The Visit
There was dark place beneath the earth. No light entered this place. At least light that occurred naturally, that is. A limitless pit full of untold despondency and woe for the few unfortunate souls who inhabited it. The trio of high spires made of jagged obsidian were the only landmark within this godless place. The rest of this hell was relatively unknown save for the few who have traversed the depths of this blasphemous domicile. The distinct smell of sulphur filled the already murky air. A low fog drifted beneath the peaks. There was an indomitable silence that filled the whole fissure. There was only a break in it, more like a shatter, when the distinguishable sound of rattling chains or the far of screams of utter despair. Though, even those sounds faded over time. It was a place no living being had any business associating with.
Yet it was home for Tirek.
It had been for so long his memory ached to find a time to when he did not look at the same stone formations or the same trickle of black coloured water dripping agonisingly slowly into some toxic lake far below where he slept.
So imagine his luck when the gates of his prison flew open and he could walk free amongst the land of the living. It was a brief respite from the unimaginable monotony of ‘eternal’ imprisonment. It was quite fun while it had lasted.
The power. Oh, the power. It was addicting. It was exhilarating. For a brief moment he had never felt more alive. The command of the cosmos was at his disposal. Victory was in his grasp. It was like he had ascended to a higher plane.
He was a god.
Then it was gone.
All gone.
As if he had never had it in the first place. He had returned to his crippled, haggled state. A beggar in rags. A deity humbled. All over in an instant. It had been snatched from his hands. A great fall from grace to the depths of nothingness.
And now it was over.
He was nothing again. And would be for what he could only presume would be for quite a considerable time.
So here he was. Forgotten. Broken. Shattered. Again.
So imagine Tirek’s surprise when he heard footsteps climb the aged and cracked steps of his spire. He imagined they had not been used since his last imprisonment. It was quite shocking for him. He had just begun to settle back into his routine of doing absolutely nothing. And he had being doing so well. He almost thought he was dreaming again. He didn’t dream much though. They were full of pain and the past. He didn’t like the past. In fact he didn’t like anything really. When was the last time he had actually enjoyed something other than revenge? Nothing came to him. He was empty. But he also had a long life. His memory was sketchy. The Elements must have caused some cranial damage.
Eventually the thud stopped, indicating that the person, whoever it may have been, had reached the uppermost point of the spire. The sickly green light that radiated from the pinnacle, that highlighted him like some twisted trophy, did little to help him see beyond a couple feet. His eyes were bad anyway. His vision still had not recovered from the blast. Patches of white occasionally danced in the peripheries of his vision. Finding himself becoming frustrated with trying to strain his eyes beyond the shadows, he decided to begrudgingly call out.
“If you have come to gawk at the monster in the cage then you might as well get a better look. Not point in hiding in those damn shadows,” wheezed Tirek. He broke down into a coughing fit. The painful constrictions on his throat made him lurch forward. This rattled the chains around his neck and legs. The rattling echoed through the empty chamber. He shifted himself to better locate the steps despite the heavy weight of the chains. He placed his weary and wrinkled hand on the bar of the cage. His eyes strained forward again. “Show yourself.” Tirek tried to sound intimidating. It failed miserably. At one time, he could make mortal shake with fear at the power of his voice. Now he sounded like an old man struggling to hold onto the barest glimmer of a pathetic life. The analogy wasn’t far off.
“Even now you haven’t changed. That would be endearing, were it any centaur but you,” said a voice. Tirek quirked an eyebrow. He recognised that voice. He couldn’t forget it, even after so long.
A rough yet slightly refined tone. A softer edge betraying a larger form. It could only belong to one. The figure stepped forward. The shadows shifted as if letting him pass. The green light reflected his large outline poorly, but it was unquestionable to whom the unique shape belonged to. But the casting shadows could not hide the bulky yet very tall form of the bipedal creature and his lengthy brown muzzle and the wide predatory eyes. The long claws that nearly touched the creature’s knees. The thin yet long tail that flicked occasionally behind him. There could be no doubt.
“Brother?”
“It is good to see that your prison has not entirely impaired your memory. Saves me explaining,” he said in a flat yet gruff voice. He crossed his arms. “I am pleased to see you again brother.”
