I tried. I really did man, but your character is too much of an ass, even by my standards, for me to continue. Your character in here seems a bit like a few people I know which also makes me want to stop. I can't see that much character development coming. The Rarity you have is kind of okay but you made her personality a bit more extreme than it is in the show. I mean, she is a fashionista and loves styling herself and her friends up but she is still sensible and she still prizes her friends and her sister highly! She threw a fashion show in Canterlot because her friends weren't there, she got covered in mud and went on an obstacle course just because her sister wanted her to. It's true she's selfish but you have her so desperate that it's sad. Your character, however is just an ass that manipulates. Your character is also a huge hypocrite. He preaches only to use Boku-Maru a few times a day yet he keeps doing it with others whenever he wants. There's more I can say but I'm too tired. Your writing style is okay and readable. I'd like to see more of your writing if you have a main character that isn't like this. Good luck in you future writings and I hope that you take this as constructive criticism and not bashing. Your writing's good just work on making three dimensional characters as well as a main character that has at least a few redeeming qualities or ones that many of the readers can sympathize with. Anyway, thank you and I wish you luck in your future writings.
I tried. I really did man, but your character is too much of an ass, even by my standards, for me to continue. Your character in here seems a bit like a few people I know which also makes me want to stop. I can't see that much character development coming. The Rarity you have is kind of okay but you made her personality a bit more extreme than it is in the show. I mean, she is a fashionista and loves styling herself and her friends up but she is still sensible and she still prizes her friends and her sister highly! She threw a fashion show in Canterlot because her friends weren't there, she got covered in mud and went on an obstacle course just because her sister wanted her to. It's true she's selfish but you have her so desperate that it's sad. Your character, however is just an ass that manipulates. Your character is also a huge hypocrite. He preaches only to use Boku-Maru a few times a day yet he keeps doing it with others whenever he wants. There's more I can say but I'm too tired. Your writing style is okay and readable. I'd like to see more of your writing if you have a main character that isn't like this. Good luck in you future writings and I hope that you take this as constructive criticism and not bashing. Your writing's good just work on making three dimensional characters as well as a main character that has at least a few redeeming qualities or ones that many of the readers can sympathize with.
Anyway, thank you and I wish you luck in your future writings.
How many times has he asked for clothes from Rairity?
This is the worst service ever.