The Royal Apples: Into the Land of Neverwere

by Radical Gopher

Chapter 04

“Do youse really think this is a good idea?” asked Babs as she tried to keep up with the slightly larger stallion. “Trotting ‘round in public like this. Ay mean if anypony peeks under that cape Ay found for youse, the game’s up.”

Big Mac glanced down at his slightly smaller cousin and slowed his pace. “Y’all really don’t have ta come with me... not if it puts y’all in danger.”

“Hey... Let’s get some things straight here. One, Ay’m a cop. Danger is just part of the job. Two, Ay'm your my cousin. Maybe from a different world, but family is family.”

“What about Uncle and Aunt Orange? Y’all didn’t seem too fond o’ them earlier.”

“Just ‘cause Ay don’t like them doesn’t make them any less family. All that means is when Ay help them, they get a piece of my mind to go along with the help.”

“Ya sound a bit like Applejack.”

Babs nodded. “Yeah, we’ve got a lot in common. Anyways, back to what Ay was saying earlier... Third, anything Ay can do to help bring down that WORM will be gravy.”

Big Mac smiled. It felt good to have somepony watching his back, even one that was only about half his size. Of course, that was most ponies.

Babs pulled the stallion aside and pointed to a nearby bank. “We’re going to need some bits if we want to get passed the front door of the Carousel Boutique. Cover fee’s close to fifty apiece.”

“That’s pretty steep,” observed Big Mac. Then he did a quick double-take. “Wait a moment... Are y’all planning on goin’ in with me?”

“Well dah! Youse think Ay’m going to send youse into the lion’s den alone?”

“But y’all said it was a brothel.”

“What? Youse think they only cater to stallions? This is the big city. They swing any way there’s a profit to be made, well up to a point that is. They don’t push drugs and won’t tolerate drunks, so youse can’t go there planning on getting plastered. It’s a very high class establishment.”

Big Mac nickered slightly. “Ah wouldn’t have expected anythin’ less from Miss Rarity.”

“What? Youse know her?”

“Eeeyup. Far away and long ago... Relatively speakin’,”

The police pony looked across the street then nodded at the stallion. “Okay... Youse wait here,” Babs instructed. “Ay’m going to get us some fundage.” She quickly trotted up to the corner, then used the crosswalk and went into the bank. Her police livery had been replaced by a medium green cape with gold trim which matched her eyes. She still carried Old Pete, concealed within the cape in a special pocket.

Big Mac looked around, watching as several ponies went by. Though the sun had gone down, it still felt like it was late afternoon and the hoof traffic reflected that fact. It might have been just a typical street scene in any large Equestrian city, save for one thing. The stallion couldn’t help but feel as if there were a subtle tang of fear in the air. A fear that was reflected in the eyes of most ponies he saw. He hadn’t noticed it in Babs, but she was a police officer and was used to dealing with it. Now that he was out and about, every pony else he saw was held by the subtle miasma.

His cousin returned a short time later. “Here,” she said handing him a small purse. “Clip this under your collar and use it sparingly. Ay was only able to get us about 700 bits, so we have to make it last.” She watched as Big Mac fastened it onto his collar then pulled the cape up to hide it. “You know, that’s quite a rig you’re sporting there. ‘Specially for a farmer.”

“It’s a gift from ma fiancé. She called it functional and fashionable.”

“I’ll say... Oak and mahogany layered blend with some rather ornate carving, all trimmed with silver. Something youse don’t have to be plowing a field to wear.” Without warning she lifted the back of the collar to search for more decorations. “Wait... Is that an emerald, shaped like a green apple.”

Big Mac gently pushed his cousin away and lowered the collar back into place. “Let’s just say it’s a fancy piece o’ glass and leave it at that.”

“Hey...” whinnied Babs in annoyance. “I just busted my savings cause Ay thought youse didn’t have any money, and all along you’re carrying an emerald youse coulda hocked?”

“Nnnope. It ain’t an emerald and Ah cain’t hock it, even if Ah wanted or needed to.”

Babs looked at the stallion for a moment then shrugged. There just wasn’t any use arguing with the truth. They walked along in silence for several minutes until they reached the corner of 42nd and Broadway. This was Manehatten’s entertainment district. Musical theatres, Vaudeville, saloons, restaurants, arcades, nickelodeons and, of course, a small, select number of pleasure houses dotted the streets.

“Which way now?” asked Big Mac.

