TalonMach5
Joined 11th Mar, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- TalonMach5 · 39k words · 68 30 · 2.1k views
- Chatoyance · 3.1k words · 4.6k views
- Midnightshadow · 58k words · 156 23 · 9.2k views
- Cherry Rie · 9k words · 11 1 · 773 views
- Da Bunnana King · 1.7k words · 33 41 · 2.5k views
- Midnightshadow · 7.2k words · 71 20 · 4.5k views
- Lux · 9.6k words · 78 29 · 2.3k views
- Cherry Rie · 50k words · 50 16 · 3.2k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.177 seconds
Total duration
1,003 users online
257,573 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Moar!!!!!
Shit, i had a first opertunity and didnt take kiit.
450649 Thank you for your comments gentlereader, perhaps you would care to enlighten me as to what you wish moar of? Perhaps you desire more tapioca pudding?
microwaverecipescookbook.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/Tapioca-pudding1.jpg
Gentlereader enjoy with my compliments. until next time.
google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://www.sadanduseless.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/681.jpg&sa=X&ei=GVmJT_XuPIP18QPv7bXrCQ&ved=0CAoQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNGM7FTpTXQLIc5eylMGG5-L11ohsA
This is probably the only Conversion Bureau story I actualy enjoyed reading: I'm not a massive fan of ponyfication, but your story balences that out with giant sentient war robots!
450757 Thank you gentlereader for commenting and for your kind colloquy. Pray tell what precisely did you find brilliant about the piece? Was it my prose, or perhaps twas the gentle blending of soft sci-fi with the saccharine sweetness that is the "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" franchise. Do tell gentlereader, I'm all ears. Until next time.
And fuck it, random internet meme
youthclub-sa.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/for_teh_lulz1.jpeg
450768 I'd say it was the Giant war robots.
The way you describe them makes them sound awsome.
450775 Thank you for your response gentlereader, if you enjoyed this story you might also enjoy The Great Slave King. It's an adventure story set in Equestria's past, with over the top villains, adventure, love, friendship, intrigue, and most importantly its got belligerent guardspony number one in his debut role as belligerent guardspony number one. Read or not gentlereader, but hopefully if you do you'll find it to your liking. Until next time.
You have my total interest. This is exquisite on multiple levels, and I can't wait to see where you go with this. Fascinating scenario! Wow!
450837 Thank you for your most kind and thoughtful words Lady Chatoyance. I am both thrilled and humbled that you would deign read my unworthy work, let alone consider it worthy of favouriting. I have ravenously devoured everything you have written regarding the conversion bureau universe from The Conversion Bureau: Euphrosyne Unchained to your current work The Conversion Bureau: Going Pony. Although I've enjoyed your work I have always found it a bit too human hating for my tastes. I was aiming to go for a celebration of humanity versus the usual angle you take. I don't usually gush but I'm gushing to think a writer I hold in great esteem has enjoyed something I've written. Thank you for reading gentlereader. Until next time.
Most intriguing thus far. There are a few technical issues, mostly a few missed capitalizations and iffy punctuation, but that's just my English teacher mother's genes at work noting the flaws in the Hope Diamond. (You know, big, almost indestructible, harbinger of doom. Just like Tinman!)
There are but two real criticisms I can offer. First is that you never really described Winston's holographic avatar beyond the fact that its a holographic avatar. I imagined a rather indignant, sputtering butler, but I have no idea if that's anywhere near your intended image of the image. Secondly, the dialogue attribution is, if you'll pardon the term, mechanical. You don't have to include a "[name] said" every time someone speaks, so long as it's clear who's speaking. Better to be on the safe side, of course, but for one-word replies and the like, it's not necessary.
In any case, I look forward to seeing the wacky antics guaranteed to ensue from the combination of ponies and enormous brain-operated death machines. As Megas XLR taught us, everyone digs giant robots. Everypony, on the other hoof...
450905 Thank you for your kind comments and well thought out critique gentlereader. Regarding Winston I felt the references to the faux British accent and thinning hair, might give the reader the impression that the hologram looked like what an American might consider the stereotypical stiff upper lip Briton (i.e. a British butler just like you imagined him). Regarding the naming conventions I usually will do X said, or the <race of creature>, human, pony, griffin etc. I know that gets annoying so I also try to add a bit of action to the dialogue. Indeed both chicks, ponies, and alicorn princesses dig giant robots, along with red headed boy geniuses. Thank you for reading gentlereader, until next time.
