Decision Point
Author's note: The dream sequence that originally opened chapter one was confusing and hard to follow, so I've rewritten it to be more engaging and understandable. It also adds some background information (which aids in understanding the current exchange), so depending on when you read the chapter, you may want to double-check the intro (up until the point where the alarm goes off). Also, apologies for the glacial slowness updating.
The moon sailed slowly across the velvet sky as Celestia sat on the balcony of her chambers. The land below Canterlot was bathed in its gentle silver light, with only a few scattered golden glows picking out denizens of the night. If she looked far enough, she could see the small cluster that was ponyville, and was fairly certain she could pick out the candle of a certain faithful student. Celestia laughed softly; that particular point of light was no sign of a fellow early riser. Celestia settled back and slowly savored a cup of tea as she took in the cool air and early morning quiet.
The stillness was broken by a gentle knocking and a familiar voice, muffled by the thick chamber doors. " 'Tia? Are you awake?"
Celestia looked up from her tea with a smile. "Come in, sis" she replied.
The princess of the night strode in as the door swung silently open. Her head drooped a bit, but her eyes were bright.
"You look tired." Celestia observed. "Busy night?"
"Verily." Luna gave a wan smile. "Fruitful but troublesome. I found our phantom visitors, and I may have caught one."
Celestia gave her a questioning look. "May have? Shouldn't you know for sure?"
Luna answered with a pained expression. "The matter took an unexpected turn. Do you remember the ambassadors?"
"Ambassadors? Of course I do." Celestia snorted. "Are you saying Sharptooth or one of the others is connected to this?"
"Sorry, I should have been more specific. I didn't mean one of the current ambassadors. Do you recall when we were reaching out to other realms across the veil? Back before I, well," Luna looked morosely at the floor, "lost myself." She said in a small voice.
Celestia stood and enfolded Luna tenderly with her wing. "That's behind us, sister. Do not dwell on it. Sit. Have some tea. You were talking of other worlds. "
Luna smiled wanly as she accepted a cup. "Yes. Do you recall the quarreling poets? The ones who looked rather like hairless diamond dogs, but with a flat face and no tail or claws. Creative and inventive, but prone to arguing over the littlest things."
"Ah yes, I recall them. We learned a great deal from each other, but they couldn't survive the ambient magic here. That's why we created the transfor- oh. So you used the transfer gestalt, then? But, if you're talking of ambassadors, what do you mean by saying you caught one? That's hardly diplomatic."
"Well, it had one of the keys to the gestalt, but I'm not certain it was an ambassador." Luna's ears drooped and she fidgeted with the cup in her hooves. "Time was of the essence, so I was not able to ask it properly, but from what it said, it did want to come."
"Luna." Celestia chided. " You know that's against the principals we created the gestalt for."
"Yes, I know." Luna said contritely. "But it did seem familiar with Equestria. And somepony has been watching us ever since I returned."
"That may be true, but it does not make it right." Celestia was silent for a moment, considering. "Still, what's done is done, and at worst we can always send it back. So where is it, then? We should be able to ask it directly, as I recall." Her eyes widened in alarm. "The gestalt's main anchor is at our old palace - is it lost in the Everfree? I can write Twilight and have her alert the Elements. "
Luna's expression fell further. "I'm afraid that won't be necessary, sister. Location is indeed the crux of the matter, but not as you think. The spell went awry - as far as I can tell, our otherworlder has not gone anywhere at all. When I engaged the gestalt, the transformation functioned flawlessly, but when it was to effect the shift, it abruptly collapsed." She grimaced. "I've spent the last few hours trying to trace the fault, but all I can tell is that it appears to be physically on the other side. I should be able to isolate the problem further, but it may not be possible to fix remotely. I have some ideas, but I'm afraid that we are at an impasse for the moment."
"That could be quite bad." Celestia looked pensive. "You said it has been transformed. I am concerned how it will fare, set apart from its kin."
