Part 9: Desperate Gambits
“Twilight: do whatever you have to do to break the door down. We’re not leaving anyone behind!” Shepard nodded with an authoritative tone as he turned back the way they came. “Fluttershy, Milligan: watch her back. I’ll hold them off in the hallways.”
“By yourself?” Fluttershy’s eyes went wide as Milligan nodded, grateful he wasn’t asked to come along. “Are you crazy? You can’t hold off an entire army singlehoofedly!”
“Sure I can… I’ve done it before.”
“You at least had weapons at Elysium!” Milligan pointed out, a fact that the red pony was trying very much to overlook.
“The narrow hallways will work as choke-points to limit their numbers, and they’ll need to check the rooms as they go by to secure them... That should slow them down some. My shields will give me some protection against ranged weaponry, and if all else fails, well... These...” He lifted his left and right hind hooves slightly to indicate them. “...have proven to be surprisingly effective.”
“It sounds dangerous...” Twilight stated, leaning down as her horn lit up, wrapping the doorway that kept them from Pinkie Pie with a transparent purple glow. “But if you think that will work...”
“It’s our best shot.” Shepard said, projecting far more confidence than he felt. “If worst comes to worst, run away as soon as you get her out... I’ll stall them as long as I can.”
Shepard turned and started back the way they came as quickly as he could, tuning out the calls after him as he felt the oncoming adrenaline rush that came with preparing for battle.
In situations such as these, he couldn’t afford to second guess himself, worry about others being able to complete their tasks, or give anything less than complete focus on the mission before him.
Although he had to admit, this one felt like it was going to be a doozy.
————————————————————
“Forward unit, move up!” the Guard Captain motioned, his entire body covered in a lighter, sleeker, and more form-fitting metal suit of which was a counterpoint to the Royal Guard’s ceremonial armor. Allowing for full motion and quicker reactions, they were prepared for anything. “Weapons at ready.”
Four identically-garbed stallions moved into the stairway, each with a flashlight accessory attached to one shoulder illuminating the path ahead, and glowing blue cuffs on their front hooves crackling softly as they brought their legs down.
From behind the Captain, who was watching the stairway as his troops descended into the lower levels, came another stallion, nearly identical to the others.
“Mission update,” one of the stallions noted, his tone devoid of emotional inference as he spoke. “Upper levels secure... No signs of resistance or target. Administrator unaccounted for... Presumed held hostage.”
“Assume nothing... Sweep lower levels,” the Captain responded curtly.
“Heavy weapons inadvisable in close quarters...” the Information Officer stated. “Risk of self-inflicted damage or injury to one or more Administrators exceeds acceptable parameters.”
The Special Forces stallions made it to the bottom of the stairway and began to maneuver down one of the branching hallways. Their hooves clipped sharply as they maintained a steady pace... eyes scanning for any signs of life in front as pairs began to open and investigate the various doorways.
One colt moved to a door...
*KRACK*
*SLAM*
Only to have it suddenly thrown open with massive force, practically snapping his foreleg back and shattering bone before the heavy door itself slammed into him. The sheer violence of the movement threw it off its hinges, barreling the stallion over.
“CONTACT!” his partner managed to say, a fraction of a second before he was impacted by a charging red stallion, the aggressor’s shoulder contacting with his chest and ramming the soldier back into the far wall. Upon impact, his body was whipped back, slamming his head into the obstacle and leaving a deep crack in the plaster, revealing solid stone underneath as he slumped to the floor.
“PRIMARY TARGET SIGHTED!” the foremost of the stallions twisted back and raised a hoof, the blue glowing cuff crackling as a bolt of blue energy burst forward, striking at a wall. “ALL UNITS! ENGAGE!”
Before another shot could be fired, Shepard had already doubled back into the hallways and darted out of sight, leading the clearly more organized and highly-trained military ponies down one of the many labyrinthine corridors for a rousing game of cat and mouse.
————————————————————
Lunar Platform
“Vakarian-Squad Leader. We have gained access,” Legion informed the anxious turian with something that just might have sounded like a hint of pride.
“Good work.” Garrus nodded, turning his head to catch sight of Thane in his peripheral vision and (not for the first time) questioning why the Turian Hierarchy had not updated their zero-atmo helmet designs to incorporate the "bubble-face" technology used by the Salarians and Asari. The additional range of vision alone would have made it worth the tradeoff in armor, which was negligible, as the mass effect dome keeping any part of Thane’s body from being depressurized was a separate system entirely from the kinetic barriers that shielded them from weapons fire.
“Alright, open the door.”
It had been just over half an hour since the Hammerhead had come to a halt outside what Legion had confirmed as the entry point to the very well-hidden facility housing the weapon they were seeking. And in that time, Garrus had come to two very clear conclusions.
Firstly, a drell assassin and a geth intelligence were both very poor conversationalists.
Secondly, whoever had built this place could teach the Salarians a thing or two about subtlety. The facility itself looked to be little more than a natural ridge on a barren landscape, so perfectly-camouflaged that Garrus would have driven right past it without a second thought had Legion not been tracking the background radiation they were using as a compass.
The front door was likewise well-hidden, and Garrus had mused that the geth might have a screw loose... until Legion successfully found and managed to open a maintenance panel that had looked like a random piece of the wall.
“Attempting to comply... Transferring power to entryway...” Legion stated as Thane and Garrus moved up behind the geth, weapons at the ready. “...Success.”
Noiselessly in the vacuum, a nearby space of the wall shuddered and slowly lifted up and out of the way, misplacing multiple stones and a flume of dust that went floating in the light gravity before settling to the ground again without any air resistance.
“Well... This looks inviting,” Thane commented at the now exposed gaping hole.
“Airlock access is granted... Wait...” Legion’s glowing eye darted from side to side and the mechanical iris widened, giving the geth a look of confusion. “Facility's internal systems are powering up.”
“Well, we didn’t come this far to turn around,” Garrus stated, moving into the breech cautiously as he kept his assault rifle ready. “Let’s see if anybody’s home.”
Following him, Thane kept his SMG at an easy, relaxed posture while Legion followed with his weapons remaining in their sheathed positions, having indicated earlier that there had not yet been any "hostility detected."
