• Member Since 13th May, 2012
  • offline last seen 6 days ago

Regidar


irresistible

E

There is a secret about her building Rarity never shared with anypony: there is a hidden room inside the Carousel Boutique.

She's kept it from everypony for a reason though.

Every mare deserves to have her secrets, after all.


Edited by Nahmala

Thanks to DWK for being my "Rarity Consultant" for this story.

Prompt for story acquired from here.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 93 )

I originally had this written for a 30 minute prompt in /mlp/'s fimfiction thread, but I ended up taking much longer on it, and this was born.

All in all, I'm glad I decided to elaborate with it.

Yay~! Now there's two of us who made a story for this prompt.
No, I am not shamelessly self-promoting my story, why would you say that?
I shall commence reading.

4716456 Excellent work. :raritycry:

Though shouldn't that room be in, like, Rarity's parents' house?

Also, you used the words "these days" a lot. Was there something that happened recently, "these days?"

4716695 your avatar fills with with joys I find nowhere else

Ow, man. That was sad. :fluttershysad:
Pretty well done, Regi. Pretty well done.


4716697
Rarity would certainly want to keep those objects close to her. After all, if she doesn’t keep the memories fresh and intact, she’d lose them.


4716698 :heart:

Now I have to explain why there tear stains on the paper I have to turn in. Thanks for that, Regidar!

DWK

I'm still mad that you made her cry, but I will forgive you this once. Don't do it again.

Decent fic. Although it didn't leave much to imagination, it was very well written and it had a very sobering tone to it.

That was okay. Life goes on. It's sad... yes, but I wasn't really able to connect with Rarity and feel it, I suppose. The narrative felt disconnected from her emotions. Maybe a little more buildup, or a hinting of it. I suppose maybe the telling in it...

Still, not bad at all for an expanded 30 minute prompt.

Edit: Upon further thought, I suppose it's because it's rather explicit that it's been a long time. If it were more recent, and it weren't clear that Rarity has been moving on with her life, then I think it would be a harder hitter, emotionally.

I lost my sister a few years ago, and I still keep some of her stuff in my room, so this story hit me pretty hard. Well done.

Yeah, this hits close to home. I lost a friend to cancer February 7th, 2007. Every time the anniversary rolls around, I feel the same way Rarity did in this story. Not bad at all. It gets an upvote.

I wasn't made to feel these feels. Bravo sir or madam. though I can't help wondering who was the bloke who fathered this foal. even though it is not important, imaginations tend to go crazy. perhaps they fell apart after the death? or rather a one time thing for he was never to be seen again?

tl;Dr : good story.

4717070 I had an excerpt about the father written that I deleted, but it went something like

"She had never known the father, so she expected that he didn't know. Sometimes it made her seethe that he had never felt pain like she did, but other times she felt only pity for him. He would know not her smile or see those beautiful, sparkling eyes."


4716890
4717001 I'm sorry for your respective losses. :fluttershysad: I hope you managed some solace in the story.

This almost strikes me as being a tiny bit creepy, and at one point I wondered if she had kept the filly's tiny body in a small casket as an extra reminder.
Then I started crying because this story is sad enough already. :fluttercry:

Nice. Didn't make me cry though. :rainbowwild:

It's spelled "Carousel". Carousal is something else entirely.

Sweet Mother of Luna... talk about feels! :fluttercry:
This is a masterpiece. Very few have the ability to put so much emotion into so few words.
An outstanding job, my friend.

Excellent work

4717318
I said that too. Let's hope he takes notice.

4717318 Well damn, goodgle docs screwed me again

I apologize in advance if my comment somehow comes across as rude or disrespectful in any way.
That is not my intent...

So, if we are to believe that the Mane Cast are young adults, and the tragedy happened seven years ago... Dang Rarity, just how young were you?

4717792 my head canon is that she is 25

For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn.

The problem with stories like this is that they've been told a lot. And they're mostly all the same. This one follows the model to a T.

It isn't that these stories are bad, so much as that it is the same story, so it never really feels very original, and this doesn't actually do anything new with the idea. There isn't any point to the story, it is just a fairly transparent attempt at tugging at the heartstrings of the reader.

This is so sad.

