Drifting Through Realities

by Thadius0

Chapter 1 - Just passing thr- who and what are you?!

Drifting Through Realities

Chapter 1 - Just passing thr- who and what are you?!

It's official, I'm done with gods.

Strike that, I'm done with deities in general.

Every last one I've dealt with has either been fascinated by my condition and sought to replicate it, is incapable of curing it, or simply strings me along and then tells me 'thanks for the help, but I can't do anything.' Except for the last one on my list, that guy is at least not a dick. Not sure if he's helpful, but at least he ain't a dick and answers questions honestly.

Unlike the magi I've encountered! They either think I'm insane or mistrust me, which leads to this great mistrust cycle that ends with their charged lightning bolts in their hands while my sword is resting, quite calmly, on their necks.

Forces greater than man this, powers you cannot hope to comprehend at my beck and call that. Funny how little I hear that when they realize that yes, they can't touch my sword and yes, it could actually hurt them. Then they enter into the bargaining stage and that's always fun. I always ask for the same thing, for them to go away and forget they ever heard about me. Half the time, I get it. The other half of the time, they only pretend to give it to me and come back with backup.

Like this asshole, Xandalar the Red. He'd gone and gotten a party to back him up after our little encounter a week ago and brought them to my home. Maybe he thought that with a priestess, a ranger, and a fighter, he'd be able to pin me down and 'cure' my 'affliction'. Buddy, if it could be cured that easily, I'd have stopped a long time ago. Mr. Fantastic was a cool guy to hang out with. Said something about my not being the first he'd met, but he did say my particular situation was unique and was able to do cool things with my tag-alongs. Just before I was forced into Drifting away from that reality, he taught me what he could about them, which helps, a bit, when I enter new worlds. Especially ones with skilled craftsmen.

Right, getting side-tracked. Sorcerer wants to study me, brought friends. I grab my sword-hilt and think for a moment. Would it be better to stand and fight or-

A familiar feeling at the back of my skull alerts me to what's now an option. Interesting! So I could either force a Drift now, flee from my hideout and look for a more...open area, or stand and fight.

Hmm. I choose...fight to distract, then bravely run away. Sir Robin may have been a coward, but at least he didn't fight in the face of overwhelming odds when he knew he wasn't going to win. I hear Xandalar's voice as the foursome draw closer to the cave I'd made my home.

"Eric! Eric, come out of there! We just want to help!"

I snort and think up a suitably sarcastic reply. "Really? Cause I don't count being held against my will and being experimented on very helpful! And you're hardly the first, y'know! Or did you not believe me when I told you that I'm not of this plane?"

"Oh come now," a woman's voice chips in, and I place her as the priestess he'd dragged along, "Do you really expect us to believe that you've walked between planes? You don't even know any magic, or so Xandalar says you've said."

"True, ma'am," I reply as I draw my sword-hilt from under my hoodie, one of the few things to survive Drifts with me, "But frankly, I don't need to know magic to know that it's not the only option to end up going from one plane to another. Just like water's not the only way to end up wet. You could also be bathed in acid."

There's silence for a moment while they contemplate those words, and then Xandalar speaks up again. "If what you say is true, then we could try to study your abilities, perhaps find a way to block them, so that you can settle down, make a life, not end up bounced around like a child's ball anymore."

I sigh at that. "Xandy, listen. I've been bounced around more times than I care to count anymore. I lost track of how long its been. Every scientist, wizard, sorcerer, priest, general wielder of magic and their deity has had a go at my abilities. None of them can stop it, and frankly, I don't trust them anymore. I distrusted you when you said you were 'a mighty sorcerer' when we met, which is why I was so hesitant to even talk to you! And when you wormed the truth out of me and I asked you to leave when you were at my mercy, what did you do? The one thing I asked you not to do!"

They were shocked into silence at that, and I continued. "Still. At least you don't think I'm crazy anymore. And hey, if you all want to look, I'll let you. I think it's time I left anyways. Pissed off one too many nobles here by telling them how my world's nobles ended up."

