• Published 8th Aug 2014
  • 1,280 Views, 30 Comments

Humans and Ponies Don't Mix - Masked_Frenchman



Hector had everything he wanted in life. An awesome job, a beautiful and kind girl friend, and a nice house. Then everything changed after the accident.

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We Truly Aren't in Kansas

Hector looked up in almost disgust at his new home. A large wooden house that looked almost unsteady. There seemed to be a hole in the roof, seeing a patch of hay missing. A window at the top was cracked. One wall seemed to have a small hole the size of his head that was blocked off with a few boards nailed over it. It looked like a poor/homeless person’s house/shelter. They look to be pretty far back with technology. I bet they don’t even have cars!

“Is this place even safe?” Lyra looked back annoyed.

“Yeah I know it doesn’t look like much. I’m still fixing up the place. Just come on before anyone sees you,” Hector took a deep breath and just went along with it, although it was against his better judgement. He walked in quickly to prevent being seen. Once inside it actually looked relatively nice and cozy. The furniture was a little small for him, and the ceiling was almost touching his head. He was obviously too big for the household. He had to duck to get through the doorway.

“So, umm, nice place you got here. It looks rather nice, for a pony I mean. Not what I expected,” Lyra looked back with an almost charming smile, as if trying not to boast.

“Well I tried to at least make the inside look nice, and I’ll admit, I like to have nice furniture for my living status,” Hector chuckled at that, trying to contain his laughter. Lyra cocked her head to the side in confusion, having to tilt upward to look up at him. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just that you didn’t say the sentence right. It’s suppose to be ‘my living situation’. It sounds more fluid and smoother,” Lyra rolled her eyes at him and softly glared at him.

“Well I tried, my special talent isn’t spelling,”

“Grammar actually,”

“You know what I mean!

“ It’s fine, don’t worry about trying to sound smart. Just be yourself,” The strange being in front of him sighed and nodded, relaxing herself. With a little blush forming, she smiled softly towards him.

“Well, I guess I can do that,” Lyra turned away and started walking over to her bedroom. “Just give me a second to get my important stuff out of here,” She didn’t wait for a reply, she just walked in and made sure she was out of sight, hiding behind the door frame. Once she knew she was safe, looking back to see if he was watching her, she looked back and brought her front hooves to her face and did her best to contain a girly squeal.

“Oh sweet Celestia! I can’t believe it! Here in my very house, I have my very own human, and he is living with me! Oh this is so much better than the time me and Bon Bon went to the Equestria Games in The Crystal Empire together! Oh if she could see me now!” Lyra whispered to herself in condensed excitement. She tried her hardest to keep her voice down, the last thing she would want to do is weird out her new favorite idol, he looked uncomfortable about this whole situation as is.

Lyra shook her head and walked around in the bedroom, collecting things that were her’s. She walked out of the room with an arm load of things, just things like her socks, a basket of mane products, and some papers. Hector looked at the things with an expression of concern.

“You don’t have to bring out so much stuff. I’m more than happy to sleep on the couch,” Lyra shook her head and smiled, putting the stuff down on a chair by the window.

“No, it’s fine. I doubt you could lay on her comfortably anyway. Don’t worry, alright?” She walked over and offered him a seat in the chair opposite side of the window, smiling. Hector shrugged his shoulders and sat down on the couch next to her. “You might be really confused about everything. I mean one day you were in your own world like any other ordinary day, then suddenly here you are, in a world of ponies,”

“Yeah, that sums it up quite a bit. I have no idea where I am or what the hell is going on here. Can you just start from the very beginning and treat me like I am a little kid?” Lyra opened her eyes at that request. She wore a face of confusion and slightly weirded out.

“You wanna to be treated like a baby goat?” Hector shook his head at that, startled.

