• Published 13th Sep 2014
  • 2,565 Views, 37 Comments

The Human, The Fashionista, and The Milkmare - Mike the Red



Another in story in the Michael Walker series -- He finds himself mysteriously transported to Equestria, but not in the place he wanted to be...

Comments ( 10 )

SEQUEL! SEQUEL!! SEQUEL!!!

But seriously, I enjoyed this story and would love to see it continued.

I didn't think this story would prove to be so provocative that so many would down vote it -- I would at least request that those down votes be cast regarding poor literary quality as opposed to simple objection of the subject matter.

Whatever the case, I will allow this story to stand, despite the number of people who decided it wasn't their cup of tea.

5276865 :rainbowlaugh: Good one, I hadn't thought of that... :pinkiehappy:

5424086 Thanks for the comments. I will try to improve my story-telling. :twilightsmile:

5741228 Thanks for evening things out a little. :pinkiehappy:

How is possible that they did not have enough proof of Rarity? The 20 pelts or more are not enough? Also... If Michael know about the basement and the secret life of Rarity, maybe it could be a good idea to check Sweetie so that she don't continue like she do in the sequel of that story.

6072108 She had a really good lawyer...:pinkiehappy:

6580917 Boku-Maru is a Kurt Vonnegut reference -- google is a good place to start.
I suppose the seeming calmness is OOC, but that's how I wrote the story.
Rarity is desperate for a stallion, regardless of species -- perhaps a little too desperate...

Popularity is relative -- and this story is quite provocative, though that's not what I intended.

There is a sequel in the works...

I have mixed feelings about this story. The beginning is VERY confusing, and up and down, all over the place. It's not really believable, because I don't think Rarity would just have been up and fine with him waking up next to her from the get go, much less wanting to marry him five minutes later. Same with Twilight. Rarity's mood also changes way to much in the beginning, and that was before she became... evilish. When I say confusing, stuff happened way to fast in the beginning chapters. I would flip the page, and Rarity would be gone, or something else would happen, and I'd be like "Wait, when did she leave, or when did that happen?" The pace was so fast, I couldn't really keep track of everything. Slow down a little.

Once Anon began to live with Milky Way, it got a little better. Rarity was a major annoyance throughout the story, just to keep popping up like that.

Ehhhh, I'm going to give it a dislike for now, because this story needs a major overhaul, no offense. Rewrite the beginning, make it slightly more believable, and it would be better.

8503346
Thanks for reading and commenting on my story. As I stated in the description, it was a piece of mind candy, mostly for my own personal enjoyment. I'm not going to rewrite the story, I'll simply let it stand on its own. At this point, it's not worth rewriting/editing/reposting. I have a sequel planned, but I'm still only working on the first chapter -- and given how little time I have for writing anything these days, I doubt it will see publication.

Login or register to comment