So what now? Are the townsfolk still gonna come after me?” He asked, looking resigned.

“Oh no. As it is, we have managed to establish your identity as a citizen of Ponyville, and Equestria. As it is, there will be some deliberation as to your racial classification, what with your changeling abilities and all, but you will find Equestrian law is rather lenient on what it considers a citizen, so long as you are not a troublemaker.” She grinned, and pulled out a letter bearing the royal seal. “I have it all here, signed by Princess Celestia and Luna. As for Mr. Rich and his cronies, they are now under investigation in the matters of inciting a riot, unlawful accusation, public endangerment, and destruction of property. Sadly, his lawyer is a slimy little snake, and we weren't able to get the attempted murder charges to stick, but I have a friend in the ERS that assures me that the ongoing audit on his financial dealings will be more than enough to keep him out of out hair for the foreseeable future.”

We all cheered at that, my dad just grinning and nuzzling me, while my friends jumped up and down.

“I dunno how to thank ya, Miss. I have my family back, and hopefully I will have my life back.” He bowed, making Twilight blush and stammer.

“It was nothing, really. The least I could do, considering what you have been through. I just wish there was something we could do about what was done to you, but the science used on you is forbidden for a reason.” She sighed, looking defeated.

“Wait a minute! Isn't he like, part changeling? He turned into that big bug, and then into a big old dragon! Why can’t he turn into an earth pony?” Sweetie Belle spoke up, getting surprised looks from all of us.

“That’s it! We may not be able to change you back to normal, but there’s nothing to keep you from making yourself look normal.” Twilight bounced back, looking triumphant again.

With a nod, Rocky closed his eyes, and concentrated. Without the emotions fueling him, it seemed to take longer.

“You can do it, dad!” I crowed, as the others cheered him on.

Suddenly there was a burst of green flames, tinged with red, and his entire firm seemed to burn, turning black for a moment, before another wave of flames flared up, leaving behind orange fur and a black mane. All scars were gone, along with his wings, although his horn seemed to remain, being made from metal. On his flank was the mark of a dirt path in brown. As he opened his eyes, saw they were once again the same color as mine, just as his coat matched my own. Looking up at the metal horn, he looked confused, and then annoyed.

“Oops. I guess the changeling ability has some drawbacks. That is good information to know!” Twilight once again chimed in, making more notes on her pad. “Why don’t you just try an illusion spell?”

Nodding again, he stuck his tongue out in concentration, before lighting up his horn with a red glow. Squinting harder, the horn started to fade out, along with the glow, until a white star patch was all that remained on his head.

“Woohoo! Way to go Dad!” I cheered, and he pulled me into another hug.

Suddenly there was a gust of wind, announcing the high speed arrival of Rainbow Dash. “Hey Twilight! Is Scoots alright?” Looking over at me, she waved, and I waved back. “Heya Squirt!” She leaned over to her friend and whispered, but I clearly heard what she was saying. “Hey Twi, who’s the hunky stallion hugging my little sister?”

Laughing, Twilight whispered back, “That hunky stallion is her father, Rocky Road. I believe you know him as Patches.”

“That’s Patches? No way!” She cried out, popping into the air in surprise.

letting me go, Rocky made his way over to the flustered mare. “So I hear I have you to thank for seeing after my little Pumpkin. It was mighty kind of you to take her under your wing. With her mother passed, she needs a pegasus role model to look up to.”

“It was the least I could do for my biggest fan. So, umm.. does that mean you’re single?” Blushing, Rainbow Dash dropped to the ground, kicking the grass with an uncharacteristic display of nervousness.

“Indeed I am, Ms Dash. It seems I will once again be raising my daughter alone. I do appreciate a pony as awesome as you being her big sister, however.” With mounting horror, I saw where this was leading, and I was paralyzed to do anything but watch.

“Well even ponies as awesome as me need to take care of their fans.” I saw them start to wander away, as they continued to banter.

“Well, just how awesome is that, Ms. Dash? You do know I was once married to a Wonderbolt Captain.” My dad shot back.

“Awesome enough to kick your sorry flank, if you recall!” Dash shot back, once again becoming airborne.

“Ahh yes, I hear tell old Rocky had a thing fer wings. Looks like he ain't changed much.” Applejack sauntered up, another witness to my embarrassment. “Well there Scootaloo, looks like your big sister may be gettin a promotion iffin this keeps up.” She drawled.

“Just kill me now...” Was all I could think to say as I covered my face in shame. Around me my friends all laughed at my pain. I hated them all so much.

Author's Note:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cPKVnJctd3alKnn2QCAAhDpq9oNekFeGmzmmn1sV1dM/edit

Fine, here it is, two days late... but finished at last.:pinkiehappy:

Totally unedited, because BOTH of my editors are dragging their asses, and late because... reasons.:facehoof: Please feel free to point out any mistakes so i can fix them.

And as a bonus, it's already been rejected by EqD, because of headcanons. Seriously, every reason they gave other than editing errors was because of a fanon idea I used. Lol, this entire story was a nod to fan-made headcanons, from the overused accent of Applebloom, to Scootaloo being an orphan. I picked the funniest headcanons and made a story about them, and as usual the EqD crew are too narrow minded to see this for the comedic writing that it is. :derpytongue2:

Guess that means I still get to hang with the cool kids.:coolphoto:

Comments ( 5 )

... enough to keep him out of out hair for the foreseeable future.”

There were some other errors, but I cant be arsed right now.

I started to read this last night but demurred in favor of reading it with coffee.

Loved it.

6597783 Danke. I had alot of fun with this one, just feel bad it too so long to finish.

6598271 You're quite welcome. Don't worry, it was well written.

That Patch turned to be Scoot's father was an unexpected blow right in the feels.

I think I read the first couple chapters of this when they came out, and then it took three years to be finished, and now it took me another five years to realize that. It was worth it in the end, though, but very frustrating that they spent all that time running around being chased and only after realized he could shapeshift into a regular pony.

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