“What? No. Just. . . . treat me like I know nothing then,”

“Oh, well ok. That I can do. Might want to try and get comfy, there’s lot’s to tell,”

“Well I got all the time in the world now,” Hector stated as he leaned into his seat, placing his heads firmly behind his head. “Just tell me everything,”

Celestia’s great sun slowly lowered past the horizon to the west, creating beautiful and elegant colors streaking all across the coming night sky gracefully. All this time as the day faded to introduce the night, Hector had been listening to Lyra Heart Strings tell him everything about the new world he had entered. The towns, the kingdom, the rulers, currency, pastimes, favorite hobbies, magic, races, economy, everything. Hector struggled to understand some parts such as magic, whether control, the Everfree Forest, and the past villains.

“So there is a god of. . . discord, who terrorized the world and created a world of suffering. . . is now friends with these. . . alicorns and is now a good guy? You just forgave him that quickly?” He asked in confusion and disbelief, scratching his head puzzled. Lyra laughed nervously at the question, realizing how silly that did sound.

“Yeah, he sometimes hangs out with the elements of harmony from time to time. Like this one time I saw Twilight and Princess Cadence hanging out with him while he was sick. They don’t do it very often and they seem to find him annoying, but they do seem like friends now. After Tirek, he stays around Twilight’s new tree house,” Hector rubbed his eyes.

“Geez, my head hurts. This is a lot to process,” Lyra smiled foolishly.

“Yeah, I bet it is a lot to take in. I mean some of this stuff still baffles me sometimes, and I live here,”

“Look, a lot of this stuff just goes against everything I believe and know. I mean in my world, the weather can’t be controlled,” Lyra jumped to that in excitement.

“You mean the weather changes all by itself?!”

“Yeah, we haven’t found a way to do that. We don’t have magic, we have science. We don’t have dragons, breezies, gryffins, or gods,”

“For real?! Like you all look the same?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” He looked up at her past his rubbing fingers. “We have blacks, whites, native americans, asians, hispanic, and more. We have races, but it’s mostly a color change, not a lot of physical difference,”

“Really? So you all can do the same thing?”

“Right! Like a black guy can run just as fast as a white guy. A hispanic can be just as smart as a native american. An asian can fight as well as a black guy, so on and so forth. it all really depends on how you live your life and how well you take care of yourself when you grow up,” Lyra’s eyes were wide open in excitement.

“Cool! You’re all equal then?”

“Not exactly,” Hector sighed and turned to look outside the window. He saw small groups of ponies walking around, trying to get back home for that night. “We have problems you don’t. We have racist people who think one group is better than the other, we have government corruption, crime everywhere you go, global problems like lack of food, water, kindness. My world has many problems,”

“Oh my, this sounds like a horrible place to live,” Lyra’s ears dropped down in sadness.

“Not at all. It’s what you make of it,” Hector turned to face her, slightly smiling. Lyra looked at him confused.

“What do you mean?” Hector closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, filling his lungs with the, still foreign, air and let it out softly and slowly.

“No matter what surrounds you, whether it be crime, hate, corruption, destruction, famine, you have a choice. You can either let it all consume you and turn you into exactly what you are surrounded in, or you can find your own happiness, your own joy. You can choose to find positivity or let yourself get pulled into the negativity,” Lyra stared blankly at him, baffled and stunned by his words.

“That is amazing. Like really beautifully spoken!” Hector laughed, waving his hand at her.

“Please, I read that straight from a book! I’m now Shake Spears or anything,” Lyra narrowed her eyes curious.

“Who is he?”

“He was an amazing story writer and theater script writer. He made amazing, breath taken plays that are still known to this day! I loved many plays of his, and enjoyed many quotes he had said,”

“Sounds like you really like him,” Lyra stated playfully. She smiled warmly towards him and leaned back in her seat, sitting just like him.

“Well. . . Yes I can say that. To be honest, I would have loved to meet him. Try to figure out how he could make such beautiful art with just words,” Lyra held her smile as he spoke. He realized he was standing up. Not sure when he did, but he did usually get excited when talking about topics such as this. He cleared his throat and sat back down, keeping his back straight. “Sorry, I got a little carried away,” She giggled at that.