“Left. It’s the seventh townhouse on the right.” Babs looked up at the stallion. “Have youse figured out what you’re gonna tell Applejack when youse see her?”

The alicorn shook his head. “Nnnope. Ah’m actually hopin’ ta get both her and Miss Rarity together, along with any o’ the other Elements who might be about.”

“How many of these Elements are there?”

“Six... Countin’ Miss Twilight’s, but with her gone we’re gonna have ta find somepony else who can take on the Element o’ Magic.”

“So, youse figure you’ll find the other five Elements here?”

“Here, or close by... They’re all friends in ma world. That was even before Twilight brought them together as the elements.”

“Well, in case youse didn’t notice, this ain’t exactly your world.”

“Eeeyup.”

Reaching the townhome, the alicorn saw that there were very view indigent ponies anywhere along the street. That had not been true for most of their walk here. He asked Babs and she explained that the Lady Rarity, as she was called, had set up homeless shelters and soup kitchens several blocks over, giving ponies somewhere else to go rather than hang out on the street in front of her establishment. Big Mac thought it was rather clever, and reflected at least a little of the generosity she was known for back home.

Climbing the front stoop he watched as his cousin turned the crank on an elaborate, old fashioned doorbell. There was a moment of silence, then the door opened and an elegantly dressed gentle colt greeted them.

“May I be of assistance?” asked the pegasus. He looked down at Babs and smiled. “Officer Seed... a pleasure to see you again.”

“Youse can drop the officer. Ay’m not on duty today.”

“Then the pleasure is doubly felt. Are you here to visit your cousin?”

“Yes... if she has time for me.”

“Indeed... she always has time for you.” The stallion looked up at Big Mac. “Who might I ask is your very... substantial companion?”

“Him... Oh, he’s a cousin of mine from out of town. I told him about the Boutique and he was very interested in seeing it and perhaps meeting Rarity herself.”

“The Lady Rarity doesn’t meet just anyone, but seeing as this handsome fellow is your cousin, I’ll ask her if she might be interested. Might I have your name?”

“Macintosh...Sir Macintosh o’ Sweet Apple,” he replied, trying to suppress his accent. The doorkeeper raised an eyebrow and nodded.

“If you would follow me.” He led the two into a large, ornate parlor that was very tastefully decorated gestured to a nearby sofa. “I will inform m’ lady. She and your cousin are presently entertaining a client, so it may be a while before she can see you. In the meantime, may I offer you anything to drink?”

“We’ll start with tea,” Babs said.

The stallion looked at Big Mac. “And what can I get for you, sir?”

The alicorn didn’t answer immediately, his mind somewhat overloaded by the implication of Applejack being with a ‘client.’

“He’ll have the same thing as me.”

“Very well, Miss Seed. It shall be here presently.” The pegasus left, closing the parlor doors behind him.

The pony handed Big Mac a white linen napkin that sat on the coffee table before them. “Here,” she whispered, “take fifty bits out of your purse and carefully fold it into this napkin. When they serve us tea, place your napkin on the tray.”

“That seems like an odd way o’ paying fer something.”

“Maybe where you come from, but Rarity is all about culture, style and form. Passing money openly from one hoof to another lacks elegance.” The stallion raised a quizzical eyebrow and Babs shrugged. “Hey... her house, her rules.”

“What happens if a pony don’t pay?”

“Then they get very elegantly ejected on their flanks.

Sure enough, a few moments later a beautiful, young mare wearing an equally beautiful maid’s outfit entered the room with a tea cart. She poured two cups of tea and gracefully accepted the two napkins without a word, then left.

“Do you always have ta pay fifty bits just to visit Applejack?”

Babs smiled. “She usually slips me my napkin back at the end of our visits.” She took a casual sip on her tea. “So, what was that ‘Sir’ Macintosh business all about?”

“Ah remembered that Miss Rarity was always impressed by titles. Ah thought using mine might draw her interest more.”

“Since when has an Apple ever had a title?”

“Y’all might be surprised, Officer Seed,” he replied with a grin.

**********

About thirty minutes later the parlor doors opened once more to admit two stunningly beautiful mares. Big Mac recognized both of them immediately. As with Babs they were both about ten years older, but time had simply ripened the beauty that was there into full bloom. Rarity had gained perhaps twenty-five to thirty pounds, but it had softened her curves into something much more glamorous. Applejack, though still quite slim, did not have as much hard muscle as before and had also softened into a creature of splendor. This unnerved the stallion slightly because he wasn’t use to looking at his sister in quite so alluring a way. He was relieved when she trotted over to Babs and gave her cousin a warm hug. It was then that he noticed another difference. Applejack had no cutie mark.

