Chapter 4: A Broken Promise, Darkness within and broken trust(Re-Edited)
Chapter 4: A Broken Promise, Darkness within and broken trust (Re-Edited)
Twilight awoke the next morning in her castle. Her body was still sore and covered with wounds from her battle against the Timber wolves last night. But, she was still grateful to Spyro and Cynder for saving her life. Twilight carefully got out of bed and head downstairs to the dining room where Spike was preparing breakfast. Nyx was seated at the table, waiting for her breakfast. The two were still bandaged and covered up from their wound from the battle, but they were making a full recovery.
“Good morning Spike. Morning Nyx.” Twilight greeted.
“Morning.” The two said with a smile.
“How are you feeling Spike?” Twilight asked.
“A little sore, but I’ll be okay. It’s gonna take more than a beating from a Timber wolf to take me down.” Spike said.
“And you Nyx?”
“My side hurts a little, but I’m okay.” She said with a smile.
“How are you feeling Twilight?” Spike asked.
“My legs still hurt from the bites those Timber wolves gave me, but they should heal up pretty soon.”
“Where are Spyro and Cynder?” Nyx asked.
“I think they’re still asleep. Let’s not bother them. We’ll let them come down when they’re ready.” Twilight said. “So, what’s for breakfast Spike?”
“Pancakes.” He said with a smile. He poured a small sample of batter into a fryer and started to sizzle. Then, a question came to his mind and realized something.
“Twilight?”
“Yes?”
“Didn’t Princess Celestia mention that she said that she was having nightmares about a large, purple dragon?”
Her eyes widened from Spikes question. She did remember that Celestia told her in the letter about her nightmare. She thought hard to get the answer she needed. Could Spyro be the dragon from Celestias nighmare? Could he bring devastation to Ponyville, Canterlot or Equestria? Nyx saw Twilight, knowing she might think that Spyro is the dragon behind Celestias nightmare.
“I don’t think Spyro would do anything like that.” Nyx finally said. Twilight and Spike looked over at Nyx with confusion in their eyes.
“How do you know Spyro would never do something like that?” Spike asked.
“Didn’t you see how he and Cynder protected us last night from the Timber wolves? They were risking their lives to save us. I don’t think an evil dragon would ever do anything like that. Besides, they’re going to raise a family together.”
Twilight and Spike looked at one another from Nyx’s statement. They have to agree that no pony or dragon would ever do anything evil by risking their lives to save others; not to mention Cynder is pregnant. They looked back at Nyx who had confidence in her eyes that she knows Spyro is innocent.
“We believe you Nyx, honestly we do. But were still not 100% clear if he really is the one that will cause chaos to Equestria. We’ll ask him when he comes down with Cynder.” Twilight said.
“Okay.” Nyx said. Spike brought a pile of pancakes to the table with maple syrup. The filly, mare and dragon began to eat, but still were unsure about Spyro.
Upstairs, Spyro began to stir as he slowly woke up from his sleep. He slowly got up and began stretching, cracking his back, legs, tail and wings. He inhaled the air and let out a deep sigh. Spyros body was still a little sore from the results of last night, but felt happy that he and Cynder were still alive and together. He looked down and saw Cynder beginning to wake up as well. She slowly lifted her head and let out a deep yawn. She then looked up at Spyro and smiled.
“Good morning.” Spyro said giving her a kiss on the cheek.
“Good morning.” Cynder said.
“Sleep well?” he asked.
“Best sleep I’ve ever had in my life.”
“Glad to hear that.” He said with a smile.
Cynder got up from the bed and began to stretch. She then looked down and checked the egg in her stomach. She rubbed her stomach and felt the egg was about to be laid in a couple days. She looked up and smiled at Spyro and he smiled back. Their moment was cut off by the sound of Cynders stomach growling. She blushed with embarrassment and looked away. Spyro couldn’t help but chuckle.
“You hungry?” he asked
“Yeah.” She then heard her stomach growling again; it was then followed up by Spyros stomach. The two were hungry, considering they didn’t eat anything ever since they arrived in this new dimension.
“Maybe we should go downstairs and find something to eat.” Spyro suggested. Cynder nodded in agreement. The two got off the bed and head downstairs. The two soon reached the dining room, where Twilight, Nyx and Spike were peacefully eating their breakfast.
