• Member Since 9th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen 12 hours ago

Skyfire Storm


I write slice-of-life fluff.

T

As a high-ranking and valued member of the Lunar Guard of Equestria, Stormfire's day-to-day life generally revolves around protecting the ponies he holds close to his heart, as well as the Night Princess herself from any possible threats. But just how far will he go to carry out his guard duties? And why does he want to protect them in the first place?

This is his story to tell, just like everypony else has one of their own.

This is his life.

Rated T for frequent language and possibly graphic violence. This story will delve into Stormfire's life in-depth and will be pretty dark and dramatic at times, but I will try to give it comedic elements throughout and an overall optimistic tone. Constructive criticism is accepted; as always, feel free to give advice on how to make the story better. Rude and or hostile comments will be deleted.

Earlier chapters will be undergoing reediting at some point this year.

All OCs in this story (except the ones that belong to me) will be featured with the consent of their respective owners.

Now with its own Fan Wiki and TVTropes pages.

Set in the Pegiverse, from the Great Gryphon War (around twenty-five years ago) to the present day.

Edited with Grammarly. A story about life, love, and how our day-to-day experiences shape us into the kind of people we become.

Chapters (42)
Comments ( 259 )

Post more ~soon! :D

Well done.

4811517 I'm glad you like it and I'll update it in a few days time.

Alright, I'm going to do this how I do this with the people I edit for. I'll be posting the editorial part now and the review comment later or when I wake up.

Before the war had been declared, Blazefire worked as a soldier, preparing and training for the war and Equinox Moon worked in the town's weather team.

Try,
Before the war had been declared, Blazefire worked as a soldier; preparing and training for the war.

Stick the part for were Equinox worked somewhere else.

she were forced to choose the hard way out.

Was not were

The town of Gryffsvale lay around 250 miles to the west of the fighting zone, near a large military outpost, where Blazefire worked.

Try,
The town of Gryffsvale lay two hundred fifty miles to the west of the combat zone. Near a large military outpost where Blazefire worked.

What he didn't know was that the war was becoming more fierce and terrible and the chances of him coming back home decreased every moment .

Take out the and after terrible, add a period.

She nuzzled her foal bump

That's physically impossible.

"You will, silly." replied a voice.

Take out the comma.

He said that he'll be back soon, yet it's been over a month since he left and he still has not returned.

Replace comma by soon with period. Has not becomes hasn't.

"I'm now alone... My husband is... I don't know what happened to him.

My shouldn't be capitalized.

"Honey-pie, I apologize if I'm being overly negative, but what if Blazefire... doesn't come back?

Wow, dude I would punch her like there's no tomorrow. That's one of the most harsh things you can say to a military wife, it's just down right demonic.

"NOT LONG NOW..." replied the doctor.

Umm...try not to use periods, try an exclamation point. And use yelled or shouted instead of replied.

"LISTEN, MA'AM. I HAVE A PONY HERE WHO IS ABOUT TO GIVE BIRTH."

Use an exclamation point instead of a period.

They landed at the hospital about five minutes later and ran into the towering building as fast as they can.

Could, at least do could instead of can.

Just so you know, I will never forgive the Gryphons that killed my father and almost destroyed my mother.

Take out just so you know.

Alright I'll get to my review when I wake up, but there's some errors I caught. I hope that they help you.

Till the next one

-R

4811626 Yeah, I was in a bit of a hurry writing this. I'm working on my cell phone right now, so it's more stressful writing. I'll fix this chapter up right away.

4811655
Got it, I'll give a review when I wake up.:twilightsmile:

Awesome introduction, possibly your best story so far. Your writing has definitely improved, and that ending though! So heartbreaking too that Stormfire never got to know his father. :fluttercry:

4811626 Can you review some of MY writing?? :D

4813786

Sure, I'll do it when I can.

Interesting Story. I'm a bit sad about the father,but this may lead into some good character development. Great job.

I'm working on Chapter 3 as we speak, folks. It should have been finished earlier but I was busy with stuff. Sorry about that, everyone.

Sorry, everypony. I was in Europe for a week and that slowed down progress on Chapter 3. I hope to have it done in a little while.

Great chapter. I loved the lesson, and that they are now going to Equestria, but I wonder. Why did the equestrian Airships strike? I hope that gets answered in later chapters.

Wow. Intense chapter. I guess Storm isn't going to like equestria that much. I do hope he makes some friends in Cloudsdale though. Thanks for a great chapter. I loved how they showed Friendship can continue on.

