Dessert
Loose's words brought me crashing back down to reality and remember what sinister purpose had brought us here in the first place. I suppose I should come clean about this place; The Starving Pony was a really exclusive restaurant. When I say exclusive, I mean exclusive, like, nopony would even acknowledge its existence unless you were in the highest echelons of the Canterlot aristocracy. In my short time in Equestria's capital, I had learned first and foremost that the wealthiest ponies there partook in the most bizarre and unearthly pleasures one could think of to both distinguish themselves from the lesser ponies and use their wealth to push the limits of their senses. This restaurant was no different; do you remember reading about those giant ponies that seem to pop up every so often when a spell backfires or something? Apparently, a lot find employment with this restaurant. When patrons are done stuffing themselves with the finest food in all the land, they then end their meal by being...eaten alive. Yes, ponies with more bits than brains think the perfect way to end a meal is to be swallowed whole by a pony 100 times larger than they are. Loose Change says it's “therapeutic” and "living art." Horseapples, I say. Yet, here I am, being led to this horrible fate by my best friend. I swear, sometimes I question whether or not hanging out for Loose is good for my health.
Still, if I backed down now, I knew that Loose wouldn't let me live it down. While I was growing up, I was taught that the worst thing a pegasus could be called was a coward. I know it's a cultural relic from back before Equestria was unified, but it seemed to stick with me. After all, Loose did pay out the snout for me, and I understood the value of money even if he didn't.
We passed through the threshold into the kitchen, and were greeted to several mares scurrying around, cleaning up after what I had presumed to be a busy night. The kitchen was a nightmare of dirty pots and pans, a stark contrast to the perfection of the dining area. We didn't stay in the kitchen for long, though; our waiter continued to lead us down a short hallway off to the side and through a rather plain-looking door. The room inside returned to the grandeur of the rest of the establishment, now dominated with shades of red instead of the darker colors of the dining area. Six doors lined the room's back wall, two of which were guarded by mares in purple velvet dresses. In the center stood a podium lit by a shaft of light coming from the ceiling. Glancing up, I could see that the light was emanating from a glowing crystal, expertly cut to focus its own light straight downwards.
“Monsieurs, here I must leave you,” our guide said as he turned around and began to trot out the door we came from. “Please enjoy ze rest of your evening.”
Loose giddily cantered up to the center podium and beckoned me to come up. Trotting up to it myself, I could see that it was a list what seemed to be names: Stormy Gale, Sequoia, Boaty...the list went on and on.
“I call Sequoia!” Loose exclaimed.
“Uh, alright,” I said as I continued to look at the list. I had pieced together that these were the ponies we would be served to. It was an absolutely surreal thing, being able to choose your doom like this. Obviously the process wasn't fatal somehow; Loose had been here multiple times, but I still couldn't help but obsess over the gravity of what I was doing.
“Oh hey, Orchid's here tonight, she's fun! Go with her!” Loose whispered to me. He sounded like a little colt showing a friend his new toy. I hesitated. Did I really want to do this? Could I really go through with this? I didn't even know who this “Orchid” was!
“...Okay,” I said. I suppose, in the end, it didn't matter who I chose. I'd suffer the same fate regardless. I just hoped that this Orchid mare was gentle.
The two mares guarding the doors trotted up to us once we had made our decisions.
“So, you'll be spending dessert with Orchid tonight, right?” the pink unicorn mare asked with a nasally voice.
“I suppose,” I replied with a sigh.
“Excellent then. Orchid is wonderful, you'll enjoy meeting her”
And she'll enjoy eating me, I thought.
The pink escort beckoned me to follow her with her hoof, and as I passed through the mysterious doorway, I could hear Loose yelling at me as he trotted into the other door.
“See you on the other side!” he yelled. What a considerate thing to say, dear friend....
I followed the pink mare down a long, narrow hallway that zig-zagged back and forth. The red velvet wallpaper and plush carpet gave way to clean, white tile, unblemished by any sort of speck or stain as far as I could tell. Eventually, we came out into a large white room whose walls were lined with metal doors, with a gigantic vanilla cupcake twice as tall as I was sitting in the center. Surrounding it was a metal frame with stairs leading up to the top of the pastry.
