• Published 15th Apr 2012
  • 2,023 Views, 42 Comments

Patchwork Pony - Drax99



A monster pony wakes up with no memory, and is befriended by the CMC.

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Some Assembly Required

Slowly I came to, for the second time, unsure of where I was. Again I heard unfamiliar voices around me, and it took me a moment to get my bearings and remember what was going on. Then It started coming back, the little fillies, the unicorn, lots of pain and screaming. The rest was a blur.

“Damn, Pinkie. Did you have to buck me so hard? I’m gonna feel that bruise for a week.”

“Sooorreee! I guess I don't know my own strength sometimes.” Pinkie apologised, her ears drooping. “I’ll make you an extra special batch of them chocolate chip bagels you love, as an apology!”

Shaking her head, the unicorn sighed, “That would be nice, but you really don't need to, Pinkie. I lost control, and you helped me get ahold of myself. I owe you one.”

“Oh, it’s ok Twilight. I’ll smack you around any time you want.” She grinned mischievously, “That is, if you really want me to...”

Twilight winced, “Uhh, Pinkie, now is definitely not the time to talk about that.” She rolled her eyes and glanced over at the three fillies, who were all watching the exchange with wide eyes. “You girls really brought me a doozy of a problem.”

“So, did you help him?” Sweetie Belle asked eagerly. “Can he remember anything?”

In response, I just shook my head. They all groaned, disappointed.

“Well he can’t remember, but I certainly do.” Twilight sighed once again. She was doing that alot lately. “Pull up a seat, because this is gonna be one crazy story.”


I asked myself, not for the first time, why I was here in the Everfree talking to this strange pony. Just like each other time, I could not come up with a better answer than having nothing else to lose.

“So, in exchange for my help, you will pay half a million bits, and if i die, you will pay one million bits?” My skepticism was understandable.

The creepy pony with the deep hood nodded eagerly in response. “Yesh, to repay your great shacrifice to the advancement of shcience, your family will be greatly rewarded.”

I didn't entirely trust this creature, who wore a pony shape, but didn't seem to move like any pony I had seen. His strange twitches and odd manner of speech made me think of stories about changelings I had heard as a foal. I shrugged indifferently and held out a hoof in agreement. I had little else in this world. “Whatever. I don't give a Diamond Dog’s ass about science. I just want to make sure my kid is taken care of.”

A strangely cloven hoof met mine, long fetlocks coming free of the robe’s sleeves. “Yesh, your family will be well cared for, I shwear it! And if you shurvive, you will shtill be a wealthy shtallion.”

Nodding, I followed the strange creature further into the forest. It wouldn't be the first horrible mistake I made in my life, but it may very well be my last. It didn't take long to find the hidden entrance lodged in a tree with a false panel granting entry. We made our way into the earth, smelling of damp and moss, until a second door of metal stopped us. Slipping back the hood I saw for the first time the creature’s full face, and understood this was no pony I was now working for. His head was almost goat-like, with a tufted chin, and striped face accented with strangely shaped eyes. Most striking of all was the oddly curved horn that came from his head. Not spiraled and stubby, with a rounded tip like a normal unicorn, but black and ridged with a wicked pronged point on the end. It looked as if it would be more at home on a dragon, or some sort of mythical deer, than the forehead of a pony.

Seeing me staring, he chuckled darkly, before plunging the horn into a hole in the door. Turning his head, I heard a click, and then the door swung open. Clearly this was a special lock that only he could use, for no unicorn possessed a horn of that shape. Again, I asked myself what I was doing here, and this time had no answer at all.

“Shtep into my parlor...” He waved me forward with one of his cloven hooves, and grinned mischievously. I could swear his teeth looked pointed.

“Said the spider to the fly.” I responded automatically. Yep, definitely pointed teeth.

“Come now, no need to worry. You are being paid well for your shervice.” Striding forward, he swept into the tunnel without a backward glance, expecting me to follow. And follow I did, the door closing shut behind me, and a series of clicks sealing my fate along with the portal.