Day = MADE.
Brilliant, love it love it love it!
450990 Gentlereader thank you for your comments. I am certainly pleased that my story was able to make your day. It warms the heart to know that something you created can bring joy to others. I hope to continue with the brilliance in the future. If you want to make your week my other series The Great Slave King is twenty chapters long and at least in my opinion a fun read. Thank you for reading gentlereader, until next time.
That cover image alone was very interesting
...but how the hell will he drink the potion, if he indeed will chose the ponification
451030 Gentlereader thanks for commenting. I think it's interesting you mentioned the coverart, it's what inspired this fic. I knew if I ever became a warmachine that's what I would love to be like. Regarding possible ponification, medical science has done wonders regarding cloning. Even Lao Chi who's just a brain case is going to get ponified. But currently I don't think Tinman has any desire to go fleshbag let alone pony. As far as he's concerned, going metal was the best choice he ever made. His frustrations being stuck in phoenix with only ideological fanatics to fight, must be driving him crazy. And a stir crazy fully armed and operational Land Behemoth, with armaments and nothing to shoot at has got to be a dangerous combination. I'll bet Director Peachy Keen will be anything but by the end of our tale. Thanks for reading gentlereader, until next time.
Makes me wonder..... Why does Tin Man remind me of a robot from the Knights of the Old Republic game......?
451353 Salutation:Thank you gentlereader for commenting,
Statement:Tinman is based off a D&D warforged rogue I used to play.
Statement: HK-47 loved to call the organics in his life meatbags, all squishy and sloshing around filled with water.
Query: Out of curiosity has anyone caught the reference to G4 MLP:FiM?
Clarification: Originally I was going to make him work at a G5 facility, but a call to G4 was too good to pass up.
Farewell: Thank you for reading gentlereader, until next time.
fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/334/b/c/hk_47_motivation_by_falacious_tree-d33yquo.jpg
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/4/13/1svppjo380CUYpQkgifmYA2.gif
im munna leav dis here
Good story Talon!
.... Post Wanted Ad for Security Guards. Hire One (1) Cyborg Armored-Core/Gundam Mecha thing.
...Meanwhile, those lawyers that tried to take his weapons are dropping crap bricks
"He's using our multi-million dollar weapons systems .... to protect a Conversion Bureau? ...In Phoenix? ...That's it? That's like using a nuclear bomb to kill a puppy!"
You, sir, have just made my day - no. You have just made my week. Keep writing, I implore you!
468122 Thank you for your kind comments gentlereader. I'm currently in the middle of writing the second chapter. We'll when the law is against you and you really need a job to keep doing what you love (in Tinman's case killing fleshbags), you'll take anything you can get. Yeah Tinman's situation is rather unique, most HWS or Human Weapons Systems are owned by the corps that made them. Tinman owns himself wholly, and the world corps don't like the idea of a weapon of mass destruction not being under their thumb. At the same time he's too expensive to keep on the payroll. Actually in 2084 dollars Tinman's worth about 2.3 billion dollars, a Land Behemoth is the equivalent of a U.S.N. battle fleet. Suffice it to say Halliburton, and most especially Mr. Price probably won't take the loss sitting down.
I just wonder how the HLF will take the presence of a Land Behemoth essentially in their backyard, plus there's the whole issue of the three men who lost their trigger fingers. I wonder if that will come to haunt them later. For the ponies I mean, such an arrangement will be what Tinman would love. But the most important question that needs to be asked, how will the ponies and especially Princess Celestia react once they discover they basically have the harbinger of doom on their payroll?
Thank you for reading gentlereader I maybe a bit slow on updating this fic until my current project the The Great Slave King is completed, until next time.
Excellent job, mate! I'm loving this fic already. I find it fun enough when humans interact with ponies, so seeing ponies interact with a cyborg with the mass and size (if not bigger) of a bloody battlemech. Is the image for this fic pretty much what Tinman looks like?
469066 Yes gentlereader, the picture is the inspiration for the story. Except Tinman has 6 legs and is a bit smaller. At 10 meters tall Tinman is the size of a small building. The picture has a machine at least fifty meters tall.
