Chapter Three
The sun dimly shone behind a massive blizzard that covered the land as far as the eye could see. The cold of the north was infamous for claiming those unprepared for its unforgiving chill, but no matter how cold, steel never faltered under the elements. A massive army of machines marched through the raging snowstorm towards a large column of steel. Ajax was in the front wrapped in a thick coat. He looked up at the flurry of snow overhead before looking back at Jax-4.
“You are sure that we are not being followed correct?”
Jax-4 nodded his head and gave Ajax a thumbs up. When the army arrived inside, the robotic soldiers stepped into chutes that lead to the lower depths of the tower. Ajax, Jax-4, and Trixie all stepped into an elevator as the pylon started to sink back into the ground. Jax-4 stared intently at Ajax with his two empty eye sockets and pointed at his mouth slot. Ajax sighed and nodded his head.
“Quite a nice victory we had today! So what do you think about the Crystal Princess? Should we pay her any further attention?”
Jax-4, despite being a robot, seemed excited to have his speech back.
“Well she obviously is foolish, inexperienced, and reckless on the battlefield. When the time comes to attack Canterlot, I am sure she will be the least of our worries.”
Jax-4 was tinkering with one of his arms while Ajax talked.
“I agree, I would be surprised if she tried to stand in your way after the beatdown we just gave her.”
The elevator stopped and Jax-4 went a separate way from the human and the pony. The two walked down a long hallway for quite some time without saying a word to each other. Trixie would rather stick with someone who knew where he was going rather than wander the halls by herself.
“So what’s the plan now?” said Trixie, breaking the silence.
“We move on with getting our revenge on Celestia and Twilight of course.”
“Right but how exactly are we going to do that?” Ajax stopped and looked at Trixie.
“Easy there Trixie, We will get our revenge soon enough, no need to be so eager. At least allow us time to replace the soldiers we lost at the Crystal Empire.”
Trixie wasn’t asking because she was eager for revenge, she was more worried about what he was going to do next. Ajax stepped into a small room and leaned his swords against a wall. He removed his heavy shoulderpads and the metal plating covering his forearms. He let out a long sigh as he began to open nearby drawers and take out old containers. He began to pour out the contents into a metallic bowl.
“I know it might not look like much right now, but if we add some water then it won’t be half bad. You must be hungry right?”
Trixie’s stomach growled as she took the seat across from him. Ajax got up and took the contents to a nearby sink and started to wash them with water. Trixie’s eyes wandered around the room and came across one of Ajax’s swords. She noticed that his swords were actually quite different from one another. Both swords were large, but one was noticeably larger than the other. The largest of the two swords was made from a dark steel with scratches and marks running up it’s blade. The other one was smaller, but never the less a well sized blade, but it was made from a type of metal that Trixie had never seen before. Without even realizing it Trixie had walked over and began to drag a hoof across the blade. The blade looked like it was carved from marble, but it had the metallic cold feeling of steel.
“Don’t touch that!” Trixie jumped hearing Ajax yell.
“S-sorry, I was just interested in one of your swords.”
Ajax frowned at her and sat back down at the table while placing a bowl in front of her chair. He sat quietly and began to eat his meal. Trixie walked over and took her seat, looking at what he had just put in front of her. The contents seemed to be bland in color, with no aroma at all.
“What is this exactly?” asked Trixie.
“It’s a chemical compound designed to give you all the necessities of a meal and fill up your stomach.”
Trixie continued to stare at it unsure if she was hungry enough to eat something like this.
“There is nothing wrong with it and it’s all we got so eat it already.”
Trixie took a hesitant bite and to her surprise there was no taste at all. This was quite possibly the most bland meal she had ever eaten.
“So why do your swords look so different?”
Ajax slowly looked over at his swords with a distant expression.
“One of them belonged to an old friend of mine.”
“What happened to him?”
Ajax put down his fork down and looked up at Trixie.
“She’s dead. They all died fighting at my side.”
The two sat quietly for a moment not saying anything.
Trixie let out a cough and looked over at his swords again. The bright and dark sword laid against the wall leaning on each other.
“Is that why you hate Celestia?” asked Trixie.
Ajax remained quiet and motionless gripping his fork tightly with his fist. Trixie could see that Ajax was starting to get angry and tried to change the subject, but Ajax spoke before she got the chance.
“Long ago my father took it upon himself to wipe out all the inferior races in Equestria… He would do anything as long as it helped him achieve the goal, but when he was younger he was struck with a fatal wound that would hinder him for his entire life. His hopes of leading an army to purge Equestria were crushed, until the day his wife gave him a son. He saw the child as a sign from the gods that his dream must continue. He trained me in all forms of combat, taught me all there is to know in leading an army, and enhanced my genetic code with Jack’s science with the intention of allowing me to rule forever. Then the day came when my father would pass on his life goal to me. I was very successful with my conquest and garnered the attention of all the other races in Equestria. The remaining races, fearful of our success banded together and fought back. Equestria, united under the sole purpose of defeating us was far more powerful than anything we could ever imagine. When all hope was lost I decided to strike a deal, a deal that would ensure the survival of my species.
I agreed to resign my position as future king and serve Equestria in whatever way possible. For the rest of my days I was supposed to guard the Everfree Scar, but I wasn’t the only one. Five of my dearest companions also took the burden upon themselves, in return the human race would be allowed to regrow under surveillance from the other races of Equestria.”
Ajax stabbed his fork into the table shaking with rage.
“Celestia was in charge of watching over us. She never even liked the idea of giving us a second chance from the start. I know she is responsible for the extinction of my race. She made all my friends die for nothing!”
Ajax slammed down his metal gauntlet on top of the fork crushing not only the fork, but the table as well. Tears started to brim under his eyes as he shook with anger.
“I am now alone in this foreign world because of her. SHE TOOK EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING FROM ME!”
Ajax’s entire body was now covered in black fire.
“I WILL NOT REST UNTIL SHE IS DEAD!”
“I am sorry…”
Ajax looked up to see Trixie duck behind the table.
“I don’t need your pity!”
Ajax flung the table across the room and stormed out taking both of his swords with him. Trixie nervously poked her head back out after Ajax left.
‘I wonder if he would have turned out differently had things gone better for him.’
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Thousands of ponies poured out of the Crystal Empire moving towards the train station still shocked by the recent attack on the empire. The ponies talked about rumors which only fueled the fear they already had for Ajax.
“I heard that they say he’s a demon from Tartarus!”
“I heard he wants to destroy all of Equestria!”
The ponies continued to theorize with one another since the trains were completely packed for the next dozen hours. Celestia, Luna, Shining Armor, and Horizon Star gathered atop the crystal tower to discuss further actions. The four ponies gathered in a room that had a large map of Equestria in the center table. Celestia was in deep thought as Horizon Star was discussing further strategies to be carried out.
“We do not know what he is capable of! Today he showed up with an army, but who's to say what he could achieve if we leave him unchecked.” Luna nodded slowly.
“I agree Horizon Star, but his location is unknown so there is nothing that we can do but wait for him to attack.” Celestia opened her eyes and looked over at Luna.
“I suggest that we start using all available assets. That is why I called for someone special to meet us here…” Shining Armor raised an eyebrow.
“Who would that be?”
“Why me of course!”
Shining Armor looked around, but nopony could be seen.
“That voice is familiar...it must be!” Shining Armor stopped, an image of Discord was inside the map on the table. Discord sat on top of the Crystal Empire filing his nails.
“Well, go on. Who is it? With all that build up you can’t just leave it at that.”
Shining Armor furrowed his brow and glared at Discord.
“Discord!…”
“T-T-T-Thaaaaaaats meeee!”
Discord popped out of the map and stood on top of the table with his arms spread outward. Shining Armor slammed his hooves down on the table knocking discord off.
“Wooaooah!”
Discord fell off the table and crashed into the ground knocking papers and everything else off the table. Discord shattered into fragments that spread across the floor.
“Don’t think we have forgotten how you betrayed us, nearly allowing Tirek to steal all magic throughout Equestria!”
Discord stood up putting himself back together.
“My, oh my, still stuck in the past are we? I thought we had all forgotten about that little fiasco.”
Luna looked at Celestia.
“Are you honestly going to trust Discord to help us again? He obviously can’t be trusted, no matter how many times he says he has changed, he will always be the devious fiend he is.”
