• Published 23rd Jul 2014
  • 808 Views, 6 Comments

My Little One-Shots - Kieva Lynn



A collection of short one-shot stories, usually unrelated to each other though some may interconnect. Se the full description for info on each chapter.

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Beaver and Buttmane

Author's Note:

Please no one take this chapter's mention of two politicians as political. I am as unpolitical as a person can get, and don't even know which party they belong to or what they stand for. I just find their names funny, especially given the nature of the scandal the first one got himself into...

As our scene begins, we find Buttmane, a teenage colt in a 'Deth Sadl' t-shirt, sitting alone on his couch. As he idly flips through the channels on t.v. (He long since gave up on Mtv, since they now show everything except the music they're named for), he stumbles across a news report.

"This scandal could well be the end of congressman Weiner's political career..." The reporter was saying.

"Uh... Uh huh huh... Huh huh huh huh..." Buttmane laughed. He then shouted "Uh... Hey Beaver! Come here a minute!"

Another teenage colt joined Buttmane, sitting next to him. "Eh... Eh heh heh... What's up?"

Buttmane motioned to the t.v. "That dude's name is Weiner. Huh huh huh Uh huh huh huh..."

"Eh heh hehe... No way!"

"Uh huh huh... Yeah. Loser."

Beaver disagreed. "Uh, actually Buttmane, I don't think it makes him a loser at all."

"What are you talking about?"

"Uh, well, I just think that, like, if your name was Weiner, I think that the chicks would really dig that."

Buttmane stared at his friend. "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Really?"

Beaver began to shake with excitement. "Yeah! Yeah! You'd be all like 'Uh... Hey ladies!' And then they'd be all like 'Uh, what?' And, and then you'd be all like 'My name is Weiner.' And then they'd be all like 'Cool.'"

"Dude! That rocks!" Buttmane exclaimed.

"Yeah! Yeah! Fire! Fire!" Beaver yelled.

Buttmane slapped him upside the head. "Shut up dumb butt. We're not allowed to say that anymore."

"Oh yeah. Sorry about that. I forgot."

There then followed several minutes of blessed silence, until a light bulb went on over Beaver's head. "Flame! Flame!" He exclaimed.

"Uh huh huh... Cool." Buttmane laughed. "Huh huh huh huh huh....”

On the television, the reporter switched to a new story. “In other news Congressman John Bohner is traveling...”

Buttmane began to laugh again. “Uh huh huh huh... 'Bohner'... Uh huh huh..."