Rarity smiled coyly at the alicorn. “Sir Macintosh, I presume?” Her voice was sultry and quite inviting. The stallion nodded in response.

“Lady Rarity.”

“My house steward said you wanted to meet me, though he didn’t tell me the nature of your call. I must admit I’ve never seen a unicorn as impressive in appearance as you before. I do hope it involves something, shall we say, intimate and pleasurable.

“It involves somethin’ that happened ta you and five other mares ‘bout ten years ago,” Big Mac said quietly. “Somethin’ Ah’m hopin’ you remember well enough ta help me, and at the same time, help all o’ Equestria.”

Rarity stiffened. “You certainly do get straight to the point.” She paused, then took a deep breath and poured herself a cup of tea, sipping on it before looking up at the stallion. “It’s not a subject I like to talk about. We lost a good friend then, maybe two. I never knew Twilight well enough to really call her a friend but I had a feeling we could have been...simpatico, given time.”

“Y’all knew her well enough ta remember her name, even after ten years.”

“Well, one doesn’t easily forget things like that. My friends and I were lost in that dreadful forest for almost a week. We might not have survived if we hadn’t accidently come across a Zebra by the name of Zecora.” Rarity stopped. “Why would you want me to dredge up such horrid memories again?”

“Cause Ah think Ah can help y’all set your world back on its proper path.”

“Our world?” Rarity replied. “The way you speak it sounds as if you don’t count yourself a part of this world.”

At that point Applejack stepped forward and interposed herself between Big Mac and Rarity. “Listen here! I don’t know who you are or why you’re here. All I can see is you’re upsetting my friend and that’s grounds enough to send you packing, cousin or no cousin.”

“Applejack, darling, please. I am perfectly capable of standing up for myself,” the white-furred mare insisted. She looked up at the stallion once more. “I am sorry, but I don’t think I can be of any help to you. I’m much too grown up to go gallivanting off on some quest to save the world.”

“Without y’all, there ain’t no quest. Life will just continue as is and y’all be forever subject ta the whims o’ a mad draconequus.” As if to punctuate the statement a sudden wind rattled the window pane. All looked outside in time to see the street covered in what appeared to be green ‘snow.’ Crystals instantly formed on the glass and the air turned bitterly cold. Ponies who could be seen on the street were suddenly buried in at least a foot of emerald frost.

Rarity sighed even as she watched them shake themselves free and run for shelter, slipping and sliding along the sidewalk. “Not again.”

She promptly trotted over to the door and opened it. Her steward was standing there. As if by magic he produced a pair of thick, quilted shawls which he draped over Rarity and Applejack’s back without a word. “Break out the cold weather clothing, Soarin. Pass it out among the staff and what few customers are here and stoke up the boiler.”

“As you wish, m’ lady.” The pegasus turned to go.

Rarity closed the door and looked back at her guests. “The last time I listened to a pony about saving the world I nearly lost my life, and the only reason I listened was because she was Princess Celestia’s student. Unless you can show me in some way you legitimately know what you’re talking about, I’m afraid my answer will have to be no.”

Big Mac closed his eyes for a moment, then nodded towards Babs.

The police mare turned towards Applejack. “Would you help me pull the shades down?”

“What on earth for?”

“Just do it... Please?”

Giving a slight snort, she joined her cousin and they quickly had all the shades lowered. Big Mac then used his magic to unclasp the cape he was wearing and lift it from his back, spreading his wings in the process.

Both Applejack and Rarity stared speechlessly at the alicorn, not believing what they saw. “Ah know where ta find the Elements of Harmony,” the stallion explained. “If you will help, we can retrieve them and save your world from HIM.”

The white-furred unicorn slowly stepped forward and put a hoof up to Big Mac’s left wing. “This... This is incredible. You’re a true prince, not a made-up one like Blueblood, but a true prince of the hoof, the horn and the wing. How?”

The stallion explained quickly about his own Equestria and how it differed from theirs. Applejack shook her head in disbelief. “You... yer ma brother?” she asked, dropping the cultured Manehatten accent and reverting to a more countrified one. “How did y’all get ta be an alicorn?”

