Tacitus has just moved to Ponyville and is trying to go on with his life. All he wants is to go on without being hurt anymore than he already has. But things change when he meets the residents of Ponyville, who see his sadness and are determined to help him. He doesn't want their help, but they won't give up easily. It's time Tacitus learned what real friendship was.
This is my first story, and it's the first part of a series I'm planning. Any and all suggestions and criticisms are welcome. Also, as a side note, Tacitus's cutie mark is the Eye of Horus, which I call the Eye of Horsus so that it fits in with the pony world. Anyway, I've rambled enough. Enjoy the story!
Sequel is here
Chapters (5)
7k words chapter? The description looks good so far. I'll give this a read tonight :>
Just don't use PonyCreator.
4781071 I agree. Since this is your first fic, you couldn't know that people have such a negative response to Pony Creator ponies. Maybe you can find a screencap that works and put the title over it, even if it doesn't seem to be that closely related. I'd suggest finding something ASAP, even while it's on the front page, even if it's not great, just as a placeholder.
What I often do is look for something I like on Derpibooru and ask the artist nicely if I can use their work as cover art with credit and link back. I've found that most of them are very generous and say yes. That can also be a really good way to shop for artists whose style or subjects you like. I find I use the same artists for most of my things. And I try to get things lined up before I publish.
Anyhow, that was a wall of text, but I hope some of it's useful.
Hmm, that got me curious to see why he doesn't want friends. There has to be a reason why.
I love it
4781311 Shit, the description and you're comment just dropped me into "that mood"...
Perhaps it's because everyone who he's ever been close to has turned him away, either through death or otherwise...
There we go, got that out of my system, I'm not sure, let's find out! now to read the story sometime...
Pony creator comments aside, this is a good start so far. You've gotten me interested, and I can't wait to see where it goes. I do have a couple of notes, but it's only grammar and formatting notes.
It can feel like a wall of text, so you should separate the paragraphs with a space, so that all the text doesn't look so close together.
There were also a couple of instances where questions lack a question mark, such as
You could make a small pass to catch them.
Like I said, though, it's a good start.
4781071
Nothing wrong with it for those of us who can't draw.
As for the story, pretty good, though I saw where used when wear was what should've been used.
>.> and I can't blame him for not wanting to hang out with Rainbow Dash.
4781741 Yeah, I noticed as I was rereading it. I'll go back and fix it.
I know the pony generator isn't very popular, but I wanted some visual of him, so I worked with what I had.
4782155
As I said, I think it's fine for those of us who can't draw like myself, so I think it's fine as is.
4781654 Fixed! Thanks for the heads up
4786994 Where do you see those errors? I'll go through it again to check. As far as your concern with Pinkie, she hasn't given up. She's just concerned because Tacitus is different than Cranky. Cranky commented that he had had friends, but he didn't want anymore. Tacitus says that he never wants friends. Period. This confuses Pinkie, because he seemed so nice when she met him that she can't comprehend him not having or wanting friends. But she hasn't given up. She'll keep right on trying in the next chapter.
This entire conversation doesn't make sense. This takes place after the events of season 4 so the everfree shouldn't be as dangerous. In Season 4 we've seen Spike and Owliscious go in there on their own. And AppleBloom has been there alone to walk to Zecora's. so this entire conversation makes no sense
4795560 Well, since we don't know what happens after season 4 yet, how can you say that the Everfree Forest still isn't dangerous? There's still plenty of creatures in there that can do them harm. If nothing else, the fact that they've been in there and haven't come back yet is enough to cause worry.
4795756 True HOWEVER after the 4 premiere the everfree was much brighter than it was three seasons before
4795761 Good point. But, by looking at the materials I have with me, there's nothing to say that the forest isn't still dangerous. At best, it seems like it has been partially tamed. Parts of it have been explored and established in the series, so they probably know which parts to avoid. Still, if my little sister went into the woods without telling me and then she was late coming home, I'd be freaking out
4795786 I wouldn't know I'm an only child
4795805 Even still, you raise good points.
4795812 As do you
An interesting start to your first fic! It seems Tacitus has a history he'd rather not repeat, even if that means making himself suffer the consequences.
A few things I feel could be worked on though: you could use a little spacing throughout the chapter. It's a little hard in places to not get overwhelmed with how fast everything seems to jumble together when you read line to line with no breaks for your eyes. Especially the beginning with Pinkie Pie's monologue, it gets a little intense. Just separating different sections of dialogue from each other or from scene descriptions would do wonders I think, Like after Pinkie leaves to prepare the party and she mumbles to herself about meeting Tacitus. I'd almost forgotten she wasn't still standing right in front of him the transition was so fast..