I hope Storm will get to see Rain again in the future. Because I think they'd make a great couple.

5283235 Don't worry, dude. He will get to see her in a later chapter.

Pretty good story so far! :pinkiehappy: Can't wait for more!

Wow. I wouldn't want to be High right now. That must have sucked. Great chapter. I can't wait to read the next part.

I think that Storm can trust High Wind. After all, his daughter said so herself: he's one of the greatest dad's in the world.

Nice job. I loved this chapter. It was great seeing High being a good father and example to Storm. Also great lesson about bullying. I think you did a great job with your story. Good luck with the next chapter and good luck with your PC.

Wow. That was interesting. I never thought Summer was that type of Mare. I feel sorry for Storm. I hope he finds a real mare friend soon. Great job with this chapter. I can't wait for another chapter.

Poor storm. :fluttercry: Great chapter, can't wait to see what's next.

5465497 I know, right? She seemed so nice at the start of the chapter.

Nice chapter. I approve of the new crush. Storm needs it. He needs to be able to trust girls and Blue seems like a good choice. Great job.

I agree with SageBrony on what he said. After all, Storm should at least give Blue a chance, despite how badly Summer harmed him emotionally.

THEY KISSED! YEAH!!!!! Nice chapter. I loved the part where Storm couldn't figure out how to land for a bit. I can't wait to read what is going to happen between Storm and Blue. Great job and good luck.

It's good to see that Storm is letting go of his previous distrust toward mares, thanks to Blue when she opened herself up to him.

Great job, but with the way Solar is acting, I say either his wife or his daughter is going to have to yell some sense into him.

5667545 They sure will :ajsmug:

Also, a new character will make an appearance in Chapter 11 and he'll be just as overprotective as Solar Blast is, maybe even more.

Halfway!?!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! :pinkiesad2: :raritycry: :fluttercry: IT WAS JUST GETTING GOOD!!!! I DEMAND MOAR MY GOOD SIR!!!! :flutterrage:

5667624 Don't worry, dude. The story may turn out longer than I expect it to be. It all depends on whether I come up with ideas for more chapters than I have planned right now.

I'm in agreement with SageBrony07 as to what's causing Solar to act so aggressively toward Storm for wanting to take his daughter on a date. Also, its good to see Summer and Stormfire reconciling with each other as friends too.

5667690 You'll find out what's causing his behavior towards Storm in the next chapter.

5667751 Also, a completely new character will appear in Chapter 11, and he'll be just as overprotective of Blue as Solar is.

5667754 Even though Blue confessed that she's hardly had any friends before Stormfire came into her life?

5667631
GREAT!!! Can't wait for it!!! :pinkiehappy:

5667869 Spoiler alert: He's a close relative of hers.

5667893 I'll not reveal who exactly it is because it'll spoil much of the next chapter.

5667947 Also, if I don't procrastinate, it MIGHT be up tomorrow.

5667947 Question: Is Blue that beautiful mare on your icon standing next to Stormfire?

Sharpbeak and Rainwynd are nice characters.

Sharpbeak is probably the coolest griff in class. lol

Not a lot to say about this chapter. Pretty good so far. Making friends is always importante!

I liked that Storm learned to rise above himself in the event of a crisis. Even if it involves an enemy.

It's also nice that Lightning Wing decided to stop being mean. :)

Sad when Storm learned of his dad's death though. But he needed to know. Ten years is a long time without knowing that.

Not a bad story so far. TBH, I haven't been reading it yet so I'm still catching up. I'll read more chapters later. :)

5668699 I thought so. She makes a perfect match for Stormfire.

Here's a Message to Hurricane and His Goons:
WHY DON'T YOU THREE BUCK OFF, YOU GUYS WANT TO LIVE LIKE OWLS, GO LIVE IN A SHED, YOU THICK-HEADED THUG FREAKS!!!!
SORT YOUR BUCKING LIFE OUT HURRICANE!!!! NOW CAN YOU SEE WHY I'M SO BUCKING ANGRY?!?!
(Did a Reference to Shaun of the Dead)
(clears throat)
But I'm Glad High Wind Got Here Just in Time... Thanks for being a good father to him and saving Storm.
I Hope You'll Give Punishments to Hurricane and his goons
5417881

It was great seeing High being a good father and example to Storm. Also great lesson about bullying.

It Sure is & it is a great lesson about bullies.

5709600 Glad you like the chapter, dude.

Login or register to comment