18.
When Black Mage opened his eyes again, he was standing up, with Pinkie Pie inches away from his face. If he still had his trusty stabbing knife, he would have resolved this breach of his personal space the same way he solves all his problems: by stabbing them repeatedly.
However, seeing as how he was sadly lacking his favourite stabbing implement, Stabby Jr. (named so because he acquired it by breaking Fighter’s sword, Stabby), he instead simply took a step back, away from the pink pony.
He then placed his hand up to his mouth in thought. “Well, let’s see. I’m standing up, breathing, and still surrounded by you idiots, which means there’s about an 80% chance that I’m still alive.”
“Yeppers, that’s right,” Pinkie answered him, with a happy smile on her face.
“I see.” BM said, looking up. He then pointed at Pinkie with both hands. “Didn’t I give you explicit instructions not to help me? Also, stop being happy.”
Pinkie scrunched up her face in response. “Well, actually you said that you didn’t want us to help you, and the way you said it implied that you wanted to die, so us helping you would mean that we’d help you die, but since you said you didn’t want us to help you, that means that you didn’t want us to help you die, which, by process of elimination, means that you wanted us to help you live, so I did.” She then started smiling widely again.
Black Mage simply stood there, speechless, pointing at her, then briefly turned his head around, looked down at the ground, placed both of his hands to his head to stop another migraine, and then faced her again.
“You know, I’d be more upset, but it’s really my own fault for not being specific enough. I should know by now that people like you and Captain McStupid, by which I mean Fighter, interpret everything in the stupidest way possible. Also, I told you to stop being happy.”
Pinkie just giggled and beamed in response. “Oh silly, asking me not to be happy is like asking you not to try and get back into Hell and try to take it over again.” She then closed her eyes and beamed brightly.
BM’s eyes suddenly shot open. “Wait a minute, how do you know about that?”
Pinkie just opened her eyes, lazily, and looked back at him, innocently. “Hmmm. What do you mean?”
Black Mage started trembling in anger, brought on by stupidity. He had become intimately familiar with the feeling throughout his life. “But you… that…” He stuttered. He then placed both of his hands against his head as he felt a terrible headache coming on. “I never thought I’d say this, but I want to talk to Fighter!”
“Hiya, best buddy.” Fighter appeared next to him, between BM and Pinkie Pie.
“I immediately regret my decision!” BM turned around towards Fighter, still holding his hands to his head.
Meanwhile, further to the side, Twilight huffed angrily. “If you’re all done, can we please move on already,” Twilight said, her left eye twitching, as her OCD was reaching critical levels.
“Please.” Black Mage begged, over the rambling that he was hearing from both sides.
Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Fluttershy stood even further to the side. “We’re still here.” They all said together, to no one in particular.
Stats
Page generated in 0.025 seconds
Total duration
1,003 users online
85,206 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I don't regret reading this fic.
Do when will black Mage snap and hadoken ponyville?
Still waiting for Angel Bunny to kick BM's ass.
And for BM to meet Discord.
And get his ass kicked by Discord.
4911163 I think black mage might be barely able beat angel, and I think discord will like him
I keep trying to hit the thumbs-up button after every chapter, but it only works once! What is this madness?
Anyway I am thoroughly entertained and this is the best thing I've found in at least a week.
(Also, I'm being completely literal here - Almost every single chapter has made me go to hit the thumbs-up button only to realize I'd already done that)
So you say