Synch

by sunnypack

80 - Once in a Blue Moon

I’d like to say something about Internet-speak. Internet-speak is the blanket term that encompasses a variety of Internet-specific slang and terminology that littered the Internet back in the day. While some people tolerated it, and some hated it, the majority just ran with it. It came as a surprise that various authorities even started recognising some terminology that had infected the Internet from the age of texting stemming from the old keyboard cellular bricks.

Though most the shortening terminology, for example, ‘AFK’ and ‘1daful’ and ‘2d4’ and so on had been rendered obsolete due to predicative tech, we still used phrases like ‘lol’ and ‘brb’. Things changed and I didn’t know whether it was for better or worse. I just observed the Internet and its people growing organically.

Some language buffs and literary critics and household mothers decried the change, resisting it with every ounce of their prodigious strength. Committees formed, pressures and conservatives jumped on bandwagons and the result was a sort of censorship of ‘Internet-speak’ on all official sources and volumes. The rest of the Internet laughed at the change. You couldn’t police the Internet; it was akin to throwing measuring cups of water on a forest fire. You didn’t impact anything and you just got burnt for your troubles.

Eventually the hullabaloo died down and even the defacing of government websites responsible for the changes stopped. The act became a joke among the people and we subsided to the greater change that was the implementation of the extranet.

I guess what I’m saying is that change couldn’t be forced, especially on large disorganised groups of people. You can change a law but you cannot persuade a mob.

-----

Princess Celestia didn’t even twitch when she met Pseudo. I was pleasantly surprised that Celestia even gave a warm smile to the nervous little changeling princess. She greeted me with a nod of her head and I waved cheerily. The guards were glaring at me from the sides for my lack of decorum but I couldn’t care less.

“Luna, it is good to see you”, Celestia greeted her sister, wrapping a wing around her and nuzzling her.

I d’awwed a little but Luna shot me a glare that said: Tell no one!

I flicked a hand towards the guards but Luna just snorted.

Brr! This court was chillier than normal. I glanced at Celestia, she didn’t look like she minded the cold.

Ah yes, fur coats. That’s cheating I say! Cheating!

Celestia turned to me after having a quick, muted conversation with her sister.

“So I’ve heard tell you have plans on becoming a deity”, Celestia commented, giving me a bemused look.

I half pranced forward.

“Yes indeed!” I replied, and beckoned Pseudo to come forward. “And this is who will be helping me.”

Pseudo looked absolutely awed and horrified to be in the limelight.

“H-hi!” she squeaked before dashing behind me.

Aww, I wonder when she took such a liking to me?

I knelt down, making eye contact with Pseudo.

“Don’t worry, just relax and tell me your plan”, I consoled, giving her nose a little bop.

She relaxed and giggled when I did that, giving me a shy look.

“Okay”, she said drawing in a breath to steel herself. She stepped out of my shadow and looked at Celestia.

“I’m Ps-Pseudo” she peeped, giving a small bow. “Princess of the Blue Hive.”

Celestia smiled warmly at the small changeling princess.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, young Pseudo. I am Celestia of Equestria, Princess of the Sun”, she introduced, giving Pseudo a gentle nod of her head.

I looked at Luna from the corner of my eye as she headed out somewhere.

Where was she going? Wasn’t she supposed to be here for the meeting too? I thought to myself.

Pseudo gave a nervous squeal of thanks and retreated behind me again.

I gave vent to a frustrated breath.

“Pseudo”, I coaxed, waving my hands around spasmodically.

“What do you see?”

Pseudo looked at me as if I had a few screws loose.

“Uhh, someone crazy?”

“Try again.”

“Insane?”

“That’s right!” I said, pirouetting on the spot. “Someone who is crazy or insane doesn’t care what others think!”

Pseudo looked at me uncertainly.

“Wouldn’t that mean that others will look at you funny and judge?”

“But you don’t care.”

“That’s true, I guess.”

“Good girl, now act as if you don’t care and confidence will follow”, I ended, gesticulating at Celestia. Celestia sat on the side looking at the situation in amusement.

“You certainly have a way with words”, she commented drily, giving me a ‘d’aww’ look.

I flipped up my hands.

“Just… don’t tell anyone”, I said, folding my arms.

Celestia snorted.

“Heavens forbid ponies knowing you have a heart”, she retorted, trotting over, her mane whipped to the side.

I smiled wryly at her and pointed to the left side of my chest.

“I have a heart, it’s just slightly off centre.”