With that, I walked further back into the cave, into a nice, wide chamber. Nothing but air around me, really, save for the dirt under my feet. It's partially why I stuck around here. I needed shelter one night, and I realized this would be a perfect departure point. Figured I could just hide here after I pissed off Lord Clearwater the seventh at a high-society function. I'd recommended some small changes in tax code to the king, one King Uthor (yes, I know, I did a double-take as well), pondered wistfully about how a ruling class is not only built upon the backs of the commoners, but must also serve them, lest they overthrow a hated king, and-

...Well, I generally guided him based on what I could remember of chivalry and honor and said codes thereof. Along with what home thought of as 'common sense' these days. Uthor loved it so much that he invited me to a ball, and half the nobles shook my hand, which was a strange feeling. The other half sneered at me and asked me what I could possibly know about such things, which was familiar. It was when Clearwater got to me by insulting my breeding stock, aka my mother and father, that I really went off on him.

Bottom line, I wasn't in any real danger, but I thought it better to vacate the city. For my health. And other personal reasons, like remaining a person. Which was when I found my cave!

The party Xandalar had pulled together appeared at the entrance to the cave and looked in, squinting, probably. It took them a minute to walk down to the chamber I was in, and I heard them start to approach when I held a hand out in their direction. "No, don't. If you get too close, parts of you will be cut off. For safety's sake, don't stand within five feet of me."

I crouched low to the ground and focused on that sensation I'd felt at the back of my head. It spread down my spine, then hit my gut, which started to roil. I was suddenly glad I'd not eaten much today. I was expecting my next Drift to come in soon, but not today. Odd.

That was when I heard the priestess begin to intone something. "Pelor, I call on thee to lend me thine aid..."

Oh SHIT. Pelor and I weren't on good terms, and it wasn't...quite my fault? Maybe? I mean, after all, I merely kept jumping from one world to another that had followers of his. It was hardly my fault that they called on him for an archangel, and that he sent one, and that said archangel kept using highly predictable moves, right? Or that my sword could do some serious harm to them, right? He was the one that kept up the grudge!

In a flash of what can only be termed as Light Incarnate, a winged form appeared between me and the priestess. The archangel stood up from its kneeling position and looked at mine. "Ah, The Drifting One. We meet again."

"I'm sorry, do I know you?"

"Yes, though last time I didn't get a chance to introduce myself. I am Shining Mercy, and I met you some time ago. I believe it was a temple?"

"Oh yes, that. You'll have to forgive me, memory tends to be a bit rusty. There's been so many people and things trying to detain me across the realities I tend to lose track. Wasn't it after we dealt with the vampires that you turned to me, called me accursed, and tried to run me through?"

"Yes, and you returned the favor. I don't suppose you still have that blade on you?"

I smiled at this and powered up Origin with a thought. "Wouldya look at that, I do."

The blade appeared on the hilt. The materials used to make it had been crystal-blue, but because of the properties of the sword, it always appeared blacker than night itself. It was a good three feet long, and the archangel shivered, actually shivered, at the sight of my long sword.

"I see. And why would a servant of my lord call for me?"

I sighed and waved a hand at the ones not believing that I could have a casual chat with the archangel they'd summoned. "Well, they're trying to detain me because they want to either study my affliction or cure it. Which, quite frankly, if all the gods I'd met can't do, and all the magic and science I've had used on me can't explain, then put simply, I've no hopes for them, either."

The archangel actually nodded at me! What the hell, is this opposite day? Deities, their servants, and I...we don't get along, that doesn't happen! "A fair point. Are you in the middle of invoking your curse?"

I took quick stock - stomach more upset than it normally has been, feels like my hair is standing on end, I've got more goosebumps than usual, and there's a certain energy built up in the air. "Yup. Less than a minute now."

"Then I wish you well in your new world."

And that was when Xandalar shot me with a bolt of force. As I fell back, the world went white around me...