Tirek’s chest swelled with something. It wasn’t pain or the vapid air of Tartarus. It was filled with emotion. Well, one emotion anyway. Hatred. Pure black unadulterated hatred of the highest order. In spite of the burdensome chains, he began to tremble violently. The sound they made as they screeched against the cage floor was most unbearable. Not that Tirek cared. All he could focus on, was what he had once called brother and the loathing he bore him.
“Get out,” he spat as loud as he could. Though it sounded almost like a pained howl rather than a threat. A thick wad of dribble pouring out of his mouth like a wild animal. He didn’t even bother to clean it. Dignity was a luxury for him.
Scorpan didn’t move. He didn’t roar back. He didn’t laugh. All that happened, was that his arms fell to his sides once more. His face twisted into something showing pain or pity. There was not hatred in those eyes. Even if Tirek could not bear to bring himself to look his brother in the face. Instead Tirek covered himself with his claws. He pawed at the air miserably as if his brother was only an apparition that would just disappear with a harsh gust of wind.
“I am sorry you feel that way,” Scorpan said his voice low. It dripped with sincerity. Tirek would have none of it. He put down his claws. Dragging himself over to the bars he grasped them like crutch. His face contorted into the best snarl he could produce his throat gurgled as his brothers words hit him. Had he but an ounce more of strength he would have summoned himself to strike out but his vigour failed him. Words would suffice for now.
“Sorry?” he said the word, almost sarcastically. “Sorry!?” He pressed his face hard against the cold bars. The intensity of his words causing his spit to land a few inches from Scorpan’s clawed feet. “It is because of you that I am like this! Sorry doesn’t begin to make amends for what you have done!” The shout rounded the empty caverns, echoing every now and again hammering the point home.
“I stand by my actions in the past,” grunted Scorpan as he leaned on a black rock. His expression never changed from the calm neutrality that it had adopted. Obviously someone had matured in their roaming of the world. Tirek could see age behind those eyes but also a weariness. A weariness that hid the pain inside. They were sad eyes.
“Betrayal,” snarled Tirek. He rattled the cage. The effort was meaningless, that much he knew. The meaning though was lace with only hostility. Scorpan shook his head. He staggered over as if to think before straightening himself. He let some air pass between his lips before answering.
“No. It had nothing to do with betrayal. I thought what I was doing was right,” he coughed awkwardly. Perhaps it was shame. Maybe it was guilt. He couldn’t tell. It was the doubt behind his words that made it so. He tapped the rock with claw.
“What was right!? You sound like one of them now.” Tirek leaned especially close against the bars. His voice raspy but full of revulsion. He flicked his tongue out like a snake. “Weak and useless.” Scorpan scrapped the rock as he bit on his lip. Tirek could allow himself a faint smile. “Too emotional.” Tirek let the words simmer inside his brother’s mind. The pause between his words became longer as he dragged the words out across his dry lips. “Too equine.” With this burst into a fully-fledged grin as his brother tossed and turned. The conflicting emotions within struggling for control. Tirek finished with a soft whisper. “Weeeeak.”
“I am not weak!” roared Scorpan as he approached the cage his wings flared. His left arm shook violently. His face was strained beyond belief. Heavy breaths could be seen in the air. Tirek fell back, the chains landing on his chest. Even though winded, he quickly managed cackle. His voice broke though as he did so.
“All too easy. Careful now you’ll bring the dog here,” he wheezed pitifully if not without a hint of smugness. The petty victory over his brother brought him the mildest degree of satisfaction. Scorpan sunk to his knees. He let his head fall into his claws. His eyes dilated and unfocused. His body shook with his breathing. He muttered something unintelligible to himself. A calming reassurance no doubt. Eventually he began to rise from the floor. He straightened himself but left one claw on his face, which massaged his temples.
“I did not come here to fight. No. Not with you Tirek.”
“It is heartening to see a slimmer of the brother I once knew resides in that worthless shell.”
“Says the man locked in the cage,” chuckled Scorpan. The laugh was out of place. Tirek could only assume that it was at his expense. But it seemed more private. Some inside joke that his brother kept to himself. For those dark days. It did little to ease Tirek’s scorn. How could such a loathsome creature be his relation? What twisted purpose had related him to everything he despised?
“Then what do you come for! To gawk? Have I not fallen enough without you gloating over me?”