"I am afraid I cannot say." Luna said, crestfallen. "When the shift failed, it drained all the energy from the spell and broke the connection to the key. Thanks to my conversation with it, I know the world to search, but the actual finding will still be difficult."
"I love these morning visits, Lulu, but you could have brought better news." Celestia sighed. "I'm glad that we have solved the mystery of our visitors, but it sounds like we've caused a good bit of trouble in the process."
Luna looked up resolutely. "Yes, I know. But I will set things right."
"I know you will." Celestia nuzzled her affectionately. "And you really are the best pony for the job. But don't be afraid to ask for help, either. Remember I will always support you, and I know I am not the only one. Don't take this all upon yourself out of a sense of obligation. What matters now is making sure everypony is safe."
"Thanks, Tia." Luna's eyes misted. "I can't tell you how much that means to me. I promise not to take any chances, but I also will not burden anypony else unless it proves to be necessary."
"That's all I ask." Celestia's answered with a relieved smile.
Silence fell once more, as the moon sank serenely towards the horizon.
I don’t know how long I just sat there on my bed lost in thought, but eventually I boiled my choice down to three elements. What was the risk, what was the gain, and how much control did I have over the outcome.
I thought back to the dream, and debated with myself. It seemed like Luna offered me passage to Equestria. Turning into a pony would reinforce that, except, obviously, I’m still here. Something might have gone wrong, but as far as I can tell, the offer was there. Do I want to go to Equestria? Well, yes. Even before I was a pony, that would have been a pretty easy choice. So Equestria is the ultimate goal.
Staying put might increase my odds if they send somepony after me, but I have no real idea what the chance of that is. At the same time, I know for a fact that I’m going to be missed at work, and the longer I wait here, the more ways that could go wrong. Slightly higher reward, but more risk and less control.
I’d be personally safer if I went public. I’m not sure I’d feel right introducing humanity to another planet, though, after the mess we’ve made out of this one. Besides just thinking about the publicity is unsettling. I shuddered. Bunch of fame vampires would drink me dry. Low risk, but I lose control, and what’s the point if I get stuck as a pony on Earth?
So that leaves running. I concluded. I’d risk getting caught, but meanwhile I’d be able to move. Most importantly, if and when I found something, I’d be the one deciding what to do with it. High risk, high reward, and I’d be the one calling the shots – if I can pull it off.
And that’s the real question, isn’t it? A small, treacherous corner of my mind murmured. Can you actually pull this off? Isn’t this just hubris? What do you know of roughing it? Do you even know the first place to start looking with all this freedom? You’re just afraid to deal with the personal fallout. You want to stop juggling and walk away. Let the balls fall where they may and someone else clean up the mess.
It's true, I reluctantly conceded, I am afraid of dealing with all the repercussions. It's not only that, though. This is the one option that most directly pursues my goal. Granted, it has issues, but so do the others. I sighed. This just feels like the right choice, even if it may not be for all the right reasons.
Having finally come to a decision, I now had a direction and a purpose. I looked at the clock, it was still just a little past ten. So much planning and prep, but no time to do it in. My stomach growled. Planning is going to have to wait a little longer.
I wandered into the kitchen of my tiny apartment. I was no longer tall enough to reach the cupboards, and I wasn’t about to try cooking anything without hands. Something simple, with no preparation. Fruit would be good, I mused, or vegetables. After all, I am a herbivore now. I tried to work up a brief pang of loss for meat, but the very thought no longer appealed. I had some lettuce, cucumbers and tomatoes in the fridge. I’d eat those first – the fruit would keep longer, and give me some rations if I took it with me. It also didn’t hurt that the vegetable crisper was at the bottom of the fridge.
Huh, pretty good, I considered. Not the best thing I've eaten, but definitely more flavorful than they used to be. I guess I should have expected it. Better vision, sharper hearing, why shouldn’t my taste buds get worked over as well? The veggies had taken on subtle flavors I hadn't noticed before, and were more satisfying.