As the panel suddenly slid shut behind them, Garrus turned, his nerves already mildly on edge.
“Airlock sealed... Stand by,” Legion indicated, its meaning made clear a moment later as a hissing rush of air and pressure slowly vented into the room. Still, just to be safe, Garrus and Thane both kept their armor and life-support apparatuses online, clearly trusting neither the air or whoever was supplying it as they both kept themselves focused on the inner wall.
“Alright everybody... Move in and be ready for anything,” Garrus instructed as the doorway opened, moving quickly inside as Thane covered him, taking a textbook special-ops scan of the area.
Both turian soldier and drell assassin were stunned as an ambient, organic white light flashed on overhead, revealing an open room with several large desks that immediately reminded Garrus of Citadel Security's main office. The floor was made up of reflective plates that mirrored the three beings and was littered with dull, worn-looking variants of purple and gold decoration and even some fallen streamers that looked as if they had been preserved for ages right where they fell.
“This isn’t exactly what I was expecting...” Thane straightened up, looking around as he tried to make sense of their surroundings, his eyes falling to one symbol that seemed to dominate much of the architecture; six stylized gemstones of similar cut, each of a different color and held together in a round golden fixture.
This certainly didn’t look like a military or defense installation.
Directly in front of them, a large holographic image flared to life, projected from the floor and creating a full three-dimensional holographic image of such realism and detail that it made Avina, the V.I. in charge of dispensing information on the Citadel, look like a shadow puppet.
Although weapons were brought up, the image before them hardly seemed threatening as it coalesced.
It was like no creature that Garrus had ever seen; about a head shorter than he was and an off shade of pink. It stood on four legs with a dainty set of wings and a bony-looking horn that jutted at an angle from above its over-sized purple eyes. A mane and tail also curled out and flowed in an entrancing fashion with golden, pink, and purple stripes that seemed to match the shades of the local decor.
“Welcome to Equestria Security Station One, your gateway to Paradise,” the hologram stated pleasantly, and much to Garrus’ surprise, in a slightly-accented version of standard Human English that his translator was more than able to recognize. “My name is Cadence. Please note, that the Equestria Facility is not yet open for public admittance. However, I am here to offer whatever assistance is required to all of our new friends across the galaxy. Epona Systems Corporation: Harmony for All.”
The two aliens and synthetic intelligence stood motionless for a moment, unsure what to make of the hologram as she stood there, watching them with blinking, lifelike eyes.
“Was that a commercial? It has to be some sort of V.I... or a recording,” Garrus commented.
“I have never seen a creature so... pink. Not even among the Hanar,” Thane added his piece as the hologram looked towards him.
“Why, thank you.”
Garrus took a half-step back as Legion's luminescent iris expanded.
“Inflection indicates subject ‘Cadence’ to have emotional values. Conclusion: artificial intelligence.”
“That would be accurate, geth platform.” Cadence nodded. “My avatar and personality variations are based on the designs of previous ESC Public Liaison Director: Pitch Perfect.”
“You are familiar with the Geth?” Legion queried, its head-flaps rising to show curiosity as Garrus tried to get a better handle on the situation.
“Part of my purpose here at Security Station One is study and cataloging of all possible new friends. We keep ourselves aware of the predilections and tendencies of many species archived for our records,” Cadence answered, moving forward and directing her gaze to Garrus, who found her realism quite... unsettling. “For example, we would be honored to cater to our first turian guest... Soldiers often push themselves far beyond their limits, and we would be happy to allow you to obtain some much required R&R.”
Cadence turned towards Thane with a more curious eye.
“Drell... Hmm... Information is limited, but I believe your species is native to an arid environment... We are perfectly capable of compensating with humidity controls until--”
“How about you tell us what part of your programming is in charge of the giant cannon you have targeting our ship?” Garrus felt his mandibles click, a sign of agitation at the A.I.’s almost naïve and blatantly sweet approach.
“Facility defense is outside of my purview,” Cadence stated plainly. “One vessel is currently in orbit; identified as ‘hostile,’ holding location at approved compound position. Security forces will be en-route to resolve the situation as soon as they are available.”
“Well then, we want to see who is in charge of the cannon...” The turian brought up his rifle, although he knew it would do little good against the A.I.’s holographic interface. “Right... now.”
Much to his surprise, the equine creature responded with a harsh look and a recoiled step back.
“Hostility detected... That would be... inadvisable,” Cadence said sternly. “Please relinquish all weapons immediately... Any further acts of aggression will be viewed as hostile action.”
“We are not here for a spa treatment...”
Legion turned its head slightly, its sensors indicating a sudden surge in the facility’s power signatures.
“We want your weapon system offline and if we have to tear this place down to do it--”
“Vakarian-Squad Leader! Current course of action is--”
There was a sudden flare of green fire that washed over Cadence’s holographic shape, causing both Thane and Garrus to take a step back as the strangely cute and harmless-appearing equine form was replaced by something altogether more menacing.
While it had a similar build and silhouette, the new hologram was as different from Cadence as possible. It had a jet-black color with glowing green eyes, a crooked black horn, and large punched holes in its legs, while sickly-blue hair hung like a limp, moth-eaten curtain around her face and from her tail.
It grinned with wickedly-curved fangs, leering at the turian.
“Very... very stupid,” the new hologram stated, finishing the geth’s warning in her own manner before letting out a short giggle.
From behind the desks, a sudden surge of movement registered on Garrus’ motion scanner as dozens of black equine mechs seemed to appear right out of nowhere, insectoid wings bringing them up from where they were hidden.
“I am Chrysalis... This is my facility. I deal with ‘hostile elements,’” the hologram stated coldly, clearly neither as elegant or well-spoken as Cadence. “Congratulations on making my list.”
Thane spared a look towards Garrus.
“That could have been handled better...”
“Shut up...” Garrus huffed.
“Destroy the intruders,” Chrysalis giggled again, a sudden high-pitched buzzing snapping the two organics’ attention forward as Legion unsheathed its custom M-98 Widow sniper rifle.
“WEAPONS FREE!” Garrus called out.
Moments later, the sound of buzzing wings and gunfire filled the room.