“I would never gloat over you.” His expression went dour. “Do you not think that perhaps it was a trifle hard for me to watch you fall? After all the times we stood together.” Scorpan offered out his claw. Laying out each finger flat. A gesture on his part. His other claw was put near his chest against his ribs. Tirek was unmoved.
“Those times are meaningless now.” Tirek took in with delight the crestfallen face of his brother. Yet within his own being there was a small, very small, but niggling part of him that choked on his words and turned them to ash in his mouth. A pang of insignificant regret. It was far outweighed by his desire to strike out at his brother in any way he could. “As are you feelings of guilt. What is done is done.”
The finality of the sentence crippled the conversation. Both of them languidly sat and stood in silence. Tirek more than content to wait out to his brother sounded him out again. Scorpan, to his credit, did not react openly to these barbs but the subtle anguish was there. He knew that his brother would be difficult. He always had been. But it was hard to imagine that so many years could pass and yet only his cruelty grew.
“It was mistake coming here,” whispered Scorpan. The rumble of his deep voice rolled of the spikes and only served to amplify what should have been a private word to himself. Tirek instantly took advantage of it.
“It was. Go back to your pony-loving ways and leave me to my damnation in peace,” he snapped. He clicked his fingers to emphasise his point. Scorpan crinkled his muzzle as if he just smelled something offensive.
“I had hoped you had changed,” sighed Scorpan.
“What, like you?” mocked Tirek.
“Perhaps.” Tirek flashed his fangs menacingly.
“And what, kiss the hooves beneath Celestia like some common peasant?” His words dripped with a violently sarcastic edge. Tirek tried to bow. It came off poorly as the chains prevented him from completing it. The half bow got its point across though. Tirek there out a hand. “So that I may better appreciate the ‘culture’ of those inept fools.” Tirek pointed directly at Scorpan. “Has the yellow sun addled your brain? Or perhaps you have eaten upon the insane root like a clueless traveller?” He attempted to throw his head back in laughter. It died in his throat.
“Those ‘fools’ are the reason that you are in this prison, brother,” retorted Scorpan. He shifted to his left side. His discomfort was growing by the minute.
“Luck and tricks,” was all Tirek could cough out. “I should have won. I should have.” Tirek’s eyes were distant. His fantasies began to take hold. His grip fell from the bars. His jaw clicked as he moved it.
“But you did not.” The fantasy was broken. Tirek returned to his inconsequential existence. Dreaming was never pleasant for him anyway.
“It was my right!” croaked Tirek. “It was mine!” Tirek shook the chains violently. Scorpan gaze fell despondent. It was if each word his brother spoke was another blow.
“Granted by whom?”
“I am the strongest!” he snarled. He pounded his fist against his weakened chest. His mouth chewed on the very air. With his other hand he grasped at nothing flailing it as far as his chains would allow him. “I deserve it all. All the power. All the magic. The world was mine.” Tirek heaved. He had somehow managed to work up a sweat in his fit. The tiny bead lines ran down his forehead as his eyes darted back and forth. Scorpan wasn’t even sure that his brother knew he was here anymore. A madness had taken him briefly. Only then could Scorpan see what his brother truly was. Inside he broken.
“So power over others makes you strong?” he said evenly. The words he spoke disgusted him. It wounded him even more knowing that once he felt the exact same way. The temptation to give in was growing. Scorpan only now realised that he was leaning heavily against the rock formation like an aged man. He certainly felt it. His mind tired and annoyed, told him that words were almost meaningless now. But for everything that he now knew some force told him to push further. The futile voice of hope.
“Yes, what else is truly there?” Tirek replied nonchalantly as if it were common knowledge.
“You have never truly asked yourself why you failed, have you?” Scorpan felt renewed. A final assault against the barriers. He threw his body up and got closer. Tirek matched it by moving back. “Why you couldn’t win so long ago and why you still cannot win now.” Tirek sputtered, whispering nothings to invisible spectres. Unable to even think logically about his brothers questions. His blood boiled even when it was so called. Was it some kind of fever? Maybe he had gone mad after all. “With all of your self-proclaimed strength you still failed. You had everything and still you fell. Why?” His brother put a claw on the cage leaning his weight against it. His eyes searched for Tirek’s own elusive ones.
