Sup I'm just a MLP lover that's all
For a long time myself and my too best friends Trix Flame and Mixer were lost having no cutie mark were the worst. it's true that I'm just a filly but It feels like I'm a full grown mare but ever seen we have came to Equestia are lives have been changed but there is a lot to my story so I'll begin at the beginning. Even if it pains us we will tell the story.
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I'm not trying to be mean but this should be stated bluntly, this story in its current form is really bad. There's no description of where they are, nothing to set the mood, nothing to actually show why the these events are happening. Maybe you should join some of the groups designed to help authors get better, or read up on how to do proper narration for a story.
5299225 Thanks but no thanks if you read it you would know why and where they are
Looking forward for the next chapter
5299331 Thanks
"Too" isn't the same word as "two".
Is this supposed to be one sentence or two? I can't really tell what you're trying to say with that last part.
A new sentence should always begin with a capital letter.
The word you want is "since", not "seen".
Choose either "we came" or "we have come".
"Are" isn't the same word as "our".
Do you know what a run-on sentence is? If not, this is a perfect example of one.
This sentence is missing a comma.
English isn't your native language, is it?
pls no
Alicorn ocs? Yeah no.