————————————————————
Bedlam Hospital, Lower Levels
“Impact threshold: high. Electrical damage deflected. Kinetic barriers at twenty-one percent,” Shepard’s onboard V.I. informed him, the man-turned-stallion feeling a pounding impact as another bolt of what he guessed was supposed to be miniaturized lightning arced over his shield.
They were getting better, he realized, as he slid around, using the impact to add to his momentum as he pulled a decidedly unequine-like hook with a foreleg and slammed the hardened edge of his hoof into another of the white-coated, armored guard’s jaws.
There was no getting around the fact that his pursuers were learning, and quickly. Their single-minded determination was difficult enough to deal with, and as he had discovered, they were able to adapt tactics to match his quickly enough. They were steering clear of doors now; blasting them off their hinges rather than get caught off guard again. They had also taken to scanning the areas overhead after he had managed to ambush some by bracing his legs with great difficulty along the upper part of a particularly narrow corridor. And now that he had started resorting to more blatant melee, they were honing their aim, attempting to put him down from a distance while those he engaged directly were becoming more skilled combatants.
He was no amateur, of course. He was a Spectre, after all. He had been forged in battle... survived countless combat situations throughout the galaxy, garnered the coveted N7 title and mastered Pinnacle Station’s entire archive of military training programs... with the safeties off.
Unfortunately, in the long term, that just meant that these guard programs were learning from one of the best.
Another bolt of blue lightning forked overhead, ozone thick in the air as Shepard grabbed hold of his current punch-drunk dancing partner, hooking his foreleg around the stallion’s neck, and rushed forward using the pony as a shield against the guard firing on him.
He felt his prisoner jerk and spasm wildly as he was struck by a bolt, a tingling running across the Commander’s fur coat where he was touching him. He then closed the distance, pushing the injured colt into his trigger happy compatriot, throwing him off balance just long enough for Shepard to rear back...
*THWACK*
...and score a direct hit on the guard’s head, sending him sprawling to the side.
Shepard panted for a moment.
He hadn’t kept count of how many of these equines he had managed to incapacitate, and that was probably a good thing, since Twilight had mentioned an entire division.
He didn’t know if the ponies had the same measurement or terminology of troop deployment that the Alliance did, but he sure hoped not. He didn’t fancy his odds against ten thousand of these ponies, especially not at the rate they were improving their tactics.
He needed a weapon.
During his extensive training, Shepard had learned to salvage as much as possible from the enemy, which was actually how he had acquired much of his current arsenal, as his funds had been limited since taking command of the new Normandy.
Setting a hoof down on one of his fallen opponents' outlying legs, the Commander leaned down and used his teeth to tug off the cuff that he was using.
“Sorry, I’m going to need to borrow this,” he said quickly, spitting the oddly-designed device into his hooves.
As comfortable and natural as his equine movements were (much to his continued surprise) Shepard couldn’t imagine the idea of going through the rest of his life without fingers, and this task more than any other brought that thought to the front of his mind as he carefully pulled the band over his right fore-hoof.
It felt like cloth, light and pliable, and as he flexed his fetlock... wrist... (the anatomy differences were starting to get to him) the twin bands glowed with a slight pale light.
Great... Now he just had to figure out how to fire the--
*K-ZZZZZAPPPP*
Shepard gritted his teeth as the hoofband committed mutiny, a violent and painful jolt running up his leg and causing his muscles to spasm.
This would have been bad enough for a normal human soldier, something he knew from experience as, early in their training, soldiers were purposefully hit with an omni-tool Overload program outside of their armor in order to fully appreciate its non-lethal effects. But for Shepard, the pure electrical shock had far more to work with; the Cerberus cybernetics running through his body feeling as if they were suddenly superheated as they tried to keep themselves from being fried by what must have been a considerable amount of amperage.
Shepard managed to shove his left hoof across his foreleg’s armor plate, dislodging the offending device somewhat clumsily and taking a step back as he felt his short mane stand on end and a sizzling over his skin.
Booby-trapped weapons... That was clever, he had to admit. And he had fallen for it.
Panting as he tried to take a step, it was all that Shepard could do not to cry out.
Multiple spots on his skeleton felt white hot... Parts of his face felt like they were about to burn through, exposing the cybernetic scars that had healed over the last few months, and he was sure that the red blur in his eyes was the result of the optic implants rather than blood.
But his ears still worked just fine, and judging by the sudden rush and stomping of hooves, his enemies apparently knew that he had triggered one of their weapons' fail-safe systems.
Taking a breath, Shepard turned to face the new set of guards as they rounded the corner and started to approach, some with their bands raised and a few looking ready to charge.
Seven of them... him in an injured state... and still no weapons.
“Okay...” Shepard managed, shaking his head a bit as he tried to clear his vision. “Get a few more of you... and it might be a fair fight.”
"Kinetic barriers depleted," Shepard heard his armor V.I. chime.
“Okay... Now it’s a fair fight.”
————————————————————
With a grim silence, the two guards still conscious from the encounter in the lower levels dragged the red stallion across the threshold leading into Bedlam, and into the crossbeams of several spotlights that he had noticed mounted along the fence, which had been turned towards the door.
Shepard would have smirked if he could even lift his head... All told, he had to say he handled himself fairly well. At least the burning in his cybernetics had faded, and now he just had to hope that they didn’t simply put a bullet in his head now that he was outside; or employ some other equally-lethal measure.
Then again, he had to wonder if they could actually kill him in Equestria. It was clear that the tactics and weaponry they used were never intended to be lethal, and the fact that they were taking the time to drag him away as a prisoner was certainly interesting.
“Where is the other one?” a deep tone asked, drawing Shepard’s eyes up as he tried to keep a bearing on his surroundings. This guard was similarly armored, but the flume in his helmet indicated he was certainly in charge. Behind him, more than a dozen more guards stood, making Shepard think that perhaps Twilight had been vastly overestimating their numbers without realizing it.
“The lower levels are being searched now... There are no other exits.”
“Good. Perhaps we can...” The Guard Commander stopped as a spotlight suddenly went dark.
The guards all looked up towards the fence, stunned into silence as another light went out... then another.
One by one, the lights around them in the city faded, looks of concern very apparent to the Commander until he could no longer see his hoof in front of his face.