“Good morning everyone.” The two said. The three looked up and smiled at the two dragons.
“Good morning.” The three said. The two dragons walked forward to the table and sat down next to Twilight.
“Sleep okay?” she asked.
“Best sleep we’ve ever had in our lives. Thank you.” Spyro said. Twilight smiled, knowing the two are healthy and well. “Glad to hear that.” she said. Spike took a few pancakes and added them to two empty plates, following it up by adding syrup to them. He then put the plates down in front of Spyro and Cynder. The two looked at the mysterious saucer-like objects. They didn’t know what they were.
“You two never had pancakes before?” Spike asked. They shook their heads. “Interesting. Well, go ahead and try it. Believe me once you try it, you’ll go high claws over them.”
Spyro hesitated for a second and took a bite. He slowly chewed for a second and his eyed widened with surprise.
“Well?” Spike said. Spyro swallowed the pancakes and smiled.
“These are good. I’ve never had anything this sweet before.” Cynder smiled and took a bite as well; she also found this new food delicious. The five continued eating at the table until Twilight spoke.
“Nyx, Spike we’ll be leaving to Canterlot in 2 hours. After your done eating, head upstairs and get your things.”
“okay.” The two said.
“What’s Canterlot?” Spyro asked.
“Canterlot is home to many rich ponies. It’s also where the Ruler of Equestria, Princess Celestia lives.” Nyx said.
“Ponies? Is that what you all call yourselves?” Cynder asked.
“Well, sort of. There are 4 different kinds of ponies. First there are earth ponies, next Pegasus’s are ponies with wings, Unicorns are ponies with horns, and finally there are Alicorns. They’re ponies with wings and horns.” Spyro and Cynder looked at her with confusion in their eyes.
“Were you two born yesterday in Equestria or something? It’s like you two never heard of ponies before.” Spike said. More confusion grew in the two dragons thoughts. Equestria? Ponies? This new world was making their heads spin.
“Are you two alright?” Nyx asked. Spyro and Cynder looked at each other and knew it was probably time to tell them they’re not from this world.
“There’s something we have to tell you guys.” Spyro started. “To tell you the truth, were not from this world.” Twilight, Spike and Nyx’s jaws dropped with shock.
“Wait! You mean to tell me you two are from another world!?” Twilight said with surprise. The two nodded.
“I guess that explains why you two have never heard of ponies and Equestria.” Spike said. Finally, the whole purple dragon destruction thing popped back into Twilight’s head. Twilight bit her lip and hesitated for a second before she spoke.
“Spyro?”
“Yes Twilight?”
“Ummm. Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure. Fire away.”
She hesitated once again to get her question out. “Ummmm. Have you ever…umm…cause chaos and destruction before?” Spyro stood there with shock. Why would she ask him that question? Suddenly, memories of him transforming into his dark form and causing destruction took a lot in him. But, he swallowed his fear and answered her question.
“Well, not exactly.” He answered.
“What do you mean ‘not exactly’?” she asked.
He shrugged and his eyes looked to the floor with sadness and fear running through his head. “It’s complicated.” He sadly said. Cynder then nuzzled Spyro to comfort him. He gladly nuzzled her back and started to calm down. He then turned his attention back to Twilight.
“But why ask me a question like that?” he asked.
“Well, remember when I told you about our ruler Princess Celestia?” She started. He nodded with understanding.
“Well, for the past few days, she has been having nightmares about a large purple dragon destroying Ponyville and Canterlot.” She answered.
Spyro looked at Cynder with surprise. This princess Celestia has been having the same nightmares the two have been getting for the past few days as well. Twilight looked at the two dragons with suspicion.
“You two know something about this?” she asked. Spyro looked at Twilight and nodded.
“Yes. For the past few days, me and Cynder have been receiving the same nightmare as well.”
“What? That doesn’t make sense. How is it that you and Cynder had the same nightmares? What is it that you two are not telling us?” Twilight was now curious about the two dragons. Spyro hesitated at first, but knows they had the right to know about them and why they are here. He finally started to explain about their origin. They first explained they come from a world called Avalar where dragons and other creatures live in peace and harmony, but explained there was a war from their world, but in the end they told them the war was now over. Spyro also explained to them he was part of the prophecy of the purple dragon of his world and possesses many abilities; he then later explained on about his arch nemesis Malefor also known as the dark master that he will be the one who will bring destruction to their world. Cynder explained her side of the story that she was under Malefors control and was trying to resurrect him, but thanks to Spyro, she changed back to normal. Spyro told them that he and Cynder are the only ones who can stop him once and for all. After he finished his story, the three looked at them with surprise and shock.
