Bobobo-Bo Bo-Bobo: Of Ponies and Nose Hair

by Ravings1

Ch. 3: Threatened Lives

Chapter 3: Threatened Lives. They can threaten Don Patch and Jelly Jiggler all they want, but threaten Beauty or Twilight, and there'll be trouble!

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The gang continued their journey, now traveling through the forest. While Jelly Jiggler did try not to come in, he was forced to when Bobobo threw him like a spear. Now they were all on the dirt path, hoping to find something in this dreaded forest. However, Bobobo could not get his mind off of Cobalt. He had a Super Fist, that shouldn't have been possible, only beings from his world possessed Super Fists. And the way he acted while using it, it seemed so natural to him. This was something far bigger than some invasion.

'Bobobo,' The human suddenly heard something, he looked around, but saw nothing, the voice didn't belong to any of his friends. Then he heard it again. 'Don' bother looking for me, as a matter of fact, don't even call out for me. It won't do you any good.'

'Who is this?' Bobobo questioned in his mind, though he was not expecting a reply from the voice.

'Who am I? A member of the Soul Hunters, Pearl Sight. I'm here to ask a favor of you.' Bobobo scrunched his nose.

'What kind of favor?'

'Simple, really. All I ask is that you leave... now. This is none of your business to be in this world, fighting others battles.' Bobobo narrowed his eyes under his glasses. He couldn't just leave this world and left it to evil, especially when he made a promise to Twilight.

'Not gonna happen.'

'I thought you'd say that. So hear this instead, if you don't leave by sundown, I'll kill your pink haired friend,' Bobobo could feel a vein bulge in his head. How dare this Pearl make a threat towards Beauty.

'If you dare lay a hand, hoof, claw or whatever on her, I'll end you!'

'We'll see, remember, you have until sundown. I hope that you will make the right decision, and leave,' With that final statement, Pearl's voice was gone. Bobobo could feel his anger rising, his blood boiled, the Soul Hunters would pay for this, whether they hurt Beauty or not, they would feel his wrath for being such fiends.

"Guys, I think we should rest," Twilight suggested. "It's almost sundown, and it will be near impossible to see in the forest at night. Not only that, but that's when some of the more vile of creatures come out." Sure, she could light the area up with her horn, but dealing with the monsters that resided in here was a completely different story. Bobobo calmed down, not wanted to let them know what had happened with him just now.

"Sure. Don Patch, get some fire wood." Bobobo ordered Don.

"Yes sir!" Don saluted, suddenly wearing a soldier outfit as he headed into the forest.

"And Jelly, you be the bait."

"Yes si-wait what?!" Jelly asked, but before he could make any protest, Bobobo suddenly grabbed him, holding a robe he seemingly got from no where. He quickly tied Jelly Jiggler up, hanging him from a tree. Once he was done, Jelly started panicking, swinging from side to side in an attempt to get free. Suddenly, Don returned, carrying logs, sticks and twigs. He dropped them in the middle of the path in proration for a fire.

"Now its time to light it," Bobobo said. He grabbed Don Patch, tossing him onto the pile as he took a branch.

"That's not going to work! Why are you even trying it in the first place?!" Twilight questioned. However, Bobobo didn't listing he held Don's mouth open as he started rubbing the branch along his teeth, after a couple of minutes, Don Patch suddenly combusted, lighting the wood pile. He soon got up, screaming and running in circles from being on fire. Twilight just stood there, her eyes wide and mouth agape. 'These guys make Pinkie look tame!' She thought to herself.

Bobobo's afro then opened up, he reached inside it, pulling out a hose. Though everyone expected water to come out of it, (except Twilight, who was trying to figure out how there was even a water hose in his hair), instead, birds shot out, flying into Don. After the birds disappeared, Don Patch was laying on the ground, burnt to a crisp from the fire.

'... Scratch that, they make Discord look tame, very tame.' Twilight thought, these truly were insane creatures she had called.