“Well fine! If that’s how it’s going to be I shouldn't have even showed up in the first place.”
Discord started to pack his luggage, but before he could leave Celestia stopped him.
“Discord, I brought you here to give you the opportunity to redeem yourself for what you have done in the past. If you walk out of here now you might never get the chance again.”
Discord turned to Celestia and bowed before her.
“Very well princess what shall you have me do.”
Celestia looked over at Horizon Star and nodded.
Horizon stepped forward and handed a flyer to Discord. Discord looked at the piece of paper. The paper had a picture of Ajax’s face and a massive bounty below that had tripled since it was first listed.
“Hmm? This young fellow looks human.”
Horizon Star nodded.
“That’s because he is one. Does he look familiar to you?”
Discord rubbed his long goatee staring intently at the picture.
“I can’t say he rings a bell, but it has been so long since I have seen a human I don’t really remember what any of the important ones looked like now. Honestly, I am quite surprised that he is the sole cause of all the fuss, humans are quite possibly the most arrogant, sad, little creatures I have ever met. For goodness sakes Celestia I thought you called me for something serious!"
“This one is different Discord. He is clever and extremely cautious with every move he makes. You must somehow find him so that we can put a stop to him before he gets out of hand.”
Discord let out a sigh,
“If you guys really need me, of course I will help. I am the hero equestria needs, but not the one it deserves!”
Discord vanished with his maniacal chuckle leaving a large puff of smoke in the room. Luna coughed while she waved away the smoke.
“I guess if he does find Ajax we could always do a preemptive strike.”
“I’m still worrying about the fact if we can trust him or not.” said Horizon Star.
“Never the less what’s done is done. I suggest that we continue preparations back in Canterlot” said Celestia
They all agreed and prepared for the journey back to Canterlot. On the way out Celestia stopped Shining Armor with a concerned expression.
“I think it would be best if you stay here, just in case. Please send my condolences to Princess Cadence.”
Shining Armor nodded.
“Thank you princess. I will help her rule over the Crystal Empire until she is better. Until then I wish you the best of luck with the war.”
Celestia, Luna and Horizon Star were on the first train back to Ponyville, leaving Shining Armor to watch over Cadence for the time being.
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It was early morning in Ponyville when Twilight stepped outside and picked up the morning newspaper. She read the title and went back into her castle. When she took a second glance at the newsline she nearly had a heart attack. In bold black letters the newsline read: “CRYSTAL EMPIRE ATTACKED, THOUSANDS OF LIVES LOST” Twilight couldn’t believe what she was reading until she flipped the paper over and saw a letter with the royal seal. She quickly opened it worried that it only contained more bad news.
“Twilight, by the time you read this letter I am sure you heard of the tragedy in the Crystal Empire. Equestria requires you and your friends to come to it’s defense. Please come meet me in Canterlot as soon as possible.” -Celestia
Twilight rushed over and threw a sleeping Spike on her back before dashing out of her house. Spike was sleeping soundly until Twilight’s galloping caused him to knock his head against her neck.
“Ugh… Twilight?! What’s going on? It’s way too early to run any errands right now…”
Twilight came to a sudden halt nearly knocking Spike off her back and bashed on the Sugarcube Corner door. A disgruntled Mr.Cake answered the door and looked at Twilight with half opened eyes.
“Can I help you Twilight? You do know what time it is? I don’t need to remind you that I have two sleeping foals, right?”
Right after Mr. Cake finished speaking two young foals could be heard crying behind him.
“Had...” grumbled Mr. Cake
“Sorry Mr. Cake, but is Pinkie Pie up? It’s extremely urgent!”
Mr. Cake rolled his eyes and stepped back inside. Moments after, Pinkie Pie opened up the door, bouncing up and down as her usual self.
“Hey Twilight! What’s up?!”
Twilight grabbed Pinkie and dragged her out of the doorway.
“No time to explain!”
Twilight started to sprint across Ponyville again. Pinkie Pie bounced up and down next to Twilight.
“Hey Spike! How you doin? Do you know what’s going on?”
Spike tried to keep his stomach under control when suddenly Twilight took off into the sky. Spike rolled off of her back and landed on the floor.
“Wow I never seen Twilight in such a rush? Whatever it is must be really important?”
Spikes eyes rolled around in his head dazed from hitting the ground. Pinkie Pie began to wave a hoof in front of spikes face.
“Spike? Oh neat! You can also do that? Here watch me! I have been practicing.”
Pinkie started to roll her eyes around as well.
“He what?!” shouted a distant voice.
Pinkie Pie looked up towards the voice.
“Hey, isn't that Rainbow Dash?” Pinkie Pie shook her head causing her eyes to go back to
normal. Rainbow Dash landed down followed by Twilight.
“I am so mad I could just!”
Rainbow Dash smashed her hooves together. Pinkie Pie looked at Rainbow Dash and Twilight.
“Is something the matter Twilight?”
Twilight looked at Pinkie.
“Ajax has attacked the Crystal Empire...he’s the reason behind the deaths of thousands of innocent ponies .”
Pinkie Pie gasped.
“How could that be? When we met him he seemed like such an A-ok dude!”
“Obviously not!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash.
Twilight raised a hoof and cleared her throat
“Celestia has summoned all of us to Canterlot. Rainbow Dash you get Fluttershy. Pinkie Pie you get Rarity. I will get Applejack! Spike!...Spike you stay here…”
Spike had gone back to sleep where Twilight dropped him. The three ponies went separate ways to gather their friends.
Fluttershy window burst open as Rainbow Dash flew in and pushed her outside. Fluttershy slowly rubbed her eyes and looked at Rainbow Dash.
“Rainbow Dash it’s not cider season yet…”
“I know that! This is more important!”
Applejack was awoken by a rooster and opened her window to see the morning sunrise in the distance. She let out a sigh and looked at her apple orchard with a smile. She noticed a figure approaching down the road.
‘Is that Twilight?’
Rarity was sleeping soundly when she heard a crash from downstairs. She quickly removed her sleeping mask. She heard hoovesteps down the hallway slowly approaching her door. Rarity rushed to her door and held it shut. The door jiggled and shook for a moment then went calm. Rarity slowly opened the door and took a quick peek.
“Here’s Pinkieeeee!” Rarity jumped and fell backwards onto her bedroom floor.
“Wait?... Pinkie?”
Spike was fast asleep in the middle of the road when he was lifted up by magic and placed onto Twilight’s back. The mane six stood ready for the journey to canterlot.
“Equestria needs us to defend it from another villain girls, let’s go!”
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Celestia was talking with her guards when the six ponies came in. Twilight stepped forward.
“Celestia! is it true? Did Ajax really attack the Crystal Empire?”
Celestia sent her guards away and turned to Twilight and her friends.
“It is true Twilight. I have taken the necessary precaution of spreading out Canterlot forces across Equestria to help provide protection in all parts of the land.”
“This would never have happened if we had just listened to you in the first place.”
Celestia raised a hoof.
“No, Twilight it was inevitable for Ajax to eventually return. I only tried to delay that day.”
We mustn't dwell on the past, we must worry about Equestria’s future. That is why I called all of you here.”
Celestia cleared her throat.
“It upsets me greatly what I must ask of you girls, but know that I am only asking you this because we need you now more than ever."
“Whatever you need princess we gotcha covered!” blurted Rainbow Dash.
Celestia spoke with a heavy tone.
“I need each of you to embrace your elements of harmony again to obtain the elements power and help us defeat Ajax. The elements will enhance your powers similar to the time you defeated Tirek, but on a much lower level. I am aware that I am asking you girls to go to war, so it is understandable if you refuse. I will not hold it against you.”
“You want us to fight Ajax? Like on the battlefield?” said Rarity.
“Yes, we need all the help that we can get. We need to ensure that what happened at the Crystal Empire does not happen again.”
“Um excuse me princess, but I don’t think that I would be much help on the battlefield.” squeaked Fluttershy.
“That’s alright, like I said I completely understand if you choose to not accept.”
“Wait, aren’t the elements of harmony still in the tree of harmony?” asked Twilight.
Celestia noded and looked at one of her guards. It took only seconds for them to bring in a colorful chest. Celestia opened it with her magic and revealed the elements of harmony. The gems glowed with their glorious light and illuminated the room with the colors of the spectrum.