“Not a problem. I sometimes get carried away when I talk about humans with my friends,” Hector’s eyes perked up at the word ‘human’.

“Wait, you know about humans?”

“Yeah, i’ve always had this feeling that humans exist, I just could never prove it,” She rolled her eyes annoyed. “My friend Bon Bon for example, always said ‘If humans exist, we would have known about it already’. Geez she knows how to take the fun out of it,”

“Do humans exist in this world?” Hector asked intently, leaning closer over to her.

“Well. . . no. Not in this world, except for you. You are the first human anyone has ever seen. Isn’t it cool? You are the very first human to appear here in Equestria!”

“I guess so, being apart of history, but it wouldn’t be worth much if I can’t get back home and tell about it,” Lyra’s smile faded at that, her ears deflating a bit.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Hector shook his head, leaning back in the couch, sighing.

“Now I’m stuck here in this world with no way of getting in touch of the other side,” The unicorn sitting next to him frowned depressingly at him. It seemed that this was going to be harder than she thought. Suddenly, she saw a smile form across his flat mouth. “but at least I found someone who is willing to give me a hand and help me out,” He said optimistically, his eyes trailing over to her. She smiled back and gave him a hard nod.

“I promise to try and help you out in any way I can! I promise, as Celestia as my witness, I will get you settled her!”

“Not exactly what I want, but that helps out. Thanks, Lyra,” The pony in question smiled nervously at him, leaning over and placing a hoof on his leg. He looked down at it, noticing that her hoof was just barely bigger than the palm of his hand. hector placed his hand on her hoof, nodding at her. “It means a lot to me,”

Lyra took her hoof back, blushing and smiling in a silly manner. She felt her heart race a little bit from his touch. She was flooded with mixtures of amazement, bliss, excitement, and maybe even desire. She shook her head at that thought. Don’t you even think about it, Lyra! Behave!

“You ok? You look like it’s world war three in there,” Lyra focused back to Hector who was smiling at her confused.

“Oh, uhh, it’s nothing, really!” She smiled nervously once again, making him laugh a little. “What?”

“Sorry, it’s just that you look like the government is watching you and you are setting me up or something,”

“What?! No! I would never!” Hector waved his hand at her again.

“Relax, I’m messing with you. Just trying to lighten up the mood,” Lyra looked at him confused for a good minute but then a smile started to form, followed by some laughter.

“Oh, I get it. Do you humans joke around like that back in your world?”

“Yeah, Sort of. People have different styles and opinion in humor. Some like political humor and some like stupid humor. We all have different tastes,”

“Oh, I get it. So you guys aren’t much different from us then,”

“I don’t think so. We have some similarities but we are far from the same,”

They sat there in silence, not sure what to say next. Lyra looked at the window, trying to find something to talk about. I have been waiting for this exact moment all of my life, and now I am finally have a human right here, right now, sitting in front of me, and NOW I can’t think of anything?! Come on Lyra, think!

Lyra looked up at the sky to see the moon had rose into the sky and she felt a slight hunger ping in her stomach. An idea came up and she turned back to Hector, who was looking at the detail of the couch he sat on.

“Hey Hector! Want some dinner?” The curious human turned to her with a smile, rubbing his stomach.

“Sounds good to me. Oh god could I go for a burger!” Lyra thought about that and went over to her coin purse. She counted it carefully and smiled victoriously, her back to him. She turned to him with a big smile.

“You want burgers? I think I have enough for the local burger place near by,” Hector smiled a large smile, like he finally saw the light of hope for the first time in his life.

“Oh thank god you guys have burgers! Maybe this world isn’t so bad. Yeah could you get me a large, big king meal and a whopper, and a sprite to go with it!” Lyra tilted her head to him with a raised eyebrow and a strongly confused expression firmly place on her face.