I had to restrain myself from sampling the fruits I was planning to take with me. My willpower gave in elsewhere, however. On impulse, I went out to the balcony and sampled some flowers I had in covered pots. Well, I will be leaving anyhow, I rationalized as I nibbled a leaf. It would be simply cruel to just leave them here with no one to water them. At least this way, their juicy buds and tender sun-warmed leaves will not go unappreciated. It would make sense to sample a few more, as well – there may be differences between different plants of the same species. Plus, scientifically, a single sample from each plant may not be sufficient to draw strong conclusions; I should try to be rigorous after all. Oh, and, ah, I seem to be running out of plants, heh. Imagine that.
Right, planning! My mind refocused as I gazed over the denuded balcony. Well, at least I would no longer be distracted by hunger. I also had fewer concerns about provisioning in the wild – assuming I could get there. I trotted inside and lay down atop my bed once more. First things first, I need a goal. The whole point is to get to Equestria, and my best lead is the figurine, so I need to retrace my steps to that shrine. Unfortunately, I can’t exactly hop a train like I did before. After all, the purpose of running is to be able to move with more freedom, but I’m not going to have much luck if I get the countryside up in arms looking for me in the process. Just running won’t be enough. I’ve got to disappear completely, and give no one any clues as to what they’re actually looking for.
Getting out of Tokyo unnoticed would be a tough order. To minimize my exposure, I would have travel at night and hide during the day. Tokyo can be active surprisingly late, so I had a short window each night; probably just a couple hours between one and three in the morning - after the last train, but before early risers started stirring. I'd want to identify the shortest route available that still was studded with parks or other areas I could hole up in.
I dug out a map and realized I’d have to head almost directly away from my eventual goal. Mt. Fuji is to the southwest of Tokyo, but the only bridges to Odaiba that are suitable for low-key passage are to the northeast. The density also drops off fairly rapidly in that direction, and I recognized it was probably my shortest route to the countryside. I resigned myself to a long slow circle around the periphery once I got out of the city.
Now I had the rough outline of my plan, but I needed to flesh in the specifics, so I hoofed it back over to the computer. I sat down with Google maps for a while, and looked over the area I was considering. It could work. I can follow a couple of the major expressways - there are a few parks nearby, and it looks like there is a lot of vegetation planted along the sides. Those sound barriers could end up coming in handy, if the plantings still have enough leaves to hide me from passing cars. Google street view may not be perfect, but it's still pretty damn useful. Depending on how much ground I can cover in a night, it looks like it could take me five days to a week to just make it to something I'd consider rural. Another few days to make it to a proper forest. Once I do make it out that far, though, circling around the city will be a chore - its tendrils reach deep into the countryside. I guess I don't have much choice in the matter One mistake could screw everything up - better to spend the extra time.
Enough with the computer. Working it was a pain in the ass - literally. I'll save this info later. I took another look at the clock – still somewhat early in the afternoon. Now that I have some semblance of a plan, time to think gear. What do I need, what do I have, and what can I actually take?
One of the often overlooked benefits of living in Tokyo is that the looming threat of a city-shattering earthquake does, at least, encourage a bit more disaster preparedness than most places. In my case, that meant I already had my emergency bag packed. I grabbed the straps in my teeth, drug it out from under my bed and looked it over. It's longer than I am now – that's not going to work. I can take the day pack, though, if I repack judiciously. Passport? Hmm. I'm not sure it'd actually do me any good, and it might be suspicious if it was gone. I'll have my gaijin card, so probably best to leave the passport. I'll grab my emergency cash reserve, though. Leatherman? I can't use it yet, but maybe eventually. Take. Flashlight? Take. First aid kit? hard to use, but important if I need it. Take. Clothes? Ha! Lea– Hmm. Wait. I'm not actually sure if this transformation is permanent. It'd suck if I was out on the road and then turned back without a stitch to wear - especially in the middle of winter. Damn. I suppose taking a few would be prudent. Food? Let's see how much room I have at the end. Pen and paper? Take.
That covered the key items from my kit, so I looked around the rest of my room.