Following him inside, I found a rather cozy living space, looking for all it was worth like a therapist’s waiting room. I was more familiar with such rooms than I cared to dwell on. Removing his robe and hanging it on a stand, I gasped at the first sight of his full body. Striped like a zebra, with cloven hooves, long fetlocks and a scaly tail ending in a tuft of fur. His mane and the tuft were stark white, while his coat was striped black and beige, and the scales along the underside of the tail glimmered the same obsidian black as the horn. My shocked look brought another malicious grin to his face, showing off the sharpened teeth to great effect.

“Sho. Welcome to my humble abode. My name ish Doctor Kirin, and thish ish where I will redefine the future of the pony race! I have my laboratory, and the testing facility hidden away from prying eyesh and meddling hoovesh. You shall be the next shtep in my work.” Pacing back and forth he gestured animatedly as he talked.

“Okay, I’ll bite. What are you, and what is your work?” I knew I was not going to like the answer, but I was doomed to my fate regardless.

“Ah, both very good questions.” His smile brightened again, losing some of its predatory feel as he launched into what was obviously a favorite subject. “Ash for the first, I am as I am named. I am a Kirin, a creature both pony and dragon, brought about by a twisting of magics long ago forbidden.” He sighed heavily, continuing in a more sedate tone. “At least that ish what my mother told me. In truth, I am an abomination in the eyesh of both racesh, cursed to be the only one of my kind.” Lifting his head to level a grim look at me, he went on with more conviction. “However, that bringsh ush to the shecond question. My great work is to use my unique giftsh to make more hybridsh, and to bring new life to Equestria.” The manic gleam now in his misshapen eyes made me take a step back. “With you, my dear earth pony, I shall shtep into the history booksh as the first pony to create an Alicorn!”

“Yep, you are completely crazy, and I’d like to leave now.” I backed against the door, remembering that it was now sealed, as was my fate.

“I’m afraid you cannot leave. The deal hash been made, and the great work must begin!” His horn began to glow a sickly reddish color, and the predatory fanged grin returned. “Shoon you shall be the first new Alicorn in Equestria in over one thousand yearsh, but for now you shleep.”

And with that, the room went black, and my consciousness faded.


A strange buzzing noise wakes me from a rather peaceful dream about my family. My wife and daughter are with me at a picnic, until a swarm of wasps invade and wake me up. My eyes blink back the crust of sleep to reveal a rather oddly lit room and a barrier of iron around me. Colors of every hue slowly come into focus as I look around and start to make out scientific equipment of all sorts, none of which I understand. Finally I settle on a black shape in an adjacent cage that seems to be the source of the irritating noise.

“Finally awake are we? Welcome to the damned, enjoy the complimentary mints and massage.” What?

I blink again, focusing on the dark pony nearby, taking in his appearance. Dark color, bluish teal eyes, fangs, and holes in his legs. Stories of my childhood drift back about boogeymares lurking in closets to steal away foals that didn't eat their alfalfa and sprouts. Changelings. Creatures of nightmare that stole your soul and took over your life, only to feed on the ponies you loved.

“Oi! You see me now eh? Feelin tha chill are we?” A toothy grin accompanied the strangely accented creature across the room from me. “Aye, we be the things of noitmares an stories to ye. A roit bloody monsta in da flesh!” The creature cackled gleefully at my apparent horror. “Gaze ye ponies at me moity works and despair!” Another cackling laugh ended in a rasping cough, breaking the intimidation factor of the diminutive demon. “Oi, bloddy ‘ell. Aye ain't got much more o’ dat in meh.” Finally breaking down into a fit of coughing, the creature of nightmare lost the last of it’s menace and huddled into a fetal ball for a few moments.

“What the hell are you?” I started at the rasp in my own voice, feeling the dryness of long disuse.