I knew exactly what my escort was going to tell me to do.
“Yeah, nah, I'm not climbing into that,” I said with a glare.
The escort didn't even bat an eye. “Good sir, if you wish to refrain from this, you are free to. However, I must remind you that the restaurant does not issue refunds for cancellations for any reason,” she said in her annoying voice. She sounded like her nostrils were packed with styrofoam.
Again with the money. Ugh, cursed my humble upbringing and climbed the stairs up to the top of the cupcake, wondering just how much flour it must have taken to make something like this. At the top of the metal frame, I could see that there was a little bridge that led into a small pit in the center. I walked to the end, and gingerly stepped into the hole, using my wings to balance me as I got a hoofhold on the soft, spongy material. I sat down in it, relieved that my head at least cleared the hole's threshold. Then again, perhaps I would have not preferred seeing things as they came.
Suddenly, the metal doors flew open, and gigantic containers of frosting were levitated out from within. Quickly and efficiently, they began to decorate the large treat with a fragrant, pink frosting. My hole did not escape this treatment, and I sat there, silently fuming as my hole was filled with the sugary goop. I was completely covered up to my neck, and then, as if to degrade my further, I felt a sudden torrent of whipped cream on the top of my head. I briefly wondered what Loose's “dessert” was like. At least mine was warm and comfortable; I can imagine that sitting a frozen treat must not be too pleasant.
Once the cupcake was dripping with frosting, I could see the scaffolding glow blue, then disintegrate, freeing my new home from within its skeletal prison. The next moment, the entire cupcake glowed blue, and my escort levitated the pastry, me and all, onto a wheeled platform that was the last thing to roll out from the metallic closets. I sat in silence as the whole thing began to roll out of the room into another similarly-tiled hallway. It was awkwardly silent; I could hear nothing but the gentle squeaking of the wheels and the tip-tap of the escort's hooves as we went through a labyrinth of twists and turns. All the doors and archways looked the same, but the mare seemed to know exactly where she was going. I began to zone out, thinking long and hard about the choices that brought me to this moment.
“You know, you can still back out...”
My escort's nasally voice broke me out of my trance. I could barely see her from my confectionery throne, and I didn't really care to climb out for a better look.
“I can tell that you're not as enthusiastic as our guests usually are, and I don't think I've seen you before. Are you new?” she asked.
I sighed. “Yep...” I said, not really caring if the mare could hear me or not.
“Mr. Change put you up to this?”
Another sigh, another “Yep.”
“Well, the therapy is a thing of extremely refined tastes,” she said as we stopped in front of a service elevator, the first unique door I'd seen since my little ride began. The green button buzzed when she pressed it, making the metal doors slide open with a creak. “There is no shame in backing out. Just say the word and I'll take you to the waiting area.”
With the push of another button, the elevator began to groan as it started to descend. The mare's offer was tempting, and I definitely thought about just saying to Tartarus with the whole thing and escaping the horrible fate that awaited me. But, Loose was right, I shouldn't be a foal about it. I am pegasus, strong and proud. I would be brave.
“No,” I said defiantly. “I'm not a wimp.”
“Suit yourself,” I could hear my escort say. “Though I will let you know that some of our employees are very enthusiastic about their job. They might still service you even if you tell them to stop midway.”
I gulped. It took all of my willpower to refrain from just climbing out of this giant cupcake and flying back to Canterlot after she said that.
The elevator lurched to a stop and dinged, opening its doors to reveal a huge cove, with a wide mouth opening up to the bay. I could now see that it was well into the night, the dark water illuminated only by the reflection of Princess Luna's beautiful full moon. The ocean almost filled the cove entirely; only a thin strip of sand and rock that lined the edge of the cove and a wooden dock that extended from the elevator provided walkable surface. A few floodlights that hung from posts on the dock provided light for the walkway, with stray rays of light faintly illuminated the walls of the cave, revealing them to be glistening wet with moisture. Aside from the floodlights, the dock was bare except for a large silver gong that rested on the side closest to the elevator. I surmised that we were in a cave directly underneath the restaurant and this was their shipping port, but then I noticed that the dock had neither rope nor pegs. Seems like it would be hard to dock without anything to tie your boat up, especially if you're going to be unloading cargo. I began to feel like something wasn't quite right here.