Toiletries? Well, I either can't use them or don't need them. Leave. Camera? I'd never forgive myself if I made it Equestria and didn't take pictures. Take. Laptop? Much as I want it, it's too heavy and might be missed. Leave. Towel? I hesitated. I don't really have room, but I can't violate such a fundamental law. I contemplated my small travel towel. I'll try. Phone charger? Take, though I doubt I'll find outlets very often. I wish I had one of those neat solar ones. Still, occasional electronics is better than none. How am I for money? Let's see... between my cash reserve and my wallet, I've got about 46,000 yen. That should last me a while, considering I'll only be able to patronize vending machines. Thank goodness Japan is a cash society, so I've got a lot on hand – I can't leave a trail by hitting up ATMs. I need something for the cold as well, though not as much as I normally would. My winter jacket and windbreaker should do. That'll give me something to lay on at night, or wear if the weather gets bad. Still room for a couple bottles of water, and a few granola bars.
I assembled my day pack and tried it on. It had a tendency to shift on my back; I suspected proper saddlebags would've been much better, but it would have to suffice.
Back to the computer. I didn't have a printer, so I had to transfer my map data to the phone. This was, if anything, less convenient than trying to turn the alarm off. I did finally wise up a bit in using the phone, however. It turns out that using a stylus in your mouth is much more pleasant and effective than using your tongue. Who would have guessed? After this, I disabled wireless and email, set all connections to manual, and shut it off. Properly vanished folks don't use phones, after all, and I'd have to conserve the battery for the foreseeable future.
It was starting to get dark outside, and I looked at the clock again - a quarter past five. Food o'clock, time to polish off the crisper. I decided to be a bit more adventurous this time, and brought out the sandwich makings. No daffodils, but I can make do with lettuce, cheese and a few condiments. Pity I can't handle a knife to add onion or slice up my last tomato. The finished product was not my finest creation, but it tasted pretty good once I figured out how to go about eating it.
I still had time to kill before it was time to set out. I got up and started to pace the floor. What to do? I should probably clean. Make it look like I just disappeared hiking, and tidy up any traces of pony while I'm at it. I put away all the items scattered from my earlier packing, then checked the bed. Sure enough, I'd left some hair on the sheets. This won't do. Washing wasn't really practical, so I busted out the vacuum and attacked the bed, the floor and anywhere else I could think of. I then emptied out the vacuum into a new garbage bag. I guess I should finally get rid of these socks, too. They're amusing, but just not practical for hooves, I concluded, adding them and the boxer shorts as well. That's all the physical evidence I can think of. I could wipe my hard drive, too, but that'd be suspicious. There may be an embarrassing amount of MLP fan content, but at least there's nothing on there that directly screams 'I am now physically a pony.'
Still too early. I felt like I usually do at an airport; arrive early, rush through security and then loiter at the gate. Hurry up and wait. Might as well do what I always do, waste it on the internet. I spent the next several hours reviewing my planned route, doing various equine-related searches, and generally stuffing my head with as many potentially useful bits of knowledge I could find. Anything to keep my mind off what I was about to do.
Midnight came and went, it was a quarter to one - time for final prep. I went one last time to the balcony and looked out. Tokyo glimmered across the water, a slowly shifting mantle of color, like a landed galaxy. Closer by, the sidewalks were deserted and I could see only a few cars driving in the distance. The trains should be shut down, and most of the cars would be taxis, ferrying the stragglers home. I'd normally be feeling tired, but I was too hopped up on adrenaline. Is it going to be like this from now on? I wondered. I gave my room a last once-over, then worked my jacket on before stuffing the pockets with fruit. Everything is turned off and in its proper place, just like always. I've made my preparations and assembled my gear. Time to do this. 'He who hesitates is lost' and all that. Of course, they also say 'look before you leap'. I guess the ineffably wise don't have to concern themselves with self-contradiction.