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It had been a while now, and our crazy heroes were catching some Z's. Jelly Jiggler was still tied up, Beauty had fallen asleep against a tree, Twilight had curled up next to the fire, and Don Patch had simply fallen asleep on the ground, drooling. Bobobo, however, couldn't sleep, the threat was still on his mind, but it was past sundown, was this Pearl all bark and no bite? Or had they simply forgotten. Just as he was about to brush off the issue, there was a noise, the rustling of leaves, the sound echoed throughout the trees, so Bobobo was unable to locate the source.

Suddenly, an area in the forest lit up, as a pink and white burst of magic shot out from the trees, and headed straight for Beauty. Thinking quickly, Bobobo picked up the nearest thing, which was Don Patch. Before he was even fully awake to register what was happening, he was thrown in the direction of the magic. He intercepted it, screaming out in pain as he fell to the ground, passed out with pupiless eyes. The scream had woken up everyone with a start.

"Clever use of your 'friends' there, Bobobo," A voice called out from the area where the magic shot out from. Emerging from the forest was a mare, her coat was grey, she had a brown mane, combed to the left, she wore black glasses and her cutie mark was a pair of glasses with a pearl behind them.

"You're Pearl Sight, aren't you?" Bobobo asked with hostility.

"Why yes, I am," She responded, she seemed to have an emotionless expression on her face. "And it appears you didn't meet with my demands."

"I wasn't going to just leave this place to rot!"

"Hmph, fine then, I'll just take care of all of you." Pearl said, her horn lighting up. Bobobo then readied up himself, grabbing Jelly Jiggler off the tree and swinging him around like a pair of nunchucks. "Super Fist of Sight: Retna Lasers!" She yelled out, a pair of large eyes appearing behind her, shooting white lasers at Bobobo. The human used Jelly to destroy the laser, swinging him infront of himself. Once the attack was finished, Bobobo spun Jellly Jiggler around then throwing him at Pearl. Both of them screamed out in pain as they collided with eachother, the eyes disappearing.

"Ugh, the robot was right, you are insane, using your friends as weapons like that," Pearl said, picking herself up.

"Wait, didn't you compliment him earlier for using his friends as weapons?!" Beauty questioned.

"I don't always use them as weapons, like right now, go sick 'em Don Patch!" Bobobo yelled, pointing towards Pearl Sight. Don Patch, now in a dog costum, ran past him, barking like an actual dog.

"What is wrong with these things?" Pearl questioned, before shaking her head. "I'll question it later. Super Fist of Sight: Foresee the Future!" She announced. Don Patch had reached her and was now throwing punches left and right, but no matter how hard he tried to hit her, she just kept dodging like it was nothing. As he tried to go in for the kick, Pearl ducked, turning around and giving a powerful buck to Don, sending him falling back. Bobobo was the next to run in, stepping on Jelly in the process, producing a scream and tears from him.

"How dare you do that to Don Patch?!" Bobobo yelled out, however, Pearl simply smirked. As Bobobo tried to punch her, she just kept dodging.

"As long as I can see the future of your attack, your attacks are useless!" She said, turning around and bucking Bobobo in the stomach. "This is why you should have left, if the Royal Sisters failed to stop the Soul Hunters, what makes you, a simple human, believe that you can triumph where they have failed?" Pearl asked, facing the downed human. Twilight's eyes widened, had the Soul Hunters also defeated Luna and Celestia?

"You want to know?" Bobobo asked, getting back up to his feet. "It's because I'm no simple human, I am Bobobo! And I have defeated far tougher enemies, sure Don Patch and Jelly Jiggler helped a little, but I'm the one that did most of the work!"

"Yeah! What he said!" Don Patch and Jelly Jiggler said, both standing at Bobobo's side now.

"And just because you can see into the future, doesn't mean our attacks are useless, all it means is that we need to be less predictable, and we're good at doing that," Bobobo said with a smirk.

"We have to agree there," Twilight and Beauty deadpanned.

"And exactly how unpredictable can you even be?" Pearl asked.