I was wheeled to the very end of the dock, which extended well into the center of the dark water of the cove, and levitated off the cart. I tried turning to look back, but the icing that surrounded my body was like a thick goop. I could barely shift enough to see my escort walking back down the dock with my cart in tow. When she reached the mysterious gong, though, she turned around and gave it a solid buck, sending an almost ear-shattering noise reverberating throughout the cave. The combined echo almost gave me a headache, and I could barely hear the whirring of the elevator as it ferried the mare and my cart upwards.
The ringing in my ears subsided, and I began to realize that my escort was not coming back. Whatever came next, I was on my own. I struggled once again to turn myself so that I could look forward at the mouth of the cove. If I was going to be waiting for something to happen, I might as well look at something nice. The deep, blue waters of Horseshoe Bay were legendary for their beauty, and I could see why. The streak of the moon was gorgeous, and the gentle rippling of the water made the whole scene look like a painting. Closer to me in the water, I began to notice little jellyfish floating in the water, glowing green with bio-luminescence. For the first time since I finished dinner, I started to relax and breath easy. This place was calm and serene, a perfect spot for a beach vacation. I even began to infrequently lap at the creamy, delicious frosting that surrounded me. After all, I paid for this dessert in the first place.
In addition to the streak of moonlight on the ocean, I saw that the moon's round shape was reflected off the surface as well, with a slight green tinge. I was a little perplexed at this trick of the light until I noticed that the moon had not one, but two reflections on the water, just a short distance from each other.
Then they started to move closer. Oh dear...
My heart began to race as the two green circles passed the mouth of the cave and into the cove proper. I desperately tried to control my breathing as the orbs grew larger as they approached the dock. How were they moving so fast? It was at least 200 ft between the dock and the mouth of the cave, and yet the glowing circles seemed to cover that in mere seconds. I was sweating with anticipation when they abruptly came to a halt not too far from the end of the dock. I could see that the light was coming from underwater, but I still couldn't make anything else out. I remained transfixed on them as they stood motionless, never once taking my eyes off them as they seemed to hover just beneath the surface. Was it some kind of spell? Some trick to enhance the atmosphere of the cove? My mind raced with the possibilities of what these things could be.
Without warning, they went dark for a split second. It finally hit me; they were eyes.
I could see the water bulge upwards for a split-second before the ocean erupted like a volcano. I was blinded by the massive torrent of seawater rained down on me, washing away my whipped cream crown and soaking the cupcake I sat in. Were it not for the coating of frosting, the sheer amount of water would have made the pastry disintegrate. I took a moment to regain my composure when the rush of water finally subsided, my nose and eyes tingling from the salty mist. I whipped my head to get my soaking mane out of my eyes, and that's when I saw it. The monstrosity that had examined me from within the murky depths had finally revealed itself. It's form resembled that of a unicorn, but everything about was a sick perversion of beauty. It was absolutely gigantic, it's head stood least 100 ft above sea level, and the thing was only halfway above the surface of the water. Its skin was a dark gray, slick and shiny. The creature had the same dark coloring almost throughout, save for the teal bio-luminescence around its body. The ends of the creature's floppy, unkempt mane glowed, as did the ridges on its unicorn horn. Two floppy antennae sprung from its forehead, with a tiny, glowing bulb at the end that reminded me of an unopened rose. The top of the snout was armored with some sort of shell, while its bottom was lined with giant, sharp, pointed teeth that poked out from underneath its massive lips. The creatures eyes were definitely the source of the light that I saw earlier, the creature's irises glowing with more intensity than the rest of its features before giving way to deep black pupils. Pupils that were focused directly on little old me.
