A New World, An Old Haunt

by Professor Frogenshtein

Ch 16: No Strings Attached

"No but you see, the problem was in the wording of the recipe."

Frothing Stein leaned back on the bench as he discussed potions with Hannelore, the ghostly group's most recent re-addition.

The mismagius in question tilted her head to the side. "How so?"

"Well," Stein shrugged, sipping another soda pop, "the ancient forbidden texts call for 'the blood of the enemy' to act as the catalyst; most individuals assumed it meant actual blood, like from another pony or a zebra or some suchlike." He shook his head. "This led to rather obvious problems, be it war or time or distance, or sometimes even the fact that you didn't have any enemies."

"That does sound off-key..."

"Dodge!"

A shape crashed into the wall near Stein's seat after being flung across the room by a shadowy force. The shape groaned before floating back up.

"What year is it?" Dante asked dazedly.

"Training going well, professor?" Stein quipped with a smirk.

The Yamask shook himself, putting on a determined look. "Oh, I'm just getting started," he spoke as he cracked his spectral knuckles, "I helped invent shadow dodgeball, and I will NOT be bested at my own game!"

Stein simply rolled his eyes as the former human, clad in a sweatband and wristbands, charged back onto the field to clash with an awaiting Lucius.

"Like I was saying," the unicorn turned back to the ghost on the bench with him, "ponies kept messing it up over semantics, and the ensuing bloodshed saw the potion in danger of being banned. I alone managed to restore the elixir in a fit of drunken genius. As it happened, the blood has to come from the enemy of the one brewing the potion; anyone else could use it just fine after it was done. And half of all magic is mental anyways, so I used the 'blood' of my worst, most hated foe..." Stein clenched his hoof (somehow). "Watermelons!"

"Dodge!"

Crash

Hannelore nodded as she helped the yamask remove himself from the wall. "That makes more sense as an ingredient for an anti-depressant." Briefly, she turned her attention to Dante. "You can do better than that, maestro! You have to C♯, or else you'll B♭!"

Dante groaned. "I'm glad we're picking up Alastor soon; that joke was practically criminal."

---

"That criminal escaped because of you!"

In a darkened alleyway, an ariados loosed a flurry of string shots at a banette, who dodged out of the way with an incensed look on its face. The ghost-type glared at the ledian who had ordered the string shot.

"The plaintiff is throwing baseless accusations against the defendant," the dark puppet proclaimed, straightening its business tie as it stood. "Mr. Dillan is an upstanding and blameless individual."

"Like hell!" the ledian shouted, rushing to tackle the banette, "Radi and I arrested that sick pervert ourselves 5 years ago when we rescued that lopunny!"

The banette made no effort to dodge as the tackle passed harmlessly through its intangible plush form, catching the bug-type in both hands before it could crash into the ground.

"Former ranger Grissom must watch his language, else he will be held in contempt of court." The banette threw the ledian at the ariados, sending both bug-types flying out of the alleyway. "This case was brought to court on faulty grounds, and summary judgment has been ruled in favor of the defendant. Court is dismissed!"

Not bothering with flourish or fanfare, the ghost-type phased through the wall at the back of the alley, disappearing before either of the bug-types could skitter back into the alley. It reappeared on a nearby rooftop, its zipper mouth in a smile. "Another case closed by Alastor Amaranth, ghost attorney."

"Uh, hey, yo uncle Al." The banette spun his head 180 degrees towards the voice that had appeared behind it, coming face to face with a very nervous looking drifblim.

"Avira," he said, turning his body around so his head was no longer on backwards, "it's good to see you. Are you here to pick me up?"

The balloon pokémon nodded, not quite meeting eyes with Alastor. "Pops is back at da base- he sent me to get ya so's we didn't hafta land 'till tamarrow."

"Very well," replied the plushy poltergeist, raising both arms, "matters here have been settled to the fullest extent of my limited knowledge of the laws on this world; I look forward to seeing His Honor again."

As Avira wrapped his ribbon-like appendages around Alastor's raised arms, the banette smiled mischievously and spoke. "I also look forward to seeing what kind of trouble you've gotten into."

The drifblim cringed before lifting off of the rooftop to fly back to the mansion.

---

One quick trial later...