My gaze turned serious as I pondered my next question.

“So, I’d like to know exactly why I’ve been called back.” I saw Celestia’s eyes slide away and I felt a cold chill run down my spine.

This will not end well.

“Okay, so does this have something to do with Pseudo’s plan?”

Celestia nodded, pawing the ground with her hoof.

Oh, I’m not going to like this.

“Perhaps you’d like to explain? Or should I actually hear it from Pseudo?”

Celestia nodded and I waited with no answer forthcoming.

“So is that a ‘yes’ I want to explain or a ‘yes’ let’s get Pseudo to explain?”

Before Celestia could answer, Pseudo piped up.

“Uhm, I can explain it, after all that’s partly the reason why I’m here”, she mumbled, giving me a doe-eyed look.

Aww, dang it Pseudo you’re killing me!

“Alright, let’s hear it from you, does this have to be somewhere private?” My voice automatically dropped to a whisper. Celestia shook her head.

“Everypony here can be trusted”, she replied with a confidence I did not exactly feel.

Pseudo cleared her throat.

“Okay, uhm, where to start?” she squeaked, wings fluttering nervously. I recognised the same motion from Celestia. Oh, it’s a nervous trait.

“Alicorn ascension is one of the first providences of power- “ I nodded at this and gave a wary look at the guards scattered around “ -it is a form of bestowing. Other ways include magical creation or parasitism- ” she shuddered at the last one “ -but there is one little known one that can be utilised.”

I rolled my eyes when Pseudo paused for dramatic effect again.

“Temporary transferral or more precisely consecration of title”, she finished. “Somepony gives you a title and they can exercise the power in your stead.”

Celestia nodded. Apparently she had already known this.

“Wait a minute, you already knew this but why didn’t you tell me?” I spluttered, shooting Celestia a glare.

“Well it hadn’t come up”, she replied sheepishly, her gaze hardened as her tone dipped low in warning. “Chronus is not a pony to take lightly, either.”

I sighed. When did things get so complicated?

“Alright, so how does Pseudo fit into all of this?”

Pseudo raised a hoof like she was in kindergarten. Aww man she is just too dang adorable.

“Uhm, I think it’s because Gruff said I can help with the consecration.”

Celestia nodded.

“Wait, so I get the title of… what exactly?”

“Princess of the Blue Hive”, Pseudo replied, then blushed. “Actually, I should say ‘Prince’.”

“But don’t you have duties to your hive, people to take care of?”

Pseudo looked at me sadly.

“My mother is getting old… too old. I was born late, after most of the drones had died off, with the remaining were sterile”, her eyes were filled with pain.

“My mother only has a few days left and she told me to seek help from the ponies, they were the last things we wanted to meet but… we’re desperate. We need help!”

I turned away from Pseudo’s eyes.

“So why help me? Shouldn’t you ask Celestia for help, directly?”

“M-my mother told me that helping a pony or someone with the ponies would give me a chance to plead my case.” She turned her eyes to the ground.

“Also the null problem affects us too, changelings can’t live without emotion magic.”

Celestia looked at Pseudo sympathetically.

“This is a dangerous endeavour, young one. Are you sure you are up to the task?”

Pseudo surprisingly held eye contact with Celestia as she gave her answer.

“Yes. This is something I must do.”

In her blue eyes burned a fierce blue flame of courage.

“If I don’t, it will mean the extinction of my hive.”

Author's Note:

Ah poor Pseudo.

I'm not dead!

NB: Sorry for the lack of updates recently, you can probably take a look at the earlier chapters where I've done a bit of renovating. You might find it nostalgic, yet refreshing. Also I've noticed a lot of spelling and grammatical mistakes now that I got back to my earlier chapters. I really want to comb through them but I have less and less time to do things the way I want them. You'll probably have to wait for the holidays for that to happen!

Next Chapter: Twilight get's a real beard to imitate her hero, Star Swirl the Bearded! Pinkie gets clown makeup to imitate her hero! Luna accidentally gets a sun tattoo and regrets it for the rest of her long immortal life. Good thing there may be laser treatments in the future.

As always, my scrumptious readers, thanks for reading!

Comments

[sunnypack]

4960483 A friend has told me there's a small town in Australia called 'Grong Grong', it literally means 'a bad place to camp'. Think about the people living there!

[PiMan]

4961359
Northern Territory, Western Australia, Australian Capital Territory, South Australia, Nullarbor, just to name a few.
We do like our literal place names.