"This unpredictable!" Bobobo yelled out. He, Don and Jelly all started throwing fruits and vegetables at her at an incredible rate, all yelling as they did so. Pearls eyes widened at the projectile edibles, moving too fast for her dodge. Each one that managed to hit her ricocheting off of her. Soon, the barrage ended, but just as Pearl looked up to see the three, a tree collided with her, with the three riding on it. "How's that for unpredictable?" Bobobo asked.

"You three belong in an asylum!" Pearl yelled out, still being pushed by the tree. As her trip ended, Pearl fell to the ground, rolling from the impact, she slowly picked herself up, looking back at the three, only to see them wearing sailor outfits and holding bazookas. Her eyes bulged out of her head in surprise, her glasses flying off her face.

"Fire at the target!" Bobobo shouted. Don and Jelly complied, firing their weapons at Pearl alongside Bobobo. After about a full minute of nonstop blasting fun, the three stopped. As the smoke cleared, Pearl was seen in a what looked like a six foot deep pit, made of the explosions, Pearl herself had burn marks and bruises from the three's attack.

"Don't you think you went a little overboard?!" Twilight questioned, her eyes bulging out of her head. Pearl slowly picked herself up, looking up from the crater at the three looking down at her.

"And that's not even the beginning of it," Bobobo said, Pearls eyes widening. "We can be far more crazy and unpredictable than that, and it all takes place in a special place. And that place is Bobobo World!" Bobobo yelled into the air, the world around shifting into a plain with multi colored flowers spread across the ground. A forest surrounded the plain, the sky was a pink gold color, and mountains could be seen off in the distance.

"B-Bobobo world? What is this?" Pearl asked, looking around.

"Like you just said, it's Bobobo World, a place that is under my control, and this is how we are going to defeat you,". Bobobo casually stated, picking his nose. Before Pearl could say anything else, she felt something grab the back of her head. She didn't have time to see who the offender was before she felt herself be pushed forward, her head being slammed into the ground.

"Welcome to Bobobo World! We're all going to have a great fun time here, you got that?!" A giant purple nose hair said. It had yellow eyebrows and a yellow mustache with an electric bolt design to it. It wore glasses similar to Bobobo's, except they needed in a spike like design. Between its eyebrows was the word 'KING'. It also had human hands, arms, legs and feet. Bobobo then started printing towards the nose hair, tears streaming down his face.

"King Nose Hair, it's you!" Bobobo wailed, King Nose Hair also ran towards the human, tears rolling down his cheeks as well.

"Bobobo! It's been far too long buddy!" As soon as the two got close to each other, Bobobo suddenly side kicked him, sending him flying into Don Patch and Jelly Jiggler, who both screamed out in pain. "That's going to leave a mark." King said casually, as if the attack hadn't hurt him at all. If you thought things were crazy before, just wait until you see this!

"King Nose Hair! You ran into us!" Don Patch yelled out, he and Jelly Jiggler holding Japanese fans, (or whatever those things are called). They both begun smacking the nose hair in the face rapidly, they then finished off with a punch to his face, sending him flying back.

"Reunions hurt!" King Nose Hair said, as he landed on the grass with a grunt. The two heard a whistle from Bobobo, turning around, they saw him dressed in a samurai outfit, holding a katana.

"Prepare yourselves for the duel!" He yelled out. Don Patch and Jelly Jiggler both appeared in samurai outfits as well.

"We are always prepared!" The two said. They then charged at each other, screaming at the top of their lungs as they did so.

"Wait, why am I in the middle of this?!" Pearl questioned, looking between Bobobo and Don Patch and Jelly Jiggler. As the two groups neared each other, Bobobo suddenly pulled out an orca out of nowhere, swinging the animal and hitting the three, causing their eyes to bulge out and for them to scream out in pain.

"Stop this fighting right now before I call the cops on you!" King called out, clapping his hands. However, Bobobo ran him over in a police car.

