What is family? Is it blood, duty, maybe its the bonds we forge? These bonds are said to be stronger then steel yet more fragile then glass, when broken they weigh on the soul more then any one person can bare. This poses one last question, how much weight can the soul carry before its crashed and left to its own darkness.
Lost and alone he thinks there is nothing worth living for. He has lost so much in such a short time, he can't see the light at the end of this road but there are those that will help him.
Chapters (1)
What a weird combination of tags. Especially the Random + Tragedy combination makes me think of "Discord Wins" Bad Ends.
Are you sure either is appropriate? Random is for stories that are mostly silliness and shenanigans (typically comedic) and Tragedy implies the adventure/romance/life ends in failure.
The last sentence of your description seems to conflict with the Tragedy tag.
4812912
the tragedy tag is for some back-story later on, and i can see what you mean about the random ty for the help
4812931
Merely having a tragic backstory doesn't validate the Tragedy tag. The story has to be a tragedy to qualify.
Maybe you're mistaken about what a tragedy is. Look it up on Wikipedia.
4812951
it comes down to the fact that it is my story and what will happen in it will be seen in the future so please do not try to lecture me about trivial maters that are none of your concern. i will tag my own stories as i see fit and change them if i please or am forced by the moderators.
Dialogue was slightly sketchy, 'specially between the princesses and her subjects.
But, (ignoring the hospital trope) this actually sounds interesting.
Will follow.
My reviewing style for most things, which you would know if you saw my last, is that I review story's mostly on the potential they have. So far the story has a good air of mystery, which is very important. I want to read the next chapter. I have no idea what will happen and the questions are piling up.
Who is the stallion? Why has there never been a stallion before? Will Luna go to the next Grand Galloping Gala?
I guess we may never know. Or we will. It really depends on what you want us to know.
I may have to ask what you wrote this on though. I found/disagreed with some of the grammar in this, which could be easily fixed by checking a chapter after its completion, or even passing it to someone else for them to check. Multiple times I found myself saying "comma" out loud, which gave me a few odd looks on the train I can tell you.
From what I read, the spelling was good and whilst the overall pace was good, it did come across as a little rushed towards the end. In my personal opinion, a very good story will not worry about slowing down.
So, overall whilst I think it needs a little work just to iron out some kinks it has, this story has some good potential. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
TRANSMISSION OVER! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH *Smashes screen*
Ow