“The elements can only be away from the tree for so long before the everfree forest grows out of control. So those of you willing must choose now before we take them back to the tree.”
Rainbow Dash was the first to step forward.
“I am ready SO ready to kick some human butt!”
Twilight stepped forward looking at Rainbow Dash.
“I am also ready to help in whatever way possible.”
“I am with y’all as well.” Applejack adjusted her hat and smiled at her friends.
Pinkie Pie wheeled a massive cannon forward.
“Super Duper Mega-Awesome Party Cannon 5000 at your service!” Pinkie Pie saluted Celestia.
The princess nodded and looked at the last two ponies. Rarity and Fluttershy looked at the ground trying not to make eye contact with Celestia.
“I am sorry princess, but the sight of blood causes me to faint.” said Rarity still looking at the ground.
Celestia chuckled.
“Relax you two. As I already said before no need to explain yourself to me.”
Rarity and Fluttershy smiled at Celestia.
“Now then, are the four of you ready?” said Celestia as her horn began to course with magic.
Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie and Applejack assured the princess that they weren’t going to back out. Celestia’s horn glew with magic as each of the ponies corresponding element of harmony shot a ray of light onto them lifting them into the air. When the bright light vanished the four ponies were slowly lowered back to the ground.
“I don’t feel any different…” said Rainbow Dash.
“Neither do I…” said Twilight Sparkle.
“I feel it. Doncha feel it?” Pinkie Pie was bouncing around the throne room.
“My Pinkie sense is going off the chaaaarts!”
Rainbow Dash stretched her wings and flew into the ceiling.
“What the!?”
The cyan pony crashed back into the floor. She slowly sat up placing a hoof on her head.
“I don’t remember being that fast.”
Celestia was concerned that the ponies were going to harm themselves.
“Please take it easy girls, we don’t know what special powers the elements gave you yet.”
Rainbow Dash slowly stood up on her hooves.
“I kind of think I know what happened to me…”
“Look out below!”
Pinkie Pie crashed down on top of Rainbow Dash.
“Whoopsies…”
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Trixie woke up face down in an open book. She picked herself up and looked around the room. She obviously had fallen asleep while reading a book last night. Trixie sat up and stretched her hooves.
“Studying hard I see.”
Trixie heard the robotic voice, but Jax-4 was nowhere to be seen.
Trixie closed the book and walked over to a nearby bookcase and placed it back on a shelf.
“Are you ignoring me?”
Trixie looked up to see Jax-4 sitting on top of the tall bookcase flipping through the pages of an old book.
“I have no business with you. I am far too busy for idle chat.”
Jax-4 jumped down from the bookcase and dropped the book on the floor.
“Funny, when Ajax isn’t around you sure like to act high and mighty.”
The book glowed with pink magic and lifted off the ground back onto a shelf. Trixie still ignoring Jax-4 started to walk past the robot. A sharp silver blade appeared in front of Trixie’s path.
“You don’t respect me because you think I won’t kill you like Ajax would?”
Trixie stared at the robot and looked at his samurai blade.
“I think it has more to due with the fact that you couldn’t kill me”
Jax-4 lifted his sword and swung at Trixie. A pink shield of solid magic quickly appeared out of nowhere blocking the sword.
“Then let’s test your theory...pony.”
Trixie’s horn glew with bright pink magic as the robot flew into a nearby bookcase. The bookcase collapsed toppling into the opposing wall. Jax-4 sprinted out from under a pile of book with both hands on his samurai sword. Trixie jumped back and lifted the robot with her magic. Jax-4 slowly levitated over Trixie’s head, his sword barely out of reach. The machine pointed its right arm at Trixie and shot a pulse of yellow energy. Trixie dropped the robot as electricity ran through her.
“There is more where that came from.” said the robot.
The robot slowly twisted his forearm locking in a different barrel. Trixie shook off the static and glared at the robot.
“Let me show you why they call me ‘The Great and Powerful’!”
Trixie’s horn sparked with magic.
“I picked up this spell last night, tell me what you think.” said Trixie with a smile on her face.
Jax-4 widened his stance gripping his sword in front of him. Suddenly a loud crunch filled the room. The two turned to see Ajax leaning in the doorway eating an apple.
“Sad, I sent out a robot to pick up some real food, but looks like I forgot how much I didn’t like apples over the last thousand years.”
Trixie and Jax-4 stared blankly at Ajax as he took a final bite from the apple and threw it away.
“Don’t mind me, I will wait until you two are done doing whatever.”
Ajax turned and left the two to do as they pleased. Jax-4 looked at Trixie and put away his sword. Trixie’s horn grew dim as Jax-4 walked away.
“Don’t think this is over pony.” said Jax-4 as Trixie followed him up a spiral staircase.
“Your lucky, I was about to turn you into a paperweight.” whispered Trixie.
The two stepped into a grand room with a steel throne at the very end. Ajax was sitting on the throne with one leg hanging over an armrest. Robot soldiers stood guard at his sides.
‘What an interesting room.’ thought Trixie.
Trixie was looking at all the decorations that adorned the wall behind the throne. Ajax stood up and approached the pony and robot.
“Do you like it? I decided that I needed a room to do my thinking.”
Jax-4 looked around before coming to a conclusion.
“Looks like a throneroom…”
Ajax placed his index finger on his chin.
“Huh, kinda does I guess. Anyways the factory has produced enough troops to replace the ones we lost at the Crystal Empire so I think it’s time we move on with our plan.”
“Time to take down Celestia?” asked Jax-4.
“Sadly I don’t think we would be successful if we were to try something like that.”
Ajax scratched the back of his head while pacing in front of the robot and pony.
“Then what do you plan on doing?” said Trixie.
“Well I was hoping that you could help me with that Trixie.”
Trixie eyebrows shot up in surprise.
“Me? What makes you think I have any idea what to do?”
Ajax held up a piece of paper.
“The robot I sent to pick up food happened to bring back a local newspaper.”
The paper read “Crystal Empire attacked by human” in huge black letters.
“Word of our success in the north has spread throughout Equestria. We’re quite famous now.”
“So?” said Jax-4 as he glanced over the newspaper.
“ ‘So?’ I am sure not everyone in Equestria finds this upsetting. There must be at least someone left in Equestria who doesn't side with Celestia.”
Ajax turned to Trixie.
“That’s where you come in. Who in Equestria do you know would be willing to help us defeat Celestia?”
Trixie didn’t need to think long before giving her answer.
“There is someone...She attacked Canterlot herself not to long ago. I think if there is someone who would be willing to help you she would be your best bet.”
“Well go on. Who is it?”
“Queen Chrysalis.”
Ajax smiled.
“A queen huh? That means she must have an army of her own.”
Trixie noded.
“She commands the changelings.”
Ajax frowned. He slowly turned to face Trixie.
“Changelings?... I hate changelings… They are disgusting parasites that are the scum of the earth.”
He shook his head while letting out a shiver.
“Why did it have to be changelings…But...if you believe that Chrysalis would be willing to help us I suppose we must pay her a visit.”
Ajax pointed to one of the robot guards.
“Go and prepare the army. We leave immediately”
“Why do we need an army?” asked Trixie.
“It’s always good to display your power when trying to make new allies.”
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The air smelled of fresh flowers as the calm spring breeze blew across beautiful green hills. Little critters scampered through the lively forests as the voices of songbirds filled the air. The ground slowly shook as the songs were drowned out by a thunderous march. A massive army of soldiers and war machines stomped across Equestria toward the Badlands, home of the changelings. The robot soldier’s perfectly coordinated march shook the ground sending all wildlife fleeing. A sole eagle soared overhead trailing the army. The eagle had thick white brows and a large fang.
‘My, that was easy…’Extremely cautious’ right Celestia?' thought Discord before flying off into the distance.
It was the middle of the day when Horizon Star burst into Celestia’s throne room.
“Celestia! Discord claims to have found Ajax. He is leading an army out near the hills of Unicorn Range.”
“Go wake my sister immediately! We will intercept him before he can cause any damage.”
Guards rushed throughout Canterlot lining up in formation. Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie woke to the sound of ponies scrambling in the streets of Canterlot.
“What in tarnation is with all the ruckus…” groaned Applejack as she rubbed her eyes.
When Twilight saw the commotion she knew that it had to be about Ajax.
