8-Bit Pony

by Dawn Flower

9.

“Alright, now we need to take this slowly and analyse every step carefully if we’re going to do this right.” Black Mage said to Fighter.

“Wow, just look at him.” Fighter said with his arms up in the air, completely ignoring what Black Mage just said. “He’s so cleanly made. He must be at least a hundred bits.”

Black Mage immediately facepalmed and then looked back up to face him. “Fighter, stop being so stupid. We’ve already been over this. The Gods themselves are made up of sixteen bits, so there is nothing that can occupy any alleged higher realms than that.”

“But we can see him up close right now and he’s so clear. You can’t even see the bits that he’s no doubt made of.” Fighter countered.

Black Mage raised his finger to his mouth in thought. “Hmm, you might have a point despite being stupid.” He then looked up at Fighter again. “I believe that there is only one logical explanation to this.” He then turned back around and gestured toward the blue unicorn. “This almighty being, whatever it is, is clearly a God’s God’s God.”

“Well, actually…” The unicorn stallion tried to butt in.

Black Mage turned back towards Fighter… again. “He probably possesses powers the likes of which our feeble mortal minds cannot hope to comprehend…”

“If you’d just let me cut in here…” the unicorn tried again.

“The only reason that we continue to draw breathe is simply because he finds our existence humorous, and would like for us to provide him with entertainment to help fill up his eternal and probably boring life.”

“I really only need a few words…” the unicorn tried to interject.

“It will most likely involve humiliating and degrading acts performed by us, that will ultimately end with our souls being very painfully ripped from our bodies, forcing us into eternal servitude to this Dark God’s God’s God.”

The unicorn was about to say something, but then Fighter cut him off. “But why would he go through all of that work?” Fighter questioned. “Couldn’t he just enslave us right now?”

“Oh, Fighter. Oh poor, stupid, naïve, stupid Fighter. It is simply the way that these twisted beings work. They give you the illusion of a choice, thinking that you may one day win your freedom, or that they may be generous enough to grant you a speck of power in exchange for your time serving them, all so that they can crush your spirit in the end by revealing that they never planned to let you go at all, and that you spent your last moments willingly ended up losing your life, not in the literal sense, but in the figurative sense, and also in the literal sense.”

“Wow, that’s pretty messed up.” Fighter looked down as he spoke.

“Yes, I know.” BM then turned back around (Oh, God’s God’s God) again to face the unicorn stallion. “Well then, we should probably get started. No use in dragging this out.”

“Actually, like I tried to say before, I’m not a God. I’m a pony; a unicorn to be exact. Welcome to Equestria.”

Author's Note:

I think that Black Mage constantly turning around will be the fimfiction's Brick Joke.
...
One of the fimfiction's Brick Jokes

Comments

[Brandon Sky]

Turn around, every now and then BM spouts some weird theory and we have to listen to him~

[Asolem2]

“Wow, just look at him.” Fighter said with his arms up in the air, completely ignoring what Black Mage just said. “He’s so cleanly made. He must be at least a hundred bits.”

Wait ... are you guys still only 8-bits ?