My heart sank like a rock. It was at that precise point that I decided to call it. Loose Change could take his bits and shove them. Pride, stallionhood, bravery, all that goes flying out the window when a giant sea monster rises from the darkest depths of the ocean right in front of me. I tried my best to pull myself free, but this frosting had set like tar. I could barely move, let alone pull myself free. Still, I struggled as hard as I could. I could think of nothing but getting out of there as fast as possible. I wiggled with all my strength while the deepest, most primal fear I had ever felt flowed through the fiber of my being.
“Hi!” the creature said with a hauntingly beautiful voice. It was like a siren had possessed the creature in front of me.
The sea monster lowered its torso back into the ocean as it leaned closer to my dock, letting the end of the wooden platform just barely touch its snout as it brought itself as close to eye level as it could get with me. Now that it was closer, I had the sick revelation that its mane consisted not of hair, but of countless fleshy translucent tentacles, with a bio-luminescent light on the tip of each one. They squirmed and twitched, seemingly with minds of their own. The smell of rotting fish burned my nostrils as it leaned close with a deceptively innocent smile on its huge lips.
“My name's Orchid,” it said. The disgusting aroma hit me again as she spoke and made me feel like puking my guts out.
“Uuh...uuuh...it's a p-pleasure to meet you, M-Ms. Orchid,” I managed to stammer out as my struggling began to subside. So this was the “Orchid” from the list. I vaguely remembered seeing a picture of her in a newspaper a few years back. I still remember that headline, “GIANT MONSTER TERRORIZES NEW YOKE CITY.” I guess after she was done with that, she managed to somehow find gainful employment here. I suppose I should be happy; having a job means she's doing better than most Equestrians. Either way, she could talk, which meant it could be reasoned with. I just had to make sure to say the right things. “M-my name's...”
“I already know your name,” Orchid said, cutting me off. Whenever she spoke, I couldn't help but focus the flurry of her sharp, gnashing teeth that danced around in her mouth. The teeth of a predator.
“Y-you do?” I asked. Did the restaurant brief her on me before this? How would they even communicate with something deep in the ocean?
“Yes!” she continued with a large, toothy grin. “Your name is food! It's your name because it's what you are!”
I suddenly felt lightheaded, like I was going to faint. “I'M NOT FOOD!” I yelled while I once again resumed my struggling. Why did they make the frosting this thick and hard?
The sea monster brought her gigantic nose close to me and deeply inhaled. The force at which she sniffed was mind-blowing; were I not stuck in this frosting, I would have certainly went flying into her nostrils. She exhaled through her mouth, disorienting me once more with her fishy halitosis.
“You smell like food,” she said, resting her chin on the dock. I could hear wood groan from the extreme weight.
“I...I...uuuh...I taste disgusting! You don't want to eat me!” I yelled. I found that wiggling my forelegs back and forth little by little seemed to inch them towards the surface. If I could get those free, I just might be able to pull myself out. I just needed to keep her distracted long enough.
Orchid gave a mighty, sonorous chuckle. “But I like the taste of ponies, silly!” she said. “Besides, the nice ponies from the restaurant give me all the chips I want, but only if I eat my food. I don't want them to be disappointed in me.”
“Chips!? You like chips! I like chips too! Can we just talk about chips for a while!?” I shouted as I continued to wiggle myself ever steadily towards freedom.
Orchid's eyes were absolutely transfixed on me, and I could see her big, gray tongue lick her lips. Tears began to well in my eyes.
“I'm hungry now.”
I screamed as Orchid opened her mouth wide, revealing her full set of sharp teeth. I could see the glow in the back of her mouth now, which in any other case I would have called beautiful, but now merely served as a highlight of where I would be going if I didn't escape immediately. Slowly, the sea monster leaned closer and closer, and I had to fight her humid, rancid breath as I yanked with all my might to free myself from my confectionery prison. I went into overdrive as the very tip of her snout pressed into my face, before sliding down as she effortlessly sank her teeth into the giant cupcake. Her skin felt like wet rubber as it dragged along my cheek, before suddenly tearing itself away, effortless ripping off a huge chunk of the pastry. I continued to wriggle my front hooves free as she stared at me with those horrifying, mesmerizing eyes of hers. Orchid was a messy eater; pink chunks of cupcake rained down from her lips crashed into the water. My heart raced upon seeing her predatory chompers shred the cupcake to ribbons, and feared that I would be next if I didn't make a break for it soon. I was getting close; I could move my wings move and more, and wiggling my hooves became increasingly easier as they inched towards the surface. Orchid swallowed what little cupcake remained in her mouth, and once more leaned forwards to have more of her dessert. I had a feeling that she wouldn't miss her mark a second time. I watched in horror as her gaping maw, dripping with incandescent drool, got closer and closer.