“Treachery and tricks,” he whispered as if his voice would vanish in a moment. His hands quivered. “They did something. You-The princesses. The purple one cheated.” The last words were almost pleading in tone like a child being cheated in a game.
“No she did not. She only showed you the truth.” Scorpan gave his brother a sympathetic gaze. Tirek was crowded against the back of the cage. He bent his knees like he was addressing a child. It wasn’t condescending but more of a gentle encouragement. He put his second claw against the cage.
“The unlimited power of what is good in this world.” It was Scorpan’s turn to let the words settle. Tirek gave him a hateful glance as he had just spoken gibberish. Scorpan persisted. “Those mortals are stronger than all the magic you can absorb Tirek. You can escape a thousand times and they will still put you back in here. Because they will always win and you will always lose. They have something that you cannot possibly understand.”
Scorpan smiled. It was an ugly smile but a smile nonetheless. “Friendship they call it. It is quite the marvellous thing actual. You’d be surprised what it can do and what you can accomplish with it.” A wistful look overtook Scorpan’s face before he refocused back on his cowering brother. “That is the true power behind your defeat. Because the connections that this friendship creates makes bonds that no amount of our powers can overwhelm.” Scorpan sighed. His brother remained unmoved. Still like some wicked spider clutched to a dusty corner.
“‘Friendship’. Utter nonsense,” hissed Tirek. He cackled under his breath. “What is friendship but a joke? A worthless waste of time and effort to make meaningless bonds with beings far below you. The stringent burden of wearisome attachment to a scarecrow on a stick.” Tirek stalked the edge of the centre of the cage, his chains lagging behind him, His eyes burned with incredulous fury. “The temporary fleeting emotion of a lonesome heart brought upon the monotonous boring drum of life. Like child’s toys to distract one from learning the worthlessness of all life. That is what ‘friendship’ is. A mask. A lie. All lies.” Tirek walked away again. He waved his hand dismissively. “I will not hear. I will not. Not from you. Get out.” Tirek slumped to the floor falling to his side facing away from his brother. His weak words still carried through. “Get out. Leave.”
Scorpano leaned his head against the bars. He swung slightly on them. A rocking, calming motion. This disappointment evident on his face was tangible.
“I had hoped that this latest humbling had perhaps rattled some sense through that thick skull of yours,” he said, his voice as soft as it could be. He then shot a piercing gaze at his brother. “But I was clearly mistaken. You are still as stubborn as when I left you all those years ago.”
“Why did you come? Why?” barked Tirek as twisted and turned eventually content to slightly face away from Scorpan while still being able to see him with the corner of his eye. His voice was still filled with anger and contempt but the undoubted unsure tone was noticeable like a child unsure whether to be mad or confused.
“Because you’re my brother.” A deathly silence fell over both of them. It carried for a minute or two though it could have been hours. There was no sense of time or space in this place. “And I miss you.”
Tirek did not respond. He just sat there thinking. He wished he could have lashed out. Maybe even laugh scornfully at his brother’s utter emotionalism. He could have heaped on about how this only confirmed that his brother was as weak and worthless as he said he was. But he did not. It was like a curse had been place upon him. A curse in which all of his words dissolved into nothingness as soon as they hit the air. The rumblings of deep seated emotions. He tried to dismiss the sentimentality. Scorpan pressed on, once he realised his brother would not respond.
“I had hoped that you had changed. I hoped you could be my brother again.” Scorpan moved back from the cage slowly. His tone never changed as he closed his eyes. “But I was wrong. You are still the angry, petulant child that I knew so long ago.” A look of disgust passed over his face. “But now you have become bitter and old.” Scorpan’s tone grew bitter and grisly as if he was holding back a harsher insult. “Old and alone. Is that anyway to live Tirek? Counting your days till the end of time. Grasping at the straws of what was once yours. Old and alone. That is all you are.” The moment passed and Scorpan looked guiltily at his claws. He could only shake his head.
“Leave me be,” whispered Tirek. He turned away from his brother and rested his head on the floor “Leave me. Depart. Go. Return to precious mortals. Do not come back. You are no brother of mine.” He repeated the phrases like a chant. He seemed to do it more for his own benefit than anything else. Tirek could hear the turning of footsteps as he presumed his brother turned away.