“I…I don’t know what to say.” Twilight said. She bowed her head to the two dragons with sadness. “I’m…I’m so sorry. I never knew you two had to put up so much in your lives. And I’m also sorry for misjudging you Spyro.”
Spyro looked at her with confusion. “What do you mean misjudge me?” he asked.
Twilight hesitated for a second and finally spoke. “When Celestia told me about the purple dragon in her nightmares, me and Spike were a little afraid of you because you look and match the dragon in her nightmares. But, Nyx said you two would never do anything that evil. I was finding it hard to believe you might be the one at first, but after you told me everything about yourself and what you and Cynder went through, I can’t help but feel guilty. I’m really sorry.” A small tear ran down her eye after she spoke. After what Spyro and Cynder heard of what Twilight said, they felt sorry for her.
“And I’m sorry to.” Spike finally said as he walked up to Twilight and bowed his head with sadness as well.
Spyro and Cynder smiled and started to comfort the two by embracing them in their wings and nuzzling them. “It’s alright Twilight. You and Spike didn’t know at first, but now that you know, me and Cynder forgive you.” Twilight and Spike smiled as they returned their own embrace with the two dragons. Nyx smiled and and joined the embrace with the four. When the five finally broke up, there was knocking at the door.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
“Twilight? Are you in there?” Twilight knew all too well who it was.
/Oh no. It’s my friends. How am I going to explain to them about Spyro and Cynder?/ Twilight was starting to panic. Twilight knows her friends are not easy around dragons; especially now that they know about Celestias nightmare about the purple dragon. How will they react to Spyro? Spike saw Twilight panicking. Spyro and Cynder looked at her with confusion.
“Are you okay Twilight?” Cynder asked. Twilight regained her focus and took a breath and smiled at the dragons.
“Yes. I’m fine. I just have to get the door. I’ll be right back.” They nodded and continued eating. Twilight started to head to the door with her mind still spinning. When she got to the door, she took another breath and opened it with her magic. Outside were Rainbow Dash, Rarity, FlutterShy, Apple Jack, and Pinkie Pie. They were about to say good morning, but suddenly saw the bandages and bruises on her body. They looked at her with shock.
“What in the name of Celestia happen to you darling?” Rarity asked with surprise.
“Oh. Well, I got attacked by a pack of Timber wolves last night in the Everfree Forest.”
“Why in tarnation did ya go into the Everfree Forest? Ya know it’s dangerous there; especially at night.” Applejack said.
“It’s a long story.” Twilight said.
“Umm..are you going to be o-okay Twilight?” Fluttershy asked.
“Of course Fluttershy.”
“My question is how the hay were you able to survive the Timber wolves?” Rainbow asked. Twilight hesitated for a second before she spoke.
“Come inside. I want you all to see something.” Twilight said as she started to walk down the hallway.
“OOOH!! I love seeing new things!” Pinkie Pie said with excitement. The six mares walked down the hallway until they reached the edge of the dining room. Inside the five mares heard Spike and Nyx talking, but soon heard two unfamiliar voices.
“Who’s in there Twilight?” Applejack asked. Twilight turned and looked at her friends. She put on a serious look on her face before she spoke.
“Listen, before anything else happens I want you all to meet my guest. And I want you all to-“
“TherearenewcommerstoponyvilleIwanttothrowthemawelcomepartyand-“ Pinkie Pie was immediately cut off by Twilight who stared at her with business and slight anger in her eyes. Pinkie slouched back with a weak smile.
“This is serious Pinkie. I want you all to give me a Pinkie promise that none of you will, scream, run, or anything else like that. Okay?” They looked at Twilight with surprise. She barley requested a Pinkie promise from her friends, but from the way she spoke, they knew she was being serious. They all then sighed and did their promise.
“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” They all said. Twilight smiled and spoke. “Thank you. Now, I promise what you are all about to see will not be scary and you’ll not be harmed.” The mare looked at her with confusion until she spoke.