Suddenly, I heard a loud “plop”, and felt my hooves and wings break free from the accursed frosting. It was like a huge weight had been lifted from my heart. The beast was seconds away; I would only get one chance at this. I snapped around towards the elevator and raised my wings. I flapped with as much force as I could, but nary did I feel the snowy icing leave my hooves did I see a bright flash, and then darkness.
The force Orchid's tongue and palate slamming shut on me left me winded. Were it not for the pungent smell of her breath burning my nose, I probably would have passed out. I did my best to catch my breath in the darkness, but the untainted, primal fear that coursed through my body made me want to faint. The inside of her mouth was completely dark, except for dull glow that emanated from her throat. I couldn't even look at the foreboding pit. My mind raced: how could this be happening? I felt like crying out for my mother, even though I knew that there was no hope for me now. I had one chance, and I beefed it.
Orchid's tongue dragged along me, drenching my fur with her hot saliva. I tried to struggle, but it was of no use. I was pinned, immobile. Only the sudden shifting of her mouth gave me some relief, letting me look around as her lips opened to let in sweet, sweet fresh air. I crawled across her tongue towards visions of freedom, but the monster was clever enough to rearrange her teeth to be like prison bars, letting me glimpse the outside world while keeping me trapped inside of her oral cavity. I fit my foreleg through the gap, desperately longing for the freedom that I had to quickly lost.
“Heh heh, you taste like chicken!”
I could hear Orchid's taunt erupting from her throat and washing me with her stinky breath, but I didn't even care anymore. I let my outstretched foreleg dangle, and leaned my head against the back of her tooth to sob gently. Why even fight anymore? There was nothing I could do. Orchid had me right where she wanted me; she could play with me as much as she wanted. I had never felt so completely and utterly helpless in my life.
I felt Orchid's tongue twitch and slide beneath me, coming up under my chest and lifting me up and away from my only gateway to the outside. As her lips sealed themselves shut, the last fragments of hope vanished from my soul. I went limp and just gave in to her sick whims as her tongue twisted and tossed me around her mouth. I didn't even care enough to close my mouth sometimes, giving me a taste of her sickeningly salty saliva. Orchid was absolutely savoring me, pressing me up against her firm palate and the flat sides of her sharp teeth. I suppose I should be grateful that she didn't chew.
The sides of Orchid's tongue curled around me once she had me pointed towards her ominous, glowing throat, locking me in place for my final journey. My life flashed before my eyes as I felt her slowly tilt her head back and I began to slide down, down towards her massive gullet. My family, my friends, my accomplishments, it all seemed like nothing compared to the might of the sea monster. My descent halted momentarily when I reached the very edge of the pit, Orchid's tongue curling up slightly to prevent me from falling in. Confusion and hope flickered in my heart for a brief moment, before being snuffed out as her tongue undulated beneath me and pushed me into her throat with a mighty flex.
All I could think of was how tremendously loud the gulping noise was. You don't normally think of swallowing as loud, but that's because its muffled by the flesh of one's neck. Being right at the epicenter, the gulp was earsplitting, with gigantic muscles forcefully pushing air, saliva, and myself into a tiny tube. Orchid's esophagus was tight, but not constricting. There was air enough to breath (if you could call the rancid fumes that wafted upwards “air”) but my hooves and wings were utterly pinned. I was sliding down headfirst, accelerated by a combination of gravity and powerful muscles pinching the sides of my flanks, squeezing them down the slippery walls. I moved along until I hit an exceptionally narrow length of the tube which blocked my progress. With one final, mighty push, I was forced through the narrow fit, the air pushed from my lungs as I squeezed inside and finally came to rest inside Orchid's stomach.