“Yet when I look upon you, I feel no hate.” There was a pause as his brother thought for a moment. “I feel pity. I feel loss. I feel alone too.” Scorpan’s voice grew fainter. “Because I have no brother. Because I have no equal. Because I miss you. And I will till then end of time. You may not see it but we are still flesh and blood and always will be. And for that reason alone I will never stop missing you or loving you or foolishly hoping that one day we can talk as brothers again.”
“Go.”
“I love you brother.”
Then there was silence. The steps were no more. He could not hear his brothers breath.Tirek had now returned to what measly thing he could call existence. His mind debated on whether what just happened was real or not. It was perhaps too surreal. Too true to be real. Why would he come back for such stupid reason? Then why wouldn’t he if he was sincere. Tirek did not know. Perhaps he had finally gone mad. The thoughts of eternal entrapment had finally driven him to insanity. Or maybe his brother did visit him in the vain hope that he had changed. He could not be sure. He could not be sure of a lot things. All that was left were the thumping sounds of the words his brother had spoken. Constantly echoing.
‘Old and alone.’
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- pepdog1 · 1.1k words · 38 1 · 975 views
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Tirek makes sense to prattle on about Might makes Right. I love how he was rambling on about how weak and illusory friendship is, how it's nothing compared to real power. For a moment it almost made sense...
... and then you remember who's in Tartarus and who's not.
4789578 You sir have just won. There is no other possible comment that could top your analysis of Tirek in this. I really wanted Tirek's view to make sense. Perhaps you could even relate to him.
But as you said it all comes down to who is free and who is a broken, disheveled and old mess.
4789612 Thank you! Also added this to the Lord Tirek group.
4789618 Cheers mate!
Holy hell that was epic. You sir are an amazing writer and this really shows how far The Mighty Tirek has fallen.
Wow. That was awesome!
This is awesome, prodund, deep and wise
Meh, the ponies don't win because of friendship, they win because their opposition insists on doing stupid things and faffing about for no reason rather than keeping a laser focus on a swift and efficient victory.
For instance, had Tirek demanded to drain Twilight's alicorn magic before releasing her friends, then snapped her powerless neck and killed the rest of the group anyway, he would have won.
Very nice emotional piece, though. I enjoyed reading it.
4817907 That is true, but I've read somewhere that Tirek deliberately didn't kill anyone because he wished to dominate over everyone. Or in reality he is a pg villain. Heh
But I see your point. Tirek's arragoance was as much responsible for his defeat as was his inability to contain the elements. Like I've said Tirek is still a petulant and angry child obsessed by power. Which is ultimately one of his greatest weaknesses.
4818155
The only exception I can think of is Sombra, who generally acted very efficient and did everything he could to go for the throat the moment he got an opportunity. Other than that, all the villains have indulged in pointless antics rather than sensibly go for the jugular, starting from when Nightmare Moon decided to create random forest obstacles for the Mane Six rather than use her god-like powers to smite them to ash as soon as they proved to know too much.
Still, you'd think with the stakes being ultimate power or else eternal damnation a centaur would be a bit more careful to dispose of lose ends and potential threats, but I guess not.
4818219 absolute power can warp your perception of things. Tirek thought he had won and thought no one could stop him. He was oblivious to anything else. The rest of the villains all follow the same pattern really.
I'd say Sombra sort of dallied though. He was very slow in dealing with his enemies. I dunno maybe it's just a personal opinion. He could have been the best villain the show had. He just wasn't developed enough to warrant it.
4818368
And then of course there's Tirek's treatment of the three helpless princesses. As an escapee from Tatarus himself, you'd think he'd know better.
General Grievous demonstrates the proper response to a room full of helpless enemies:
Magnificent work! What can I say?
...
Actually, a few things. Let´s see...
The narration style was simply beautiful. What a precious example of the description of emotions and movement. There are stories in which the narrator simply tries to tell a story, but this is beyond that, this is true art. I simply can´t get enough of it. The details, the emotion... everything was perfect.
Tirek´s character was good. I love the portrayal of him being evil but maintain some good within, so faint it can barely be appreciated. Scorpan was an excellent character as well. I actually choked a little when he said that he missed Tirek.
The plot advances steady and in a perfect pace. Calm and collected, nothing can be said to happen abruptly breaking the immersion of the story.
