The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King

by Dan_s Comments

17) Let Me Be Your Teddy Bear

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Let Me Be Your Teddy Bear by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

Celestial charged into her innermost sanctum, a place no pony was permitted to go. Her back legs collapsed and she slid across the floor at the sight of Discord and the Titans of Chaos. She looked around and realized Discord must have affected the room to allow the huge creatures to exist within the relatively small room.

"Well, I think we can skip the introductions," Discord said as Celestia backpedaled and regained her feet, "And any protests to my plan. At least out of you."

"It can't be," she said as she looked at horrors she'd been assured the Tree of Harmony had banished ages ago.

"Much as I'd love to say this is you going insane," Discord said, "I think we all know their arrival was not the cause."

"Then what do you want, Discord?" Celestial asked angrily.

"I want to have never met you, you vicious nag," Discord shouted at her, making her retreat, "But since not even I can manage that, I give you one last chance to surrender. Abdicate. Absent yourself from the throne, let Luna take over. I don't care if you 'escape justice', you being gone is enough."

"And leave my little ponies to your mercy? Never," Celestia replied.

"What about your mercy? We just watched what that's good for. Massacre of hundreds of millions, because you didn't approve of them and their ways. Quick fry almost 200 adults and another 135 kids because they stood up to you, and they were your 'little ponies'," Discord replied, he shook his head. "Nevertheless, I have offered clemency, and been refused. I will now take, instead of asking."

"I'll fight you!" Celestia said as she took on a combative stance.

Discord restrained himself from responding as he often did, but took a lesson from the Newfoals and politely, quietly asked, "How?" As Celestia struggled for an answer, he and the Titans left, restoring the room to normal.
------------------------------

Discord heard the rumblings of mutiny.

"Rumble, rumble, rumble, mutiny, mutiny, mutiny."

I'm beginning to remember why I let the Tree lock them up, Discord realized.

"Don't make me stop the car!" he shouted at them.

A moment later they were on Earth within a category-4 hurricane, then standing atop the Toba Supervolcano, then looking closely at Sol, then back on earth in the Marinas Trench subduction Zone, then the Rift Valley in Africa, then the basalt of the Siberian Traps, and finally at the former site of Washington, D.C., specifically the IRS headquarters. The 'oo's and ah's from the other chaotic creatures told him he'd won them over. "Now do you see why my plan is the best?!" he told them.

The five, mighty beings kowtowed to him.

"Not too much, people will confuse me for Celestia," Discord said, "Go, look around, enjoy the place. I've got some errands to run, but be ready for my signal. Nopony is going to be ready for what we do."

Discord laughed, then reappeared near a cloud house. "I don't know what Pinkie meant by 'I read it in the comments', but I should have thought of this myself." He opened the door. "So, Tank, you want to help your master?" Discord waited a while for the tortoise to slowly smile and nod.
------------------------------

"So, this lets you organize books the same way, across every library in the country?" Twilight squealed happily. Fleetfoot managed to filter out most of Twilight's boundless enthusiasm when she repeated it.

"Nerd pillow talk," Fleetfoot's stallion High Octane murmured. Then he looked up at the evilly grinning Fleetfoot. "That turns you on?"

"Turns her on, so enjoy the side effects," Fleetfoot said, Twilight repeated and blushed. Twilight got a kiss on the forehead and a cuddle. Fleetfoot felt her stallion move around underneath her.

"There's also the ISBN numbers," Bookworm murmured to Twilight and nibbled her ear.

"You ponies are insatiable," High Octane said.

Book Worm gathered Twilight against him and grinned, "Ain't it the truth."
------------------------------

Fluttercorn watched all the weird fish, like tiny bits of color in a world of absolute darkness. Considering who was with her, none of the predators of size got anywhere near her.

"It's so different from the surface. Yet, in many ways the same," she said.

True, she heard his thoughts, This seems to be the only place in Equestria that is 'Earth-like'. Even the Everfree Forest is a softened version.

Attracted by the light of Fluttercorn's horn, some fish swam closer. In, through and out, a shadow darted, and the remaining fish scattered in the wake of the predator's attack.

"It seems harsh, but fair," Fluttercorn said, "Maybe when I go to Earth next, I'll be able to see what's there, and go look at what I want to look at."

Just remember, Celestia didn't lie about how dangerous humans can be, she just lied that their entire environment isn't that dangerous, she heard him think, They are one of the kindest creatures in their environment, because they are the deadliest.

"And we've fought them," she said.

How do we make peace? she wondered, The Newfoals can't get angry, but it's clear they can clearheadedly and cold-bloodedly plan to defend themselves.
------------------------------

The boats from the last sealift had been returned. The fisher ponies and sailors grumbled as the Royal Guard confiscated every one of them for their trip across the sea. None of the owners were happy that the Guard had earlier planned to bomb these very boats out of existence. Many wondered when they would be permitted to again ply their trades and earn their livelihood.