Aside from that, a few places felt rushed, like when Tacitus was buying his house or his emotional reaction to the photographs. I found myself wanting a little more filler into the situation. It might just be in his character to have little episodes like that, but seeing such a pained reaction related in just a few sentences really left me wanting to know more.
All in all, I found it quite enjoyable, if a bit brief. I'll be looking forward to where you take your idea from here.
All six ponies need to give him one big group hug. He may either get mad, or burst into tears at the show of affection, but the guy needs it badly.
Very good read.
This is one of the saddest sounding story's I've ever read... I LOVE IT!
4796705 Thank you so much for your input. It really means a lot to hear you say that you're enjoying it, and I'll definitely work harder on the spacing. As far as the filler goes, I originally planned to make some scenes longer, but at 7k+ words for the first chapter I thought it might be too much.
But again, I'll work on it. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story and the other stories I have in mind for Tacitus. 
4797754 Thank you, I'm glad you like it.
A group hug is inevitable, but the reason for the hug and his reaction? Well, that would be telling 
Just have to wait and see!
What will hapend next
4806021 You'll find out soon
Damn, Tacitus is a badass.
And hooray, backstory next chapter!
4806136 Ohhhh yes. This chapter and the one following are the ones I've been most looking forward to writing. Tears will be shed my friend.
In spite of the obvious self insert (which traditionally, to be blunt, are usually complete shit with a Mary Sueish MC), I read this anyway. However, since you seem to avoid the Mary Sue trope, I'll stick around for now.
Ohh, your OC just happens to be famous...
Is it wrong that I want this to end in tears? Just checking.
Hey look! It did end in tears.
I need help.
IMO, seems a bit OOC for Rainbow.
Also, I appreciate the historical puns. I personally enjoy them.
4807271 I feel a personal relationship with this character and a lot of him is based on me, but I understand the reluctance to read because of typical Mary Sues. I tried to stay away from anything that may seem Mary Sueish, but the whole "being famous" thing actually has a big part on his past and why he became the way he is. As far as Rainbow goes, I was trying to show her in a more humble light. Surely after four seasons of learning lessons she can give credit where credit is due, but you may have a point.
I strive to make a good, interesting character and gripping stories, but I'm new and I make mistakes 
I hope you enjoy this stories and the others I have in mind 
4810090 Any tips you can offer?
4810881 Thanks, I really appreciate it
you sir, deserve a medal. the feels
Damn Blueblood!
Damn illnesses!
Damn feels!
Group hug! Yay!
Small little grammatical note, when doing flashbacks, saying things like "The scene changes..." can read too much like a script. Things like (for example) "His memory flashes back to...", "Months later..." and "Out of his memories, Tacitus looks around the living room..." could be better.
Nevertheless, great work.
Don't cry, don't cry, don't-... Fuck it!
4820124 Good point. I should probably go back and fix that.
Hope I delivered the group hug you were hoping for 
4820049 It really means a lot to hear that
I was hoping this chapter would be a feels-seeking missile, and it looks like I succeeded 
Moooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre
if that is ok with you
4843143 The epilogue should be out tomorrow. School is about to start again, so things have been kind of hectic and I haven't been writing very much.
After this, I have at least one more story planned for Tacitus and its going to be epic!
This is Tacitus right now.
p.gr-assets.com/540x540/fit/hostedimages/1380426756/852955.jpg
Joking aside, this was a good read. Interested to see where the sequel goes.
4849994
I'm laughing at this harder than I think I should. Thank you for your comments and I'm glad that I was able to bring some enjoyment to you and to others with this story. I hope you enjoy the other stories I have planned.
4850008 You're welcome.
Just a small little note, make sure to reclassify your story as Complete, just so people know that it's over.
4850020
Totally slipped my mind. I fixed it.
'sniff' Such a lovely ending. Great work
and I can't wait for the sequel!
4875697 The sequel will be an adventure. I don't want to give away too much, but it will involve traveling to what was the Roamen Empire and dealing with something that came from there. More than that, I really can't say. You'll just have to wait to find out.
Oh, a quick comment on this and your new fic--put an extra space between paragraphs. That makes it an awful lot easier to read.
Your writing is really good, and I love your historic pony place names!
But the guy who discovered Tutankhamen's tomb is dead after he discovered it and Hatshepsut is not a palace but an Egyptian pharaoh and you just butchered the Roman Empire here.
My favourite era are from the 1700's until the 1900's and my(three) favourite Civ's are: United Kingdom(England, Scotland(thanks for saying no), and Northern Ireland), The French(1st and 2nd Empire, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th Republic, and the Bourbon Dynasty), and the Swedish Empire(the Carolean era)
5068823 Hoofshepsut was not the name of the palace, it was the name of the pharaoh that lived in that palace. It's the same as saying the castle of King Arthur or something like that. I changed it from Rome to Roam so it fits in better with the MLP world.