Life is hard very hard, well for humans any way, that's what I use to think that's before I met Trixie. She showed me life can be just as hard for ponies as it is for humans.
Chapters (3)
- Member Since 19th Jul, 2014
- offline last seen Feb 28th, 2016
clock work eye
don't watch the show, i just like the fandom
clock work eye
Joined 19th Jul, 2014 ·
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You need a proofreader. If English isn't your first language, then stuff like that's to be expected, but if it is, you really have no excuse. Either way, you should get a proofreader. You're failing to capitalize constantly, you're not using punctuation, you're not using spaces... and a little backstory would be nice. How did a human get in Equestria? Or did the pony come to Earth? You're very good at descriptions, but your grammar(and some of your storytelling) needs work. This story could easily get over a hundred views if you simply got someone to look over it and make a few edits.
Sorry to sound so harsh. I'm a total stickler about grammar and spelling and all that.
4919724 To be honest, you look quite tame compared to people who want constant grammar,
Not like I'm any better though
4921956 I know, but when I posted my first story(it was about some alicorn Sue or something XD) I got TOTALLY butthurt when people were telling me what I did wrong. I'm just trying to be nice. Sort of.
4923154 Cool. If you're wondering why I said that, it's because I've never seen someone who gets enraged about that stuff not stay like that.
Congrats to you :P
4919724 i completely understand,English is my first language but i am severely dyslexic and we concentrated on spelling at school and not grammar. As for the back story that is completely my fault
i rushed the story to much and have paid the price which i will learn from. Thank you for your constructive criticism it has been very helpful.
4923871 Oh, my. Now I feel bad.
4924191 Don't feel bad please you were just giving constructive criticism which i have learned from and are now working on. I am currently editing the story so it has a back story anyway it's how we get better at writing by making mistakes and learning from them
4928429 Yay! Tell me when you're done editing, please.
4929217 i have added the first part of the back story but i will reveal more to the characters past life in later chapters hope you enjoy
4932923 I will, once it comes out.
*gets popcorn and chair*
I'm willing to wait as long as it takes. Provided I don't run out of popcorn.
Sorry to any one that has been wondering about the absence second chapter and the continuation of the fic i have a good explanation for it. I have recently started 6 form and things have been a bit topsy turvey but every thing has been sorted so i will be triying to add the second chapter ASAP.
As someone who is diligently working on a magnum opus starring Trixie and a human, this irritates the shit out of me. This is a gratuitously piss-poor representation of the subjects I'm endeavoring to work with.
5427250 Thank you for the comment, i understand that this story might not be for every one, if you don't like it don't read it.
OW
OW
OW
READING THIS HURTS.
KILL ME.
5427309 Well you tried and I give you A for effort and being a good sport. You get my respect for that man/madam.
5655876 thank you, I really just do this for fun, and everyone is entitled to there own opinions so again thank you