I POSSESS THE FIRST COMMENT! ALL GLORY! :D
...Also, LOVIN' this story, keep up the good work!
the religious angles brought up in this are simply fascinating.
keep up the good work, im looking forward to the massive HLF failure
482944 Thank you for your comments gentlereader, I thought it might be interesting to show how someone who was formerly religious is this case Tinman, might react if it was his job to destroy his own religion. Plus Phoenix's close proximity to Utah made the L.D.S. faith a good choice for the religion is question.
483409 Thank you for your comments gentlereader, the mark of the beast idea hit me while I was thinking about what objections a religious fellow might have to ponification, literally become a beast in this case a pony was too good to pass up.
484127
just wondering, what is the LDS, exactly?
484291
Ah ha! that must be it. thank you for your contribution of knowledge, good sir.
484139 indeed it is also L.D.S. as an acronym I thought was neat since I use so many other acronyms, I figured that the ponies might find it confusing to understand.
484782
acronyms.
acronyms everywhere.
also, i noticed that you bolded out the companies name in this chapter but not the previous one.
484821 yeah I meant to do that and ill probably go about fixing that later.
484853
ah, i was wondering about that. glad to see its on purpose
Moment-by-moment review time!
I've always thought that "Noun Phrase" was a good pony name...
You use "antipathy" when you mean "antithesis." Opposite, not dislike.
You do know that infrared and ultraviolet are portions of the EM spectrum, right? (Sorry, I tend to overanalyze technobabble.)
I'm pretty sure the apostrophe is supposed to go before the numbers in an abbreviated year, since you're not including the leftmost digits.
"Edmund pulled out a flash and took several swigs." Minor typo point-out is go.
Alright, enough petty comments. What's my take on the whole? Well, you've certainly done a good job of setting up the dominoes. Seeing how they fall promises to be a delightful clusterfuck of epic proportions.
485968 Thank you for your comments gentlereader I shall correct my errors post haste. What I meant by EM spectrum was being able to see in radio waves, versus UV or infrared. Incidentally "I've always thought that "Noun Phrase" was a good pony name..." I'm unsure what you're referring to. I'm assuming the second paragraph of the journal entry.
Ugh I hate missing simple mistakes, so embarrassing thanks for corrections.
This is really rocking. You have excellent concepts, intriguing characters, and the possibilities of redemption, noble sacrifice, or even damnation all in place like a buffet of possibilities. You also have some fantastic iconic images here - a hulking behemoth of destruction looming over tiny pixy ponies of kindness, a tiny muffin on a pole the only solace of a machine god, goodness, the sweet, sweet lemonade just keeps pouring out.
This is a great concept, and you are pulling it off well.
never trust a shifty metal man, director
I'm kinda hoping to see if either of the princesses or the mane 6 will show up at some point. I mean that would be pretty awesome seeing the interact with Tinman.
Also I hope Tinman finds a chance to say:
images.wikia.com/en.futurama/images/e/ed/Bite_My_Shiny_Metal_Ass_by_Red_Flare.jpg
526241 Gentlereader thank you for your comments. Eventually the princesses will show up, but towards the end of the story. Personally I prefer not using the mane six, because I don't like being locked into other people's canon. Also, I find that usually people have an idea of how they feel the mane six should be portrayed, and any deviation from that ideal means they will be unhappy.
Tinman may or may not eventually utter the catchphrase depending on whether or not Bender is willing to offer favorable terms for the use of his trademark.
526241 *polishes Tinman's metal ass to a mirror shine* :D Same here. OMG, same here.
526426 Most likely Tinman would say suck my gargantuan metal cannons.
526441 Bender did say "Biite my colossal metal ass" once.
I'm calling it right now.
Sugar pie is either Pinkie pie's niece, or Daughter and she died in the fire.
527890 Thank you for commenting gentlereader. Actually Sugar Pie was made up on a lark, I knew I wanted a bubbly pony to contrast I made her a baker because I figured the muffins needed to come from someplace, and as a gift from her made the sharing of muffins more meaningful then just here's some muffins i picked up from the cafeteria. I gave her a personal tragedy, so that she would know loss and ground her, as opposed to an off the walls silly Pinkie Pie we all know and love. I came up with the name Sugar Pie, because I was furiously writing and needed a name stat. It was originally going to be just a placeholder, but in the end I liked it and so decided to keep it. And so that's how Equestria was made, or rather Sugar Pie.