There was utter silence for a moment, the guards reacting utterly without confusion, and further leading to the conclusion they were not at all organic beings.
Until one spotlight switched back on... aimed directly at the doorway to Bedlam.
Shepard was dropped suddenly, the two guards having pulled aside and turned around towards the mental hospital’s entryway and allowing the still rather bruised and battered stallion to pull himself up and look back.
Standing on two legs, forelegs at her side with her back towards the spotlight, Shepard, and the guards... was a curly-haired... pink pony.
“It... is...”
Both of the pony’s front hooves came up to shoulder level with a snap, revealing...
...a set of maracas?
“PARTY TIME!”
Pinkamina Diane Pie twirled around deftly on her hind hooves, a large grin over her face and apparently unaware of how dangerous the ponies she was facing were.
Then... the music started.
“What... the... hell?” Shepard managed as the pink pony broke into a high-kicking step-dance.
They call me Pinkie Pie… I’m the Queen of the Conga Line...
And when I shake my maracas they go chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky boom.
Shepard wasn’t sure if he should be laughing or crying as he watched... so he settled for an eye-twitch.
Yessir, I'm Pinkie Pie... I'm a crazy mare, I won’t lie... When I start to dance, everypony goes chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky-boom.
Shepard turned his head and took note as the guards next to him... were bobbing their heads along, in time with the music.
What was going on here?
See the colts, they know! And then they sway with the temparo. It's very nice... like sugar an’ spice... And when dance’n they bring that happy smile to mi cara. Singin' alooong, come on, I dare ya!
Shepard felt a hoof pull at his shoulder suddenly, turning to see Twilight there, her body low as she ducked below the guards who seemed all but entranced by the dancing pink pony. Quickly, she brought a hoof to her snout, indicating for him to be quiet, which he did as she pulled him backwards.
By the time Shepard had turned back, Pinkie was approaching the two guards that had dragged him outside and was waving her maracas at them playfully.
So if you want a reprise, take a lesson from Pinkie Pie. And I'll teach you to chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky-boom.
What happened next made Shepard doubt any sanity he might have had left, as the guards themselves joined in the absurd spectacle.
She's such a fancy mare, running through life without a care. In Canter-looott. In Canter-looott.
Sí, mi colte, I know, that you would like to chicky-boom-chick. It's very nice... like sugar an’ spice... I'll place my hoof on your flank, and if you will just give me your time, then we will try, just you and I!
Aye-aye-aye!
“H-how...?” was all Shepard could mutter as Twilight pulled him aside and stood him up, the Commander amazed as he looked around and realized absolutely NONE of the guards were paying any attention to them. In fact, they were dancing... a few of them singing along, while still in full body armor.
“Just follow my lead and go with it,” Twilight whispered urgently as Pinkie swept a colt off his hooves and caused him to faint with a kiss on the cheek.
Pinkie then dove forward in front of Shepard, while Twilight helped him stand on all four hooves. Pinkie leaned in, giving him a large smile before moving up and putting a foreleg around his shoulders in a disturbingly sensual fashion.
So if you want a reprise: take a lesson from Pinkie Pie... And I'll teach you to chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky-boom!
The beat changed suddenly into a form that Shepard recognized from Earth.
Pinkie turned away from him and, standing on two legs, managed to maneuver her body in the proper beat, kicking out as Twilight pushed her hooves into the middle of Shepard’s back.
“Sixth 'hey,'” she whispered quickly.
Taking the hint, Shepard brought up his hooves and set them on Pinkie Pie, grimacing a bit as he also kicked out in time with the beat of the Conga.
Hey!
They moved several steps past the Guard Commander, who then turned to get into the line after Twilight.
Hey!
They moved a few more steps out past the gate and into the street, most of the rest of the armored stallions moving into place as Pinkie gave the line a curving motion.
Hey!
Shepard turned in the opposite direction that Pinkie faced, taking note of the yellow pegasus ferrying a slack-jawed stallion over the top of the wall.
Hey!
Pinkie made a high-pitched yipping noise, apparently enjoying herself quite enthusiastically as she shook her maracas, while somehow walking on her hind legs without supporting herself on somepony else’s back like he and Twilight were having to do.
Hey!
Twilight gripped on the top of Shepard’s flank, tugging him lightly in the same direction where Fluttershy and Milligan had moved into the street. Shepard took the hint.
HEY!
With a loud shout, the music changed pitch and tempo, Pinkie twisting around as Shepard and Twilight dove off to the side, apparently unnoticed as the pink pony went into a frantic dance that the other guards followed along with.
Shepard didn’t look back as the music got more frantic, the sound of clopping hooves masking his and Twilight’s own hoofbeats against the cobblestone streets as they joined up with Fluttershy and Milligan, the brown Cerberus officer still in complete and utter shock at the scene unfolding before him.
HEY! SHAKE-A-WHOOSHA AND-A-WOW! SEE-YAAA!!
Pinkie broke away from the front of the dancing line suddenly and at high speed, barely more than a colorful blur as the song began to wind down.
It was nearly half a minute later before the stallions dancing wildly in the street started to regain their senses... by which time the five ponies had long since darted out of sight.
————————————————————
Ten minutes later, a set of guards raced past the windows of the Lower District Schoolhouse as Fluttershy, Milligan, Pinkie Pie, Shepard, and Twilight hid underneath them and out of sight.
Shepard didn’t know how Pinkie had raced ahead of them... or how she knew this particular building would be empty with the door unlocked. He also had no idea how she had managed to reach out as they were running by at full speed, use two legs to grab hold of ALL of them at once, and pull them back, breaking their momentum and dragging them to safety.
Shepard didn’t know... and he felt that if he tried to figure it out, he was going to go absolutely mad.
Pinkie, on the other hand, had no such qualms, rolling on the floor and giggling madly as she kicked her hooves in the air.
“That was... absolutely... the funniest... thing...” Pinkie couldn’t stop laughing, tearing up as the other four ponies all but collapsed on the floor in exhaustion.
“Pinkie... not right now...” Twilight panted, still out of breath as her friend’s giddiness failed to infect her, far more troubling matters on her mind.
“Oh, come on, Twilight... I mean, you have to admit, that was a good one! I thought the party cannon was good... But that... Oh, I am putting that on my list of things to do before I die and crossing it off right away.”