-----
(Equestria - Canterlot - 7:37 P.M. The residence of one Vinyl Scratch and Octavia Philharmonica)

"I'm tellin' ya, 'tavi, you gotta try this new pizza! I'm not sure what they put in it this time, but it's awesome!"

Octavia sniffed and returned to her dinner. "No thank you, Vinyl. I believe I will stick with my salad. Unlike you, I have a figure to maintain."

"Hey!" The unicorn got off the sofa and walked over to the dining room where her house-mate was enjoying a leafy green dinner. "Are you sayin' I'm fat?"

Octavia actually smiled as she considered her next words. "Heavens no, Vinyl. Your flanks do that for me."

Vinyl blinked a few times, then laughed as the insult computed and looked at herself. "Yeah, alright, maybe I could stand to do a little more dancing, and a little less spinning in the clubs."

Octavia sipped on her lemonade and smiled at having won this round.

And that was when their world went topsy-turvy.

From the living room, there was a flash of white that was brighter than the sun. After the two mares blinked away the spots in their eyes, they rushed into the other room, to see a spectacle they'd not expected to see in a hundred years.

Everypony knew the rumors, of course. Everypony had heard about the human Jumpers in Ponyville. Three males, one female. This one would appear to be another male.

Approximately six feet tall, or less. Wearing clothing all over its body, brown, blue, and its shoes were white. The hair was black, and it appeared to be far younger than the other male humans. Unconscious, at the moment. But that's not what got their attention.

The eye-grabber was the fact that he'd appeared with at least a hundred small, blue crystals with eight facets. They almost looked like dice, and they were in a circle around him about five feet wide.

Vinyl looked the scene over and said one thing. "Aw, my pizza!"

And that was when the human woke up. It looked over to the mares, its eyes widened, and he started screaming.

"AAAAAAAAAH! What the bloody hell are-"

And that was when Octavia, responding to his screaming instinctively, punched him in the jaw, sending him back to the floor. As he fell, she realized what she did, and rubbed at her face with the same hoof.

"This is going to be a nightmare and a half..."

Vinyl turned to her housemate and smiled. "So...can we keep him?"

Author's Note:

What is with me and these types of stories.

I think I need help.

Comments

[TSLsmokey]

Each time you come up with one of these stories it usually leaves me laughing within the first chapter, the writing is usually pretty good and it always has an interesting premise. Great work again! I'd give you some freaky alien lemons but I used them all when I had my minions crash a battleship into a giant alien hive.

[Moongaze14]

Interesting story.

[TSLsmokey]

4764299 PIT!

[TSLsmokey]

4764531 PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

[TSLsmokey]

4764692 Ooh do I spy with my little eye the three sacred treasures?

[TSLsmokey]

4764782 Probably a good thing. chapter 23 first run/sacred treasures run... that was one of the worst stages in the game... scratch that it was the worst stage in the game.

[Jarimor]

great new story.

[The Serpent Mage]

Oh man, this made me laugh so hard. Shows up, screams, dropped like a bitch.

What is with me and these types of stories.

I think I need help.

Yes, you do...

...help with more ideas!

[Alef0]

[youtube=http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=l8IkbCeZ9to]

Love Monty python references.

edit: Apperently the comment feature works funny on my tablet. Someone wanna post the video?

[tylerlego623]

More thadius, woot.

[ArcaneVisions]

I enjoy it, just wished he wasn't in the same universe as the other jumpers.

[ThEvErYdErPyBrOnY]

4768353 same here

[Allstar13521]

4768353 Sure

Sorry if it wasn't the right one but your link wasn't working for me

[Luna-tic]

4825953 Yay another luna fan!

[Ninjagobrony]

4978298 I'm one too! HAIL THE LUNAR EMPIRE!

[mastermenthe]

I approve this story.

[Techogre]

I'm a little late to the party, but I totally approve of this story!

Your Alex portrayal is spot on, and I would say your Matt is excellent!

EDIT: Added to the Memverse group!