“Let’s go see what exactly is going on.”
Twilight and her friends rushed out of their hotel room. Spike woke up and saw that everyone else had disappeared.
‘Um...Where did everybody go?’ wondered Spike as he scratched his back scales.
The four ponies scrambled through the streets until they found Celestia dishing out orders to other ponies.
“Celestia! What’s going on?!” shouted Twilight Sparkle
Celestia turned to Twilight Sparkle. Twilight’s eyes went wide in awe. Celestia was covered from horn to hoof with gold armor. Thick sheets of metal covered all four of her legs. Her chest was covered with exquisite layered armor that was engraved with an elegant design. Her horn jutted out from underneath a massive gold helmet that covered her entire head. Her mouth was covered up by a part of the helmet, filled with holes in a checkered pattern. When Celestia had turned to face Twilight the part of the helmet in front of her mouth split and retracted into the sides of her helmet.
“I am glad you and your friends are here Twilight. I was worried that we were going to have to leave without you. Hurry, follow me to my ship.”
Celestia didn’t even wait for them to respond. She immediately turned and went back into her castle.
“Wait hold on princess! What’s the big deal here?” shouted Rainbow Dash
Celestia continued to walk as she looked back at Rainbow Dash.
“Ajax has been spotted leading his army of robots. We are going to catch him off guard and stop whatever he plans on doing. Maybe, just maybe we also end up finishing this for good.”
The ponies entered a large room filled with soldiers boarding a massive zeppelin.
“It’s been a while since she has flown, but she has yet to fail us. Behold, the Skyline, our most powerful weapon.”
The four ponies were amazed by the giant sky fortress. The machine slowly lifted off the ground as the ponies stepped onto the main deck. Horizon Star and Luna were already at the helm instructing the crew.
“Sister! There you are. The Skyline is up and running we should be up in the air in no time.” said Luna.
Celestia stepped up to the window panes and watched as they rose above the ground. Legions of ponies could be seen marching out of Canterlot.
“Yooohooooo”
Discord appeared in the middle of the bridge.
“Discord?” said Twilight and her three friends in unison.
The four ponies prepared for a potential fight. Celestia stepped in front of them facing Discord.
“Discord. You are absolutely sure about what you saw correct? I don’t need to tell you what would happen if you were leading us into another trap.”
“I am one-hundred percent sure. I even took pictures just incase you didn’t believe me.”
Discord threw dozens of photographs into the air.
“This is serious Discord!”
Discord was wearing a general’s outfit.
“Oh. Right, right, right, my bad. You got to do the whole leading an army thing and what not. Best of luck with that I am looking forward to it.”
The Skyline sailed through the air followed by the massive army below. Celestia approached Horizon Star.
“When we find him you will be given commanding authority. I hope you are ready.”
Horizon Star was dragging a pencil across a map. The pony spoke still holding the pencil in his mouth.
“I know. The academy trained me practically my entire life for a moment just like this. Trust me, I will not fail you.”
Twilight was lost in thought as she stared out the window and watched clouds sail by. Luna caught her daydreaming.
“What are you thinking about Twilight Sparkle?” Twilight jumped.
“Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about Fluttershy and Rarity…”
Luna sat down next to Twilight.
“Do not worry Twilight they are safe back in Ponyville. Much safer than they would be here with us.”
Twilight nodded, but before she could say a word a siren went off. The two ponies sat quietly for a moment as the the high pitch siren sounded again.
“It’s time Twilight Sparke. I suggest you head to the armory and suit up.”
Luna walked off and looked back at Twilight one last time before leaving.
When Twilight reached the main deck she saw that her other friends had already suited up as well. Celestia grabbed a microphone and started to give out commands.
“We are only a few miles away from the enemy’s projected location. Activate the ship's shield and prepare for combat.”
Twelve unicorns gathered together in a circle their horns slowly growing brighter and brighter until finally a massive blue barrier formed around the zeppelin’s balloon. The massive sky fortress’s one weakness was now well protected. Horizon Star stepped up taking control of the helm.
“Alright, I want lookouts in all directions. If Discord was right he should be around here somewhere.”
Jax-4 had already spotted the massive airship and the army below thanks to his robotic eyes. Ajax watched as the Skyline slowly approached from the distance.
“They are still half an hour away, but they are going to catch us eventually.”
Ajax handed a pair of binoculars back to Jax-4 before looking at the terrain.
“Looks like Celestia still has the same damn skyship. We need to set up while we can or else we’re gonna get crushed.”
The Terrain consisted of rugged hills with valleys of trees in between. Ajax drew his swords and began barking orders urgently to his robots.
“Squad seven hide down in the valley’s tree lines! The rest of you take the high ground and set up ramparts for our long range artillery. Set up all A.P.W.s for their first assault. Jax-4, Trixie, you’re with me.”
Jax-4 drew his sword eager for battle, but Trixie was still hesitant.
“What’s the matter Trixie?” said Ajax as he raised an eyebrow at the motionless pony.
“She obviously is to afraid to fight. I propose we kill her now before she causes any more problems further down the line.”
Ajax raised an open palm towards Jax-4 without taking his eyes off Trixie. The unicorn looked up at the human biting her lip.
“I am not going out there and killing ponies. Do whatever you want to me I won’t turn into a killer!”
Ajax looked at the upset pony and started to chuckle. The man’s chuckle evolved into laughter.
“So what Trixie? Just go out there and knock a few ponies around. You have been in a fight before, right? I am not asking you to go out there like some mad butcher. Just make sure you knock them hard enough so they don’t get up until the fight is over.”
Trixie was now blushing embarrassed how easily Ajax had belittled her concerns.
“Now then, with that out of the way let’s hurry up we’re wasting time.”
A pegasus nearly fell out of her seat when she spotted Ajax in the distance.
“Horizon Star! Ajax is at our four, off the starboard bow!”
Horizon Star took a glance through a periscope before turning the helm a hard right. The ground forces following the Skyline continued to follow behind the behemoth skyship. Horizon Star took another glance through the periscope and saw that Ajax had set up on the high ground.
“Stop the main engine! Stay out of their cannon’s range! Pegasus ponies fall out and prepare for further instructions.”
Celestia stood by and watched as Horizon Star took charge. Ajax had waited to see what the ponies first move would be. When he saw the pegasus ponies deploy he shook his head with a smug grin.
“Ponies...Do they ever learn? Load the A.P.W.s get ready for pegasus ponies!”
Ajax waited, but none of the pegasus ponies ever moved forward. They hovered just out of his range next to the Skyline. The robots sat idly by waiting for the command to open fire.
“Why are they just sitting there? What the hell is Celestia planning?” said Ajax.
Horizon Star watched as the robot army waited for him to make the first move. He pointed a hoof toward Celestia.
“Celestia to your station, then prepare for further instructions.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow at Horizon Star. She was surprised by how callously he address her. Celestia gave him a nod, she stepped onto a platform that locked her hooves into place and sunk into the ground. Celestia emerged on top of the Skyline standing on the edge of a alicorn maidenhead. Ponies ran around adjusting a series of massive glass lenses that surrounded the princess.
Ajax finally had grown impatient waiting for the pegasus ponies to come in range of his anti-pegasus weapons.
“Load the long range artillery and fire at the Skyline! They are too afraid to attack us, as long as we have the high ground we are invincible!”
‘As long as I have the high ground my cannons have longer range and my soldiers can view the entire battlefield. Are they waiting for me to move or something? No, they aren’t that stupid.’
Ajax knew that according to the textbooks he had the advantage right now, but the massive fortress in front of him still made him uneasy.
Horizon Star pulled down a microphone from overhead.
“Spitfire. Come in Spitfire.”
A voice spoke muffled by the static.
“This is Spitfire, we are still awaiting further command like you instructed.” Horizon Star took a deep breath and whispered under his breath.
“Lets get started…”
“Alright Spitfire order all pegasus ponies to execute hexi-delta zephyr immediately!”
Horizon star flipped a switch on the radio.
“Ground forces push forward! On the double!”
Horizon Star quickly changed the channel of the radio again.
“Celestia! Prepare to fire on my mark.”
Horizon star tossed away the microphone and put the Skyline into full throttle.
