• Member Since 12th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen October 22nd


I ship it like FedEx.


Scootaloo watches the world from a cage made of her own fears, hoping for somepony to come set her free.

A story about depression. Pre-read by IceboxFroggie. Cover art provided by hunterz263. Help with description provided by Noble Thought

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 34 )

Think lots of us have been in where she is in this story at some point. That feeling of inadequacy or hopelessness.
It resonated with me, that's for sure.
Well done. :scootangel:

Thank you!

P.S. I somehow missed this notification. Sorry! :twilightblush:

Very, very nice. You captured her feeling well and that's how I've felt more than once in my life.

I really wish I could come up with something half-intelligent to say regarding this story, or even a clever witty remark, but I just cannot think of what I could say...

I read this story from the link in your blog post the other day, and I've read it several times since then. Again, I wish I could come up with more to say, but all I've really got to say is:

I knew there was a reason I decided to follow you. Stories of this quality are far too uncommon.
Thanks for writing! :scootangel:

[Clapping intensifies]

I had hoped I might be able to pull that off. It was a bit difficult; I haven't felt that low in a long time. The last time I can recall being even borderline depressed was in high school, which has already been... more than two years now.

Oh geez, I'm getting old. :rainbowlaugh:

Awe, shucks. :twilightblush: I've heard things like this a few times and I still don't know what to say! I'm really, really glad you liked my story. :yay:

4881526 I had my fifteen-year high school reunion in 2012. :ajbemused::trollestia:

Not bad. Not bad at all. While the idea you used to surround the theme of this story is quite overused, it still stands to make the message just as powerful. However, a couple of things. Well, I suppose it's one thing, really. But it rather big, in my opinion.

See, when Rainbow started crying . . . it seemed so sudden. It was kind of thrust in there and told to do its job instead of it coming in on time for work and doing its job because it likes its job. I'm not saying the situation didn't deserve it, but it didn't FEEL very real. It lacked the proper emotion for something so paramount as that. It's an emotional crossroads between Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo, where the two will recompense, in a way.

However, it lacked enough dialogue between the two to make this work. It could have been better, but . . . what was going to be my point two was the thing she says after she wipes her tears. Now, there isn't anything intrinsically wrong with it, but it doesn't seem to fit overall. It's almost as sudden as her wiping her tears.

The main reason I am pointing these things out so heavily is because . . . depression doesn't necessarily work that way. The effect of the two things, I mean. Sure, people will be able to get over it for a bit, but it rarely takes a single conversation to pull someone "out of their cage." Especially at the level Scootaloo was at. It would have been far better had they had a longer conversation and maybe an argument. It would be able to solidify the point better.

Because, to me, it seems like the story itself is contradictory to the point Scootaloo made: you can't simply open the cage and leave it on a whim. And no matter if Rainbow helped or not, it certainly seems like it was a little too easy for her to get over it.

Take what you will from this. I may be a little too nitpicky because I've dealt with people with depression, and . . . I wish it were this easy. Sadly, the truth is far from it.

It was a joke! :fluttershysad: I can't be old, I'm not even drinking age yet :applecry:

4881705 No, you most certainly are not old. :rainbowlaugh:

As far as depression goes, this is all so, so true....It touched me, right in the feels, the heart, because I can very much relate to this little piece of literature.

Well, very well, done. Several hundred thumbs up from me.

Fair enough. Dash did feel a little off, and I think I may have rushed that scene. To be honest, I didn't really want to write this because I didn't feel qualified. It's just that the idea wouldn't go away, so I wrote it to the best of my ability. It's very tricky to write about depression if it's not a constant presence in your life, which, for me, it hasn't been for years.

Your review kind of highlighted a concern I had, which is that I made depression seem too easy to get over. Obviously, that wasn't my intention. I probably should have picked a different metaphor or at least been more careful, since leaving the cage was more symbolic of not being constrained by depression than just not being depressed anymore. I did try to show depression as being more difficult by implying that she had "left the cage" before. The encouragement of friends does help people live with it, but I suppose it comes off as overly simplistic.

Overall, it perhaps wasn't the best way to handle it, and I certainly wouldn't call this my best piece of writing. I'll take this as a reminder to be very cautious with touchy topics, especially ones that I'm not a total expert on.

Several hundred? Wow, that's like an insta-feature!

I call hacks. :rainbowlaugh:

I thought the metaphor was perfect. However, like I said, the execution felt off. It still handled the theme very well, so don't count your losses yet. :pinkiehappy:

I forgot to leave a comment earlier... So I wanted to say that this was a great story! Although, it could have been longer. But it still works. So good job! :twilightsmile:

Thanks! Glad you liked it!

Nice story. You've earned a fav!

Thank you! Glad you liked it! :twilightsmile:

Awesome fic! I can somewhat relate to this so I loved reading it. Like and faved.

I love how friendship helps Scootaloo forget her depression a little. It's very inspiring. :twilightsmile:

Thanks! Glad you liked it!

That's what I was going for. :raritywink:

Comment posted by Bromad deleted Aug 22nd, 2014

Not the best story I've ever read, but I'll give it a thumbs up

I'm having a really hard time trying to figure out what to say in response to this.

I'm... not entirely sure any psychological implications apply to my stories. My stories aren't really about me, per se. The characters do have some aspects of my personality, especially when I have blank slate characters like Octavia or Lyra. Still, I can't recall writing anything that's actually happened to me, exactly as written. That's not to say it's not therapeutic (I've always loved creating my own stories!), but it's not really personal. I just write whatever story idea strikes me, and this one struck me hard enough that all other ideas left me for a while. I literally had to write it because it just wouldn't go away.

So, uh, I dunno what bits of psychoanalysis you want to gather from that. But yeah, I don't write to vent. It's always turned out ugly in the past. :pinkiesick: Turns out that people don't like me writing about them, even if I don't do anything bad to their characters.

A really great little one shot. I can totally relate to the feeling of being trapped in a mental cage.

Thank you! Glad you liked it and found some personal connection to it :twilightsmile:

Thank you this was perfect, it's how I feel most of the time even with meds, if it isn't my depression it's some other issue & it all feels like a cage where the bars are layered so thick you can't tell what a happy life looks like.

Well, I hope you at least get a reprieve once in a while, like Scootaloo did. And it sounds like you liked the story, so I hope that helped, even if just a little bit.

4916759 It did and I did, saw V for Vendetta and in watching found a way to ignore the bars as if they were mere mental smoke stepping beyond them & destroying their source with truth & power.

Well, that's good! Glad things improved :pinkiehappy:

This is how I feel when other people at school bully me. Sometimes I forget that other people have suffered worse, like Michael Morones. He was bullied so bad for liking MLP that he attempted to hang himself. It's always good to know that I'm not completely alone in this world.

Beautiful! I love stories like this. They're like a piece of art and not just a tale.
Fantastic job! :twilightsmile:

Wow. Throughout the story I could barely tell if Scootaloo's cage was metaphorical or real.

I totally understand what Scootaloo's talking about, though. I have self-doubt and insecurity just like her. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a cage where all of my confidence and potential is nothing. I'm glad I have friends who care about me the way Rainbow Dash cares about Scootaloo in this story, and family too, or else I'd be in that cage all the time.

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