“Oh, me? Ahma Changelin’, mate. Great bloddy ‘orra outta Trottin’am, I is.” The dark creature unwound into a ponylike shape, smiling a fanged visage. “Fresh outta deep cover, an ready ta rejoin da ‘ive an serve da Queen. Maker save da Queen!”

“What?” What I lacked in eloquence, I made up for with brevity. And confusion. I mean, really, have you ever tried to make sense of a Trottingham accent? Total rubbish.

“A changeling, great boogeymare o’ da wasteland? Critter gonna steal yer skin an eat yer foals?” Waving its hooves in the air, the creature sighed a very weary sigh of long sufferance. “Ringin any bells, mate?”

I shook my head and kept to my confused look. I almost understood but couldn't believe what I was seeing.

“Feed on love, an take anny shape? Stick yer lovvins inna coocoon? Oh c’mon, wot they teachin ya ponies these days? Ya don even know yer common monsters!”

Finally it all clicked in my head. Deertales of creatures that fed of love and took the shape of your closest friends and family. Changeling. Dark magic and evil deeds to unspoken gods. My eyes grew wide as I looked on my companion with a new light.

“Oi! There ya go! Ya gots it now. Fear me evilnesssss...!” The sibilant hiss of the creature’s word ended in more labored coughing as it doubled over.

I overcame my fear at the display of weakness and began to chuckle myself. “Not quite the evil monster of my bedtime stories, are you?”

“Bah, was a roit terror once, mate, afore da doc got ta me.” More coughing followed the brazen statement. Gasping he continued, “E’ took somtin outta me, an I’m dyin by degrees now. Won’ be long now. Yer next, mate. Won’ be long fer us all.”

Looking around I saw more cages, each with a prisoner, not all moving. A cage contained another pony, barely breathing from the looks of her, while a cocatrice glared blindly from another cell, it’s eye sockets oozing a black fluid. I saw another creature watching us from across the room. Pale, nearly bald and shaped like some sort of hornless minotaur, it babbled to itself in a strange tongue as it grasped at it’s bars with flesh claws while beady eyes tracked us from a sunken, flat face. It almost resembled a hairless diamond dog.

My inspection was interrupted by the sound of a door opening, and all eyes were drawn to the instrument of our torment. Wearing a toothy grin, the doctor himself entered the room, and all talk ceased as he made his way toward us.

“Yesh! It ish time to begin my little petsh. Together we shall make history, and I shall become the mashter of all Equestria!” The mad creature’s eyes glowed with an inner light as his horn started to pulse darkly with magic. I barely had time to recognize the spell before darkness claimed me once again, and the screams of multiple creatures reached my ears.


I remember pain. It’s a strange memory, only halfway between a dream and reality. Part of my brain says it should be something bad, but the rest only looks at it with detached interest. Like a stain or spot on my coat, annoying but easily ignored. Slowly I drift up through the haze of consciousness, and the pain becomes more poignant, sharpening, yet still separate from my immediate surroundings. It’s as if I have been swimming in the pulses from my body so long that they no longer hold any meaning. Like a smell that no longer makes you gag after you have breathed it’s fulminant stench for far too long and your nose becomes desensitised. Pain was nothing more than an annoyance. Pain was almost... nice. At least I was feeling something again.

Oh, wait. Pain is supposed to be bad, right? Well I sure do have alot of it. And that smell? Acrid and pungent, smells of copper and bile. Slowly my brain reboots from whatever shutdown it had undergone, and the parameters of the boot sequence... what the buck am I even thinking about? Parameters? What the fuck? Fuck... colloquial term for fornication, a derivative of...

Oh shit. I am losing my mind. I am.. I am. What am I?

My eyes slowly open, as light painfully floods in. Hurting, pain, agony. Yes, these are all bad. I flinch, trying to pull away, but I feel myself restrained. I cry out from the pain, but only a dry rasp escapes my throat. Slowly my eyes adjust to the light, and the room starts to take shape around me. I find myself in the center of a slaughterhouse, and the charnel stench nearly overwhelms me.