Pack on my back, I nosed my way out, locking the door. The same door, the same quiet click of the lock as always, but this time it had a somber finality. I was headed out, but with a whimper, not a bang. At this time of night, everyone in the building should be asleep. I dropped the trash bag down the garbage chute. They'd collect it the day after tomorrow - I felt that would be soon enough. I risked the elevator to save time; a minor gamble, but it worked.
I was glad my building was old enough not to have any security cameras in the lobby. I'd have to be on the lookout for those from now on. The metal front doors swung out at my touch, and I stepped outside. I shivered, though I couldn't say if it was because of the temperature or the adrenaline. Tokyo is on the coast, so the ocean keeps the temperature moderate and it rarely snows. Still, between my winter jacket and new built-in coat, I hardly felt the cold.
I heard the lock click as the door closed behind me. The streetlights and buildings all around cast pools of light, but the sidewalk was deserted. Glancing up, the sky was slightly overcast, with the city-lit clouds concealing the moon and stars. There was a light breeze, and the only sound was its rustle through the dead grasses and the few leafy trees.
As I ventured forth, I discovered a new wrinkle of pony physiology. It turns out those big eyes are good for more than just melting hearts - they also take in a lot more light. While no night vision goggles, I found could see much better in the dark than I ever could before.
I initially walked east along the concrete paths of the apartment complex, set back a ways from the sidewalk and road proper with a channel of the bay to the side. All to soon the manicured grounds of the apartment complex ran out, and I approached a wide street with an elevated expressway running north and south on the far side. I turned to the north; this was the first of several channels I would have to cross, and I'd be at my most exposed on the bridges. Crossing the intersection, I walked up a winding bike ramp to the foot of the bridge. Fortunately, this bridge was a pedestrian walkway, separate from the adjacent surface street, which was in turn parallel to the expressway further down. Unfortunately, the thin railing of the bridge offered no concealment. I looked around and listened carefully; the streets were empty as far as I could see, and the only sounds were the quiet lapping of the waves on the abutments below and the rapid beating of my heart.
I screwed up my courage and stepped onto the bridge. Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. I thought nervously, my walk accelerating unconsciously. Soon I was running, but shortly after I had passed the midpoint, my ears swiveled behind me and I skidded to an abrupt stop. Car! I looked back in panic, and was relieved to see that it was on the expressway. Elevated as it was, I doubted the driver could see me, even if they looked. Still, I made myself into a small, still lump of fabric until it passed by. I reached the other side, and darted off the bridge, breathing rapidly.
I'd gone only a few hundred meters, and already my heart was pounding. Apparently a full-body refresh does not necessarily enhance athleticism. I stood there for a few moments, catching my breath. This side of the river sprouted a forest of mid-sized office buildings. A few scattered lights were on here and there in the upper floors, but even in Japan I doubted many salarymen would be at it during the small hours of Monday morning. Looking down the sidewalk, the road was to my right, buffered by a sparse hedge. Dead weeds were on my left; neither affording any significant concealment. I started off down the empty sidewalk.
Fortunately, the offices were set back a little ways from the road; walkways and manicured grounds buffering them from the street. I kept my eyes and ears open, but saw no security guards or other signs of life. I didn't see any cameras either, though I assumed there must've been a few. My only hope was there wouldn't be too many cameras focused on the road, and my passage would be either unnoticed, or ignored. There was precious little else moving at this time of night to attract the eye, but I had no choice but to walk and hope.
After a couple of blocks, the offices ended as an overpass loomed up ahead. The road to my right rose to meet it, while the corporate lawns abruptly sprouted a wrought-iron fence. This is hardly better than the bridge, I realized. All these fences. If anyone comes along, I have absolutely no place to go. I didn't have any choice, though, and at least no cars would be able to see me from the elevated onramp. The bottom of the overpass was another story, however. A lattice of steel beams blotted out the sky, held aloft by massive pillars of concrete. Chain link fences stood on all sides, and the main road once again ran alongside the sidewalk, the onramp no longer a shield. The space was dimly lit by a few streetlamps, their small pools of light picking out the underside of the beams and outlining the heavy chains, joints and shock absorbers that protect the structure against earthquakes.
