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Misty Fly dreams of being in the Royal Guard and has the skills to do it, but there's just one problem. She isn't intimidating at all. The Royal Guard tries to remedy this by assigning her to a program run by Iron Will. If she passes, she can become a member of the Royal Guard. Naturally, things don't go exactly as planned.
Takes place 18 months before the pilot episodes.
Thanks to Elusive Element and Frostfur for proofreading this story.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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OOh, excellent concept. I like unusual ideas like this that throw away basic molds.
So far, this seems promising.
Very well done! I'm curious where this goes.
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Thanks for the comments!
Will read once it's finished.
You have definitely improved in your writing style since our previous encounters. Can't wait to see how Iron Will whips those under him into shape.
4857149 Thank you!
I'm really enjoying it so far and you've definitely improved from your earlier work, don't worry about it!
4871341 Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.
4871342 You're welcome!
Freaking Iron Will doesn't have an Iron Stomach. Looks like his plan backfired on him there.
I like this story a lot. It's a lot less predictable than a lot of others, and the characterization is nice.
4876924 Thanks for the compliments.
Unusual dream is unusual. Also, can't wait to see another Iron Will blunder.
I wouldn't be surprised if Ponyville is actually infamous for being a disaster magnet.
Also, this chapter is... interesting. The plot is moving on and in ways I'm not expecting, which is cool.
And he wonders why his business is failing. He's such an irresponsible boss. It doesn't really look good on him if he tells his students to haggle and he goes off gambling his money.
Another great chapter as always
4895350 Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
FRIENDSHIP!
Yeah, this is another solid chapter!
4896537 Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
I just figured out this story is getting reviewed by Twilight's Library.
Will keep you updated with what the contributor says!
I just read the news on this story, they're thinking about letting it into Twilight's Library! Remove that hiatus now!
4902005 Okay, it is no longer on hiatus. I'll think about how to progress the story from here and resume work on it. Thank you for still being interested in the story. It makes me feel happy.
Okay, I'm just going to point out a couple inconsistencies I noticed that may be barring it from greatness. Note, these are just subjective, principal things, so although I'm just pointing out one instance of each, it applies to any areas that you feel fall under the same error.
That is terrific description, but the sentence seems to meander for too long. I'd suggest watching out for overly lengthy sentences, and dividing or trimming them.
You've used proper nouns far too much here, and in other spots. Once you identify who's speaking and/or acting, it's easier on the eyes and mind if you use "she, he, they" and so on.
And I've also learned that you can use shortened versions of their names in tags, like "Misty" or "Amethyst", once you've identified them as the present character(s).
4902228 Thanks for the tips. I'll edit this where I can.
I want to see how Iron Will gets knocked down. It seems like the fic can finish at any time at this point.
I'm really liking Misty Fly as a character as well.
4920088 I'm glad that you're enjoying it.
I'm curious to how this will go... .
Moving along quite nicely here. Also, I feel like that unicorn and alternate dimension is a reference to something. I can't point it out though.
4938722 The unicorn is Sunset Shimmer and the alternate dimension is the human world in Equestria Girls.
4938725
Oh, right. Sounds like my mind is on the fritz again.
I hope this isn't the end.
4959391 The next chapter will be the conclusion. Sorry, but all things must come to an end eventually.
4959394 Aww, fine.
4959402 I hope you enjoyed what I had to offer.
4959403 I did, very much so.
4959410 That's nice to hear. I'm glad that I was able to entertain you.
4959414 I'm sure that many share my opinion.
This chapter was wonderful. I definitely appreciate the morals of friendship here.
4959560 Thank you. I'm glad that you liked it.
This is a nice, sweet chapter that brings the plot to a close. You've done well.
4959637 Thank you.
A wonderful end to a wonderful story. Always keep writing, Manaphy, because you are better than what you believe you are.
4964581 Thank you very much for the support. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Lovely ending. I'm glad she made the right choice. One thing, though. That piece with the poster felt very unbelievable, like it was just there to be there. Maybe if someone was walking and levitating it and crashed into her or something, but having posters come to life and jump on faces from streets just won't work. Sorry.
4965929 I'll edit it and have it make more sense. Thanks for pointing that out.
4965940 Okay, no problem. Also, I don't think this qualifies as gore. That tag doesn't really fit.
4965942 Thinking about it and the description of blood in the first chapter, you're probably right. Also, I changed the bit with the poster to make it more clear. I wanted to have it so that a poster was carried off by the wind and landed on Misty's face. I guess I didn't make myself clear.
4965955 Ah, cool.
4965989 Yeah. That part with the poster must have slipped my mind. Looking at it now, it reads better and there's at least some buildup with it and the wind carrying it off. Anyway, thank you very much for catching that error of mine. If you don't mind, would it be okay if I ask you any questions regarding future stories of mine when they come up?
4966000 No problem. And no, I don't mind. I'd be glad to help you with your stories.