My nerves got the better of me, and I began to shake. Was this the end of my journey? Was I doomed to rest here for eternity, to be slowly dissolved by the stomach acid? For being such a big creature, Orchid's stomach wasn't as large as I had anticipated. The fleshy folds were soft and loose, and, if I had the motivation to, I could easily have sat myself upwards. But, I instead started to relax. There was nothing I could do anymore, so why bother? I was content to just lay here, half submerged in warm fluid, gazing at the hauntingly beautiful glow of illuminated Orchid's insides and wallowing in my own self pity. Black spots dotted everywhere, the whole thing making me think of a night sky that had somehow been inverted. Laying there, I just felt incredibly weary. The soft, rhythmic beat of Orchid's pulse was almost hypnotic. I closed my eyes as tears silently fell down my cheek. Would this be the last time I fell asleep? A part of me just didn't care anymore. Everything was just so...peaceful.
I would have wallowed in my sorrow longer, but I felt my body tense up from an unseen force. For a split second, my fur felt electrified, and I opened my eyes to a blinding flash of purple. It felt like something had hooked into the deepest pit of my soul and was yanking hard, pulling me to some unknown destination. The purple flash gave was to a blinding white, and the moisture around me went from being warm and oily to cool and rough. I sank quickly, and had to kick at the smooth, hard bottom of whatever I was in. My head breached the surface of the water and I gasped for air. I was relieved as cool air filled my lungs instead of the hot vapors of Orchid's body, and, looking around, I saw that I was back inside one of the white tiled rooms of the restaurant and floating in some sort of large pool. On the edge, I could see a single yellow unicorn with a frizzy blue mane sitting at attention, with a white towel draped around her neck.
“We hope you've enjoyed your visit to The Starving Mare, sir,” she said as I climbed out into the dry tile. I couldn't believe it; my freedom had been restored. I giggled madly and kissed the wet tile as tears of joy poured from my eyes. I had never felt so happy to be alive and collapsed from exhaustion as the mare levitated the ivory towel and patted me down to dry me off. I just laid there, breathing heavily, a goofy smile on my face as the mare dried my rear. After all I had been through, it was simply heaven.
“I'm sorry sir, but due to Orchid's nature, your fur will have a neon blue tinge for the next few days, is that alright?” she asked, giving me one last rub on the head before levitating the towel into a bin. Despite my best efforts, I could answer her with little more than incessant giggling. She probably thought I was crazy, but I didn't care. I was just so happy right now that I didn't care if my fur was a little dyed from the stomach acid. “Allow me to take you to the waiting room,” she said.
With shaking legs, I climbed back on my own four hooves and followed the yellow mare through the restaurant's labyrinthine corridors to another room covered with red velvet. Loose Change was sitting there on a sofa, and his face beamed when he saw me.
“Sunflower! You made it back in one piece!” Loose yelled as he leaped off his couch and cantered towards me. “Give me bump!” he said while holding his front hoof out.
I should have been mad. I should have told Loose I hated this Celestia-forsaken place and there was nothing I wanted to do more than to go back to my flat in Canterlot and sleeping for the rest of the weekend. But...he was right. I did make it through in one piece. With a shaky hoof, I gently tapped Loose's foreleg.
“Don't worry, first time's always the worst. To be honest, I half thought you'd chicken out. I was surprised you weren't waiting for me here when I got done,” Loose said with his voice dripping with pride.
“It was tempting,” I said, still breathing a little heavily, “but I summoned the courage to go through with it.” I actually felt very proud of myself.
“Yep...” Loose said. His snout began to twitch as he sniffed the air. “...and you definitely did go through with it. You're going to need to take a long bath when we get home.” I suppose a simple rinse might not get the smell of rotted fish out of one's fur, even if it does work well for washing off stomach acid. I shuddered to think what would have happened if this restaurant didn't have expert teleporters on staff.