My footsteps echoed, unnaturally loud and sharp in the sterile acoustics. Twice I stopped, thinking I'd heard something, but each time the fading echoes of my hoofsteps were replaced by only the hollow whisper of wind on concrete. The other side wasn't all that far - just a few tens of meters, but it seemed to take an incredibly long time. Looking ahead, however, I saw open fields on the far side, and picked up my pace.
I relaxed a bit as I reached the fields, expecting this, from my earlier virtual scouting. What I was not expecting, however, was yet another fence, though perhaps at this point I should have been. Nuts. And here I was looking forward to a bit of a break. Still fenced in, and these fields go on a long way. This new fence was a two section job, the upper two thirds chain link, with a thin panel of sheet metal at the bottom. I looked a bit closer, and saw the sheet metal was only held in by a few screws. Well, when all you have is a hammer... I picked a panel missing a couple screws and carefully backed up to it. I've gotten the hang of walking, but this is going to be a bit trickier. Bucking a sheet metal panel at 1AM was exactly as subtle as you'd expect, and the first time I overbalanced and landed on my face, to boot. Cripes. Not working as well as I'd hoped. It took two more bucks to get the hang of it, and then I was through. I thought I might have heard something again, but I wasn't sure, and I had no intention of sticking around to find out for certain.
Even dead, the grass on the other side was a nice change from concrete and asphalt, and I was glad to put some distance between myself and the road as I paralleled it. I wanted to stop and take my coat off; after the previous exertion, I could feel the sweat beginning to dampen my back. Unfortunately, I had no easy way to either remove the coat or carry it. I had to settle for taking a short break, and trying to get as much ventilation as possible before carrying on. The fields went on for a couple of blocks, though and the precaution of going through the fence turned out to be completely unnecessary. Even with the racket I made, the sidewalk was completely deserted the whole time.
The empty fields ended as the expressway came to another intersection, though this one was rather more complicated, with additional lanes arcing overhead. Not wanting to repeat my earlier performance at the fence, I backtracked until I found a panel that had already fallen off. Back on the sidewalk, I again walked the chain-link gauntlet to the overpass. This new overpass was much as the first, but I did my best to ignore my apprehensions, and slunk through as quickly and quietly as I could.
I emerged into an area of low slung retail and light industry. Warehouses, distributors, wholesalers; small cogs in the economic machinery that sprout cheap metal buildings wherever land costs trump customer traffic. I mused. Thankfully as deserted as it is boring.
A little further, and I came to another bridge. I had been expecting it to be a challenge like the first, but after all those fences, it barely fazed me.
The far side of the bridge was the most welcome sight of the night so far. The bank ahead was a riot of trees and other greenery. The path was set back from the road as it bordered against a sprawling park. With trees to my side, and some bushes between me and the road, I was finally able to walk comfortably. I was tempted to sample some of the greenery, but refrained. I've got to keep up the pace. There will be plenty of time for a rest and a snack when I get there.
Halfway through, the park was bisected by a small road. A footbridge arced above, but I ignored it to dart across the deserted road. On the other side, I reached a small plaza and stopped dead in my tracks, pawing the ground in irritation.
Ahead lay a choice between hedged paths, and somehow, these hedges were the last straw. Arrrgh! Will these walls never end? Concrete pilings, chain link fences, brick walls, iron bars and now hedges. It's like I'm a drop of water. As long as I went with the flow I never noticed the riverbed, but as soon as I try to move in a different direction, I encounter nothing but barriers. I don't know where the line is between guidance and control, but I can tell I'm on the wrong side of it.
I sighed and picked the one closest to the road, again keeping a paranoid watch on the path and road. This was not helped by the rustling of the trees around me. I may have been hemmed in again, but my luck held, and I was relieved to finally make it out of the park. A short walk and I reached the final bridge of the night.