"Police brutality!" He proclaimed as he sped off, running into a tree and being flung out of the car. Suddenly, the ground begun to shake. Don Patch was now a huge robot, stomping around.

"I am Mecha Patch! I have come for your postcards!" He said in a robotic voice. Bobobo, Jelly Jiggler and King Nose Hair all raised rocket launchers at the mechanical beast.

"Destroy the robot!" The three yelled out, Jelly and King fired rockets at it, while Bobobo fired Pearl at the robot. Don and Pearl both screamed out in pain as the robot exploded, sending Don Patch and Pearl Sight falling the thee ground.

"Oh no! We have to make sure they have a soft landing!" Bobobo said. The three rushed to the area they were falling towards, setting up bear traps for them. The three then saluted as the two fell into the traps, both of them screaming out in pain as the traps bit down on them. "Here, why don't you two also enjoy the comfort?!" Bobobo yelled out as he kicked Jelly Jiggler and King Nose Hair into the traps. The four continued to scream as the traps attached to them, suddenly, the traps disappeared as the four were finally let go.

"Bobobo, I'm going to make you pay!" Pearl hissed under her breath.

"Here's your pay then!" Bobobo yelled, throwing gold bricks at the four, who all screamed out in pain again.

"Are you happy you got your pay now?!" Jelly cried out.

"No, not at all!" Pearl cried back. King Nose Hair was back onto his feet as he had some gold in his hands.

"With this much gold, we could buy all the chicken soup in the world!" He said with a huge smile and sparkles in his eyes. Don and Jelly also had sparkles in their eyes at the thought.

"Why would you buy such useless stuff like that with gold?!" Pearl questioned with her eyes bulging out of her head. Suddenly the sky darkened, the four looked up to see what was happening. Heading towards them, was an uncountable number of missiles. They all screamed out at the sight, panicking. The missiles then all landed, exploding and sending the four flying.

"You can't do that with gold!" Bobobo yelled out, having been riding a missile.

'I've suffered too much damage, both physically and mentally...' Pearl thought as she flew through the air. She landed on her head, her glasses breaking, then she rolled onto her back, passed out. Don, Jelly and King all landed on their heads as well, rolling onto their backs too, all passed out.

"Aw, I thought Bobobo World would last longer than that." Bobobo complained as the world around them faded away, along with King Nose Hair.

"Look they're back!" Beauty said.

"Where did they go in the first place?" Twilight questioned.

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"So, you failed to stop Bobobo and his band of misfits?" A figure asked.

"Yes, I am sorry, they were just too strong." Cobalt said, his eyes casted down in shame at his defeated.

"Well, that's too bad for you." Cobalt's head shot up as he looked at the figure with wide eyes.

"But... please, just give me a second chance, I promise, next time I'll-" He was unable to finish his statement as he was kicked in the jaw, being blown away by the impact.

"You don't deserve a second chance... and neither does your family." A light then flashed on, revealing two stallions and a mare, all passed out, Cobalt's siblings. His eyes widened as he saw them.

"No, please, do whatever you want to me, but please, leave them out of this!" Cobalt pleaded, tears starting to form in his eyes. However, the figure smirked.

"Say good-bye Cobalt." It said as it slowly made its way to the three. Tears started falling, Cobalt knew there was nothing he could do anymore.

"No... NOOOOO!" He cried out.

Author's Note:

Hey everyone, it's Ravings the Rabbid here.

Just a few things this time. First of all Pearl, people may be able to see this, Pearl is based off of Sonata from Turnabout Storm (bloody great story). And second, who is this dark figure that shows no mercy, even to its own? Find out soon enough.

Comments

[Valvatorez]

Oh god, this is kinda terrifying to imagine and urges me to go back and rewatch Bo-bobo.

[Lukethanuke]

"Whats this?! The writer of the show revealing that not everthing is as it seems! Could this be a hint of recering themes from the old series? Will we be seeing defeated enemys return as allys? And most importantly will anyone get this joke?! Stay tuned."