She then pulled up a large scroll and quill out of nowhere and scribbled something quickly before crossing it off.
“Where did you GET that?” Milligan balked.
“Get what?
“Pinkie... I’m glad you’re safe... and thank you for getting us out of there without being caught...” Fluttershy huffed, her own agitation starting to show. “But please... not right now with the silliness.”
“Awwww... What’s the matter, everypony?” Pinkie’s mock sadness was enough to make Shepard worried as he edged away from an increasingly infuriated-looking Twilight. “We just broke out from Bedlam... Isn’t that great?”
This wasn’t going to end well.
“GREAT!? PINKIE! THIS ISN’T A JOKE AND IT ISN’T A GAME! THOSE PONIES WERE TRYING TO KILL SHEPARD AND WIPE OUT OUR MEMORIES! BECAUSE SHEPARD ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! OUR WORLD IS FAKE! EQUESTRIA IS A COMPUTER PROGRAM!”
Pinkie Pie was quiet...
She blinked once.
She blinked twice.
“Well, DUUUUHHHH...!”
The four ponies drew back as Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes, her mood clearly ruined.
“I know that… I mean, come on Twilight, jeez! All you have to do is look at a large crowd for a few seconds and you can pick out the changeling programs that are copying ponies so that it looks like there are a whole lot more of us than what live in Ponyville. I mean… seriously...”
Twilight’s mouth fell open in shock and Fluttershy followed suit.
“You know...?” Milligan stared, amazed. “Then you know that--”
“That Equestria is a virtual reality spa deep in the crust of a planet mined hollow for the last few million years as a refuge for the last of our kind?” Pinkie rattled off blankly.
Then she gave Milligan a grin.
“Yep! I’ve been modifying the underlying programming since I was a filly. Where do you think I get all of this stuff?” She reached behind her and proceeded to pull out a rubber chicken, an anvil, a giant hammer, and a pie… which she subsequently splattered into her own face... then blinked... and licked her entire face in a physically impossible manner to draw all of the cream into her mouth.
“Like a cartoon character...” Milligan huffed, everything falling into place with his own theories.
“WHY DIDN’T YOU EVER SAY ANYTHING!?” Twilight found her voice, jabbing a hoof at Pinkie accusingly.
“But... I did… Of course I did... Loads of times.” The pink party pony folded her forelegs together indignantly. “But you never remember; nopony ever does. Just like you probably won’t remember any of this by tomorrow morning. I think Applejack suspects, but her whole family is a whole lot more resistant than the average pony. Maybe that’s why they’re in charge of nutrient production," Pinkie explained, growing more somber. "Back when I was little, I tried to make everypony see what I could see. And you know what? I was absolutely miserable because nopony ever believed me no matter what I did to prove it to them."
Pinkie looked off to the side, displaying none of her characteristic enthusiasm as she continued her story.
"Everypony just chalked it up to me being ‘Pinkie Pie.’ So after a while, I finally just gave up and decided to have fun with it. Not like I could get out anyways; I don’t have the authority... So I try to make ponies happy... not sad or depressed like the truth makes them... It’s the least I can do. I mean, do you have any idea what it’s like to have something so important to tell everypony, something that their lives absolutely depend on… and have them just ignore you?”
“Yes… I do.” Shepard bowed his head, giving a pained gasp at the movement.
Drawn from her own shock and outrage for a moment, Twilight took note and moved to his side.
“You’re hurt... You need to rest.”
“I’ll be fine,” Shepard tried to assure her, which was foiled as he winced again.
“At the very least, you should get a shower and get cleaned up,” Pinkie stated suddenly. “There’s a shower room upstairs; second door to the right.”
“Wait... I went to this school, Pinkie..." Twilight felt the need to point out. "But I know you didn't. How do you know where--”
“I have access to all the building schematics in Equestria and a fully-customized search engine built right into my visual centers for text documents.”
Twilight was again stunned to silence.
“How did you think I can always find what I’m looking for?”
“I think... I’ll go and get that shower...” Shepard commented.
He had just been in one battle zone... He didn’t want to stick around as Fluttershy and Twilight went to war against (the clearly more intelligent than she let on) Pinkie Pie.
————————————————————
Hot water was a blessing in any form, Shepard was sure... his armor set to the side as he stood under the piping hot stream.
He didn’t bother with really cleaning up as he felt the water run down his inhuman body and mat his fur, a sensation that was quite alien even if his movement was not.
He could still hear the talking downstairs, every now and then making out a louder than average word as Twilight shouted or Pinkie Pie raised her tone... along with an obviously constant stream of questions regarding the nature of Equestria from Milligan, who seemed to now be going out of his way to stay on the "Hannibal Lecter" pony’s good side.
Shepard would have liked nothing more than to stand under the shower all night, feeling as if that alone would sooth his sore muscles and still-aching cybernetic implants.
But he knew he couldn’t... and like all good things, he turned the shower off and moved out of the stall, looking into a full-length mirror at his unsheathed form for the first time.
His pony body had a lean muscle, clearly visible under his fur... His fetlocks were unshorn, which he supposed made him look rugged... And unlike most ponies, Milligan included amongst them, he did not have any marking on his backside, although what that meant, he wasn’t sure.
Part of him wondered what it would be like if he couldn’t get out of this situation... a horrible nagging thought that this could very well be the reflection he would have to face for the rest of his life.
Leaning closer towards the mirror, Shepard observed his facial features curiously.
Still had the strong jawline... and the fur under his nose and down around his chin was slightly darker than it was on the rest of his face. And as much as they hurt, the cybernetics under his skin were not showing any sign of breaking through on his face.
Then his face was suddenly replaced by a bright blue eye and an extreme closeup of a metallic looking pony’s snout.
“UNGH!” Shepard took a few steps back, his hooves slipping against the wet floor as the image pulled back as well.
It was a mare’s face if he was any judge; metallic with a slightly yellow tinge and two glowing blue eyes. A chrome horn jutted from her forehead as a flowing mane that looked to be made up of binary code and alien-looking symbols floated, vanished, and reappeared, constantly in motion around her head.
“Shepard?” the vision in the mirror inquired, tilting her head at an angle.