“Sir?” I could hear my escort ask. I turned to her to see a levitating some piece of paper in front of her face. “Your commemorative photograph, sir. Free of charge.”
Leaning in, I could see that it was indeed a photo of me and Orchid. I illustrated the look of extreme terror I had on my face, my wings flailing as Orchid's mouth hovered inches above me. Aah, so that white flash was some sort of hidden camera? What made me chuckle was how Orchid was winking towards the camera; every last second of our encounter must have been a big game to her.
Over my shoulder, I heard Loose try to stifle a chuckle. “So, courage, huh?” he said, obviously getting a sick kick out of seeing me fear for my life in the photo.
“Shut up...” I groaned as I slipped the photo in between my feathers.
The door labeled “Exit” took us right outside near the restaurant's entrance, where I could spot our chariot in the nearby clearing. Right on schedule, I thought. Loose and I took our time trotting to our taxi.
“So, what did you think?” Loose asked me as we walked.
“The dinner was great. Dessert, not so much,” I said with a deadpan expression.
“Oh come on, you had to admit it was a unique experience. Just think, you've been through something most ponies never get to see.”
“I feel very happy for those ponies. They're fortunate in ways they don't even understand.”
We finally reached the chariot, and Loose hopped inside before turning back to face me.
“So, I was thinking of coming back sometime next month. Maybe we could even bring Moon Gazer, I know for a fact that he's never been here before. You up for it?” my friend asked.
I hopped in after him. “...Sure. Why not?.”
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think you're missing a word there
my
instead, or instantly
Anyway, it's pretty great seeing a fic with Orchid here! I normally don't like macro stuff at all, but for some reason I find Orchid really awesome. I think it's partially becasue alloyrabbit has done such amazing art of her. Though you may want to mention somewhere that Orchid isn't your oc.
as for the vore itself, I usually like my vore same size, but this was pretty good. I'm actually pleasantly surprised to see you doing vore period. I have a small thing for lamias, mostly as a byproduct of how much I love vore, and I have to admit that I'm disappointed that none of your lamia pone fics have vore in them. but this fic gives me hope that maybe you'll do one someday!
4759124
Ack! Those errors. It seems a few always slip by even when I do proofread. I'll fix them; thanks for pointing them out.
Also, yeah, maybe I'll do some lamia vore. I don't like the whole snuff part about it, though; so I don't know how I'll handle that.It's the peril and hopelessness that rocks my socks.
For some reason I kept having weird visions of Orchid shrinking down somehow and giggling at him madly in the pool, dunno why.
Enjoyed it by the way, well done! :)
I'm gonna be honest, I didn't really enjoy this.
Now, it's nothing wrong with you, as the writing was fairly decent. But it was, in part, that vore is just not my thing.
The other part was this; when I saw it, it made me cry and I've been melancholy all week. I've also been listening to How to Save a Life repeatedly since then.
The two feelings don't exactly mesh. *shrugs*
Ah well. Best of luck to your future endeavors.
4787463
Eh, it's alright. Different stokes for different folks.
4789470 Mm-hm.
Me being melancholy probably didn't help either.
Heh, poor Moon Gazer.
Could this be a sequel hook?
You really nailed Orchid's personality here, great work!
Very niiice
5618554
Orchid is a big monster-pony.
I can kinda see Sunflower showers suddenly become obsessed with orchid, maybe that's just the shipping part of me.
Hey, just wanted to say, I gave it a read, and I was impressed. You put a lot of work and thought into the background and set the scene really well. I am, however, tempted to say that it almost feels like the two chapter could be put into one and just flow into each other. As it is, though, I enjoyed it. It was a nice read.
This was a rather bizarre, but thrilling read! Really creative premise and I loved the narrator's voice.
Can't believe I hadn't read this until now.
How did he get out of her stomach?
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Teleportation spell.
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Oh! Think i would have appreciated a bit of a longer stay personally, how can a mare get a satisfied meal if her prey gets teleported out so soon? :p
good stuff, nonetheless!
10341713
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it.