Stupid Doll was relaxing in the lounge room after helping out at Sweet Apple Acres. It was a cozy little den that defied logic by having a fireplace with no chimney, he simply chalked it up to 'magical tree castle' and left it at that. After regaining some of his strength from resting, he rose to go take a shower and wash off the sweat. He stopped when he saw Twilight standing in the doorway staring at him.
"Hey there, I just got back from the farm." Stupid shot a smile toward his sweetheart. "Is there anything I can do for you before I take a shower?"
"Yeah," Twilight cooed as she slowly trotted forward, "Lie back down on that chair."
Stupid frowned as Twilight pushed him back into the chair. Honestly, having sexy times with Twilight wasn't really something he was against. He did like the mare after all, there was just one really big problem when it came to that.
This was a T rated story. He's wasn't allowed to have any hanky panky while the camera was rolling.
Doll sighed, knowing he was going to have to sabotage this and probably end up sleeping on the couch simply because the viewer audience happened to chime in at an inconvenient time.
"Yeeeaaaah..." He groaned like a jock with an IQ of four while Twilight planted kisses along his neck. "Awww yeeeah baby guuurl..."
"Mmmmm?.." Twilight tried to moan sensually, feeling confused.
"Yeah guuuurl..." Stupid leaned in close to whisper in her ear. "Moan like I just gave you a cheeseburger."
Twilight slowly raised her head and stoically stared at Stupid. With a gentle smile, she moaned.
No, not again. Two can play at this game.
"MMMMMmmmm..." She moaned again, "You taste so good..." She said, licking his chest."
"Awwww yeeeaaah," Stupid stupidly said, "I'm about to Mc.Double that pleasure guuuurl..."
Twilight leaned in murmured under her breath, "Make me your clown Burger King..."
Stupid snorted, and pushed Twilight off him as he rolled off the couch, trying is hardest to contain laughter, and failing.
"Are you done?" Twilight said sweetly, "because you're not getting away this time."
"Look, we can't." He said, still chuckling.
"And why's that?"
"Because," he paused, looking at the fourth wall, "we're being watched."
"Watched," Twilight tried to find who he was looking at, "by who?"
"By uh..." Stupid stopped when he eyes landed on the window. "By Rainbow Dash."
Twilight turned and saw Rainbow Dash pressed up against the window, glaring at Twilight.
"Fine then..." Twilight climbed on top of Stupid again. "Let her watch."
"Are you serious?" Stupid glanced at her uneasily, "I can FEEL the hatred rolling off her..."
Stupid then spotted a small orange body hiding in the bushes behind Rainbow. Squinting, he realized it was Scootaloo glaring at him.
He then realized that despite the fact he was probably one of the craziest changelings alive, he was relatively normal compared to the ponies he surrounded himself with. That very thought made him break out in laughter as Twilight tried to kiss him.
"Stupid, I love you dearly," Twilight cooed, sounding like she was reminded herself more than him, "but I am trying to make something work here and you are fighting me every step of the way."
"I know Twilight, I know..." Stupid lovingly whispered as he stroke her mane, "but no matter how hard you try, failure is the only option."
Twilight's smile grew incredibly strained she harshly pressed her nose against his. "... What?"
"Sweetheart, the Creator himself is forbidding our special play time," he said slowly, "no matter how hard you search my dungeon, you're not gonna get my magic missile."
A single hair snapped out of place on Twilight's mane as her eye twitched. "Stupid, my love," she said through gritted teeth, "HUMOR me."
"As you wish," he sighed.
The two proceeded to awkwardly make out. Fortunately for them, the carpet in this room was soft, allowing them to take any position comfortably, and Stupid actually wanted this as badly as Twilight. The two started rolling around the room as they playfully fought for dominance.
Unfortunately for them, they rolled right into the magical fireplace.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The two screamed as they tried to put themselves out.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Rainbow and Scootaloo screamed as they pounded against the magically reenforced window.
"I heard a scream, is everythi-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Spike screamed as he started uncontrollably spewing fire out of panic.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Everypony, changeling, and dragon screamed as the room went up in flames.
Such is life in Ponyville when you live in a fanfic with the comedy and gore tags.
I got Bloodborne Monday and I can safely say this felt more like getting fucked in the ass than the first two bosses combined.
And much like Bloodborne, I want more.
Someone forgot the chocolate fireguard.
Okay this was actually pretty fun
All this needed was Pinkie showing up for some reason.
