Stay Together For The Kids

by Closer-To-The-Sun

Stay Together For The Kids

My home is haunted. Not by ghosts, in the traditional sense. Rather, it's haunted by the screams and the anger between my parents. It makes it hard for me to sleep at night, knowing that goes on in just the other room between them. And it's even more so to wake up in this dark and sad house, to face another day.

I don't even remember the first time they fought. But I do remember the first time I witnessed it with my own eyes. Waking up in the middle of the night to their anger hurting my ears. It was about a year ago, but I can recall it all to well. For a few minutes, I saw sides of my mom and dad that I never knew existed. Such hatred for one another, it frightened me. They stopped when they noticed I was present. After reassuring me that it was just a one time incident, they went and took me back to bed. "Never again" is what they swore, but I knew that was a lie. They still fought, but now they tried to hide it.

Of course, they couldn't keep it a secret forever. One day, my parents took both my brother and myself aside and told us that they were going to separate. The news hit us hard. Sure, I had trotted in on a fight, but it doesn't change how it impacts me. It felt like I was being cut by a thousand little thorns. I don't exactly remember how I reacted. I think I cried right then and there, I'm pretty sure I did. What I am sure of is that once I got to my room, I sobbed into my pillow until I fell asleep. It hurt.

I isolated myself for a few days after that. In fact, the only pony I talked to for a while was my older brother, Osmium. He tried to be strong for the both of us, but I knew that wasn't easy. He was hurting just as bad as me, if not worse. I asked him once, what's going to happen now that mom and dad are going to separate. He couldn't give me an answer. He admitted this to me, "I really don't know, Diamond Tiara. I wish I knew."

I don't understand why they were upset with each other. I thought moms and dads were supposed to love each other no matter what. It just doesn't make sense to me. When I ask one of them why they're separating and fighting and all of that, they just tell me it's complicated. Can't they just make it not complicated? I see them everyday and they seem to get along fine with each other, but if they are doing this so we all can be happy, then why is there just so much pain? Why does it hurt so much? Shouldn't we fix the problem instead of just ignoring it? It just doesn't make any sense.

I talked to my dad about it once before the announcement of their separation. It went along the lines of something like this:

"Dad? Um....I heard you and mom yelling again last night."

"Oh, no no. That wasn't us, it was the television," he lied to me, I realize that now. I know he wanted to not have me worry.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, Diamond Tiara. We were just watching a movie, that's all. There's nothing to be worried about."

There was a silence for a moment before I asked again, "Are you and mom mad at each other?"

"I promise you that we are not mad at one another." he lied again to protect me.

I still didn't believe him, "Is it my fault?"

That question completely shocked my dad, "What? Diamond, my dear, why would you ever think something like that?"

I was quiet.

My dad pulled me in for a hug. A warm, loving hug that I still remember fondly. "If there is one thing that you can always know to be true is that your mother and I love you no matter what happens. And, most importantly, there is nothing you can do to make us stop loving you, Diamond Tiara. You are our precious gem."

I think about that conversation everyday, but it still doesn't change of how guilty I feel. I know my dad insists that it's not my fault, but I can't help but feel like there was something I could have done to fix all of this. I still feel at fault.

Now in the aftermath of the separation, I stay with my dad while my brother stays with my mom. Every so often I see them, but it doesn't change the fact that I feel a million miles away from them. For the most part, I stay in my room. In there, I close my eyes and make believe that I have a new life and imagine what it's like to be somepony else. Anypony else. There are days when I just wonder what life would be like if my parents stayed together and we were all still one big, happy family. It's funny what can make you smile. But it doesn't change how bad I feel. Couldn't they just stayed together, for me?

My sadness slowly becomes a kind of anger. If it's really directed at anypony, it's myself for how things turned out. I don't want to feel this way but in my own anger, I shout how I just want my life to be the same, how it used to be. And other days, I just hate everything. I still don't know how it's going to be. All I know is that this is not right.

It's not right.

END

Comments

[Written Note]

Very simple and sweet. I think that a sequel would be very nice just to see and clear up what happens.

[Awesomo3000]

Wait. Do I feel... SORRY for Diamond Tiara?!

[youtube=youtube.com/watch?v=WWaLxFIVX1s]

[MichelleTwistaloo]

I will try my best to comment this story here. I hope the author finds this comment great and dandy.

So....the subject hits real close to me, I had the luck to have parents who endured through their marriage for my own sake, but tensions were high, and there were many times where I'd find myself peeking at their screaming at each other. As I grew older I tried to separate them, I too started to yell.

"That's enough!" - I'd say, or even "EVERY DAY!".

I still love them both dearly, and there's nothing that can change that, but I mean geez!

As you can imagine the subject hits pretty close to home to me. While my parents still remain together today and had more kids (my two sisters), I think they ressent each other, I think that they feel stuck with one another, and they just have to grind through with their teeth clenched for the next two decade or so, until the kids are out. I think it's hard for them, and while I appreciate their sacrifice, I feel kind of guilty for having them endure this.

My parents always tried to tell me how much those things were "Grown up" stuff, and I would understand them as I got older, they told me it was complicated. I'm reaching maturity, and adulthood in less than two years, and I still don't get it.

I just wanted to give some sort of small background to my feelings about the story. They hurt...kind of, but I think that there is importance in discussing the subject.