The cage containing the pale creature contains a corpse, its head now shaved and the top removed. Death did not come gently to the creature. The cockatrice lay headless, it’s body still twitching as a pool of blood dripped sluggishly from between the bars of it’s cage. Finally I see the changeling, gasping for breath, yet still not dead. His eyes are dull and the luminescence has died. He tries to lift his head, but falls flat as green ichor dribbled from his fanged mouth.

“Oi, mate.” the creature gasped in pain. “Tha doc got me good, ‘e did. Took me change gland.”

“What happened? Why does everything hurt?” I rasped hoarsely, as the waves of pain pulsed through my body.

“The Doc, he went mad. Kilt the lot o’ us. Says he gonna be a god.” Coughing once more, the dark form finally went still. The last glow faded from the blue orbs, and its breathing ceased.

I didn't have long for my situation to sink in before a cackling laugh interrupted my thoughts. I strained to turn my head as the figure of the mad doctor came into view, and my horror was renewed. He was covered in spatters of blood, from his white lab coat to his face, and his eyes shone with a mad gleam.

“Ah, I shee you are finally awake! Good, good!” He actually rubbed his hooves together like some comic book villain, and grinned his horrible shark-toothed grin. “Shoon you will be healed, and then the final shtages of my plan shall come to fruition. Your gifted mind shall be cleared of all obstructions, and my own shuperior intellect shall be transferred into the waiting vessel. And only then will the world shee my true power!” A cackle broke the the mad stallion’s tirade, and I could swear I even heard thunder rolling outside the lab.

“What did you do to me? My voice seemed to gain strength as the pain slowly began to subside. My strength was returning, and with it a host of new sensations unlike anything I had felt before. A strange twinge on my back heralded what felt like new limbs, and some indescribable tingle ran from my forehead to the base of my mane. Even my mouth felt strange as my tongue crossed sharp incisors much like those the doctor himself had.

“Ahh, that ish a very good question, my fine shtallion. I have improved upon the maker’s design and created a new form of life. The forbidden magic of chimeratic creation has enabled me to combine the shtrengths of many creaturesh into one. The body of an earth pony was the base for my design, combined with the wingsh of a pegasush. Shadly, I wash forced to use mismatched wingsh, as both poniesh were badly injured. A unicorn horn of my own design shall give the powersh of magic, and the gland of a changeling shall grant the ability to take whatever form you choose.”

My horror mounted as I realized the true madness of what had been done to me. Multiple ponies and other creatures had been slaughtered to grant me my new limbs, and my once healthy body had become a jigsaw of assorted parts. And yet, as bad as it seemed, the list went on to describe what a freak I had truly been transformed into.

“Yesh, you will heal fast from the hydra heart, while the dragon blood in your veinsh will grant you immunity to magic ash well ash the ability to breath fire in time. The cockatrice has granted you it’sh eyes, making a weapon of your gaze. The final gift wash a portion of brain from the shtrange creature I found wandering the forest. He called himself a human, and was gifted with an amazing mind.” A grim chuckle left the doctor’s mouth as a mirthless grin overtook his face. “You know the old shaying, a mind is a terrible thing to waste!” He laughed at his own horrible joke. “Sho I took hish mind and added it to yoursh, not that your will care shince it will be wiped clean shoon.”

“W-wiped? But my mind is all I have? My memories and my little girl. My w-wife...” I began to feel the heat of tears rolling down my face. I had thought I had nothing left to live for, and was ready to face the maker and my wife in the next life. Now the thought of losing it all filled me with a horror beyond anything I had experienced.

“Nonsense. All of that is unimportant. Your family will be taken care of, and I will rise to power as the new god of Equestria!” Another cackle shook his frame as he turned away from me to adjust some equipment.

“I don't understand. How will doing this make you a god?” Stalling for time, I tried to work on my bonds as I began to feel my strength returning while the pain receded.