“Spyro, Cynder. Can you two come here please?” she called out. They then started hearing clicking sounds from the floor. Finally, their eyes widened and saw a purple and black dragon in front of them. The tow dragons looked at the five ponies in front of them, until Spyro finally spoke.
“Umm..hi?” There was silence for a few seconds until Fluttershy blurted out.
“DRAG-“she cut of her sentence by covering her mouth with her hoof.
“Twilight are you out of your mind!? What the hay is with you brining dragons in your home!?” Rainbow blurted out.
“”I for one am not finding this acceptable at all!” Rarity stated.
“Did ya wake up on the wrong side of the bed Twi?” Applejack said panicking.
Pinkie then started screaming. “RUUUN!! THEY’RE GONNA EAT US-“
“QUIIIIIIEEEEEET!!!!” Twilight shouted at the top of her lungs; making her friends quiet down. Spyro and Cynder looked at them with confusion, trying to process what happened.
“Listen, I give you my word, these two mean no harm to anypony.” Twilight stated.
“And how the hay do you expect us to believe you?” Rainbow asked.
“Because these two were the ones who saved my life last night from the Timer wolves.” Twilight said. The mares looked at the dragons with surprise. It took a while for them to digest the information they took. Spike and Nyx hung from the side of the door frame until they finally stepped out.
“They saved our lives as well.” Nyx also stated. They saw Nyx and Spike with bruises and few bandages as well. Everypony, except Rainbow dash was finding this hard to believe. “I for one don’t believe what you say Twilight. There’s no way these dragons saved you. And don’t you know they could’ve eaten you while you were asleep!?”
“We would never do anything that cruel! We saved their lives by putting OUR lives in danger! If it wasn’t for me and Cynder, these three would’ve been dead by now! We swore by the names of our ancestors that we would and ALWAYS will protect any creature from harm’s way!” Spyro blurted out. Rainbow rushed forward and got close to Spyros face and looked at him angrily.
“You shut your trap you purple-“ Rainbow couldn’t finish her sentence as her eyes widened with shock. She flew back and warned her friends.
“Girls, this is the purple dragon Celestia mentioned in her nightmare. We have to take him out fast!” Rainbow said as she readied herself to attack. Spyro spoke in defense.
“I’m not the one your princess fears. Your referring to-“ his sentence was cut off when Rainbow rammed him in the chest and send him flying and crashing into a wall.
“SPYRO!!” Cynder shouted.
“Rainbow, he’s not the one Celestia fears!” Twilight said. Rainbow ignored her and pressed the attack. Spyro got up and felt woozy from the impact. Before he had the chance to recover, Rainbow once again rammed him in the chest and send him flying into the wall.
“Rainbow, stop it!!!” Twilight screamed. Rainbow ignored her again and went to Spyro to finish him off. That is until Cynder blocked her path.
“Get outta my way!” Rainbow snarled. Cynder glared down Rainbow and not budging at all.
“You will not lay a claw on him!” She said coldly.
“Have it your way!” Rainbow kicked Cynder dead center to the face and was fung to the air and landed on the ground. Rainbow turned her attention back to Spyro and charged again.
"You'll regret ever coming here to Equestria!" She shouted.
But before she could lay another hoof on her, Cynder rammed into her, causing the two to roll on each other.
Cinder threw her off of her and snarled. "Back off!" She shouted.
Rainbow got up and growled. "Alright, you wanna do this the hard way? WE'LL DO THIS THE HARD WAY!!" She lunged forward and rammed into her, causing her to to slide the floor and groan in pain.
Spyro opened one of his eyes and saw his mate hurt.
“Cynder!” he said weakly. He was unable to move.
Rainbow lunged at Cynder and pinned her down, but Cynder caught her hoofs, and tried to pry the pegasus off of her.
Twilight ran up to Rainbow and tried to pry her off of Cynder.
“Rainbow, that’s enough!!” Trying to get the crazy mare off, Cynder use her wind Element, but missed and the attack hit Twilight directly in the chest, causing her to land on the floor. The rest of Twilights friends ran to her and picked her up.