The commander was aware of the tenuous hold she had over the populace, and the angry rumblings from the crowd. She blamed the Newfoals entirely for this. Stupid ideas that they are anything but Celestia's ponies, she thought, then looked up at the rapidly approaching pegasus guard. The guard looked as panicky as a regular pony.

"Show some spine kid," she ordered, only to get a mulish look from the pegasus.

The guard drew himself up and saluted before reporting. "There is a large pinwheel approaching from the east, I mean really large," the guard said.

The odd sound and sight did look like a fireworks pinwheel. The flames pivoted down and the thing came to a landing several hundred yards outside the harbor's breakwater. It stood up and let out a scream.

"Look at the tusks on that thing," several of the officers around her murmured.

"It's a giant, saber-toothed tortoise," the commander gasped.

"Turtle," the pegasus guard said, "Are they manufacturing those things now?"

"How many buckin' monsters can they create?" one of the commander's aide gasped.

"From Toho, eighty-two if you count all the minor monsters that are up to the size of an Ursa Minor. If they're adding the Daiei crowd, that's another 17, but they're generally about half the size of the Toho crowd. It's Ghidorah I'm worried about. The old joke was what's got three heads, no brains and flies around destroying things? Either Ghidorah, or a Senate junket from the States," the pegasus said.

"How do you know so much about these? You're no Newfoal," the commander said, she knew, she'd purged her command of Newfoals.

"My wife was a publicist at Toho, She told me all about them when they first showed up," he said.

"Well, as long as it stays out there, we've got nothing to worry about. Just a giant tortoise."

"Turtle, fire-breathing, saber-toothed turtle," the pegasus said. "If I remember right, he could burn up the whole fleet from where he is, and duck down behind that breakwater if we start firing at him."

The commander briefly offered a prayer to Celestia for strength and wondered what else could go wrong.
------------------------------

Tank was still feeling a little queasy about the flight. But Discord had said Rainbow needed help, a few days distraction until she was in a shape to deal with these crazy ponies.

Tank didn't trust Discord, but if Rainbow needed a few days to rest and regain her strength, Tank would buy her every minute of that time.
------------------------------

Appleling spotted Discord. The draconequus was walking a little funny. She trotted over, followed closely by the guards who'd essentially volunteered to keep her out of trouble. Surveying the nearby farms and orchards hadn't given them any trouble. Although it had made Appleling terribly homesick. Ya can't go home, Appleling thought, Not with all that's happened.

"Y'all right?" she asked.

Discord sat down heavily. "Never again," he said.

"Got into Granny Smith's Zap Apple cider?" she teased him.

"No rode on the back of a turtle," he said, then seemed to focus on her, then her guards. "Ah good. I need you to deliver a lecture."

"That's more Twilight's bailiwick," Appleling said as she shied back from Discord's calculating look.

"Don't play the illiterate, country bumpkin with me," Discord said, "Neither of us have the time. Besides, the lecture I need you to deliver regards the harvest."

"Which harvest?" Appleling asked.

"Doesn't matter," Discord said, "But they need to know, and understand. They don't, not really."

"Who?" Appleling asked. Discord pointed behind her. Appleling turned, and realized her guards weren't Newfoals. "Ah, buck."
------------------------------

The ships, just a handful, were trying to break out, to get past him. Tank roared at them. He looked at the ships and realized they thought he was bluffing. He wasn't. Rainbow Dash was behind him, and she needed time. It was not the first time he'd rescued her, and it wouldn't be the last.

Two huge gouts of flame moved him to the center of the channel through the breakwater. The ships didn't appear to be veering off, and several airships were trying to line up on him.

This would not stand. The fireballs were some of the weakest he could throw. The airships all took one, as did each of the sailing ships. The airships turned so they would crash-land on dry ground, the ships abandoned their approach and began fighting the fires that were consuming their rigging. An arrow or spell would hit him occasionally, but he could ignore them.

He moved back to the breakwater and watched.

Author's Note:

Nikas pointed out a very 'Discord' thing to do, but Discord wasn't driving the monster action. When Pinkie told him about Nikas idea, he just had to do it.

Comments

[Dan_s Comments]

4856404 It's aliens. No I'm not posting that guy's picture.

4856525 Take a look at the internet, how much Spitfire porn is there compared to Fleetfoot? Of course she gets all the stallions (and lots of the mares).
Shining knows, Celestia approved the change over (since Candence stood up to Celestia, Chyrsy didn't), Luna knows. Nopony else though.
You gave Discord an IDEA, be afraid, be very afraid.

4856535 Discord wants entertainment, and will do anything (like actually hatch a plan) to get it. He just actually cares about his pawns, but sacrifice one or two to win? Cost of the game.