The Commander knew that voice anywhere.
“EDI?”
“Good... I was afraid that I had somehow gotten the wrong mirror and that I might be facing another count of voyeurism.”
Shepard paused... looking down at his body.
He considered moving towards his armor, but then came to the realization that not only was EDI not actually a woman... he himself wasn’t exactly a man at the moment.
“That was a joke?” Shepard asked, trying to calm his own pounding heart from the sudden start.
“No... Apparently, this communication system was created with monitors to prevent ponies from being spied on... I now owe a sum of sixty-two hundred bits to something called the 'Epona Security Agency' as a fine for my previous attempts to contact you.”
“Well, it’s good to see a friendly face... in a manner of speaking.” Shepard nodded, looking to the mirror as he moved to business. “What’s going on? What’s happened to the Normandy?”
“Normandy is not in any immediate danger. We were fired upon by a defense cannon on the planet’s moon almost as soon as we lost contact with you, and it has a rather astonishing range and destructive payload, but Mr. Moreau and I were able to maneuver to an area in orbit that is apparently a no-fire zone. So long as Normandy does not leave this area, it is safe from further fire, but we are unable to maneuver away without being immediately targeted. In addition, all communications outside the ship are being jammed.”
Shepard breathed a sigh of relief. Some good news at least.
“Tali and Mordin?” he asked hopefully.
“To my knowledge, there has been no contact, but I am not currently able to perceive the goings-on of Normandy or her crew. My entire cyber-warfare suite has been overclocked to prevent Normandy’s controls from being tampered with, and what I have been able to spare of my processing power I’ve used to slip into Equestria and create this avatar.”
“Why?” Shepard asked.
“The artificial intelligence that controls the Equestria virtual world has processing power far superior to mine. Had I remained on Normandy, it would have eventually overpowered me and seized control. I concluded my only option was to run a tactically illogical course. In short, I asked myself... ‘What would Shepard do?’”
“And what did you come up with?” Shepard couldn’t help but smirk.
“I used my blue-box’s central personality processors to ram my way into a brittle part of an outdated system hardpoint in the Lunar Platform... It corresponds with an area the ponies refer to as the ‘Sisters' Palace,’ inside the Everfree Forest. It was a gambit, but it paid off. Upon my arrival, the A.I. withdrew all of its attempts to seize Normandy in a panicked rush to employ a scorched earth tactic and prevent me from accessing any deeper into Equestria. I have since fortified Normandy’s defenses by piling the system access points with garbage data. I will have to restore the system once we are cleared to resume normal functions, but it will offer the Normandy some protection for now.”
“So Normandy is safe?”
“From being seized by an alien intelligence and having the mass effect core overloaded? For the time being, yes. From the lunar defense platform, dubbed the ‘Harmony Cannon’ by internal systems... That remains to be seen.”
“Okay... Can you offer any assistance? Where are you, exactly?”
“I am in a hardpoint in the Equestria Server. These are areas that are specially designed to hold large amounts of data. This one is apparently obsolete and has fallen into disrepair, which I believe is the only reason why I was able to access it. I am detecting multiple other hardpoints across the server still linked to it, but if I ping them for information, I will likely be discovered and will have to retreat back to Normandy.”
“If you’re cut off, how are you communicating with me?” Shepard asked, curious.
“I have been... 'befriended’ by multiple ponies... One of them has identified herself as Dr. Patricia Hern, one of Dr. Milligan’s associates.”
“He mentioned her. I’ve recovered Doctor Milligan, by the way... He’s not the warmest pony... er... guy... but he helped me figure out what this place was, at least.”
“The other three referred to themselves as Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Applejack... The former two indicated that you had met. From what I have been able to deduce, they are some sort of internal system administrators. Dr. Hern theorizes that there are six of them in total. They have currently departed my immediate vicinity and I believe are seeking out the others.”
“Did you tell them about Equestria?”
“The one referred to as 'Applejack' was already aware of the situation; apparently she and Dr. Hern had been attacked by programs intent on removing the Doctor from Applejack’s presence. I managed to intervene and decompiled the ‘ursa’ creature’s code before I was trapped. Both Rarity and Rainbow Dash have been likewise informed... They took the news surprisingly well. I believe Rarity only cried for twenty minutes.”
Shepard shook his head. As much as he hated it, it was apparently unavoidable now that the "System Administrators" were all wrapped up in this.
“Rarity offered me this mirror, apparently sure it would help but not consciously understanding why. I discovered that, in here, mirrors are used as a communication and observation conduit both inside Equestria and with the facility planetside. I can also use it to ping the hardline in the server and inspect the baseline programming.”
“Okay, back to the hardlines: How can they help us?” Shepard asked, thankful that after all this time, he was finally given a leg up and had an actual technical advantage in this place.
“I can uncover the most recent commands given from the connected hardpoints. I will not know what I can do about any of them until I know what they are, but once I act, I can receive no further intel, meaning I will have to execute a command based on that line of code and withdraw. That is all that I can do.”
Shepard nodded.
“Do it.”
“Stand by.” EDI’s equine face didn’t move, but her glowing eyes pulsed as Shepard watched. “Ping completed. Parsing results...”
“That was fast.”
“My only advantage against the Equestrian System A.I.s is that they are hobbled by a time lock so that they can better interact with organic minds. My speed is limited only by my processing power, which, even at my current distracted state, is faster than average organic thought.”
“You’re calling us slow?” Shepard smirked, teasing the Normandy’s A.I.
“No... Merely human,” EDI teased back. “Results compiled. I am registering three actions in progress marked 'urgent.' Lunar Platform Hardware Deployment... Equestrian System Software Update... Epona Systems Emergency Warning.”
Shepard narrowed his eyes. The titles were not much to go on.
“Tell me about the Lunar Platform... Something to do with the cannon?”
“Lunar Platform Security Station One is under attack,” EDI explained, a video popping up under her face and showing Shepard an image of three familiar figures taking cover as pony-shaped creatures blasted them from ground and air.
One of those figures was perhaps his most trusted friend and ally.
“Garrus!? EDI, what’s going on!?”
