Let me get two things out the way:
1.This is an excerpt from a fic that I had written previously turned into a one shot. It has all the qualities of a oneshot and if it's good i'll post the story where it came from.
2. I am aware the title image sucks, I am not good with MS paint but I couldn't find the image I wanted so I had to make due.
This is the tale of Pegasus Wright and his mare friend Rainbow Dash. It was supposed to be a nice Hearts and Hooves day for these two...but the universe has a funny way of making life difficult. Now, hopped up on the love poison Rainbow is desperate to get some...attention from Wright. Forced to fly away from the fastest mare in Equestria hopped up on desire juice, things do not look god for our poor protagonist.
It's. (This error is repeated quite a lot, so I won't point out every individual instance.) Also, Hearts and Hooves Day needs capitals.
Nothing.
Just goldens, no need for the apostrophe.
Tired.
Legitimate.
Pegasi DO have magic. It's how they can fly, manipulate weather, and live on clouds, etc.
Anyway! It was very cute and funny (but seriously, who in their right mind would resist Rainbow Dash in full sultry mode?), if a bit on the nose at times, but that's more of a personal thing and not an actual complaint.
4789876 Wow. There are a lot more errors here than I thought. Clearly I need to do better as an editor, thank you for showing these to me.
Epic as always. :)
It started simple and harmless, then progressed into one of the funniest stories I've ever read. Great job!
Should be sweet apple acres
Needs a period.
Wright, Wright, Wright of the jungle...
I've been in or I've had.
Standard male brain thought patterns doctor.
Shut up nurse!!
4790869
No problem. Just reading over what you've written after a day or two usually helps.
I love this story!