Now, there are a few spelling errors; you should give this a second looks sometime in the future. But still, what a perfect piece.
5954303 Thank you very much!
The Visitor is probably one of my favourite stories that I have written for this site despite that it wasn't as sucessful as I had hoped. Nonetheless, I feel that it is probably one of my better pieces that I absolutely adored writing at the time.
I had always thought that Tirek and Scorpan's relationship was more or less a dark mirror version of Celestia and Luna's, where in this case the younger sibling was in the right. Tirek himself, at least in my view, is so far gone with his own ambition that he can't see how far he has fallen. I still, as you say, think there is good in him but it is in itself far too weak to change him which is the real tragedy of the two's relationship.
I was suprised so few stories have taken on the relationship between them as I find it fascinating. I'll definately have a look over this in the future again. Thanks for the review, it's always fantastic to get feedback on some of my smaller works.
Edit: Cheers for the favourite as well!
I think you mean subjected.
A synonym of subjugated is enslaved.
That's still betrayal. It doesn't matter whether you did it for the right reasons, it's still betrayal. That said, I completely agree that Scorpan was right to betray his brother(so long as he never made any actual Oaths to help him, I have a thing about that), but call it what it is.
... I'm starting to think Tirek was right, Scorpan is an idiot. You want someone to change, you don't lock them up and leave them alone for over an millenia. You rehabilitate them. You need a therapist, treatment, psychologist, etc for that. Not just to isolate them from all contact. You do that if you want a raging lunatic or a rage-driven psychopath. In fact, I'm surprised that Tirek didn't just go mad. I think Sombra did go mad, Discord probably can't go mad, Nightmare Moon was already mad, Tirek didn't. He remained sane and driven for more than a thousand years. If anything, his confinement only burned away whatever compassion he had. But he was clearly still sane. Evil(or at least greedy), but sane.
In a word? Literally? Absolutely. I'm tired of seeing the same "true courage", "true strength", bullshit everywhere. You wanna say "team work makes the team work"? Fine. I support you completely. But when you start applying words like "strength" and "courage" to your morality? F**k you and your bullshit.*
*To those whom it might concern, I apologize for my swearing, it's been a rather cynical day.
Because he couldn't anticipate the next bullshit that the creators would throw in because he had no way of knowing about what was happening in the private lives of the Mane 6.
4789578 and then you think about how "the purple one" actually did cheat. Then you deiced that there' s no dishonor in cheating when the good guys do it and move on. Seriously, the Mane 6 could get away with anything. They have previously preformed mind rape, and no one was mad.
6138362
Cheat? Please explain to me how she cheated. I wasn't aware they'd set down ground rules for Tirek's conquest of Equestria.
... wat. How can you even... the mental magic performed by them cannot even REMOTELY be equated to rape. For you to even consider that is just ludicrous and undermines how utterly horrible rape is. Did those people they'd 'mind raped' act like they'd been raped?
Also, this one other thing.
I don't see why. If Scorpan made an oath to help Tirek take over Equestria, rip out the souls (I know, magic, but hyperbole is fun) of the ponies, then why would it suddenly be Scorpan in the wrong to realize 'Hey, maybe we shouldn't be tyrannical invaders to this peaceful nation who's done nothing to us? Bro? ... bro?'.
6138375 I never said I had anything against cheating, but the basic concept of fair play are generally that you don't involve god-trees. Secondly, if you don't like the Oaths you've made, you shouldn't have been stupid enough to say "I swear to help you drain the magic out of the peaceful country over there" And lastly, Twilight and Fluttershy have both violated the Free Will of others, taken away their right to chose for themselves. It is literally the worst crime imaginable, worse than rape, worse than murder, worse than anything. Twilight is worse than Fluttershy(she damned two entire species to slow death by starvation because she was afraid of disappointing the Princess and her friend was too stubborn to try another way), and she violated the free will of her entire town with her "want it, need it" spell. Fluttershy isn't as bad. She just sends waves of psychic terror through another's mind until they conform to her will, or somehow hacks into their nerves and forces their bodies to submit without their mind's consent(which could definitely result in "And I Must Scream"). Which is bad, but not as bad as mind control.
...I actually CRIED!!! THIS IS SOOOO PERFECT!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Wow.
I wasn't expecting that to be so deep.
I love it!
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To Whom.