I feel for Diamond, this may just provide her a freudian excuse for her behavior, guilt often turns to rage, which turns to violence, I think you portrayed those feelings in a majestic manner. And I thank you for putting the cat out of the bag.

I have read many stories detailing the origins of Tiara's nasty attitude, and this is one of my favorites, if not my favorite of them all. I greatly enjoyed it.

Thank you for writing it!

[Closer-To-The-Sun]

4811075

First, I would like to say that I certainly found your comment truly wonderful.

When I wrote this I knew this would be a very touchy topic and I knew it would be a tricky item to write. I am really grateful that you shared your story and gave insight about why you felt how you did upon reading this fan-fic, thank you. I'm really sorry to hear about your predicament with your parents and I completely feel for where you are coming from. Heh, sometimes I wish I had a fic that I didn't add some sort of personal touch to.

I am really happy that you enjoyed this fic and thanks for your comment.

[MichelleTwistaloo]

4812161 Not a problem. I should be thanking you.

This was certanly hurtful to me, I came close to not reading the story right after I read the description, I was afraid I'd burst into tears. It's a very sensitive subject to me.

Despite that, I'm glad I did, no matter how counter productive it may seem, with all the dread and anxiety I was feeling as I read, I actually think it helped me out. See, I started to write to vent out my feelings. I focused on writing in english mainly because most people around me don't understand it well enough to worry about me. if I write something that'd sound suicidal and angsty (I learned the lesson the hard way, a friend of mine pushed a story I had shared with her to the counselour at my school, and I was forced to talk about my feelings, though talking about it, sometimes helps, repeating why and how I wrote such stuff, made me really feel self conscious about my own writing).

Most of the stuff in my profile has the "sad" tag, and you will notice, if you do check it (not that I'm telling you to) that most sad stuff is about Scootaloo, because well...the whole "no parents thing and self conscious about it" kind of speaks to me. Ya know?

I by no means am saying I don't love my parents, or that they mistreated me or anything, Not at all. I'm proud of the way they raised I'm just saying, I feel her.

I write to vent out, to shake a feeling out of me. My mood tends to vary wildly. And that's the reason you can see short colt and filly and colt on colt, and filly on filly, innocent romance, and Scootaloo self harming and Wailing out due to her lack of parents. I believe emotions are complicated, and if I can find a good way to expose them and take them out, that's swell and fine and all that.

As I was saying I read the story and then I made that comment. It hit me pretty hard, but it also made me appreciate just how much my parents love me to stick on together, despite the hardships.

I will admit something, I'm on my summer vacation, I spend my days just broswing random websites, and reading tv tropes, and playing flash games, and even checking some youtube videos. My mom and my dad arrived home, they rode together from work, and from the expressions on their faces it was obvious something was not right.

They try to contain themselves around me they really do, but with my sisters in a scout's camp (I'm no scout due to not having a religion, but that doesn't matter), I guess they saw fit to argue.

They didn't really offend each other, they just refused to listen to one another, I learned in philosopy that the point of arguing (ie) debating is to try to weight the two points of view and to get a consensus. They didn't do that.

I closed the door to my room, and heard the muffled screams, as I checked fimfiction to see if there was anything I could read to distract myself. I was feeling such anger, such guilt, such shittiness, in regards to myself, for once again forcing them to go through with this, that I seriously was about to run up to them and curse them out.

Long story short the story gave me some perspective, and it made me fell thankful for what I do have, I have one slightly disfuncional family, yes, but I do know that we all love each other (even my parents do love each other, even if that is obscured by their bad mood, after a hard day of work)

And ...hamburguers (I replaced a swear word) This comment is freakishly long, and I'm sure you don't want to hear about my angst teen life, but all I could say, if you don't read the rest of the comment.

Thank You

[Closer-To-The-Sun]

It's completely fine for your lengthy comment. To be fair, I have written a lot of stuff in a stream of consciousness and it turned out well ("All The Small Things", "I Will Follow You Into The Dark", and others).

And don't feel weird about just writing stuff to vent. I do it all the time. I shared some personal stuff that made me unable to finish the fic at the time due it being too much for me (particularly two fics, "Never Let Me Down Again" and "Jumper"). I hate to admit it, but there is a personal item in each and every story and I kinda hope somepony will figure it out. Maybe one day.

Anyway, there is nothing wrong with writing to just get emotions out. You're right, emotions are powerful, particularly raw emotions and that's what I love writing about. And those emotions in young characters (Spike and the CMCs, mostly) create good stories.

So, yes, thanks for reading again and, again, I'm really happy you enjoyed it.

(Also, I do hope you get a chance to read my other stories. I do have a Scootaloo fic in the works soon. And, if you'd like, feel free to message me if ya like)

[Telaros]

This was really emotional for something so short. You really handled this subject really well. I actually didn't think the question I saw coming would have as much impact as I thought it'd have. But it was worked up to in such a fine way. Short and respectfully sweet. Bittersweet, but sweet.

Not much I can say that hasn't been said, but thanks for writing this. I fully agree that subjects like this are worth telling. It was a nice way to end the night. Have a like and a well earned fav.

[Closer-To-The-Sun]

4812984 Thank you for your kind words and for reading!

[Regidar]

[Dapper Guy]

It's sad to see how kids think they're the problem in a bad marriage. They think they're the ones who cause all the problems, it hurts to hear how they think they caused everything to happen.

[Diamond Sparkle]

No wonder Diamond Tiara is so unpleasant in the show.