“Same way as Princess Cadence and Twilight. Ah sort o’ ascended when Ah spiritually connected with the earth.”

“Twilight’s alive... and Octavia... and... and Sweetie Belle?”

“Eeeyup, at least they are in ma Equestria.”

Rarity went very quiet for a moment as she tried to dab away a few tears. Like somepony flicking a switch the unicorn suddenly became a commanding presence. “Then by all means, you shall have my help.”

“And mine too,” Applejack said. “Where Rarity goes, Ah go.”

“Eeeyup...Ah sorta counted on that. Ya see, on ma world y’all were part o’ the original quest to defeat Nightmare Moon.”

“She was?” asked Rarity.

“Eeeyup. You, Twilight, Fluttershy, Pinky, Applejack and Rainbow.

“You mean Rainbow Dash?”

“Eeeyup. Weren’t she part o’ yer original group?”

The unicorn mare nodded. “She suffered the worst of us, aside from Twilight and Octavia of course. Broke both her wings and lost one of her eyes when we encountered an enraged Manticore.

“Ah’m sorry ta hear that,” said Big Mac.

“You know,” muttered Rarity,” the only difference in the two quests is that we had Octavia with us instead of Applejack. That must be the... what did you call it, darling, the point of diversion?”

“Divergence,” said Babs, rubbing a hoof across her chin. “And no, it wasn’t. He was,” she said pointing at the alicorn. “Macintosh was never born in our world, so Granny Smith had no one to help her on the farm. It failed, she passed away, and Applejack was bundled off to Manehatten to live with Uncle and Aunt Orange who tried to mold her into a sophisticated Manehattenite. That’s why she never had a cutie mark and why she wasn’t in Ponyville when the first quest was formed.”

“A lot o’ ponies don’t have cutie marks,” Applejack said defensively.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Rarity assured her. “All the chaos created over the years has prevented many ponies from discovering their true talent.”

“Anyways, we still have ta get Fluttershy, Pinky and Rainbow ta join us if this is gonna work.”

“Fluttershy’s no problem, darling,” said Rarity. She used her magic to cover Big Mac’s wings once more with his cape and went to the door. Once more her house steward, Soarin, was waiting at hoof. “Would you be so kind as to send Cherry Blossom to fetch Fluttershy. Tell her it’s important we meet.”

“Yes, m’ lady. At once.”

The white-furred unicorn smiled. “Fluttershy has a veterinary clinic not too far from here. She’ll know how to contact Rainbow Dash.”

“Ah’m surprised she lives in the big city, considerin’ how much she loved her animal friends,” observed Big Mac.

“She moved here with me, darling, after Ponyville was destroyed by...HIM. I had enough capital to set her up in business and we often visit. Such a ravishing beauty. Too bad she wasn’t interested in going into business with me. She could have been the toast of the town.”

The stallion’s mind overloaded somewhat at the thought of the timid pegasus pony working at someplace like the Carousel Boutique, let alone hearing Rarity’s regrets on the subject.

“That only leaves Pinky,” said Rarity. “But I’m afraid I have no clue as to where she might be.”

“What was her talent?” asked Babs. “It might give us a clue.”

“Well, she was a fabulous baker and she was very good at throwing parties,” recalled Rarity.

“Sort of a party pony,” the police mare observed.

“In ma world, she had a real talent fer makin’ others smile, even when times were at their hardest.

“Same here, darling. Pinky Pie knew how to make laughter infectious.”

“Wait... Youse said her last name is Pie?”

Rarity nodded.

“Youse don’t get out on the Vaudeville circuit much, do you?

“Not at all darling,” the unicorn replied. “So little of what they offer has any cultural value.”

“Then youse wouldn’t know. There’s a popular comedian who goes by the name Pink-a-Mania Pie...”

“Her first name is pronounced Pinkamena.”

“Whatever... She has a show over at the Crazy Horse Theatre on 49th Street.”

“Does she have a really poufy pink mane and tail?” asked Big Mac, and does she bounce around like a kangaroo instead of walkin’?”

“Yeah.”

“That sounds like her,” Rarity said. “Oh the stories I could tell you about that mare.

They talked for about half an hour, listen mostly to Big Mac as he describe what life was like in his world. When they asked him how old he was he told them.

“Well, that’s ma age,” Applejack replied. “Were you and yer sister twins?”

The stallion shook his head. “A.J. and Ah are about five years different in age. Ah’m older.