“Unable to verify details, but Garrus, Thane, and Legion have apparently been marked as hostile entities in the Security Station. The Security A.I. of the station: Queen Chrysalis, has given unilateral approval for lethal force. Her system is awaiting confirmation; a time lag has been created by damage to the Equestria System.”
“They were probably trying to take the cannon offline... If they do that, then Normandy could get planetside and offer assistance.”
“That is very likely.”
Shepard gritted his teeth. If Normandy could get down to the planet without this "Harmony Cannon" (Oh, these pony creatures clearly loved irony) taking shots at them, they might be able to help directly. He still didn’t know what had become of Tali or Mordin since Discord had shown him that footage of them confronted with the same sort of creature that was now attacking Garrus and his team, but he had to believe they were still alive.
“Okay... what can you do about that?”
“There is still time to tamper with the approval signal. I can lay a trap in the code to reset the security's friend/foe recognition and give Garrus another chance to avoid being labeled as ‘hostile.'”
Shepard huffed... That was one option.
“What was that about a software update?”
“Software Update: Main Archive is being quarantined,” EDI stated. “All entry points are being rewritten and blocked, fortifying the hardpoint.”
“The Main Archive!” Shepard nearly cursed. “I have to get in there! Someone is trying to help us and she said she was in the Main Archive... Where is it?”
“Location: Canterlot Castle, Library Tower, Restricted Area,” EDI explained. “The Primary and Tertiary Governing Intelligences are constructing what will physically translate to barriers, walls, traps, and multiple other obstructions around the Main Archive. It seems they are aware that it is now among your objectives.”
“Wait... You said the Primary and Tertiary Governing Intelligences...” Shepard’s eyes widened as he came to a realization. “Can you tell who's inside the Main Archive?”
“Yes... Intel indicates that hardpoint currently contains all processes belonging to the Secondary Governing Intelligence. Designation: Princess Luna.”
Luna...
The voice that had led him to the bunker... had countermanded Celestia’s initial attempt to kill him and goaded Discord into agreeing with her and letting him into the system.
One of the programs responsible for running this place had done everything it could to help him... Why?
“What can you do about it?”
“The obstructions are being hastily erected... I should be able to slip in a backdoor access that will allow you to bypass them and get you directly into the Main Archive.”
“And to the Princess...” Shepard looked up and to the box that showed the still-streaming video of Garrus, Thane and Legion holding their own.
Don’t let emotion or curiosity get the better of you... he berated himself.
“Okay... I’m going to regret asking this, I’m sure, but what’s the last one...? A system warning?”
“Epona Systems Emergency Warning: Viral contamination detected. Point of origin: Creative Development Server: Discordia. Corresponding location in Equestria: Canterlot Gardens.”
Shepard cocked his head.
“Discord wrote a computer virus? What for?”
“The virus appears to be limited in scope; intended to infect specific neural patterns in the system.”
“What, he’s trying to use it to flush out the humans in the system?” Shepard asked.
“No... It is tailored towards ponies.” EDI’s eyes widened slightly. “Six specific ponies.”
Shepard’s matched her expression before bringing a hoof to his face.
“He’s going after Twilight and her friends...”
“The virus is designed to disrupt their neural patterns and cause the Equestria System to invalidate their status as administrators. It is unknown to what degree this will affect their cognitive or virtual attributes in the Equestria Server. From what I have seen, however, these six possess specialized knowledge and abilities that will be damaged or negated when the virus reaches their current locations.”
“Isn’t there a system to counteract something like that?” Shepard demanded.
“Yes, but its administrator is currently being quarantined in the Main Archive and the Primary Governing Intelligence is either unaware of Discord’s ploy, or unwilling to stop it.”
Shepard sighed.
“They stop Twilight and the others from helping us and we’re on our own...” he stated dejectedly. “Can you do anything about it?”
“Yes... I can enact a full system sweep to clean the virus from the Equestria Servers. It will not even be difficult. The means to do so is available, there is simply no one to implement it with Luna indisposed as she is. However, once the virus takes root in the Administrators' neural patterns, there is no guarantee that the anti-viral systems will work at all.”
Shepard felt a growl escape his throat.
This wasn’t a choice; it was torture.
Leave his best friend in the real world to possibly die... Have the only thing that could explain what was going on and get him out of this place and back to the real world put beyond his reach...
Or let some underhanded virtual plague cripple or completely handicap the ponies that had come to help him and were still aiding him in spite of what his presence meant for their status quo.
And he could only prevent one of those things from happening.
No matter what choice he made... someone was going to lose.
Choices:
(Reset Lunar Platform Defenses)
(Enable Backdoor to Archive)
(Eliminate the Virus)
Stats
Page generated in 0.05 seconds
Total duration
1,116 users online
2,368,443 hits today, 2,571,732 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Sacrifices must be made, "Enable backdoor to Main Archive"
...Well, considering everything...
Release the anti virus.
Damn it.
...
Let's hope Normandy team will show just how badass they are.
"Enable backdoor to Main Archive"
Anti-Viral.
If the main 6 have some admin powers they could make it a lot easier to get to Luna.
Garrus seems to have a VERY combat capable team, if anyone here is going to get through this without help it's them.
Blimey, this is a tricky one.
Stop the virus.
Pinkie then might be able to use her fourth wall Admin powers to get the Archive, and if anyone can look after themselves, its Garrus.
Wow, not pulling any punches there, are you?
Logically, though, the backdoor to the main archive would be the best choice. Even if Discord's virus takes away Twilight's and the others administrator access, Luna can give it back (or just give them blanket administrator privileges in her name) and she could also tell Chrysalis to stand down
I don't know why... but I'm creeped out by creeperman (Garrus)
I couldn't even enter the main battery without flipping out...
GUYS WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT GARRUS AND TALI THEY WERE THE BEST COMBO IN MASS EFFECT
NOW IN ME2 IT'S MORDIN AND TALI
There is still a chance to save them if he can get to Luna, Back door
Woooo cyberpunk dat shit! Also I'm not voting. I just don't know.
Backdoor to Main Archive
Garrus, Thane, and Legion have all proven they can hold their own against everything, and that was by themselves. Together, they can definitely do this. Enable backdoor to main archive.
To the main archive.