“Ajax! Celestia is pushing forward with everything shes got! Give the order to open fire before it’s too late!” shouted Jax-4
Ajax picked up a pair of binoculars and saw the Skyline slowly advancing forward, followed by the Canterlot ground forces. The pegasus ponies that the Skyline sent out were...flying in circles?”
Ajax dropped the binoculars.
“oh...OH SHIT!”
Ajax turned around and started commanding soldiers to prepare the artillery for transport.
“Hurry up! Pack up everything and move down the other side of the range! Move it damn it!”
Trixie and Jax-4 were baffled at first, but when they saw the high speed winds slowly gathering around the pegasi they knew exactly what was going on. The pegasus ponies were creating six massive tornadoes intended to clear the path. When the robots finally prepared the weapons for transportation the tornado’s were nearly complete.
“Time to let them have it!” shouted Spitfire.
The six tornado’s lumbered towards the robotic army destroying everything in their path. Jax-4 looked back at the raging cyclones that slowly loomed towards them.
“Ajax! what about the soldiers in the valley!?” shouted Jax-4
“Screw the soldiers in the valley! I am worried about the entire army!”
The Skyline flew directly behind the twisters, but not too close. The forces of canterlot followed directly beneath the Skyline behind the tornadoes. Horizon Star watched as the robots scurried over the hillside trying to escape the tornadoes. Luna looked at Horizon Star with an uplifted spirit.
“They can’t fire upon us since they have to flee the tornadoes allowing us take the high ground which will give us the upper hoof. When all is said and done we should be overlooking a disorganized army with no chance to escape since the forest behind them would block their path! Genius!” exclaimed Luna.
Horizon Star smiled at Luna, everything had gone exactly as he intended it to.
“There is no front line stronger than that of a wave of tornadoes.” said Horizon Star with a victorious grin.
Twilight slowly bobbed her head.
“No arguing with that...”
Horizon Star pointed at Rainbow Dash.
“Rainbow Dash go out there and deal with any remaining anti-air.”
Rainbow Dash put on her standard issue pegasi goggles and shot Horizon Star a salute.
Ajax had finally got his army onto the other side of the hill. The raging sound of the six wind monsters still echoed throughout the valley. Ajax raised his sword and pointed it toward the top of the hill.
“Set up our artillery once more! They won’t see it coming once they cross the hill they will walk blindly into our trap!
‘Damn it Celestia! I don’t remember you being such a good tactician!’
When the tornadoes reached the top of the hill they had grown transparent and weak. The cyclones dispersed as Ajax saw a bright stream of colors shoot across the sky.
‘What the...What the hell was that?’
Suddenly, without warning, the stream of colors twirled and collided into one of his cannons. Before the smoke could clear the stream of colors shot back into the sky. Ajax was holding his arm in front of his eyes trying to shield himself from the destruction.
“That’s a pony! Fire the loaded A.P.W.s take it down!” yelled Ajax.
The robots fired the wide barreled cannon’s toward the stream of colors in the sky. The fragments sailed through the air but didn’t even come close to hitting the pegasus. Massive explosions filled the sky, but the pegasus pony continued to crash into siege weapon after siege weapon.
“There is no pony that is fast enough to escape these cannons! How the fu-”
Another artillery cannon exploded near Ajax cutting him off. Ajax peered through the smoke and stared directly into the violet eyes of Rainbow Dash.
“Rainbow Dash…?”
The pony shot back into the sky leaving only a trail of colors.
“You know that pony?” said Jax-4 who was using the barrels in his arms to blow away the smoke.
“We met once...I didn’t take her for much, but I guess it turns out she is the fastest pony I have ever encountered...fast enough to outrun every single one of my cannons.”
The pegasus pony disappeared back over the hillside,only after she had ensured that every last cannon was turned into a heap of destruction. Ajax pointed toward the top of the hill.
“Charge! Our last chance to even the battle is to retake the high ground.”
The robots charged forward fearlessly obeying their masters command.
Spitfires voice came on the radio echoing throughout the bridge.
“Horizon Star I have received word from Rainbow Dash confirming that she has destroyed all remaining siege vehicles.”
“Perfect Spitfire! Have your pegasi trail behind the Skyline until you receive further instructions.”
Horizon Star hit the switch on the radio.
“Celestia now is the time. Quickly, while the enemy is disorganized.”
Celestia’s horn glowed with a thick yellow magic. The sun overhead started to shine brighter and brighter. Ajax could feel the heat of the sun growing stronger by the second. Even the ponies under the shade of the Skyline felt as if the ground would sure burst into flames. A massive beam of light shone down from the sun towards a massive crystal directing it into a serious of focusing lenses around Celestia.
Horizon Star watched calmly as the ship slowly emerged over the hillside.
“Prepare to fire in three...two...one... FIRE!”
The moment the god-like ship crossed over the hill a massive beam of white light shot down cutting the entire slope in half. Ajax, Trixie and Jax-4 barely avoided being annihilated by the beam. The laser destroyed most of the remaining soldiers that were charging up the hill. A huge scar over fifty feet wide was left in the path of the laser.
“Push forward! Finish off what’s left of Ajax’s forces! For the Crystal Empire!!!”
The entire force of Equestria began to pour down the hillside crashing into robots. The robots tried to fight back, but were trampled under thick hooves reinforced with steel. Pegasi flew overhead providing assistance wherever needed, unhindered by any cannonfire. Jax-4, after looking at the crater left by the beam of light that had just nearly taken their lives, turned towards Ajax.
“I think we lost.”
Ajax stared blankly at Jax-4 before slapping him upside the head with the blunt side of his sword.
“Really?! You think?”
Jax-4’s head spun from the massive force. The robot grabbed his head and twisted it back into position.
“A little cranky are we?” said a voice.
Ajax turned to see Trixie standing up.
“Wasn’t me.” said the light-blue unicorn.
“Of course it wasn’t you. That’s because it was me!”
Ajax turned to see Discord knitting in a rocking chair. Discord held up a sweater with a depiction of Ajax’s face making a frown
.
“Would yo-”
Discord hopped up into the air narrowly avoiding being cleaved in half.
“Draconequus! Don’t think I have forgotten about you!” shouted Ajax.
Ajax jumped at Discord and swung his swords violently in a flurry of strikes. Discord narrowly avoided every attack before falling back to the ground.
“Missed me!” remarked Discord as he fell into a thousand tiny cubes.
Ajax dashed forward again with another onslaught of attacks. The man’s swords were drenched in black fire and with every swing the flames only grew brighter and brighter. Discord snapped his fingers freezing Ajax in his place.
“Calm down already. What’s gotten into you? I haven’t even introduced my-Ooo!”
A blast of black fire blew directly over Discord’s head leaving a little burning ember. Discord licked his fingers and put out the tiny fire.
“Don’t think I have forgotten about what you did draconequus!”
“What are you talking about! We have never even met before!”
Ajax slowly looked Discord up and down before relaxing.
“Could it be? There are two draconequui?”
Discord looked at Ajax puzzled.
“No, that’s impossible. I am one of a kind. OUCH!”
Jax-4 had plunged his blade directly into Discord from behind. Discord now had lost his patience due to all the hostility. He spoke with a ugly tone that was very different from his usual sarcastic manner.
“FINE! If you are going to act so rude forget it! I hope Celestia finishes your pitiful race!”
Discord rolled himself into a spiral that grew smaller and smaller until it he finally vanished.
“Yeeeeeeeeehaw!”
Ajax, Trixie, and Jax-4 seemed to have forgotten that they were in the middle of a battlefield.
An orange pony reminded them of the fact by crashing in between them and sending each one of them flying. Applejack slowly stood up and adjusted her hat. Jax-4 retaliated instantly. He jumped into the sky and raised his sword over the back of his head. Before he could ever touch the ground a wave of rainbow colors blindsided the robot and sent him flying. Ajax gripped his swords ready to attack, but heard a familiar voice behind him.
“Heya!”
Ajax turned around, but no one was there; when he looked back, a massive boxing glove was flying at his face. Ajax caught the glove with his gauntlet and looked past to see Pinkie Pie holding the device.
“Pinkie Pie...?”
Ajax looked past the pink pony and saw that the orange pony was also a familiar face.
“Applejack...?"
Ajax crushed the boxing glove with his gauntlet and swung at Pinkie. Ajax couldn’t believe his eyes. The pink pony just vanished into thin air. He looked up to see Applejack galloping towards him. She turned her body and kicked her hind hooves at him. Ajax took the blow directly to his chest and slid across the ground. He coughed into his left hand, he saw splotches of his own blood.
