Blackjack, an incompetent security mare from the dystopian Stable 99, suddenly has her monotonous life turned upside down when the stable is invaded by vicious raiders. Blackjack flees the stable with EC-1101, with the wasteland in hot pursuit.
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Wheeeeeeeeeeeeew man, what a chapter! Out of the massive amount of the ones I've read so far, this one has to be my favorite, I'm liking this Batpony character, he seems really cool
and I ship it! Haha!
Nice going man, nice going!
I hope you get better soon, man. I really liked these little geology buts and pieces! The K-T boundary is one of the most fascinating things about geology, I think.
Ok, I get that Luna could have talked in Chirpese but bat ponies had to have been able to communicate with other ponies. The chirping and squeaking doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
Somepony thinks with their penis too much. Maybe Blackjack is in heat? I know the horse my family have got a little funny during that time of the year.
I thought Glory wasn't sure what she liked.
Hmmmm, so the screaming star that crashed into the ground brought magic to the world. Then later it was slammed into by another star which wiped out the zebra city. If the dream is more than just a dream. If it isn't, then why add it?
Either this is missing a "her" or has an added "for".
Does she just not think zebra's would weaponize things? This little talk seems to hurt the idea that Fluttershy gave zebras megaspells.
minor nitpick: E.F.S.
minor nitpick: E.F.S.
thought ?
A-huh, sure. Empty words? Happened in my experience.
Hmm so this is who the Stygius fellow is. Inter..est..ing. Ohhh man dunno how Glory will feel about this. That symbolism in the house though.. I have conflicted dispositions to Goldenblood but mostly hate still.
Aw hell, Steel Rangers are back and not the friendly blue-bar kind..
Steel Rain is a Harbinger... I never would've thought it.
Goldenblood's house... I never would've thought she'd find it.
Got railed by Stygius... Oh Glory won't be happy.
Damn it, I was not called upon to see this updated!
Aw well might as well read this for now... I needed a break from my revisions with my Fo:E sidefic...
So this is the moment where the thestral/batpony Stygius comes forth eh?
Oh please Blackjack, there's always time for some kinky moments!
I'd say yes, you are game mate... but I can tell how things will go right now
Bloody called it!
So we got someone else who is all silent like Ditzy... interesting...
'Kay good thing I decided to read up this, going to need to edit the chapter where my OC meets Blackjack during the dinner party with Littlepip... They did not go through it, but I'd rather stick to canon and not ruin it elsewhere...
Well, looks like Blackjack's mind is slowly recovering... let's see how well this goes from here on out
Well looks like her mind resisted the temptation and is truly slowly recovering... by intercourse... why do I find that hilarious?
I knew she was going for that...
As much as I love you Flutters, you are being dense here!
This will not help them in the long run or help to negotiations, it will only escalate the war to new levels like what Goldenblood said!
Okay, I think this is a coincidence with my protagonist... I've never even read PH until now and he's goes through this as well albeit later chapters when he ponders upon intimacy... just wow with the coincidences...
Oh my...
She has gone off the sugar rush on the sex category isn't she?
...........................What?
I have to agree with Blackjack here and again... What?
Had he known that his and Flutters' daughter was still alive, I can see him acting differently but still, poor Goldie
Well we are fucked!
Okay with this one out of the way, I can get to the other chapter... goodness though this is something else...
Never leave Stygius never leave us.
Damn right!
*Deep gravely voice* He is batpony!
Dammit, Somber, you told me this was a turning point for most readers and got me all scared for nothing. D: Granted, I would have been perfectly happy reading a million-plus words without any goddamn batponies, but this was, if not as amazing as 43 or even 42, definitely in the same league as them. That said...
GODDAMMIT, BLACKJACK, DON'T FUCK THE BATPONY DX
She fucked the batpony. >:B And this really bothered me because the whole time, I was thinking, "What would Glory think?" It wasn't until after her final inner monologue about life at her Stable that I realized, BJ really doesn't know better. This is not the first time she's cheated on Glory, but quite frankly, it's because thanks to her upbringing, she has no inclination to think that anyone's feelings would be hurt, let alone know that she needs to talk to Glory about stuff like this first. I sincerely hope this comes back to bite her in the ass later, but also that it doesn't cause her too much grief. I would point to this sequence as a good example of how not to do polyamory (a topic I have precisely zero understanding of), but at least it's in character for her.
Meanwhile, the combination of "I need to not let the rape control me", "I want to feel like not a robot" and "am I actually bisexual?" is a good way to justify having even non-explicit sex in a story like this, so well done.
Other thoughts. "Goldenblood the pony" was interesting. Not entirely sympathetic, but at least the look into his past was enlightening. (Also I note he used to be an artist, just like Hitler. :V) The high school AU was the best thing, especially the filly Rampage. :D Your version of Littlehorn is considerably better than the one story I read on the topic not too long ago. I'm having a hard time understanding the importance of the Cake twins. We know Psychoshy's "real" name! (I hope Blackjack teases her about finding her diapers.) And for all that I really wanted to argue with Goldenblood in that final scene of his (because I'm a die-hard sunlover), he's absolutely right about Celestia, and we know where that blame lies. :V
So, I'm excited for chapter 45. It is, I believe, where this story had published to when I started reading it. But more importantly, I voice the villain! :D And I just cannot wait to see what VisualPony did with what I sent him.
Amen to that! I actually quite liked this chapter and Stygius. Poor dude's way out of his depth. But yeah, this is going to have some ramifications later on...
Hmm, haven't commented in a few chapters...