“ I should have saw that one coming. No Burger King then?” She slowly shook her head.

“No, we don’t have a ‘Burger King’,” She suddenly started smiling. “Wait, are you telling me you have a king of burgers in your world?!” Hector signed again, shaking his head.

“No, it’s just the name of the fast food joint. Just get me two double cheeseburgers and two large fries, and what ever soda that you guys have here,”

“Soda?”

“Son of a bitch!” Hector faced palmed his head hard, making a loud slap. “Get me whatever they have for a drink. I don’t mind,” Lyra nodded her head slowly.

“Alright, ummm. Are you coming with me?” Hector shook his head, putting down his hand.

“No, I don’t want other horses seeing me just yet. Let’s just keep this our little secret, alright?” Lyra smiled and nodded at him.

“Good point. Alright, I’ll be back as soon as I can!”

“Thanks. Hurry up if you can. I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse,” Lyra looked at him in terror and shock, lifting her hoof up to her chest protectively.

“You eat horses where you come from!?”

“No I don’t eat- no!” He looked at her annoyed, leaning. “We don’t literally eat horses, it’s just an expression. A saying that we say to explain how hungry we are. We don’t eat horses, eww,” Lyra relaxed at that and sighed in relief.

“Og thank Celestia. For a second I thought I was in danger or something,”

“Naw, I’m a peaceful kind of guy. I couldn’t hurt a fly,”

“Good to hear. I’ll be back shortly, alright?” Lyra stated, grabbing her coin purse and slinging it to her side and putting on a bag at her hips. Hector smiled shortly and waved.

“Alright. I’ll be here waiting,”

“It won’t be long. See ya!” She waved good bye and went out the door, leaving Hector on the couch. He exhaled outward, trying to relax a little. He glanced around the room again, trying to study and examine everything. He slowly got up and looked around at the picture frames. He saw pictures of Lyra with a pony with dark blue and purple hair and a yellowish body, but she didn’t have a horn.

“Ok, so that must be an earth pony because that one doesn’t have a horn or a wing,” He looked over to a different dresser in her room that showed Lyra and a male looking winged horse holding her. He had silver hair and a greyish body. On the bottom of the photo said. “With love, Thunderlane”.

“That must be a pegasus because he has wings. Looks like a boy friend, or maybe an ex that she hasn’t moved on from. Hard to tell at this point,” He looked around the bedroom and stared carefully at the bed. He slowly laid in it, giving it a test. Once he got comfortable, he noted that his ankles dangled at the bottom.

“Horses here are short, duly noted. I’m gonna have to find a way to make that work,” He got up and opened up the closet. There he found a few sets of clothes, mostly dresses, and only a handful. “Ponies don’t wear clothes very often, but that I kinda already knew,” He was about to close it when he saw a little red and green box at the bottom of the little space about the size of a shoe box. It had some neat handwriting saying “Private photos, do not open” and was wrapped loosely with a green string.

“Well how am I supposed to ignore it now? Damn, I hate my curiosity. You just had to be a natural scientist, huh dad?” He sighed in defeat and slowly picked up the box, taking it out of the closet. He went over and sat on the bed, the little box sat flatly on his lap. “I wonder what could be in here?” He looked around as if Lyra might be standing next to him and then looked down at the box. He unwrapped the string carefully and slowly lifted the lid seeing a bunch of photos in a messy pile. He put the lid down next to him and took the first phot he saw and brought it too his face.

“Hey It’s Lyra, and she is laying with- what the?” He took a closer look at the photo and his eyes shot open in horror and surprise. “Oh my god, no no no!”

In the photo Lyra laid on her back with the pegasus ‘Thunderlane’ on top of her. Her legs spread apart wide with him laying between them. His front hooves planted firmly right above her head and he was grinding his teeth and his wings shot straight out behind him. Beads of sweat could be seen on his forehead. Lyra had a face of ecstasy with her mouth wide open and a bit of drowl coming out the side of her face. She had sweat all over her body and her hair was a mess. If he looked carefully he could see the males pe-.