I'm sorry if my reveal that Sugar Pie has no connection to Pinkie Pie disappointed you, but take solace in the fact that she is there in spirit. By sharing the innocence and joy that is the Element of Laughter. Until next time!
Once again, you offer a marvelous chapter within a brilliant scenario. The Muffin memory was powerful and vibrant for me, and the perfect choice. I felt longing and yearning from it. Perfect. That is smart writing.
Tinman is deliciously loathsome and the danging frisson of whether or not he might gain a heart - the lack of yellow bricks notwithstanding - is a constant tickle. The population around him are wonderful, and I am becoming attached to them all, even the AI Winston.
I also thank you for including cameos of Ginger and Nutmeg, I am so very honored. And having them blast off again, well.
I don't think I have enjoyed a sapient mech story as much since the original manga of Gunhed, and basically.... you and this story, rock.
It would be too easy to say you had me at 'gigantic mech', because mechs alone are not enough for me. You have made a memorable set of characters, and a fantastic scenario, and I cannot wait for more.
528044 Thank you for your comments Lady Chatoyance. It pleases me greatly that a writer of your caliber is enjoying my tale.
Regarding Tinman, he gave up his flesh to be strong like steel, but in the end lost something irreplaceable.Whether Tinman gains a heart like his namesake, even with a lack of wizards and ruby slippers remains to be seen. I think his situation is something akin the man who gained the whole world but lost his soul in the process. He may be an immortal god of war now, but we see that even gods sometimes yearn for something more.
After having read The PER: Michelson and Morely - The Speed Of Right, i knew they were exactly what I was looking for in PER antagonists, the blast off was both a nod to you and Team Rocket.
Ironically I originally was planning on making him be the traditional cyborg, humanoid form etc (along the same lines as all the king's horses), but when I saw the picture I knew to tell the the story Tinman needed to be as far removed from humanity as possible.
Fear not gentlereader I shall continue to tell Tinman's tale, and whether he should find damnation or salvation at the Phoenix Bureau, I fully intend to leave a satisfying conclusion.
Once again than you for reading gentlereader, until next time.
I'm pretty sure the seventh memory will be mating...
Because of what the PER pony said in the black market: “I’ll bet you just can’t wait to try out track seven, mating season, can you?”
And he copied Sugar Pie into this memory...
...
...
...
Awkward moment incoming !
527930
Eh, Doesn't really matter to me. That actually makes it better.
528132 Actually that is correct, he didn't remember what that track was just that it was supposed to be interesting. Tinman probably won't care too much though, beyond becoming more curious about her. He only copied Sugar Pie, because the pony in the muffin eating memory looked a lot like her. So Tinman tried to make the memory as real as possible by taking things from his reality and substituting them for objects in the memories he's experiencing. He's experiencing the emotions of the subject of the memory as it occurs, but because they are so alien to him he can't comprehend the emotions once the memory is over. So essentially he knows he felt something, but once the memory has ended he hasn't the slightest idea of what he just experienced.
528742 Are we going to see more combat in the next chapter? I find the chapters where all they do is talk slightly irritating.
I want to see less of this:
2.bp.blogspot.com/-Rba9ZUp_-uA/T3HSTfdh5LI/AAAAAAAAAC0/br0qQLh8Qu4/s760/blahblah.jpg
And more of this:
deviantart.com/download/32986988/battletech_akuma_at_factory_by_flyingdebris.jpg
And, if you can fit it into the story, some of this:
img.ponibooru.org/_images/8634bf464516227320e6c5e677821174/168038%20-%20blood%20death%20Dreadnought%20duplicate%20gore%20jelly_filled_pi%C3%B1ata%20p%E2%80%8Binkie_pie%20robot%20warhammer_40k.jpg
529765 Not so gentlereader thank you for your comments. I understand if your bellicose nature demands mayhem and carnage in your choice of fiction. Pray tell, how much violence is required to sate your lust for blood? While violence is not the foci of this literary work, I plan on using it, as a special treat to you my not so gentlereader I will include a battle scene of epic proportions, there will be blood. However I hope that the majority of this work being non combat related and dialogue, will not be too great a disappointment. Hopefully this will placate your wrath. If not, well I can only say that if you try to please everypony you'll end up pleasing no pony. Regarding pony torture, Tinman will not engage in such behavior due to his current contractual obligations, but the HLF might as time and budget permits.
Thank you for reading not so gentle reader, until next time.