4857984 4858069 4858087 The Newfoals are going to have to survive Celestia's planned onslaught, and the denouement of Discord's plan before they do anything. Anything they plan now is going to be useless until those two events are dealt with.
Oh, Discord has something much better for Celestia. A nice vacation.
Discord also can suggest an alternative, now that he has more resources out in the open. Don't forget, Discord's real aim is to 'get free cable for life', he isn't going to upset that applecart to make things easy for the humans, ponies or anyone else.

[A Spy on observation]

Hmmm....may I suggest a few non-Japanese monsters just to mix it up a bit? Like say,slenderman?

[Nikas]

I gave Discord an idea? "I don't know what went wrong."

Okay, did Luna approve of the Cadence switchup? I assume Shining did.

And suddenly Appleling's escort were all Changelings! I assume these are the survivors from her hive that Chrysalis abandoned or sold out for her spot as Cadence? Why do I see Applejack quoting Pratchett's book, "Reaper Man"?

For her Changelings:

WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN CHANGELING?”

And for Chrysalis (*spits*)

NO CROWN. ONLY THE HARVEST.

And I ran across a couple more Pratchett quotes from Reaper Man that seems to fit this fic:

Belief is one of the most powerful organic forces in the multiverse. It may not be able to move mountains, exactly. But it can create someone who can.

“Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended. And this is all very natural and organic and in tune with mysterious cycles of the cosmos, which believes that there's nothing like millions of years of really frustrating trial and error to give a species moral fiber and, in some cases, backbone.”

[Dan_s Comments]

4859642 You may suggest, but even the ponies would make short work of human-sized monsters.

4859700 There better be more than one.

4859763 It was discussed among the ruling princesses and no one voiced opposition.
Because that's what gave me the idea, and that's how a smart predator thinks. Actually the crown and the harvest are one and the same for Chrysy.

[Slayer 10321]

"So you're a bitch who doesn't like Liberty/Free-Will. Well thats ok cause you're about to learn about Liberty/Free-Will ON THE SUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEEE-YATCHHHH!!!!!!" (Please use!)

[Slayer 10321]

For the final battle please use these videos for inspiration of the scenes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[clubbzz]

4859951 Well, there is one giant monster out there that isn't Japanese in origin. You kind of hinted at him previously with the bi-plane comment.

[Warwolf]

King Ghidorah's more than just a three-headed son of a bitch with a chip on his shoulders. In the third Rebirth of Mothra film, he's basically described as anti-life personified. He can literally eat life force. This is what makes GMK so hilarious since he's technically a good guy in that film, being described as one of the four guardian monsters (Godzilla was also supposed to be one, but was possessed by millions of spirits which caused him to flip his shit and go crazy.) and also being a 'baby' orochi (thus explaining why he only has three heads.) though even when he's raised to full power, Godzilla still manages to kill him, and Mothra, and Baragon. On his own, no less.

I'm wondering how badly Celestia will freak out if Space Godzilla pops up. He's the closest thing Godzilla has a to a legitimate evil twin brother, due to his nature as a clone of Godzilla. But seeing as even evil has standards, I'm pretty sure even he would stand against Celestia, even if he later on wanted to take Earth for himself. Celestia can barely stand against Godzilla alone. Throw in Space Godzilla...and maybe Kiryu (who is a legit cyborg built on the bones of another Godzilla and has its soul?) Yeah, she's screwed.

Also, don't forget, there's a Toho version of Kong as well, who's Godzilla sized. There's also a Mecha Kong.

[moguera]

"Rumble, rumble, rumble, mutiny, mutiny, mutiny."

Discord should get up in the rigging to address those guys.
"You mean on top of everything else, this ship is rigged!"

[Dan_s Comments]

4860134 The Congress?

4860268 After what Discord does to her, she's be pleased Space Godzilla showed up. What would really freak out Celestia would be Hedorah, but I'm not going to do that. Of course Celestia almost might be Iris.

4860696 Every ship needs Standard Freeberg.

[clubbzz]

4862209 That would be too cruel

[disgunbegood]

When I mentioned Discord recruiting I hardly expect Tank to be among the new guardians of the planet. Now just who are these Titans of Chaos that the Tree, of all things, had banished?
Regarding Chrysalis and Shining Armor: there's subtle and there's a lack of clues. While the real Cadence did act as a proper hint without bashing the reader over the head with the facts, there was some confusion with how this came to be. Part of the problem is that neither Shining Armor nor Chryssy have gotten a proper part until now. The lack of any attempt of communication between Breezy Twilight and her brother also seemed strange, even considering some of their history in this setting.

Only typo this time around is this one here.

back on earth

you already fix'd "kowtoed"

Chapter 16

"Oh course,"

"And Equestrian will be nothing..."