“Oh! I did forget that part. The final part, culminating from nine. You shall be the ultimate chimera of nine, and I shall be that ninth part. My shuperior intellect and mind shall command your perfect body, and combined, a new god will be formed. Your body shall be mine!” This time no laughter punctuated his speech, but I clearly heard a storm raging outside. I knew once and for all I was doomed.

Despite this, the image of my wife and child were still bright in my mind. I knew finally that I had something to live for after all, and a purpose to fight. The leather bonds creaked as I strained against them, and the table I was strapped to creaked in protest. I was no Apple family pony, but I was still an earth pony, and my strength came from the earth and all living things. The mad doctor hummed to himself as he made the finishing touches to the machine, unaware of the fury about to be unleashed.

Finally as the straps began to fray and I could feel the boards start to crack, the doctor turned to behold his creation one last time. The look of shock on his face was all I needed to make the final struggle and break the bonds on my arms. As I snapped free, his look of shock turned to one of anger and his horn glowed an angry red.

“NO! You will not shtop me when I am sho close!” A red glow surrounded my body, and I felt my mind starting to flicker, as darkness clouded my vision. It did little to control my body as it’s new resistance to magic shrugged off the effects of the doctor’s spell and I continued to rise. A berserker rage overtook me as I felt my mind slipping away, and my body snapped the last of the binds holding me down. The last image my mind processed was the head of the mad doctor Kirin, lowered at me, with his jagged horn pointed at my throat.


I blinked as a pain on my neck snapped me from the memory, and the smiling face of Twilight came back into view surrounded by those of the awestruck fillies.

“And that should fix the problem with your throat, although even with your healing abilities, the wound will take time to heal.” Her words were emphasized by a gasp from the children as she levitated a jagged sliver of horn before her, still slick with blood. “Getting the piece of the Doctor’s horn out was the key to restoring your voice, although it is too bad this is all that remains of him. I saw in your memories what happened, and it wasn't pretty.”

“Umm, Twilight? What time does the library close?” Pinkie queried from a nearby window.

Wrapping the fragment in a towel, the unicorn walked over to her friend. “We close at 8 o’clock, same as every night, Pinkie. You should know, as many times as you have crashed here after your parties.”

A nervous look came over the pink mare as she turned to face is, a strange flickering reflected in her eyes. “Well somepony should tell all those ponies outside, because I don't think you have enough snacks for that kind of party!”

As we all crowded around the window, we heard the low murmur of a gathering crowd, while the flickering light of torches flooded in from outside. These ponies did not look like they were here for a party, and the angry look on the brown stallion leading them was mirrored on the faces of everypony in the crowd.

“Who are all those ponies? It looks like half of the town is here!” Twilight gasped as the tan stallion stepped forward, followed meekly by a scared pink filly.

I heard all three of the fillies gasp behind me, but it was Scootaloo that spoke up. “It’s Diamond Tiara, and her dad, Filthy Rich.” The three girls moaned in distress. “Trust me Pinkie, they are NOT here to party.”

The pink mare fell flat on her rump, and her hair seemed to deflate a little. “Oh poo! I was afraid of that. Twilight, you better get your riot gear, this isn't gonna be fun.”

Looking flustered, the purple mare stammered. “W-what makes you think I have anti-pony riot gear, with body armor and tear gas? It’s not like I prepared a checklist of things to have on hoof in case I...” The flat stare from her pink friend silenced her protests. “It’s downstairs, next to the self defence books my brother sent me.” Seeing the stares the girls gave her she just shrugged. “What? My brother is captain of the Royal Guard, and a bit protective of his baby sister.”

All three fillies shared a look before breaking out in grins, screaming, “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, RIOT POLICE! YAY!”

The rest of us collectively facehoofed.

Author's Note:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1y-UwtAcCb8kSKxq0Vhl0JZmMz7gwe8_MhpgSACvz_lo

Holy hell, I can't believe i forgot to post this! I decided to do some work on the last chapter, and realized that this one was sitting unpublished since I wrote it for Halloween. Dammit...

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. Only one chapter to go!