I take it all back, the hedges and fences were great compared to this. I thought as I trudged along the gently arcing sidewalk. Any way I looked at it, this bridge was harrowing. The walkway was wide, straight, well-lit and bare. The guardrails bordered the road directly, offering no concealment whatsoever, and the expressway and feeder roads were all directly adjacent. Most importantly, however - it was long. The better part of a kilometer, judging by how long it had taken to reach the halfway point. There had been a couple of cars that came by on the expressway already, but I had crouched low against the railing, and huddled into a lump under my jacket. The wind was stronger here as well, plucking at my mane and running icy fingers through my coat. Hot as I was, I didn't mind much, and the heavy scent of the sea was refreshing. At the crest, I could finally see the lights of the Ferris wheel. At last, my goal was in sight.
Nearing the far end, I could see the path descend from the bridge on a spiral ramp. It was there that the odds caught up with me. I'd done my best to reduce the chance of any encounters, but given enough time, even the unlikely becomes inevitable.
I heard the bicycle before I saw it. Looking back, I could see the light from the lamp cresting the top. By now I was very near to the end, and broke into a run. I ran a ways down the spiral before huddling up against the inside wall, hoping the rider would cut wide and overlook me.
I could hear the bike come closer and closer, circling down from above, until suddenly it was on top of me, I heard a yell and- OUCH my tail! I cried out involuntarily at the unexpected pain, and my eyes flew wide just in time to see the bike slide down on its side, impacting the wall. Looking back, I realized the rider had lost traction on my tail. They never seemed to have this sort of problem on the show. I thought through the pain.
My attention was quickly drawn back to the scene before me, where the rider seemed stunned, but not badly hurt. Well, he was breathing, and I didn't see blood or joints bending the wrong way, at least. I can't stay. I realized. The less impression he has of me the better. As he shook his head groggily, I took off again down the ramp before he could regain his focus. Much as I wanted to, I couldn't afford to help. I couldn't even apologize.
Fortunately, I was practically at the park now, and one last footbridge to cross the expressway was just the final irritating hurdle of a long, arduous night. Murphy seemed content with his handiwork, however, and I passed over to the park without incident.
Entering the park was a huge relief. After kilometers of concrete and asphalt, it was nice to feel grass and dirt underhoof again. Despite the chill air, it felt somehow warmer here. That was a mixed blessing, though, given my exertion. The sky was dominated by the Ferris wheel, illuminated with green standby lights. Pretty and all, but it's bad enough trying to hide myself from the ground. Better to avoid having to hide from the air as well. I moved deeper into the park.
The park appeared well forested from the satellite photos, but the heavy summer tree canopy generally didn't translate into good, concealing thickets of brush in the winter. Fortunately there were enough different varieties of vegetation that there were bound to be a few that still had leaves.
My improved low light vision helped immensely, but I still had a very hard time gauging the daytime visibility in the dark of the night. Still, I finally found a thick stand of bushes that met my needs. I eased myself into the depths of the foliage, until I found a small hollow at the center. It was with some relief that I finally took off my jacket. My back was sodden with sweat, and it felt good to just stand there for a time, the steam roiling off of me. I'd have to be more careful - I didn't want to overheat or catch chill, and it was clear I wasn't familiar with my own limits anymore.
It was there in the dark shadows of the grove that it really began to sink in. As the adrenalin slowly drained away, my body cooled, my mind churned, and I reflected. I was adrift and alone. I had hurt others. In one day, the bedrock of my life had turned to sand. I chose to take a leap of faith, and now I was falling blind, with only the hope that someone, somepony would catch me.
Somehow, in the midst of all that chaos, I had been able to keep my cool. I had been the eye of my own hurricane; while there was planning and preparation to do, my thoughts were directed, focused. Collect. Analyze. Execute. No time, no need for second guesses. But here in the dark shadows, the weighty thoughts I'd been evading hit home with dreadful finality. My doubts reasserted themselves a hundredfold, and I could practically hear doors slamming and feel the heat as my bridges burned. How can I ever explain to my family and friends my cowardice in running away? My lack of faith in not confiding in them? That in my hour of need I chose to hurl myself off the precipice alone. I'm a terrible son, and a lousy friend.