"Ow..." Avira rubbed a sore spot on his backside as I led him into the room, Chandler floating in behind him. "Dat always stings..."

"It's not that bad," said Chandler, rolling her eyes as she rubbed her appendages together.

"Oh says you! I get da voodoo acupuncture treatment an' all you get is literally a slap on da wrist!"

"Chandler was in time out when we found her," I interrupted, eyeing Avira as I directed them down the hallway, "and she wasn't in as much trouble as you were– oh but what's past is past. Now come along, there's someone I'd like you both to meet."

---

Queen Banafrit sat alone on the canopy bed, contemplating the flawlessly smooth platinum of her mask as she pondered the fractured spiritomb, Legion. She imagined the remains of her people, her kingdom, bound unjustly to a cursed stone for crimes they had not committed; she thought of them now, lost and confused, their souls scattered across a planet they did not know...

It was uncertain which notion the former queen found more troubling.

A sudden rapping at the door caught the shiny yamask's attention, bringing her out of her thoughts.

"Knock knock," said a voice, and Dante's head phased through the wooden door. "I know knocking is pointless because we're ghosts, but I wanted to be polite."

Banafrit gave a small smile in spite of herself; the self-proclaimed Spirit King seemed to have a talent for cheering her up.

"Please, enter."

And, as Dante ushered two pokémon into the room to be introduced, Banafrit's thoughts drifted ever so slightly away from the plight of her people. She had done all she could for now, and it would not do to exhaust herself by dwelling on such things; with her King and his subjects by her side, she doubted that anything could give them pause.

---

"Stupid rag doll and his stupid convict friend..." Grissom muttered, rubbing his fists as he flew down the sidewalk next to Radi. The ariados stayed carefully quiet, watching the ledian in case his wings gave out; the former human was getting better at flying, but it had only been 3 days.

"'Summary judgement' my eye; we'll nab that sicko just like we did 5 years ago."

Radi winced at that; her trainer was always a little... forceful about his job.

"Are you sure we need to do this?" Radi asked, "Arceus did say that he only brought those who were worthy..."

Grissom scoffed, crossing his four arms. "Don't tell me you buy that, Radi; Arceus isn't that powerful."

Radi winced again; that kind of talk gets 'mons erased from existence.

"No," the ranger continued, "we're going to find that perp and lock him back up, and then we're going for that stupid ghost-type!"

"Ghost-type?" A stoutland appeared from the corner they were just about to turn onto, sniffing the air hurriedly. "Where are they, I'll smite them where they stand!"

Grissom sighed. "Cool off, skippy, there's nothing there; I was just thinking out loud."

The stoutland paused and looked at the bug-types. "Skippy? My name is Corporal; defender of truth and bringer of justice to all scoundrels! Along with my faithful ally, Biscuits."

Another creature walked out from behind the corner; it was some canine looking thing, probably a local.

"Corporal," it whined in a pleading tone, "I'm tired, can we rest?"

The stoutland ignored the question, looking closely at Radi and Grissom.

"You haven't been having any ghost problems, have you?"

"Oh don't get me started," the ledian grumbled, "I ever see that punk again and I'll..."

"What good fortune we should meet, then!" the stoutland interrupted, "you two should join me as I sniff out those deathly degenerates on my quest of justice!"

Oh boy, Radi didn't like where this was going—

"Deal! I need to serve up some LAW to that creep!"

And there it goes. Radi groaned to herself as Grissom and Corporal shook hands/paws, while Biscuits just sat there looking confused.

Grissom looked back at her and smiled. "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

Author's Note:

Another member of the crew has been returned, and our haunting hero is learning the ins and outs of his new form. All is not well, however, as the brave-hearted (though terribly misguided) Corporal meets up with the self-righteous ranger Grissom, forming their own league of idiots to pursue their skewed visions of so-called "justice" for the specters.

I started imagining Corporal as being voiced by Adam West, and now I can't get the thought out of my head.

Comments

[Krazyfan1]

...Poor Radi...

[Night_Moon60606]

<a Throah turns to a Sawk looking through some kind of eye piece> "Hey Sawk! whats the Scouter say about their Idiocy Levels?"

<the Karate Pokemon growls a little as he pulls the device from his head> "its over NINE THOUSAND!!!