DWK

4717802
In my heacanon, Rarity is the second-oldest of the mane 6, somewhere in her early 30's. She's a successful small business owner who's perfected her craft to the point of maintaining some pretty high-profile clientele, such as Sapphire Shores. The only pony I see as being older that her is AJ. In my mind, upon our first encounter with Rarity (i.e. the pilot) she was in her mid or late 20's, probably between 25-28, something like that. I haven't met many successful business owners who are younger than that, so I consider it the minimum age for owning a place like Carousel Boutique. We know from the comics that ponies do in fact go to high school, so the absolute earliest she could've started off was at the age of 18. It takes a while to build a business from the ground up. In the pilot, the apple family was all there to greet Twilight, and we learned in Applebuck Season that they were there for the Apple Family Reunion, which only happens every 100 moons, according to Granny Smith (In Apple Family Reunion). I take a "moon" to count as either a full moon or a new moon. With that in mind, there are 24 moons in a year, so 100 moons would be just over 4 years, and so that would be the period of time between the pilot and Apple Family Reunion. Considering that it's been about 4 years since mlp:fim started, I don't consider it all that outlandish. I'm just going off of pure headcanon at this point, but If the time between the pilot and the latter half of season 3 is roughly 4 years, then if we continue with the same time scale, the end of season 4 would be somewhere between six months to a year later, making the total time elapsed around 5 years, give or take. Thus, in concurrence with my initial estimate of Rarity being 25-28, she is currently somewhere between the ages of 30 and 33.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to connect and feel anything. It's not that I'm a heartless beeyatch or anything, but... eh, I haven't had kids yet in the first place :applejackconfused:

I also plan to keep it like that for a while.


Though, I'm surprised to find that you write things, on top of commenting frequently. :trollestia:
This was definitely good quality stuff, but again, the issue was on my end. Couldn't just relate.

Good job doe. :twilightsmile:

4717945
Ahh, I see you have posted a video by best band. Nickleback writes music for when you enter heaven.

Comment posted by Dan deleted Jul 19th, 2014

4717945 This is the chapter reference:
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFrp5Jrbpzk]

Good direction of the fic, and fairly impressive for 30 minutes. I would however, make 2 points.
Firstly:

The whole town was a shaken bottle of champagne, and she did not know how long the cork would hold. It had for seven years so far, but...

I found this quite a jarring analogy. Isn't champagne typically quite festive?
Secondly:
I get that Rarity is acknowledging the death of her sister, but how? She seems to be going down, having a look around, and all of a sudden, 6 hours or something have flown by. I expected some kind of prayer or ritual or something, rather than just having a look-see at stuff she obviously remembers quite clearly.

4718521 most drinks that explode when shaken are not depressing, so I chose the only alcoholic one I knew

also, it is the death of her daughter
when someone goes through something like that, they have different ways of coping
hers was a reminder, and a way to process that reminder

4718531
Oooh, woopsie. I can't believe I mixed the two up, my apologies.

For a moment, I thought this was going to be in refrence/parody of The Empty Room (the one where Twilight is Celestia's daughter, and Trixie gets eaten in the 2nd-ish chapter).

4716697 I can't see why the room would be in Rarity's parents' house - the story is about Rarity's own lost child.

You are one morose motherfucker reg and i freaking love you for it.
great stuff as usual.

4718636 That sounds rather arousing, is the writing any good?


4719573 :heart:

4720180 Uh, it's not a clopfic.

And the April Fools chapter is they're all playing a D&D-style board game, so yes.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/53/the-empty-room (technically done, but being re-written for editing and I think canon adaptation).

4720194 Arousal isn't always sexual
perhaps my curiosity was around
you'd do best to leave your mind out of the gutter! :rainbowwild:

4720204 In this fandom?!

:pinkiegasp:
That left just short of a million questions unanswered, which only added to its poignant tone. Well done.

at one of tne of the few calendars

Get a proofreader.

4723914 It's one error that was missed, easily fixable
I'm sorry a misplaced letter demolished any hope you had for the story

Oh, I do wish you would continue this!

4717974
I like your logic, but if I remember correctly, according to a line Celestia says in "Magical Mystery Cure," the events from the beginning of season one to the end of season three canonically take place within the span of ONE year. Again, that's only if I'm remembering it correctly...

4724907 Where do we go from here?

4724963 Honestly, I would imagine, after some pushing, Rarity breaks and tells Sweetie about her sister (or is it her daughter? I thought it to be her daughter).

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