“Oh god, that’s it! I’m done! I’m so done!!” He quickly put the photo back in the box and slammed the lid back on it. His hands shook slightly and his eyes quivered in fear and shock. “What has been seen can not be unseen! Why. . . why. . . . WHY?!?! *He shook his head violently and shot up from the bed. He grabbed the box and ran over to the closet. Hector dropped the box back in it’s place and shot the closet door closed.

“I wish I could scrub my eyes out, or maybe my brain! Oh my god, that was. . . . Just. . . just horrible!” She shook his head again as if to shake the mental image seared into his brain, but to no avail. He slowly walked over to the chair that Lyra sat on and stared out that window. His body twitched every now and then when the image resurfaced during his attempt of forgetting.

What felt like hours of waiting later. He heard the door twist open and he turned his head to face it. Once the door opened, he say Lyra walking in with two bags floating around her with some sort of yellow aura holding them up.

“Hey Hector, I got back from-”

“Holy shit those bags are floating!!!” Hector shouted out, pointing at the bags behind her. She raised an eyebrow confused and looked back to see the bags. She laughed and turned back around.

“Oh, that? Yeah, basic magic. Learn it in magic 101. This is nothing, really,” Hector stood up from the couch and came over to look at the bags.

“That is so cool!!! Wow, just look at them! Floating like that without you touching them,” He swiped his hand above and below the bags, getting more and more excited and impressed. “No strings, now secret glass levers, nothing! There is nothing above or below them. Nothing around them either. It’s just like magic!” Lyra blushed bashfully and smiled to herself.

“That’s because it is magic, silly. Now come on, your food is getting cold,” Lyra walked into her place, putting the bags down on the table, letting go of her grip around them. Hector was still astonished at the scene, his mouth partially open in amazement. He sat down at the table, the chair a bit too small for him but he managed. His eyes never left the bags.

“That is so cool! Real live magic! This is incredible! I’ve never seen anything like it!” Lyra rolled her eyes with a playful smile.

“Oh come on. It was nothing! Every unicorn can do that. You should see Twilight Sparkle if you like magic so much. She has mastered so much magic and can do so many cool things. She defends this town with that magic. If you want I can try to get her to come here and see you,”

“Yeah, Twilight Sparkle. I think she was one of those horses that had the wings and horn who were around when I woke up. Maybe that is a good idea. She is a princess after all. She should be able to help”

“Exactly, she is a- wait. How did you know?” Hector shrugged his shoulders as he pulled out his food, laying it in front of him and started opening his burger.

“I figured out that those with both the horn and the wings are alicorns, and alicorns seems to be a symbol of royalty of some sort. Am I wrong?” Lyra shook her head, getting her food with her magic.

“You’re pretty much dead on. All alicorns are princesses,”

“I thought so. Well, thank you for the food, means a lot to me!” He finished opening his burger and licked his lips in excitement and hunger. “Oh I am so hungry!” He held the big burger with both hands firmly wrapped around it. He took a big bite out of the burger and chewed happily. He stopped after a bit and gave a good taste of the food. “It tastes. . . odd,”

“What do you mean?” Lyra asked as she took a bite out of her own food. Hector coughed for a second and swallowed, gagging.

“Oh god, these are veggie burgers! Disgusting!”

“What are those?” Hector glared over at her and then back to his burger.

“It is disappointment with in every bite. It looks like the real thing, but it taste nothing like it. Then again, I should have seen it coming. Last I knew horses don’t eat meat, so of course I shouldn’t be able to find any meat to eat. Just forget about it. It’s doesn’t matter, thank you again for spending money on me,” He forced a smile on his face as he took another bite. He chewed as quickly as he could so that he could be done with it.

“So humans eat meat?”