I almost fell out of my chair at that Magic Missile line... I'm definitely gonna have to use that on the wife some time. It'll be hilarious.
Ah. And here I thought I was going for to avoid any April fools shenanigans. How silly of me.
That said, I lol'd. Well done mate, and I hope you break through you'd block.
5809309 But, but, but but... April Fools!
All will bow down to the April Fools Jesus!
5809405 thanks for pointing that typo out now let me laugh even harder!
5809309
5809382
YAY HAPPY APRIL FOOLS PEOPLE LET US ENJOY THIS DAY I PLAN TO USE ALL 500 OF MY WATER BALLOONS TODAY!!!!!
NOW HERES SOME ENTERTAINMENT FOR YOU!
Please post this on at least one story to share this magnificent day with other Brony's
5809289 I ATTACK THE DARKNESS
i.imgur.com/cP0QpdH.jpg
5809705
The Darkness counters. Roll for damage.
5810178 Critical hit, you are devoured by the dread gazebo.
I laughed... That is all.
Well, shit. I'm a cockblocker.
There was a whole series of bad clop fics like this, where a human tried boinking ponies and other things in Equestria and ended up horribly mangled in one way or another every single time.
It was hilarious.
5809670 EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *pounces on you and hugz you, and you get diabeedus*
Just... PERFECT!
Glad it didn't get to full-on clop.
5812908 I really want to read whatever fic you're talking about. It sounds amazing!
Y'know, you COULD write sexytimes by linking to an outside story...
Lmao! Awesome chapter! I accidentally hit my head on the shelf behind me laughing @.@;
Well... okay then. Does it need money?
Hehehehe...
5809705
5810178
5810254
I roll for quality of life.
2, you are paralyzed from the neck down.
Rolling to see how I feel about that.
18, you're pretty okay with your life situation.
5809405
Things were never the same after that day.
Actually, they were pretty much the same, Spike just complained a lot more.
5812510
Well, when you think about it, who's really at fault here? You, the reader, for witnessing something shown to you, or the person who had control of the audience's view and chose to show you that particular moment?
5815419 Authors: The true villains of the story.
5815408
new2.fjcdn.com/comments/5353579+_6c85f90806639f9d000a54495674a88f.jpg
5815408
I roll for initiative.
Now, I am going to fill your man cavern with my estus flask.
Fuck! I'm my lifetime, I will never have enough mana to cast magic missile!
5809405
5815415
I'd just say "Suck it up, at least the wound was cauterised!"
Sexy hayburger time!
Too bad. I think Twi was looking forward to her... happy meal.
But seriously, I love this! XD
Well, if they're going to cook themselves into burgers, I'll take two orders of number 42, three of stupid 8, and some fries.
5817705 Gurrl, you a void walker? ill plant my radiance in your void
#D&Dinthecomments
5823228
creepy.
5820878
I would like to note:
No, not again. Twilight thought.
This is not the first time he's done this.
Well Celly was probably justified in this chapter.
5810155
Oh my gosh, someone needs to do a fic of Changelings pollinating Sunflowers. Because why the heck not and they're the only insects big enough.
5831465
That's terrifying.
Please go away while this brain bleach settles.
5823228 Is that a Warframe reference?
5822407 You should probs throw a scootaloo eight piece chicken nugget surprise in there.
5831776
How is it terrifying? Aside from picturing walking down the street one day and you see a horse-bug the size of a large dog rubbing its face on the head of a sunflower and then doing the same on the one next to it like a cat rubbing its own head on a bag of catnip?
I find the image kind of funny, honestly.
5833187
ehhhh, i don't know. It seems like the kind of thing that would make me sit in my bedroom reevaluating my life. Like why my brain keeps prodding me to plop that idea into my prompt folder.
5814348
Hmm. Is there any loophole for that?
5833268
5833187
Stupid?
Yes Fluttershy?
I have a favor to ask, if you don't mind, that is...
Yes Fluttershy?
Well, it's a lot of trouble and I know your busy, but um...
sigh
Yes Fluttershy?
Could you put on this bee costume and rub your face into flowers all day long?
Ignoring why you would want me to do that, where did you get that suit?
Oh, I have outfits of all of my little wonderful friends!
Where did you get all those suits?
I ran out of places to bury animals.
So you just carve up their dead bodies and make suits of them?
Yes. That reminds me, when is your expiration date?
Living with Twilight? Any day now. Give me the suit.
5831789
no... its... its a destiny refrence bro.
not bad