I feel oddly vindicated that Goldenblood's Gary Stu-ness continues unabated, confirming my initial, scathing opinion... slowly but surely the entire cast comes to love, fear, or respect him in some combination. Fear not, Blackjack... I'll always deride him for being what he is; it's okay if you pity him. I know you can't help it; you're too close to the problem to see it properly. Seriously.... planning to kill Celestia... that got a good eye roll out of me. What was worse was the utter scorn he showed her in that exchange. Sorry, but how many centuries of peace did she give your world? That counts for something, but I guess those Blueblood genes are really showing through.
Hey, I'm fine with the afterlife being a happy, harmonious place of singing stars. There's nothing you can do in a finite lifespan to justify infinite torment, really. But for even thinking about killing Celestia... yep, I'm fine and dandy with his daughter being a psychotic bitch that he never got to meet, Fluttershy's scorn, and anything else bad that happens to him. I don't think he's going to live long enough to suffer properly, but ya can't have everything.
On to better topics (i.e. pretty much anything else). I actually really like Horse as a character. My kinda villain... unapologetically crass, fearlessly corrupt, and most importantly entertaining. That Sweetie Bot is a bit disturbing... but it's exactly the kind of thing that characterizes his sort of sleaziness. He doesn't seem to have that 'oh, shit, start the car!' cowardice that Flim and Flam display. Maybe I just like him because he doesn't seem as wowed by the Golden Boy. ...
Nah, it's the lingerie Sweetie Bot... I got issues.Stygius is... well how do you not like the goof, really? I can see this being drama fuel later but it won't be any real fault of his. I could do with his grammar being a bit better. Sometimes it's cute, but it also puts me in the mind of reading kids writing on the internet... poorly. Ah well.
Let's see... lot of ground in these last few chapters.... thanks ever so much for dragging us through the rape scene again, though I suppose it was inevitable. That whole chapter was an interesting trip, but I wonder how long it'll hold before she breaks down again. It's such a pattern with her that even she recognizes it. Hopefully getting back to the others will continue to help her come to terms with things... before she has more things to come to terms with. It'd certainly help me... I miss those crazy kids!
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Where Stygius is concerned, hoo boy. The reaction there was basically Flash Sentry, only Flash didn't exist yet. Felt like the same thing, based on the same or similar perceived issues (if I remember right, I'd judge the reaction as being higher Stu but lower lack-of-characterization than Flash), but in just this one little corner of Pony rather than front and center, and during a hiatus at that. Never had that much of an issue with him myself, despite not liking Flash or his introduction.
I sense more
emotionalfallout for Blackjack in the coming chaptersWell i am proud of her to overcome that many problems in such a short time and not kill the poor stallion.. but i sense more immanent doom in the near future :(
This was a super fun chapter. Awkward batpony shenanigans and self-doubt and tons of other crazy stuff... then the banging. Nice to see that BJ could get passed that experience to continue experiencing good things. Stygius is a seriously lucky and devoted bat. Following a mare for who knows how long into who knows what, all for the chance of getting some of that ass. Devotion. Hell, I think I'd do it too.
~SolidFire
congrats to Stygius for getting banged and to Blackjack for being able to control herself the whole time.
I feel like, with the exception of Book 1 and a bit of Book 2, this story makes all its important characters immediately likeable, even before there is anything to know about them. I liked Stygius a lot right from the getgo, as did I like Fluttershy, Crunchy Carrots, Boo, etc.
7186362 Someone stole the words out of my mouth, 35-ish weeks before I had them. :'(
Oh well... :\ VisualPony? Would that be something on YouTube? If not, where would I find it? >.<
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Yeah, just search for VisualPony on Youtube, you'll find his channel. :)
Ha, finally a batpony! A good bat at that. Please don't kill him too horribly, don't kill him at all in fact, let him be happy plz plz plzplzplzplz...
I have a feeling goldenblood's magic power is never really fully expanded on....makes me wonder just how strong he is when The thing in the darkness place happens and The golden pony is released by the executioner thing and becomes a good pony again (sorta)
Maybe he really could kill ol' sunbutt
Its stunning just how much power and influence Goldenblood actually had.
Terrifying, even.
The power to make virtually anything happen, to achieve any outcome...
...and the will to use it.
That's what really makes him dangerous, is hai will to use his power separate from his feelings.
Now what I what to know: how could he see Blackjack when he's in the past?
And did Twilight ever make 32 hour days?
Dear Faust. 24 hours is already too much!
Ok so I'm only a little bit into the chapter but I just wanted to say something, I do not like cheating, the fact that she's even considering cheating on Glory is pretty upsetting to me
8231705
Wait till you see how Glory feels about it.
I like Stygius. I DON'T like his one track mind, but he is endearing all the same.
-
Goldenblood... what am I supposed to think of you? Honest, caring, intelligent. After the attack, mysterious, mercyless, driven. Does everything he can to give Fluttershy the world, but is not above contemplating the murder of his once beloved ruler. Do I despise you, or respect you? Pity or disdain? Hmmm...
Blackjack's going to be pregnant...ain't she?
That'll bring a whole new level of complication, and mindbuckery.
i've read several fan-stories about where Batponies came from...i think the silliest one was one where they were created by accident because of a defective magic potion that was simply supposed to help ponies see in the dark!
i think that was called "Bat and Bug". that story involves a batpony and a Changeling becoming friends.
Oh. My. God. I almost fell off my bed laughing at this
that's a first for a stallion to flirt with blackjack and think shes sexy, even with cyber legs lol
As someone who has been cheated on, I find Blackjack's actions in this chapter a bit difficult to forgive.
9610952
Stable 99 life is simply different. They didn't comprehend monogamy. Everything was shared - even males.
The sex slavery is a little harder to forgive really.
9873419
Going further, the cases Blackjack knew that were closer to/looking for monogamy (the Overmare and Duct Tape with P-21, in different ways of course) were fairly messed up in ways distinct from the general reality of 99.