The Price of Failure

by Humanity

Chapter 8

It’s been a long day. I mean a really long day. Just… Well, I’m sure Rainbow Dash already wrote down what happened with the fillies. I just sat there with Granny Smith while sipping that hot cider. Along with the clicking of the clock on the wall, all I heard was the sound of the rain out the door.

She just rocked back and forth in her chair, although it was kind of hard to notice. After a while, I just looked down at my reflection on the surface of the cider in my glass. I could still see the bandage over my eye. I definitely got what I had coming with that…

“Got somethin’ on yer mind, Applejack?” Granny Smith asked while I just sat there all quiet like. I guess she had every right to be worried. I hadn’t felt that torn up inside since back when we lost Ma and Pa.

It took me a while, but I finally managed to force out some words without even looking at her. “The last thing I ever said to ‘im was that I always hated him…”

She just looked at me for a minute. That familiar lazy stare. “Y’all didn’t really mean that, did ya?”

“Of course I didn’t, Granny! But I was stuck under some sorta corruption by that Discord jerk! And I promised I wouldn’t fall for his tricks again!” I barked out like Winona does to stampeding sheep. I really didn’t mean to, but… I was just so mad at myself. I then just looked down at myself in my glass again. “And he died…not knowin’ that I wasn’t myself. He died thinkin’ I really did hate ‘im… And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for that…”

Granny Smith just shook her head. “Applejack… I’ve heard some real heartbreakin’ stories in my years, but that’s just one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard of. And I wish I could help ya. But just remember this, youngin’. He probably still loved ya in the end. I’ve seen that fella ‘round before and he didn’t seem like the type ta leave his friends that easily. I’m sure even if ya didn’t tell ‘im, he’s lookin’ down at ya right now.”

If only she knew… “Granny… You don’t know how right ya are… When we found ‘im, he had drawn out our cutie marks in his own blood… I don’t know if I should feel more ashamed or honored he did that…”

“He did that, huh…? And yer cutie mark was one of ‘em?” I only nodded. I’ll never forget those pictures of red… “Well… I know I’d feel honored if a good friend did that for me in his last minutes. He must’ve really loved you girls.”

“He did, Granny… I know he did…” I felt the tears coming again. It just hurt… Knowing you were on the mind of someone important to you right up to the end… Even if you had a hoof in his death. I don’t even know how to put into words how I felt right there. But before I could say anything else, I saw someone look at me from my left. Right next to my head. My big brother. “Big Macintosh…?”

“I heard, AJ…” He said really quietly. Even more quietly than he normally talks. I could tell that he was trying to hold back tears. He might be quiet, but Big Macintosh is a pretty emotional guy.

I really couldn’t say much. I looked at him while my vision got a might blurred. “So… You know?”

He gently held me in a warm brotherly hug while I did the same. I felt a tear fall on my back. “Eyup…”

With all that rain, it was too much trouble to do any harvesting for the day. We all stayed indoors. In took a few hours, but the Cutie Mark Crusaders eventually came back downstairs. Well, all of them except for Apple Bloom. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo didn’t even look at me before they ran out the door. I reckon they were just going home. I didn’t see Apple Bloom again until after dark.

I was about ready to turn in for the night, but I couldn’t stop worrying about my little sister. I peeked in on her in her bedroom. It was quiet. I was probably the only one still up. At least until I saw her look my way. She looked hurt. Almost like she had been crying. “Whaddya want, sis…?”

I felt myself sigh. I could see it in her eyes. “I’m just checkin’ on you. Ya had me worried by stayin’ cooped up in yer room all day.”

I stood right next to her bed. Apple Bloom was having a hard time looking at me. “I’m fine… Just havin’ trouble sleepin’ tonight.”

“Apple Bloom… I’m sorry. I was just bein’ honest when I told ya that.” I knew the news of James’ death was the trouble. She and the other girls didn’t take it very well, especially after I showed them the proof.

“Yeah? Well…I still think yer lyin’…” She was trying really hard to not believe he could be gone. And I don’t blame her.