“Are you okay darling?” Rarity asked. Before Twilight could answer, the suddenly heard a loud scream in front of them. It was coming from Cynder.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!” Cynder roared in pain when Rainbow made a direct hit to her spot where the egg was developing. Rainbow finally got off her and looked at Cynder. Cynder grunted in pain as she held her stomach. Tears of pain ran down her check and was unable to move. Twilight knew Rainbow Dash made the biggest mistake of her life.
“Serves you right.” She said with a glare in her eye.
“How dare you. I'll never forgive you for what you've done.” Said a cold, dark, growling voice.
The main six turned to the voice. It was Spyro, but he looked differently. His scales were longer purple, they were black; dark as night. His eyes were glowing blank white as he glared down Rainbow Dash with anger and vengeance. Spyro was now Dark Spyro. Their eyes widened with fear as they looked at Spyros new form. Rainbow Dash was also frightened by his form. Without warning, Dark Spyro rushed forward and punched Dash in the stomach; sending her flying to a wall. Dash got up and coughed a little blood out from her body. Dark Spyro lunged forward to Rainbow again quick as a flash and started to scratch and punch her, leaving behind bruises and deep cuts in her body. As Dark Spyro continued his attacks, Rainbow screamed in pain. She wanted the pain to stop. Finally, Dark Spyro stopped and grabbed her by the throat and lifted her off the ground. Rainbow was gasping for breath as Dark Spyro continued to squeeze her throat harder.
“I’ll make sure you die slowly and painfully!” Dark Spyro said with a cold growl. The girls gasped for what they heard. Tears began to run down Rainbow’s cheecks as Dark Spyro was ready to finish her off. He opened his mouth and dark negative energy began to build up inside.
“Farewell fool!”
“SPYRO STOP!!!!” Dark Spyro turned to the source of the voice. It was Cynder, who had fresh tears running down her cheeks. “Please Spyro, don’t do this. This isn’t you.” Dark Spyros face slowly began to soften up. He closed his eyes and dropped Rainbow Dash. Dash finally began to breath and started coughing. She got up and to her friends. When she finally turned back, Spyros scales began to turn back to their original color. His white eyes changed back to purple pupils. After the negative energy left his body, Spyro collapsed a little to the floor and breathed heavily. Cynder ran to Spyro to see if he was alright.
“Are you okay Spyro?” She asked, No answer. She looked at his face and saw tears running down his face and gritted his teeth.
“Spyro?” Spyro didn’t answer. Instead he got up and ran for the door and flew away.
“SPYRO! COME BACK!” It was too late. Spyro was gone. Cynder stood at the doorway looking up in the sky and didn’t see Spyro. Small tears ran down her face with fear and sadness. Twilight finally walked up to Cynder and gently put a hoof on her shoulder.
“Cynder, I-“ Cynder pushed the hoof off her shoulder and glared at Twilight with anger. Tears were still running down her cheeks.
“DON’T EVER COME NEAR ME OR SPYRO AGAIN!!” She shouted. She turned around and flew away to the area where Spyro flew.
“WAIT CYNDER!!” But Cynder was out of hearing reach and disappeared. She bowed her head with sadness and fear. Those two dragons were the only ones who can save Equestria, but now they’re gone. All because of Rainbow Dashes actions. She walked back to the hallway and looked and Rainbow dash. She was still covered with bruises and cuts from Dark Spyro, but she’ll be fine when she’s bandaged up.
“You’ll be alright darling. All you need is to get bandaged up and you’ll be fine.” Rarity said. Rainbow smiled as she looked at Rarity and her friends.
“Thanks.” Rainbow and the others looked up at Twilight. Their smiles immediately disappeared when she looked into her eyes. She was gritting her teeth and glaring down at Rainbow dash with anger.
“Don’t you have any idea what you have done?” Twilight asked with a low growl. They can tell she was very angry. But they can’t understand why. Rainbow was almost killed by an angry dragon.
“What are you talking about Twilight?”
“I’m talking about Spyro and Cynder. You had no right to attack them like that. They meant no harm to us.” Twilight continued to keep her anger from exploding.