“Wait a dadgum minute. If yer five years older than her, yet we’re the same age here, and it’s been ten years since Nightmare Moon took over. How come you ain’t five years younger than me now?”

“You forget, darling. Since you know who overthrew Queen Nightmare time has hardly been regular anywhere. Why, I have a socialite friend who just finished celebrating her mother’s second birthday and her father’s seventy-fifth.” We don’t really know how long or short a time ago that all this happened, and it’s going to stay that way unless we do something.”

They were interrupted by a firm knock on the door. It was opened by Soarin. “Lady Rarity. I apologize for the intrusion but your requested guests have arrived.”

“Guests?”

The door opened a bit more to reveal a butter yellow pony with a long pink mane and tail. She seemed reluctant to enter.

“I’m sorry. Am I interrupting something?” she asked in a near whisper. Before anypony else could answer a somewhat louder voice interrupted.

“Aw, come on Flutters. You’re being way too shy, especially around old friends.” A cyan-blue hoof shoved the first pony through the door. It was attached to a pegasus with a rainbow hued mane and tail and a patch over her left eye.

Rarity smiled. “Rainbow... Is that you? How in Equestria did you happen by, and at this particular moment?”

She looked over at the unicorn. “I was delivering a package to Fluttershy’s clinic. We got to talking and next thing I knew there was this green snow covering everything. So I decided to wait until things cleared a bit. Then one of your house maids came by with an invitation so I tagged along. Hope you don’t mind.

“Not at all. You won’t believe how fortuitous your visit is.”

Big Mac looked at the two pegasi mares. Rainbow seemed to be just as athletic as always, except for being a trifle thinner and ten years older than when he’d last seen her in his own world. Fluttershy was exactly the same. Perhaps it was the air of innocence she projected, but he couldn’t see any sign of age on her at all, that was until she turned her head. Her long pink mane and tail had a single, broad streak of white running through it. Not grey, like Granny Smith, but pure white.

“Good evenin’ Miss Fluttershy, Miss Dash,” the stallion said without thinking.

The cyan mare looked at him, suspiciously. “Okay mister... You obviously know us, but we don’t know you.”

“Uh...Uh...Rainbow...Maybe if you give him a chance he’ll introduce himself?” suggested Fluttershy even as she hid behind her friend.

“Allow me,” Rarity said. “Ladies... I’d like to introduce you to Sir Macintosh.”

“Sir Macintosh?” the cyan pegasus asked.

“Yes,” the unicorn said. “Now if you ladies will take a seat I have quite a lot to tell you.” Two pots of tea and a basket of scones later explanations were made.

“Whoa... That is some serious stuff. If you’re going to take HIM on, I hope you have a really solid plan cause we’re only going to get one chance at this,” said Rainbow Dash.

“I take it then you’re ‘in’?” asked Rarity.

“Of course I’m in. I may not be as fast as I was back in the day, but I’m still the fastest mail mare in all Equestria.”

“Yer a mail mare... like Miss Derpy?”

“Derpy? No way. She hasn’t worked as a mail mare since she became Captain of the Wonderbolts.”

Macintosh looked at her. “She’s Captain o’ the Wonderbolts? Ah thought that was yer dream?”

“It was, until HE decided it would be more fun to use them in demolition derbies instead of races and acrobatic competitions. Unfortunately what HE wants, HE gets. That’s something else I owe HIM.” Rainbow’s passion was infectious and it wasn’t long before she had the others eager to go out and recruit Pinky.

“Hot Doggies,” grinned Applejack. “We’re finally gonna give back ta Discord what he deserves!” The palomino pony suddenly threw both hooves over her mouth, her eyes wide in horror. The others stared at her, equally horrified. The whole room abruptly shimmied, waves rippling out into the ether.

Applejack covered her eyes in shame. “No...No...No...No... What have Ah done?”

Rarity once more took command. “There’s no time to waste,” she said standing. She trotted over to the parlor door and flung it open wide. “Soarin... gather the guests and staff immediately, usher them out through the basement emergency exit. Consider this a raid... as of now, we’re closed. I’ll let everyone know when it’s safe to return.”

“Yes, Lady Rarity. At once!” the stallion vanished to carry out his duties.

The unicorn turned to face the other. “Alright everypony... recriminations later. Right now I want all of you to follow me.”

“Where are youse taking us?” asked Babs.

“You’ll know when I do,” Rarity replied.