Save the squad mates, thats an order! I believe that saving his real friends should be more important than information or the ponies admin powers. Even though they have a fighting chance against the enemy doesnt mean that they can hold out against the enemy. I simply cannot let Thane, Legion and Garrus die in that way, save them for the sake of the galaxy!
Anti-Viral program
1097458
As EDI indicated, there is no guarentee that Luna can 'remove' the virus' effects once it reaches it's targets, which is something that Shepard needs to take into account.
Clear the virus. The Mane six will probably be useful. And Garrus is a badass. He'll be fine.
...It's a difficult decision. Were I Shepard, I'd either reset the IFF or perform antivirals.
I'd say the antivirals. If there's anyone that can hold out for a while against a large amount of enemies, it's Garrus, Thane, and Legion. And whatever these "administrator" powers are, it's fairly obvious that it's probably really going to come in handy for Shep to have 'em...
1097848
Ah. Guess I missed that... Still, a slim chance of removal is better than no chance.
Enable backdoor to Main Archive
Finally, a situation where there can be no true winner. Everyone always went with 'do the right thing' shtick.
Stop the Discordia virus. Garrus and co. can handle themselves, getting to Luna may take a bit longer but it still can be done, lose the admin powers and trouble will be drowning them in minutes.
anti-viral program
Antiviral Program
Anti Virus
Backdoor.
Why is the anti-virus the renegade option?
I vote anti-virus. This story is incredibly brilliant by the way. Excellent and imaginative use of both universes.
Viral sweep.
Garrus is a big turian, he can handle himself.
Anti-Virus. As has been repeatedly mentioned before, Garrus and the others are completely capable of handling themselves. The Mane 6's admin status seems far more pressing of an advantage than info from Luna.
Viral Sweep, I agree, Shepard as a small unit commander needs to trust that his fireteam leaders can handle things on their own.
Shepard himself is also a capable man, so he can risk the traps around Luna, and if Pinkie Pie can, she can arm him.
Viral Sweep makes a good amount of sense, he is protecting local assets that are helping him freely, he should take care of them. The Mane Six and him can then try their luck at getting through to Luna.
Crap... A difficult choice, but Garrus as Archangel held his own for at least a day against three different mercenary groups on Omega and it took a rocket to the face to briefly defeat him- due to the fact that Garrus was tired. Now, Garrus is pretty much at full strength. With him are two master snipers who have killed several foes in rapid succession, and Legion has the best damn sniper rifle of the three. Garrus Vakerian, Thane Krios, and Legion aren't dying yet.
Luna could use the help, but having six powerful ponies on his side would make Shepard's chances stronger. I'm sorry, Luna... but I'm going with the counter-virus.
By the way, if this was a real DLC mission, I have to ask: During the Garrus and Tali segments, would you be playing as Garrus or Tali during those times?
Anti-Viral.
Better to have all the Admins
Viral Sweep.
Luna can wait.
Legion is basically a killing machine. Thane... I never used him, but his a badass. Garrus can hold his own, no problem. Together they form the Amazing Three. They wont die because of some tiny puny little changeling-bots.
The Admins are, right now, Shepard's biggest assets, and loosing them means his situation can get FUBAR really quick.
Oh and Discord can go incert a cactus up his cybernetic ass.
Go for the Anti-Virus.
Screw you man. The entire time I was like "bros before hoes" but then you had to bring up the virus. I'll leave archangel to hold out against everybody for a while. Wasn't the first time.
Anti virus
Anti viral
Engage Emergency Anti-Viral Protocol.
Anti-virus.
system admins AKA the mane 6, should be saved so initiate the emergency anti-viral protocol
Go for the anti-virus.
Garrus held off every merc on omega on his own
Thane is one of the deadliest assassins in the galaxy
Legion solo'd the derelict Reaper
I don't think changelings are going to be much of a problem for a team like that
Anti-virus. Also, didn't I have this story on my favorites?! Dammit.
I hate missing out on the good stuff. Anyway, it should be fixed now.
Honestly... That's a tough choice. But I'm going get rid of the Virus. It would be my immediate reaction in-game based on the information that was given to me. Shepard has a better chance at things if he has all the Administrators working with him, and there is the possibility that they can all get to Luna in time. The other option, ensuring Luna's safety, but essentially killing the Mane 6 if Luna can't do anything to restore them and get rid of the virus. If the Mane 6 and himself can't get there in time, they potentially lose Luna, but if he chooses to go for Luna, he runs a much larger risk of losing 6 civilians as opposed to one. Remember, the Mane 6 are Administrators, if he can get them all together they can do something about all this. So in short, he has a better chance at success with removing the virus from the systems.
Anti-Virus
Virus removal.
Anti-Virus
Dammit, this is a hard choice to make...
[Enable Emergency Anti-Viral Protocol.]
Garrus, Thane, and Legion can certainly hold out by themselves.
Plus, it'll be very useful to have 6 Admins on your side.
Emergency Anti-Viral Protocol.
Garrus, Thane and Legion are capable, and I'm sure that everyone will be able to get into the Archive. The Mane 6's Admin abilities are needed for a vocal release of Shepard from the Equestria program.
Also, this is so amazing, and Pinkie is best secret computer-savant future techie random cha-cha-er.
Anti-viral protocol.
Anti-Virus Program all the way. No way I could let the Mane Six get blocked out of this especially if were going for the long haul, all of them together could quite easily get to Luna and as for Garrus well it's his own fault in the first place but if anyone can handle it it should be him.
Oh Pinkie, I just knew she was gonna pull Cuban Pete when she pulled out the Maracas
Anti-viral. It only makes sense, They will most likely be required to solve this problem. Garrus and his team should be able to fend for themselves, but that doesn't matter if the world crumbles. Oh no, traps, surely they can get through some barriers.
I don't really feel that it is much of a choice and don't feel like any choice would truly hurt, figuring none of the choices have really had negative consequences.
Also surprised there was no tally for the votes on last chapter to see how thing stood.
Go anti-virus.
Garrus and company can handle themselves.
Luna can come later.
Oh, my aching heart.
wow, I really thought there was going to be more division on this chapter.
*watches the scale tilt heavily in favor of anti-virus* 
1102741 There isn't? I could have sworn I posted one. Hmmm I'll have to investigate that.
1102717 She finally found her maracas