“Nice kick… Now how did a regular pony like you manage to pull that off.”
“You might not have realized it when you met us, but me and my friends represent the elements of harmony! Face it you can’t win!”
Ajax turned to see Twilight Sparkle slowly flying down with Rainbow Dash.
“I had a feeling you would be here, alicorn…So, you ponies control the elements of harmony? Well that’s surprising… I wonder why Trixie never mentioned something like that.”
Twilight was shocked to hear him say her name. She looked over and saw Trixie slowly standing up still recovering from getting the wind knocked out of her by Applejack.
“Trixie! How could you side with someone like him!?”
Ajax charged Twilight the moment she looked away.
“We have come to the agreement that if she helps me destroy Celestia, I will help her destroy you!”
Twilight gasped, Ajax charged, dragging his large onyx sword behind him. Rainbow Dash flew towards Ajax, but her face crashed directly into his elbow. The blue pony spun as if she had smacked into a brick wall. Ajax swung his sword at Twilight. The blade sliced through the air trimming off a few strands of hair from the alicorn's mane. The mighty blade crashed into the ground, Ajax lifted his arm and shot a blast of black fire at the stunned princess. Twilight flapped her wings and shot into the sky. The two stared at eachother anticipating the others next move.
Ajax placed a finger on his earpiece.
“All remaining soldiers push forward until you are destroyed! Trixie! We’re getting out of here!”
Ajax shot black fire from both of his hand creating a massive wall of flame.
Rainbow Dash shot up into the sky, but by the time she could see over the wall they had already escaped into the forest.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When the sunset came, a wave of darkness slowly washed over countless robot machines. A massive horn sounded from the Skyline signaling victory. The cheers of ponies filled the air. Ajax’s army was decimated with only a handful of ponies injured from the fight. Horizon Star was reading messages about the aftermath when Celestia stepped into his office.
“Princess? How can I help you?”
Celestia now was wearing her crown and usual attire.
“I just wanted to tell you that we are close to Canterlot.”
Horizon Star nodded as he continued to read the reports.
“Thank you.” whispered Celestia
Horizon Star looked over at Celestia who had a heartwarming smile on her face. Horizon Star blushed and stood up from behind his desk.
“F-for what?”
Celestia frowned and looked down at her hooves ashamed.
“Nearly everyone here was pessimistic about your skills as a general. We all didn’t expect you to defeat Ajax so easily.”
Horizon Star organized a stack of papers with a discouraged look. Celestia thought she might have offended him.
“You proved us all wrong though so no need to feel bad. We were foolish to ever doubt you. We all know how great of a general you are now.”
“You know, I didn’t want to join the academy.”
Horizon Star picked up another pile of papers and began stamping them with the royal seal.
“What do you mean?” asked Celestia.
Celestia watched as the pony continued to work unhindered by their conversation.
“I wanted to be a royal guard when I was a young filly more than anything. I thought their gold armor was the coolest thing in the world.”
Horizon continued to stamp the papers.
“When I was of proper age I enlisted for the position, but as you are aware no earth pony can become a royal guard. I mean sure their are a few, but they have fathers who know certain types of ponies. Although I had top scores and unwavering devotion for Canterlot I was rejected, not even given a chance.”
Horizon Star started to stamp the papers with excessive force.
“That’s why I am a general. They thought that it was a glorified position since Equestria hadn’t seen a war in so long. Looks like I proved them wrong today.”
Horizon Star slammed the last paper, got up, and walked past Celestia. Celestia calmly watched the pony as he walked away from her.
“Maybe you should stop judging books by their cover Celestia. Some ponies might surprise you once in a while, if you give them the chance.”
The Skyline slowly docked back into a massive hangar. Ponies cheered and cried as they were reunited with their loved ones. Celestia, Luna, and Twilight watched as all the ponies were unloaded from the zeppelin.
“This victory shall give them hope…” said Luna.
“We will host a party to celebrate our victory.” said Celestia as she started to walk away.
“Wait! Ajax is still out there though! Don’t we need to go after him?” cried out Twilight as she ran after Celestia.
Celestia looked back at the purple Alicorn who had called out to her. Luna placed a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder.
“Please Twilight… These ponies have been living in fear up till now. We should do our best to make sure that they continue to feel safe.”
“But they aren’t safe! I saw Ajax escape with my own two eyes.” said Twilight.
“He doesn’t have an army now… So we have time before we need to take action again. I know you might not like it, but you must understand.”
Celestia and Luna both left leaving Twilight alone. She remembered how close Ajax’s blade came to taking her head off. Ajax clearly wasn’t going to stop just because his army was defeated.
“They have no choice whether to host a party or not, too many fat cats need things to go back to normal or else they will continue to hemorrhage bits. They don’t want to get on the bad-sides of the ponies with all the wealth, even if they are the princesses.” said Horizon Star, he must have dropped in on the alicorn's conversation.
Horizon Star smiled as he walked past Twilight and left the ship.
“TWILIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Twilight’s eardrums ruptured from Pinkie Pie’s voice.
“See guys, I told you that you needed to be a little louder.” giggled the pink pony.
Twilight spun around still in shock from the decibel level of Pinkie’s voice.
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Pinkie pie stood below her on the hanger floor.
“Come on Twilight! We’re still waiting on you!” shouted Applejack.
Twilight and her friends returned back to their hotel room exhausted from their day.
“Spike!” shouted Twilight as she opened the door.
Spike poked his head out from behind a corner.
“Twilight is that you? TWILIGHT!”
The dragon pounced and hugged Twilight. Spike gripped her tightly with his claws.
“Oh Twilight! I thought something bad had happened to you! Why didn’t you take me with you?”
Twilight rolled her eyes and walked over to her bed.
“Lets talk about it in the morning…” said Twilight.
“Yea...sleep sounds mighty fine right about now.” said Applejack with a yawn.
“You said it!” said Rainbow Dash as she stretched her legs.
“Did you guys hear that Celestia and Luna are throwing a party?” said Pinkie Pie sluggishly as she face planted into a bed.
The four had ponies collapsed in their beds leaving one confused baby dragon to ponder what just happened.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The dim moonlight scattered throughout the leaves of a tall oak tree. Two figures sat on a large branch as the leaves swayed in the breeze.
“So, are we just going to wait here for him to show up?”
Trixie had grown bored since she had already finished the book she brought along.
“Yup.” said Ajax.
He was laying against the trunk of a tree starting into the starry night sky.
“Elements of harmony...huh” whispered the man.
Trixie looked over at the Ajax who had been talking to himself. She shook her head and placed the book she had just read back into her bag.
“Maybe Rainbow Dash took him out with that hit.” said Trixie.
Ajax shrugged and sat up.
“You could be right. I guess we head to the Badlands without him then.”
Ajax hopped off the massive branch and landed on the forest floor below. Trixie slowly glided down next to him. She hurried to catch up with Ajax who already had gone ahead, but she heard a noise behind her. Trixie looked back to see Jax-4 slowly limping towards her using his sword as a crutch. The robots right face was completely busted and his right leg reduced to only loose wires. Jax-4 looked up from under his beaten metallic hat and stared directly into Trixie’s eyes.
“@#%&@%&@&%@@”
The robot clearly couldn’t speak anymore. Trixie watched as the robot fell to it’s knee and reached out towards her.
“Trixie! Hurry up or I will leave you behind.”
The unicorn turned to the direction that the voice came from.
“Coming!...”
Trixie turned and walked away from the robot who watched as the she slowly trotted off into the night. Jax-4 rolled onto his back and stared into the night sky. The moonlight illuminated the motionless robot laying on the forest floor. He accepted that this was his final moments as he held his sword over his chest.
Suddenly he was lifted into the air and started to move through the forest. Ajax had lifted up the robot and thrusted him over his shoulder. The robot looked up and saw that Trixie was following Ajax. The unicorn looked at the robot that was staring intently at her.
“What are you looking at?”
The robot slowly reached for his hat and removed the metallic disc and handed it to Trixie. Trixie took the hat and looked at her reflection in the chrome disc. She looked back up at the beaten robot.
“You’re welcome.”