“No harm? NO HARM?!” Rainbow was not getting angry. “You saw what that dragon did to me! He nearly killed me for Celestia sake! I don’t understand why you’re protecting him. He’s a dragon for crying out loud! Dragons are dangerous!” Twilight was now starting to lose grip of her anger. She tried to calm down, but Rainbow Dash continued. “I don’t care if that black dragon was protecting him for who knows why, but he’s the dragon who will cause chaos and destruction to Equestria! HE AND THAT BLACK DRAGON DOESN’T DESERVE TO ROAM FREELY AROUND EQUESTRIA! I DON’T CARE WHAT IT TAKES TO PUT HIM IN CHAINS, BUT I WILL NOT REST UNTIL HE AND THAT BLACK DRAGON ARE PROPERLY-“
“SHUT UP!!!!!!!!” Twilight finally lost her temper and released her anger. Everypony looked at her with fear. Her coat was now white, her mane and tail were on fire, and her violet colored eyes were now red. Twilight rage-shifted.
“HOW DARE YOU SAY THINGS LIKE THAT TO THEM?!!! SPYRO AND CYNDER HAVE GONE THROUGH MORE THAN ALL OF YOU COULD EVER KNOW!! Rainbow opened her mouth, but she was cut off by Twilight. “NO!! I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT THOSE TWO, BUT SPYRO HAD THE RIGHT TO BE ANGRY WITH YOU FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!! YOU ATTACKED CYNDERAND NOW THE EGG MIGHT NOT HAVE A CHANCE TO SURVIVE BECAUSE OF YOU!!” The mares fear was now replaced with confusion.
“What are you talkin about sugar cube?” Applejack asked. Twilights rage-shift ended and let out a deep sigh. She then strted to explain that Spyro and Cynder are a mated pair and Cynder is pregnant. She then explained That Spyro and Cynder are from another world called Avalar. She explained next about how they lived and what the two have been through. She then finally explained to them about the large purple dragon named Malefore who is the true dragon who will bring chaos and devastation to Equsetria. After she finished, her friends stood there with shock.
“I can’t believe this. I…I never knew those two have gone through so much, even at such a young age.” Rarity said feeling sorry for the dragons.
“How…how awful. I…I don’t know what to say.” Fluttershy said with a few tears running.
“ Ay never knew Cynder wus pregnant. I feel worried about her.” Applejack said.
“At such a young age, I never knew what kind of evil stuff they had to go through.” Pinkie Pie said as her tail and mane flattened. Rainbow stood there with shock and unable to form words.
Applejack walked up to Twilight and rested her hoof on her shoulder. "Twi, we're so sorry fer what happened, and we're mighty sorry fer breaking our Pinkie Promise. We weren't being good friends."
Twilight sighed. "It's okay everypony. It was all a misunderstanding. I should've known you all would react like that when you all would met Spyro and Cynder." She said.
“What do we do now?” Rarity asked.
“There's only one thing to do. Spike, take a note.” Twilight said. Spike pulled out a quill and empty blank scroll and began to write as he followed Twilights words.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I’m sorry to say that I and my friends are not coming to Canterlot. The reason is because we have found the answer to your nightmare problem. Last night, two dragons saved me, Nyx, and Spike from the Timber wolves in the Everfree Forest. Their names are Spyro and Cynder. Spyro is the dragon who holds the answers to your nightmare problem. Apparently he and Cynder are longer with us because a certain pony threatened and attacked them without hesitation. I don’t know where they are, but me and my friends are going to find them. Those two are the only ones who can save Ponyville, Canterlot and Equestia. I’ll contact you as soon as possible when we find them and bring them back to Ponyville.
Yours truly.
Princess Twilight Sparkle.
After the letter was complete, Spike inhaled and let out his magical fire and send the letter to Celestia.
“So where do ya think they might be Twi?” Applejack asked.
“I don’t know AJ, but I think the Everfree forest would be a good place to start.” They all nodded and followed Twilight. Twilight heard Rainbow Dash flying behind her and stopped.
“What do you think you’re doing Rainbow?” Twilight asked coldly.
“I wanna help you find Spyro and Cynder.” She answered.
“For what you have done to Spyro and Cynder, you’ve done enough damage for today.”
“But Twilight-“
Twilight sharply turned her head and glared at Rainbow coldly, making her stop in her tracks. The girls also had to agree Rainbow has done enough for right now. She turned around and ran forward to the Everfree forest with Nyx, Spike and the rest of her friends behind her. Rainbow Dash was alone in Twilights castle. She slumped to the ground and buried her face into her hooves and started crying. She felt very guilty for what she has done to the dragons and wished she would take back everything she did to Spyro and Cynder. She whimpered softly as tears continued to run down her face.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She whispered as she continued to cry harder.