I seldom cry. Not because of machismo, family influence or any such reason; just that few things ever struck quite deeply or accurately enough. I suppose I've always felt a bit out of step with the status quo - I've looked at the world from a different angle, not shared quite the same vision. It made it easy to tell myself things didn't matter, and if you don't care about the pain, you're not really hurt, right? But it's a short step from not caring about the ideas to discounting the people or events. To not spend the energy to honestly engage others, never finding those you are in step with, not working to bring out the positive traits, or being unable to respect in disagreement. It's seductively easy to skim through life, just skating the surface. Living as a splendidly independent hedgehog, bristling in emotional armor.
It turns out that such isolation only seems easy when it's voluntary. When life is forgiving and you are still reaping the benefits of belonging. When you can don or drop the mask and blend in as needed. I no longer had that luxury. When it really mattered, the choices became hard. I could no longer claim dispassion, and the strongest set of armor meant nothing to a blizzard. I can't keep making the same mistakes. I have to do better.
My throat grew tight, and my breath caught as the dam crumbled. When wordless tears finally fell, it felt like they'd go on forever. But even as I poured my heart out into the night, sleep crept up on silent feet and stole thought away.
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Ask and ye shall receive, though it'll be a while before I can do it again.
I do have a fairly detailed background worked out and a structure for the whole story - it's pretty cool in my head. Getting it out of my head has turned out to be a slow and arduous process, though. I have utmost respect for folks like Somber and Midnightshadow, who can consistently produce such epic pieces.
I'm glad you enjoyed the detail of the chapter. Wherever I can, I've actually gone and walked the route, though I take liberties as appropriate. Hopefully chapter 2 doesn't go too far overboard on description.
I love it. Completely engrossing.
Also, the obligatory: MOAR NAO!
Awesome! Keep up the good work.
Well, that was more than worth the wait. I don't know why, but it seemed to take so long to read (not that it's a bad thing at all). Nice intricate little details, I look forward to more in future chapters. It'll be interesting to see what happens when he inevitably meets a human (inevitable in my mind, at least). Have yourself a favourite and a moustache.
Much as I like this story, since 'Just Passing Through' blew up beyond my expectations, I haven't been able to devote the time to it. Given my limited writing time, it's unrealistic to try to juggle both, and I shouldn't try to pretend otherwise. So while I hope to return to it once my other project has concluded, for the moment, I have to be honest and mark this story as on hiatus.
HMMMM, INTERESTING.
I actually felt anxious for the protagonist. Great job
You know, I really, truly do hope you can get this story off of Hiatus and start writing. Because from the little bit you already wrote. I can tell this is gonna be an amazing story. Please don't disappoint. (That is if you don't get this story off of it's Hiatus :P)
2391684
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it; sorry it stopped on such a cliffhanger.
3006169
The story idea came to me as a complete plotline, so if I ever do find time to finish it, I know exactly where it'll be going. Right now, JPT sucks up my limited writing time, but if I ever finish it, I might be able to give this one a bit of love.
3007919
Okay, I've still got about 34 stories to catch up on. So hopefully that'll be enough time for you to get a chapter out :3
4873843
Be that as it may, I am still a child. Nothing but a child dare challenge you.
Bravery?
Or pure idiocy.
It is you to decide.
4873858
Yes, you have all the time in the world. Quite literally, so why not. Deem this mortal to wait.
4873876
Well with every being there is something pulling the strings, nothing is uninfluenced.
4873891
Thats what First said, and was wrong. We are watched over by all and yet by none but our own.
The dirt changes
The stone hardens
The sands shift
Nothing stays the same.
4873914
Yet he who controls you who controls them all.
A speeding glacier is infinitely faster than never.
EDIT:
In Second Beginning:
2012 this might have been, but history is always watched by those in the present.
Mmm... don't have those anymore, dear.
In Decision Point:
Mmm...
EDIT2:
残念ながら、私たちは日本語がわかりません。
言葉も文字も。