I gently nuzzled her cheek to show I was there for her. It ain’t easy to lose someone, especially when you’re just a kid. “Believe me, lil’ sis. I wish I was lyin’ too. I wish this wasn’t happenin’…”

She didn’t say anything for a minute, so I tried to break the ice. “Do ya miss him?”

“Uh huh… But he’s…” She then looked up at me as tears started flowing down her cheeks. “He’s not really… He’s gonna be home soon, right?”

I couldn’t lie to her about that. I gently rubbed her little head, her bow being on her nightstand on the other side of her bed. “Apple Bloom… It’s like that lil’ slip of paper said. You’ll have the chance to say goodbye in one week.”

“Yer lyin’ again! That wasn’t really a…” She stood up in bed, looking like she was about to have a breakdown. She was trying really hard to not believe what I said. But she knows I’m not the lying type either.

I placed my hoof on her shoulder. “Apple Bloom… It’s OK. Yer a big girl now. And even big girls have ta let out their feelin’s. It’s all right. Let it out. I promise I won’t think any less of ya.”

She choked. She shook her head as the tears really started pouring. She squinted her eyes shut before letting out a scream and falling into my arms. It broke my heart to see my little sister so hurt, but there was nothing I could do except give her a shoulder to cry on. The last time I ever saw her cry that hard was when she was still in diapers.

I couldn’t help crying a bit myself. It hurt to know what had happened, but I couldn’t even guess how little Apple Bloom was feeling to have lost a friend. “I know ya liked ‘im… He was always good to you fillies…”

I don’t know how long it took. She eventually sat down with tears and snot covering her face. While she kept sniffling, I passed her a handkerchief to blow her nose with. But even after that, she still couldn’t stop crying. “It’s not fair… It’s not fair…”

“No… It’s not fair. He didn’t deserve this…” I sat by her side, holding her against me. I wasn’t going anywhere until she was settled in for the night.

“I miss ‘im, Applejack… I don’t wanna believe he ain’t ever comin’ home…” She squealed while resting her head against me. “He got Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon ta stop bein’ jerks to us… He was the first Cutie Mark Crusader to get his cutie mark… I wanted ta get mine and show ‘im so he’d know we could get ours too…”

“And I know ya will someday, sis… When that day comes, you’ll tell ‘im at his grave, right?” I know it wasn’t easy to bring up the part about the grave. I don’t even know if he can still see us from…wherever he is now.

I felt her nod. But she then asked me something. “AJ… Could I…sleep with you tonight? I… I really don’t wanna be alone right now…”

I couldn’t say no to that. I could probably use a little company myself. “Sure thing, sis. Let’s go get settled in for the night.”

Little Apple Bloom is already out like a light next to me. I know it’s going to take a long time before she gets over this. I’m not entirely sure if I’ll ever get over it myself… But… James… If you’re out there. If you’re still watching us… Then… From the bottom of my heart… I’m sorry. I never hated you. I never even disliked you. You were always a friend to me since day 1. I just wish… I wish you knew that in the end… And I wish you knew how much all your other friends are going to miss you… Maybe someday…I’ll be able to say that to you in person.

Comments

[stjodan]

[Nauj]

I don't know why but I have a weird feeling. That something will happen in this story that will in turn go back to the main story. Maybe some sort of event will happen where time will rewrite. Or something along those lines. But I have a feeling something will happen and it will involve the rewriting of time. I don't know why but I am getting that odd feeling. Or if its just a standalone. Thats just as good.

[hs0003]

So I'm guessing the last chapter will be the funeral?

[Mad Library Scientist]

It'd be interesting if somehow, Ruby could be able to communicate with James, even if the eyes of those who are living might not be able to see him, perhaps the eyes of one who has already passed would be able to detect him?

[_The_Pawn]

5050592 I had this exact same thought about 4 chapters A.D.

[Humanity]

5050592 That's assuming his ghost decided to stick around.

[_The_Pawn]

5053507 Well, if the stories are to be believed, then they stick around because of unfinished business. Just sayin, but I believe he definitely has unfinished business. His final act was proof enough that he had something to be known.

[ADFX-NightRaven414]

5053507 Why not include that as a Halloween chapter to this story?