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Cheating fucking scumbag ponys and their stupid magic
damn it if only he had longer ranged weapons i would have loved for him to knock celestia off her high and mighty ass and whats this about a second draconiqus
things are getting really interesting
i cant wait to see more keep up the good work
Man, I REALLY want Ajax to kick their ass and show them that us humans are the most badass motherfuckers ever!
Horizon Star watched as the robot army waited for him to make the first move. He pointed a hoof toward Celestia. WTF did he turn pony when i wasnt looking?
Damn it both sides are god damn kids playing war. Ajax under estimated the ponies and Celestial sends 4 untrained civilians to war granted there national heros but they are fucking civilians with no training. A ragtag group of mercs are better tactician's then these two. As for rainbow dash she is lucky the robots can't seem to lead a target or she would be dead. I'm done I wish you the best but it hurts to read.
5120728
when I hear that I think tf2
Y'know... For the amount of time you spent building up this guy... I really expected more.
From what I understand, he's supposed to be a tactician, a genius warrior bred for war, and trained in all things military from the day he left the womb. He supposedly lead his forces to wiping out several civilizations, forcing the rest of the world to band together to cobble together the forces necessary to stop him.
From what I've seen in the last two battles, You could have just as easily told me "He played a few games of Civ 5 once", and I'd have believed it wholeheartedly. His whole battle strategy has amounted to 'I have more guys, so charge!'. I could practically see him telling his army 'Make sure to clog their weapons with your bodies before you die, kay? Thanks!'
Don't get me wrong, as hackneyed and cliched as the concept of the 'bad-ass super warrior-general' is in the HiE scene, it can still be viable if you know how to write the character correctly. But the problem here is that this guy has no idea how to be a resourceful tactician, mainly because I'm assuming you have no idea how to be a resourceful tactician. The lack of knowledge shows, which is unfortunate because revenge stories tend to be few and far between in this fandom.
The first thing a tactician should be aware of when commanding an army is what resources he has available on hand. He completely ignores the strengths and weaknesses of his own army (and no, noting that they aren't high quality doesn't count as evaluating his forces), choosing to waste a horrendous amount of resources because, hey, he has an infinite amount anyway. Which, now that I mention it, totally ruins the tension of all future battles, since he could produce a limitless amount of these things.
So far, every encounter has been a zerg rush on his part, mainly because he knows so little about the enemy. This results in a hilarious mismanagement of resources, and a much closer battle than it really should be, given his apparent technological superiority.
Twice now, he's obliterated enemy forces using artillery and other ranged weapons. Clearly the technology is up to snuff here. It's just that the brains behind the army aren't nearly as potent as they should be. Ordinarily you could chalk up this issue to the commander being completely unfamiliar with the tools he has at his disposal, but this is not one of those cases. Someone trained from birth and with a success record like the one he has under his belt should be aware of the importance of this kind of information, and would have taken the time to get to know his troops before deploying them.
Twice now, he's rushed into a battle he wasn't prepared for because... reasons, I suppose. You could argue that he's still pissed over being used like that, but even his enemies seem to be under the impression that he'd act with a clear head in the future, something he clearly isn't doing.
The second thing he neglects is his opponent's strength. Someone who wages war for a living would never go into a large scale battle like that without at least some idea of what his opponent's strengths were. I'm not talking about Celestia, either (though he was laughably unprepared for that, too). I'm talking about what she was bringing to the battlefield. Her army. What it was comprised of. What their equipment consisted of. What their modes of transportation were. What their abilities consisted of. What level enemy morale was at. You know, any and all things needed to properly ascertain the opposing force's strength.
Someone who previously lead a successful campaign would know that he needed that information before the battle began. The only reason someone would ever operate without even trying to find out anything about the enemy is when they are ambushed. Thing is, though, Ajax KNEW that the enemy was coming. If he, for some reason, didn't expect them to be coming to him, how did he know to spot them an hour before they got there? Or to take the high ground (I'll explain in a second why that didn't work).
No, he knew they were coming. But did he send out a scout? Or maybe attempt to seed some spies in the enemy cities? Or hell, set up a couple cameras as they went along? We know they have radio, and JAX-4 is capable of seeing, so cameras must exist in some form. Why did he completely forego trying to scout the enemy out? It makes no sense given how you built him up.
Lastly, Ajax ignored any army's greatest potential ally/enemy. The terrain.
Sure, he took the high ground, at first. But what beats a height advantage? A better height advantage. And what's the best height advantage there is? Air superiority. What does the enemy have in spades? Air superiority.
You can't tell us he never fought ponies before. Not only did he supposedly once almost take over the world, but Celestia confirmed that many good ponies gave their lives to bring him down.
So he'd HAVE to know about pegasi being able to control the weather. He has anti-air cannons supposedly designed to take them out, but was unprepared for them to lob tornados at him, because....?
It makes no sense.
Moreover, how could he have not known about the airship? Granted, it makes sense that he'd be surprised that it still exists after a thousand years. Sure. I'll take that. But to never expect them to produce more? To think that the enemy wouldn't ever produce a fleet makes very little sense. Sure the shock value of seeing the SAME airship would be palpable. But to not expect any?
He should have been prepared for that, if he's fought them before.
If he knew he couldn't hold an engagement here, he would never have attempted to fight the enemy. If he felt confident that he could have held it, he would have positioned himself better, and would have done something other than 'Go kill yourselves for me, I'll go pop the next army into the EZ-bake'.
Being surprised by the elements of harmony? I can give him that. It makes little sense for them, as untrained civilians, to be there.
On that note, the only reason the war is so close to begin with is both sides are apparently being run by a potato with googly eyes glued on to it. The Equestrian defense was run poorly before General Actually-has-a-Brain stepped on to the scene. And while her moves were tactically sound, they are only effective because Ajax is apparently being made to carry the idiot ball.
My advice here is to put more thought into the battle scenes. A lot more thought. You wrote a pretty colossal check with all the build up for this guy. And so far? He isn't cashing it in. Not even close.
Try to think of those three points from both force's perspective. It will help you draw out a more concise, realistic, and (frankly) more exciting battle.
That's just the stuff I can think of off the top of my head. I won't even get into how 2-dimensional everyone seems to be. Except Ajax, who seems to be 1-dimensional.
I mean, for God's sake, man! You just found out your people are dead! Don't you care?! Most people would have survivor's guilt, or perhaps blame themselves by so obviously being tricked by Celestia, and allowing themselves to fall for it.
But nope. It's Celestia's fault. I'm okay. I did nothing wrong. Ajax smash now.
So far, all he's done is act like an unlike-able ass. Not even a hint of sentimentality to the last creations of his long dead friend. Nothing. Not even a drop of emotion other than Angry or Smug for no apparent reason.
Now, this would be okay if it was written satirically. Like an Angry Marine in Equestria or something like that. That would be hilarious! But this seems to be meant as a drama.
Frankly, as a drama, you're not doing enough to make your characters relatable or likable. Give us more insight into Ajax's mind state. What is it like knowing that your friends died for nothing? How is this effecting him as compared to how he'd normally act? How does he feel, morally, about what's going on right now? How does he feel about being used? How is he coping with these feelings?
So far, there's been no emotional difference between day one in the Everfree, and now. That's not a good thing.
And please, put something besides 'mad' in there. Anything.
And lastly, tone down his reactions to EVERYTHING. He's coming off as a bit bipolar here. He seems to go from content to bat-shit fucking pissed in seconds.
Hope that helps just a little bit.
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"The first thing a tactician should be aware of when commanding an army is what resources he has available on hand. He completely ignores the strengths and weaknesses of his own army (and no, noting that they aren't high quality doesn't count as evaluating his forces), choosing to waste a horrendous amount of resources because, hey, he has an infinite amount anyway. Which, now that I mention it, totally ruins the tension of all future battles, since he could produce a limitless amount of these things."
I understand what your saying, but the first battle wasn't something he was taking very seriously. The battle against the Crystal Empire happened because he wanted to take a few pokes against Cadence, just to see how she would react. The sooner he did it, the less likely Celestia would be able to respond quickly, which would be nice since he knew that he would have to flee the moment she got there because he wasn't ready for a battle against Canterlot forces yet.
Having an endless stream of soldiers could make him undefeatable, unless they figure out his location...