To be continued…
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Awesome story. Big fan of Spyro!
Let me start by saying that I like this story. The concept of two especially powerful and fully matured Spyro and Cynder in Equestria alone is enough to attract my attention, but the a addition of my favorite alicorn filly Nyx made me loose my mind in chapter 3. However, while I do like this story; this chapter really bothered me. I thought that other mane six characters (especially Rainbow Dash) were way out of line and really out of character in this chapter. I understand that you likely wanted to create a conflict in the form of distrust between the protagonists, but this conflict was handled to rashly and heavy handedly in my opinion. Suspision of Spyro and Cynder is understandable in this situation due to the prophcey that Celestia had. This suspicion is enough in my opinion to create a conlict in the story where the protacgonist are not 100% sure of their new dragon friends. However, the other ponies instead immediately started screaming for the blood of two dragons that they had only just meet, while ignoring the testimony of their "best friends" Twilight, Spike and Nyx being rescued by them. Furthermore these actions are were only rationalized by the mane 5 by the fact that Spyro (and apperantly Cynder by association) is a purple dragon while completely ignoring the fact that Spike is also a purple dragon. In conclusion, this chapter is a bit of a mess involving an abuse of the cap lock button. I hope this improves in future chapters (especialy since we have yes to introduce Spyro to the other princesses) as I do have high hopes for this story which has had a good start to it. But for now this chapter gets four
out of 5
4883686 I can understand what your saying. I just wanted to give the story a little dark twist. Also, Twilights friends have problems with dragons and don't trust them easily, especially Rainbow Dash. But above all, i'm glad your enjoying my story.
4885726
The other issue is the fact that they make no address to the fact that Spike is a "purple" dragon as well. Emotional outbursts (or bloodlust in this case) should not be exclusive to one individual when they share the problem trait(s) with another. It makes the characters seem ignorant and overly bias as they don't even reference the common traits shared between Spyro and Spike in regards to their prejudice. Spike also makes no remark about how the characters apparently now hate (or are at least speciesist) againts his own species.
4885772 You make a good point there. I'll try to improve in chapter 5, but I can't make any promisies.
4885831
That's all I ask. Again I do love the first three chapters (expecially Nyx), and I look foward to the rest of your epic tale of Dragons and Ponies.
What's a timer wolf?
“Because these two were the ones who saved my life last night from the Timer wolves.” Twilight said. The mares looked at the dragons with surprise. It took a while for them to digest the information they took. Spike and Nyx hung from the side of the door frame until they finally stepped out.
Also, is the egg dead? Sucks.
Ooc chapter is ooc.
Harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsh!!!!!!!
The breaking of a Pinkie Promise is a gigantic plothole here!
It would make more sense if it were just a regular promise.
It would also help to distinguish thoughts into separate paragraphs.
This...
...should be like this:
Another thing too the focus areas could use a little help with a horizontal line between sections. With the earlier chapters like between focusing on Nyx and then shifting to Spyro. You can still have the location included at the start of each section, but it can help those who may lose track if they are distracted.
Sorry, i liked the story. It is great, the Idea is really great. But this Chapter just killed it for me. I continue to read the other chapters and hope they are more enjoyable
First of all, if it is so easy as a single Pegasus pony to beat two war forged Dragons with out much of a problem, and harming them so strong. WHY, i ask again, WHY would Celestia fear a single Dragon? it makes no sens. Just Drama for Drama's sake. a conflict, to be good,has to ways to grow.
One: Slowly over distrust and anger/fear.
Two: A action of one of the Partys that force the other party to act. If Spyro had attacked ore some thing it would be believable. But this way? Again, Drama for Drama's sake, and this is not interesting.
Next point, Twilight could just grab RD with Magic and stop all this. But like the same with Nyx, i think she just hates everyone around her so she just stands by and do nothing. Same goes for the rest of her so called friends.
And Cynder? She just stands there and don't defend herself? She is a mother for .... sake. Any instinct in her would tell her to fight or to run. And with fight i mean, with everything she has in her, to protect her unborn egg.
Where is the next chapter of legend of spyro
F*** YOU RAINBOW DASH!!!