“Not all of us. We have a good portion that don’t eat meat, and then another group that refuse to eat anything that came from an animal. We have a large variety of people back in my world,” Lyra smiled gently, taking another bite from her burger.

“It looks like it. Wow, I wish I could see it all! You are so lucky to have hands like that,”

“Are you kidding me? I would cut my own hands off if it means I get to use magic!” Hector exclaimed with excitement. “I would have fun with that all day,”

“Well I guess we have different opinions then, huh?”

“As to be expected,” They both looked at each other and they both laughed at the same time. Hector laughed simply because he thought he would be alone in this strange, new world, and he was lucky enough to just be able to find someone who is kind and generous enough to take him in and even feed him. Lyra laughed because she had been alone for a few months in her house, but now had someone to live with her and keep her company, and he was a human to make it better. It’s like finding your favorite idol homeless in the streets and you take them in and help them get back on their hooves, or feet in this case.

“Thank you,” Lyra said suddenly. Hector slowed his laughing and looked up to her smiling.

“Why are you thanking me? I didn’t do anything,”

“No. . . not directly, but I am still glad that you decided to live with me. . . for now I mean. It means a lot to me,” She explained, smiling nervously and bashfully. Hector shook his head and waved her away.

“You don’t need to thank me. I’m crashing here on you so suddenly,” Lyra giggled to herself. Hector chuckled a bit with her.

The rest of the night went well. They finished eating, talked about things in their worlds and touched up on their personal lives. Hector was uncomfortable about it but he answered her questions the best he could. She, on the other hand, was more like an open book. She told him about stuff he didn’t even ask. Talking a mile a minute at some points. He didn’t mind it though. It was kind of pleasant to him.

Hector laid in Lyra’s bed wide awake. He felt the desire to sleep, but just could not tread there. His mind was still trying to realize that this was happening. His old world was lost to him, maybe forever. If he was going to survive this new world, he would have to learn how to blend in and how to fit in. So many things to learn, so many things to research and study. He needed to live here until he can find a way to escape.

“How long will I be here? Will she remember me? Will she even forgive me?” Hector asked to know one, only to himself. He shifted to a more comfortable position under the covers which did a very poor job at doing. Maybe you don’t have to leave.

“What the? That wasn’t my thought!” Hector whispered to himself.

You have so much potential here. You could start all over. A fresh, clean slate.

“Ok, now this is freaky,”

Just think about it. Who knows, maybe you will like this world more.

“Ok, I don’t know what’s going on, but there is no way this place is better,”

That’s because you are not giving it a chance. You’re smart, analyze everything around you, and keep an open mind about your surroundings.

“Who are you?”

The one who brought you here.

“What? What do you mean by that?!” Hector waited for a minute but only heard the sound of his rapidly beating heart and his short, shallow breaths. “Answer me! Who are you?!” Still there was no answer. He grew more angry at that but gave up. He squeezed his eyes shot and tried to finally get some rest.

After an hour or so later he finally managed to do just that, but his sleep was not at all rest full. For during his sleep. . . he remembered his home.

Author's Note:

I am down, but not out! I am back everyone, but still only doing my freelance stories for now. Just to get all warmed up after all this research and studying. I'll still be doing a little of that but, you know how it is, life gets in the way sometimes. :ajbemused: Anyway, Here is Humans and ponies don't mix. I don't write it much because it bums me down a bit, but I thought this would be a good one to start out with. My writing style should be better now, and more enjoyable to read :twilightsmile: If you have any questions, feel free to message or comment and I will answer ASAP. Wanna say something mean? If it makes sense and as valid points against me or my stories, I would love it. So anyway, you guys will be seeing more of me now, so I will see you all in due time, and we can pick up where we left off. Also, holy cow, 52 followers? You guys are just too kind! :pinkiehappy: I hope you guys enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I hope to see you all in the future chapters ahead. Have a wonderful morning/day/evening. Bye bye for now, my friends. It's good to be back :twilightsmile: