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Prologue: Equestrian Antics2,810 words
Chapter 1: Home, Sweet H- Wait, Who Are You?3,563 words
Chapter 2: Trust Me, I'm Rich2,031 words
Chapter 3: Don't Hug Me You're Naked2,075 words
Chapter 4: Who Says Girls Can't Hate Shopping Too?2,727 words
Chapter 5: Run, Rainbow, Run!2,347 words
Chapter 6: The Sun Shines Bright But The Rain Pours On2,368 words
Chapter 7: Rainbows Bloom When The Storm Is Gone1,488 words
Chapter 8: Keep Calm And Carry On With Saving The Day3,661 words
Chapter 9: Wake Up And Smell The Antiseptic2,121 words
Chapter 10: As It Begins, So It Ends1,238 words

Chapter 4: Who Says Girls Can't Hate Shopping Too?

Chapter 4: Who Says Girls Can't Hate Shopping Too?

Girls love shopping right? It's the bane of man, but the heaven of woman. Or so I've heard. In the end, I'm just an emotionless aristocrat. I had no idea how to comfort Rainbow Dash over the loss of her wings. I know how it feels to take to the skies. Wings gave me the freedom that I yearned for in my human life. Soaring through the sky, unbound from gravity, it's like meeting a first love. The first time you take to the skies will always have a special spot in your heart. For me, it had been a fleeting dream, and now I was back on the ground. But that dream had been brutally ripped away from Rainbow Dash. A dream she had lived through her entire life.

I wanted to make her feel better. It was my fault that she was here. My selfish request had plucked her out of her world and dropped her in an entirely different dimension. How could I do that to someone, when I too knew how out of place one felt away from home? There was so much more inside me than simple chivalry or pride. This was a matter of personal honor. She had given the sky to me, and yet I heartlessly stole that very sky from her. And now I had to make things right.

But I could think of no words to comfort her. I could think of nothing that could replace her dream. Flying, to her, was probably an irreplacable joy. She was the fastest flyer in Ponyville, and maybe all of Equestria, after all. What exploits could she brag about now? How could she awe others with her legendary Sonic Rainboom now? There had to be something I could do, right?

And so, being the stupid idiot that I am, I decided to take her shopping. The mall was a ten minute walk from my home, but it took quite a while longer since I had never been there. I made Rainbow Dash put on her hood for the first few blocks, but I soon realized that we were being followed by a police car, hanging back, but watching our every movement. I hastily took off her hood, spinning her around to face the police car. I smiled and waved, and told Rainbow Dash to do the same. After that, I made sure that we looked less shady whenever we were out and about.

But it seemed that I had traded one trouble for another, since as soon as I took off her head, I realized that we were now attracting the attention of every single other person. As I sped up my walking speed, I could still feel their eyes following Rainbow Dash. For some reason, I suddenly felt very irritated. Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, was loving the attention. She took big, flashy steps that made her hair swing back and forth. Scowling, I dragged her along.

My jaw dropped as the shopping center came into focus. Massive buildings towered over a central plaza were hundreds of people were walking around, sitting on benches, and playing in the fountain. I had never seen so many people in one place before, and neither had Dash, probably. I felt beads of sweat begin forming on my brow. I hated this place already. Rainbow Dash was eyeing the other people in the plaza suspisciously, walking in a sneaking fashion. I quickly herded her towards the clothing department to avoid the stares of the other people.

"Do they not have anything...cooler looking than this?" Rainbow Dash examined a pink dress with disgust. I sighed. This wasn't going to be easy. We had made our way through about half of the entire clothing store, but she hadn't found a single thing that she liked. After all, the only things that they had for girls were dresses and the like. She wasn't the only one that was disgusted. I wanted to go home too. Here I was, surrounded by females, all of them glaring at me. Was it wrong for me to be accompanying a girl? Or were they simply infuriated because I was intruding upon their sacred sanctuary? Either way, their stares bore into me even- no, especially when I had my back turned.

I was seriously about to give up hope. Even the store assistants were getting fed up with Rainbow Dash's foul mouth and her fashion sense. She refused to wear anything that looked remotely "uncool", which, translated into English, meant that anything even slightly girly. Completely worn-out and exhausted from placing everything that she threw on the ground back on its proper shelf, I turned around to ask Rainbow Dash whether she wanted to try another store. But she wasn't listening. Her eyes were staring at something in the distance. When I waved my hand in front of her face, she pushed it out of the way.

"Earth to Rainbow Dash. Earth to Rainbow Dash. Do you copy?" I spoke directly into her ear, earning me an annoyed scowl. Curious as to what had caught her attention, I looked in the direction she had been looking. No wonder. Right next to the clothing department was a sporting goods store. It was filled with all kinds of fitness apparel, designed for function rather than fashion. And Dash loved it. I, on the other hand, was dismayed. Sporting goods stores tend to be insanely expensive compared to normal clothes. I only had some meager allowance given to me buy my generous benefactors: my previous parents. Dreading what was to come, I let myself be dragged by Rainbow Dash over to that black hole of time and money.

"This. Is. Just. So. AWESOME!" Rainbow Dash walked around the store, squealing with excitement. I grimaced. Grin and bear it. You brought this upon yourself. You gotta deal with her until you fix her wings. Even so, grinning and bearing it wasn't going to make more money come out of thin air.

"Um, listen, Dash, I've only got so much money, so-" I wasn't sure how to tell her about my economic deficiencies.

"Isn't this shirt just....just....so...COOL?!" She shoved a sky-blue t-shirt in my face. It was made out of a permeable fabric, and had a yellow lightning bolt running down the middle. Price tag? $29.99.

Stores really are evil. They try all kinds of tricks and traps to get you to buy more stuff. When you see something as $29.99 rather than $30.00, if you really want it, you're gonna think of it as $20.00 rather than $30.00. It's an evil psychological trick that plays on the wishes of the human mind. And that's not even including tax. But that's for the government, so it's not exactly the store's fault.

"Alright, so, I only have enough money, to, um, buy you maybe a couple shirts and pants, I really don't have that much-"

"Okay whatever, here, hold this!" She tossed the shirt at me. "What do you think of this? Super awesome, right?" This time, she held up a pair of white shorts. They were meshed on the outside, with a rainbow stripe on each leg.

"Um, sure, it's really cool, but w-" My speech faltered as my gaze landed on something that flipped a switch in my mind. It hit me like a speeding bullet train. That was a terrible simile, I'm sorry. It hit me like a cold shower. I wanted to rip my face off and just die right there. Except I had already died once. I had just realized something that sent shudders of dread through my entire body. The whining of a light buzzing in my head amplified my disgust.

Underwear.

"Say, Dash..." I cursed the evil being that had shoved me into this situation. Then I realized that "that evil being" was me. Putting on my best poker face, I tried to betray no emotion as I discussed a rather delicate subject with her. "So besides those, I think we're going to, well, need to buy some, um, well, underwear..." My voice faded out towards the end, nearly whispering the word.

"Say wha?" Rainbow Dash stuck her ear in my face.

"Um, well, I think we're going to need to buy some, um, underwear..." I dramatically lowered the volume of my voice as I said the last word.

"Speak up will ya! I can't hear you if you keep mumbling like that." Rainbow Dash crossed her arms.

"I think that-"

"Still can't hear you!"

"I think-"

"Louder!"

"I-"

"Loude-"

"WE NEED UNDERWEAR!" I was almost screaming. My face burned. Everyone else in the store was staring at me with amused smiles. I wished there was some hole in the ground I could crawl into. At least Rainbow Dash heard me this time.

"You didn't have to yell, you know." Smirking, Rainbow Dash cocked her head to the side. "And anyways, what's underwear?"

I dropped to my knees. I give up. Letting myself fall to the floor, I let out a moan. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...

"You okay?" Rainbow Dash prodded me with her foot, clearly completely unconcerned.

"No." I grumbled as I picked myself up from the ground. Taking a deep breath, I took a step towards the intimate apparel section. My foot froze. Relax. One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. There you go. Now you've got it. One step after another. Just keep walking. And before I knew it, I was standing face-to-face with a sports bra. Or should I say...face-to-rack? As Rainbow Dash walked over, something seemed to click for her.

"Ohhhhh! I get it! This is for holding these things up when I walk and stuff, right?" She excitedly grabbed her chest with her hands.

Yes. Those things.

I tackled her, moving her arms away from that lewd position. Between breaths, I told her in my most serious voice: "Don't...you...ever...do...that...again."

She looked at me with questioning eyes.

"Ah, erm, well let's just lump that under the same category as being naked, shall we?" I chuckled nervously, hastily scrambling to my feet as people began to look our way. Rainbow Dash glanced at her chest one last time with a suspicious glare before relenting and getting to her feet.

And at the end of the day, what became of our ill-fated shopping endeavor? Well, after exhausting all of my funds, we ended up with: One SportTek Dri-Fit T-Shirt, One Pair of Badidas CoolMesh DuraFit Double-Sided Running Shorts, and well, a couple sports bras and underwear. I won't go into the details of those. At least Rainbow Dash seemed pretty happy about it. I let her keep my hoodie. It was getting a bit chilly out. Not quite Fall yet, but not full-out Summer either. She seemed to like it anyways.

At first, I thought I had solved the problem. She had been smiling and laughing as she picked out the clothes, and she had been extraordinarily energetic all throughout the walk back, but soon, her head began to droop. The spring in her step faded away. Her shoulders dropped slightly, and her eyes became distant once again. She would occasionally give a glance backwards. Her eyes reflected the golden glow of the setting sun. The way that her eyes caught the light almost made it seem like there were tears in her eyes. But that was impossible, right?

I didn't have the heart to teach her something so mundane as brushing her teeth, so I sent her directly to bed. As she trudged off to the guest room, I threw myself onto my own bed. My eyebrows furrowed as I scowled at my reflection in the window. Here I was, savior of Equestria, and yet I couldn't even do something as simple as making a girl happy.

My eyelids gradually became heavier, until I had no choice but to close my eyes. But I couldn't stop thinking about Rainbow Dash. I could only think one thing as I drifted off to dreamland. There has to be something I can do.

I blindly stumbled through a maze of green walls. Tripping on a root, I smashed into the ground. Coughing, I scrambled to my feet and continued running. As my hand brushed against one of the green walls, I realized that I was in some kind of hedge maze. But I couldn't stop running. Why was I running? I didn't know, but I couldn't stop. There was a feeling of dread in my mind, still fresh from some recent event. What was it? I couldn't remember. But I had to run. But no matter how far I ran, it seemed that I always ended up in the same place. I felt as if the hedge maze was a sentient creature, observing my every moment. It seemed to expand and contract as if breathing.

I felt a cold wind brush against my face. Thump. The wind became warm. The air began to smell of something sickeningly sweet. Thump. The ground shook. Thump. Thump. Those weren't my footsteps. Thump. Thump. Thump. I had to run. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. I couldn't run from it. Thump thump. Thump thump. I opened my mouth to scream, but no words came out. Thump thump thump thump thump thump thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump. My foot caught on something in the ground and I fell to the ground. I squeezed my eyes shut, mouth still screaming in silent terror. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Thump. Thump. I gasped, sitting straight up. Thump. Thump. My shoulders shook slightly as I returned to reality. Thump. Thump. My heart still beat with an unnatural intensity. Suddenly frustrated beyond belief, I punched my bed. Why were these memories coming back to me now? I should have left my old life behind. Even those terrifying memories of Equestria. I should have left everything behind. And yet Rainbow Dash was proof that some remnants had still managed to cling to me. I just wanted to destroy everything and start over. And yet it seemed that my every attempt was doomed to failure. I just wanted to live without rules and obligations, to be free from the chains of neccesity. And yet my very life seemed to deny me this freedom.

I couldn't fall asleep after a dream like that. Every time I closed my eyes, the terrifying maze came back to me. It surrounded me in my dream world, suffocating me as it slowly constricted. Shaking my head, I snapped my eyes open and slid out of bed. I opened my door slowly, and as silently as possible. Slipping out into the hallway, I smiled as I gazed down the hallway which had inspired so much fear when I was a child. Now, the silver beams of moonlight stealing in from the window gave me comfort. I looked out one of the windows that adorned the hallway. My eyes roamed across the street, staring at the row of impressively large houses belonging to my well-to-do neighbors.

And beyond those houses, beyond the limits of aristocracy, there was a vast field of grass, seemingly endless in any direction. I had once dreamed of going there, freed from my bonds. I had once dreamed of being free, of being unbound from the rules which had governed my entire life. In my daydreams, I imagined I flew across the field, running on my own two legs. My eyes widened as the corners of my mouth twitched. Soon, a massive smile had plastered itself on my face. I had my answer. There was something I could do.

I would teach Rainbow Dash to run.

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