"So far, every encounter has been a zerg rush on his part, mainly because he knows so little about the enemy. This results in a hilarious mismanagement of resources, and a much closer battle than it really should be, given his apparent technological superiority.
Twice now, he's obliterated enemy forces using artillery and other ranged weapons. Clearly the technology is up to snuff here. It's just that the brains behind the army aren't nearly as potent as they should be. Ordinarily you could chalk up this issue to the commander being completely unfamiliar with the tools he has at his disposal, but this is not one of those cases. Someone trained from birth and with a success record like the one he has under his belt should be aware of the importance of this kind of information, and would have taken the time to get to know his troops before deploying them."
The second battle caught him off guard. (I definitely could have made it more clear that it was a surprise attack.) He would have prepared if he knew that his location had been scouted, but he had been spotted by Discord disguised as a bird-like creature.
The battle-field should also be somewhat even due to magic and technology balancing themselves out.
"Twice now, he's rushed into a battle he wasn't prepared for because... reasons, I suppose. You could argue that he's still pissed over being used like that, but even his enemies seem to be under the impression that he'd act with a clear head in the future, something he clearly isn't doing.
The second thing he neglects is his opponent's strength. Someone who wages war for a living would never go into a large scale battle like that without at least some idea of what his opponent's strengths were. I'm not talking about Celestia, either (though he was laughably unprepared for that, too). I'm talking about what she was bringing to the battlefield. Her army. What it was comprised of. What their equipment consisted of. What their modes of transportation were. What their abilities consisted of. What level enemy morale was at. You know, any and all things needed to properly ascertain the opposing force's strength."
I assume this is directed towards the second battle, which was something that he wasn't supposed to see coming. Ajax would have loved to flee the battle with his forces, but he knew that if he tried to outrun the ponies, none of his heavy artillery would be set up, when they caught. (Wings move faster than legs.) Maybe if he knew that Celestia had employed the shape shifting spirit of chaos he would have been on the lookout for more than just pegasus scouts. Ajax was well aware of the potential that Celestia's forces possessed (which was the reason he was headed towards the Badlands to recruit the help of Chrysalis.) The only thing he could do given his current situation however was try to setup and hold his ground.
"Someone who previously lead a successful campaign would know that he needed that information before the battle began. The only reason someone would ever operate without even trying to find out anything about the enemy is when they are ambushed. Thing is, though, Ajax KNEW that the enemy was coming. If he, for some reason, didn't expect them to be coming to him, how did he know to spot them an hour before they got there?"
He didn't expect them to be coming. It was just easy to spot an enormous vessel that covered a small portion of the horizon.
"No, he knew they were coming. But did he send out a scout? Or maybe attempt to seed some spies in the enemy cities?"
A reason he might've decided to accept the idea of working with changelings, despite his feelings towards the race.
"Or hell, set up a couple cameras as they went along? We know they have radio, and JAX-4 is capable of seeing, so cameras must exist in some form."
I hoped to explain this in the future, but I don't think it would be that much of a major spoiler if I explained it now. The way Jacks science worked was by combining both magic and science. Jack never developed electricity or programming, he used magic to solve most of the problems. By gathering magic (through enslaved creatures) he was able to funnel the energy into crystals (let's call them mana crystals.) These crystals could be charged with magic (similar to a battery), thus Jack only had to mechanically design the bodies/frames of what he wanted to create. Magic could also be twisted into giving creations sentient life (think about summoned beings, or bringing inanimate objects to life.) That is a super quick explanation of what I had in mind so I understand if it's still pretty unclear and doesn't make much sense.
"Why did he completely forego trying to scout the enemy out? It makes no sense given how you built him up.
Lastly, Ajax ignored any army's greatest potential ally/enemy. The terrain.
Sure, he took the high ground, at first. But what beats a height advantage? A better height advantage. And what's the best height advantage there is? Air superiority. What does the enemy have in spades? Air superiority.
You can't tell us he never fought ponies before. Not only did he supposedly once almost take over the world, but Celestia confirmed that many good ponies gave their lives to bring him down.
So he'd HAVE to know about pegasi being able to control the weather."
He was able to figure out what was happening before Trixie and Jax-4, which did end up saving the army...for a bit. He didn't have many options, he was in a pretty crummy situation.
"He has anti-air cannons supposedly designed to take them out, but was unprepared for them to lob tornados at him, because....?
It makes no sense."
He moved the cannons off the hill, which prevented them from being destroyed. Problem avoided, cannons can be used to deal with the pegasi. However, once again, he didn't know about Rainbow Dash's speed (Which is the fastest pony he's every seen, since he claims that it is impossible for any pegasus to out-fly Jack's cannons, but she managed to pull it off.
"Moreover, how could he have not known about the airship?"
"Looks like Celestia still has the same damn skyship"
"Granted, it makes sense that he'd be surprised that it still exists after a thousand years. Sure. I'll take that. But to never expect them to produce more? To think that the enemy wouldn't ever produce a fleet makes very little sense. Sure the shock value of seeing the SAME airship would be palpable. But to not expect any?"
He wasn't shocked to see it. He was more upset.
"He should have been prepared for that, if he's fought them before.
If he knew he couldn't hold an engagement here, he would never have attempted to fight the enemy. If he felt confident that he could have held it, he would have positioned himself better, and would have done something other than 'Go kill yourselves for me, I'll go pop the next army into the EZ-bake'."
Taking his army with him was only meant to show off his power to Chrysalis, in the hopes that it would help persuade her to assist him. He could've ran, but wings for the most part will outrun anything on the ground and besides, he's got nothing remotely close to run to.
"Being surprised by the elements of harmony? I can give him that. It makes little sense for them, as untrained civilians, to be there. On that note, the only reason the war is so close to begin with is both sides are apparently being run by a potato with googly eyes glued on to it."
:(
"The Equestrian defense was run poorly before General Actually-has-a-Brain stepped on to the scene. And while her moves were tactically sound, they are only effective because Ajax is apparently being made to carry the idiot ball.
My advice here is to put more thought into the battle scenes. A lot more thought. You wrote a pretty colossal check with all the build up for this guy. And so far? He isn't cashing it in. Not even close."
I am very aware that my early chapters need help.
"Try to think of those three points from both force's perspective. It will help you draw out a more concise, realistic, and (frankly) more exciting battle.
That's just the stuff I can think of off the top of my head. I won't even get into how 2-dimensional everyone seems to be. Except Ajax, who seems to be 1-dimensional.
I mean, for God's sake, man! You just found out your people are dead! Don't you care?! Most people would have survivor's guilt, or perhaps blame themselves by so obviously being tricked by Celestia, and allowing themselves to fall for it."
He might've lost all feelings while being stuck in the Everfree Scar, but the conversation he has with Trixie was supposed to show that he is capable of regaining his personality. Hopefully he will be able to defeat one-dimensionalism!
"But nope. It's Celestia's fault. I'm okay. I did nothing wrong. Ajax smash now."
The reason for him jumping the gun on blaming Celestia was that he was trying to find something to blame other than himself.
"So far, all he's done is act like an unlike-able ass. Not even a hint of sentimentality to the last creations of his long dead friend."
Someone who had to fight for survival for a thousand years might be a little grouchy.
"Nothing. Not even a drop of emotion other than Angry or Smug for no apparent reason."
Who would he wish to share his feelings with at this current point of the story?
"And please, put something besides 'mad' in there. Anything."
My writing improves throughout the chapters, since I learn new skills as an author. (Or at least that's what i would like to think.)
"Hope that helps just a little bit."
I really hope you don't think that my response is just a rebuttal to everything that you said. I know very well that my story needs a lot of work, but I just wanted to tell you was thinking when I wrote the chapters at the time. Your comment is very valuable to me and actually contains more helpful criticism than all other comments posted so far, combined. I just really wanted to tell you what I was thinking at the time, so you don't think I'm stupid.
Cool yes, practical no.
And I’m saying it right now but nethier the ponies Ajax forces or himself hope to win a war against the US and it’s allies plus they might have better tech but we have better tech and some that have a far larger range they can be fired from plus a weapon that can single handedly destroy or Evaporate an entire city in a single blow and those who survive well fallout will take care of that. Heck even destroy the world.
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Well not him but those in modern times are the best or at least those that aren’t idiots.
Aka the final boss of the world America
*faceplam*
Then that’s what taxes are for get everyone to pinch in.