The Price of Failure

by Humanity

Chapter 4

What a wretched dream… It was all just a dream, was it not? I awoke beneath the covers of the plush bed I had been provided. But why was I within the palace? In Canterlot? No… It had to have been a dream. That mad laughter. And all that crimson fluid. It… No, I refused to accept it. I would have to confirm it before I could accept it as fact.

The halls were quiet. Maybe a guard or two here or there. But there was no sign of my dear friends. And certainly no sign of… In the dream… We went to the hospital. I cannot even recall who I passed along the way. Was I still partially asleep? But I did find it. Almost as if I was retracing footsteps I never made. Or had I made them?

I found myself standing in the lobby. It was a quiet yet gloomy day. I approached the receptionist’s desk. She looked up at me right away. “Hello. Can I help you?”

I prayed in my heart that I was mistaken. That nopony I knew had been admitted yesterday. And so… I brought myself to ask the fateful question. “Excuse me… I cannot seem to remember. Yesterday… Was a human man admitted to the ER?”

“A human? I must not have been on duty at the time. Let me check…” She began to flip through a stack of papers held to a clipboard concealed by part of the desk. “Human… Human… Ah, here it is. James, was it?”

“Yes! Is he… What room can I find him in?” So we did bring him to the hospital. Please… I was pleading deep within my soul for him to still live.

Once more, she turned her gaze back to the list of names that I could not see. “Room? Um… Oh, I’m sorry… I’m afraid his body has been moved to the morgue. Cause of death seems to be unclear… Main cause seems to be fatal blood loss, but it seems many other types of injuries may have contributed. The list includes…”

Her words did not reach me. My mind reeled. It was not a dream at all… It was a nightmare made real. I staggered out of the lobby and back into the streets. Everything was a blur. The tears… They clouded my vision. I know not where my hooves led me. It did not matter to me. My love… My prince… He was no more… And my hooves were stained with his blood. I loved him… Loved him far more than a friend should…and I threw him away to his death.

I thought I heard a voice call out to me. So familiar and distant… I paid it no heed, though soon I felt something upon my shoulder. My vision cleared just slightly with a single blink of my eyes to flush my tears away before more could cloud my vision once again. A dear friend of Canterlot. Fancy Pants. He greeted me with his kindly smile, though it immediately turned into a frown of concern. “Ah, now I have your atten… Why, Miss Rarity. Whatever seems to be the trouble? Such beauty should not be marred by tears.”

It was a struggle to speak. My throat constantly closed, forcing me to choke out quiet sobs between words. “I awoke… And I prayed that it was all a dream… A wretched nightmare I thought I would awaken from. But…I just visited the hospital to confirm my fears… And it was no dream… He’s gone, Fancy Pants… James is no more…and the blame falls to me…”

His reply was as I expected. A wide-eyed stare without saying a word as his monocle fell from his face. But while I bowed my head to allow the tears to fall, I heard a voice speak that I loathed hearing. A certain ‘prince’ of Canterlot. “Truly? You mean to say that ruffian has met with an untimely end?”

I felt such a burning wrath filling me, all but drowning my sorrow. I could scarcely make him out through the tears, but he stood nearby in the street. “I suppose it should not be surprising. It was bound to happen for someone who resided in such an unsanitary slum. But that’s what happens in the long run when one does not understand their place and struggles against the natural order.”

How dare he… To use me like a lowly servant was one thing, but this… Mocking the man who properly punished him a mere day after his demise? My blood has never boiled hotter than it did at that moment. “You would dare… Dare speak ill of him after all he has done for his friends… For me?!”

At the edge of my vision, I snatched up the nearest tool I could with levitation. A spear held by a guard on patrol. What became of the guard, I did not see. My blurred vision was focused exclusively on the wretched oaf before me as I marched towards him, spearhead aligned with his face. From what I remember, he turned as white as cotton and began to back away in a panic. “Whoa! You… What’re you doing?! Stand down! Guards! Uh… Guards, do something! Seize her!”

I shouted… I roared at him. Tears blinding me, but my hooves carrying me on while my spear never turned away. “How dare you… How dare you mock the man who ended Discord’s tyranny! You know not the suffering he endured during his final minutes! The betrayal he suffered! The madness that drove him over the brink!”

Seconds later, I had him pinned to the nearest wall in panic. The spear’s tip was aimed directly at his throat. Around me, I could feel and hear a crowd gathering. A few more spears were pointed right at me. But my wrath and sorrow drove me on. “You knew nothing of his love and gentleness! All the lives he had touched! I could run this through you right now and nopony in the world would mourn for you! Not a tear would be shed! And to the end, you would view yourself as being more than a man who held those most dear to his heart as he breathed his last breath! You are NOT his superior! You are not even his equal! He is… He…was…”

It was all I could endure. My wrath burned away until only the sorrow remained. I collapsed to my knees, the spear falling from my magical grasp. Why… Oh, James, why did it have to come to this?!

I heard a voice speak out as I heard the sounds of hooves against the stone street drawing near. “Excuse me, gentlemen. I’ll take care of this.” I felt somepony help me to my feet. I could not see. I felt so weak. I recognized the voice as that of Fancy Pants, though he spoke with a noticeably angry tone. “I think you have said quite enough, my lord. She is clearly in mourning. Either offer her your shoulder or hold your tongue.”

I felt myself being guided through the streets. And eventually, I felt a warm moist rag dabbing my face and eyes. I was seated at a café I frequent during my business trips to Canterlot. And Fancy Pants was seated across from me as his horn was coated by that billowing layer of gold. “Easy now. I can see that you have been through quite a great deal.”

Warm tea with plenty of lemon had been served to us, the tangy sweet scent reaching my nostrils. I drank eagerly, my tears having left me parched. My friend looked on in silence for a moment with a gaze of concern. “Are you going to be all right?”

Once my cup had been drunk dry, I let out a long sigh of relief. For the moment, my tears had ceased. “I don’t know… But for the moment, I don’t feel the urge to cry.”

He silently lifted his own cup of tea to his lips and lightly sipped from the edges. He seemed to scan me, as if searching me for weakness to determine if it would be wise to speak. “You spoke with such rage and passion towards the prince. If you feel comfortable talking about it… Sir James. Were you being sincere when you…?”

I suppose it was time to be truthful. There was no point in hiding the truth. My heart heavy with grief, I spoke the truth I did not want to believe. “I was… James is… He fell in battle against the dreaded Discord just yesterday… Only…it was I who goaded him into… I made a sacred vow to not allow Discord to weave his wiles onto me again for his sake, and yet I… I betrayed him… I saw him lying dead before me…”

Fancy Pants did not speak. He merely stared while looking quite disgruntled. After a moment more of silence, he finally offered a retort. “I am sorry to say I cannot comprehend much of what you speak, but… You have my sincerest condolences, Miss Rarity. I only met the man twice, but he was certainly a fine fellow. If I recall correctly the tidbits of information I overheard from the princesses when we occasionally crossed paths… Truly, Equestria has lost a dear friend… You were close to him, were you not?”

I spoke nothing more than the truth. “If things had been different, I would have gladly been his bride. That man…held my heart. He could see beauty in any mare. He preferred the natural beauty within me over the false enhancements I always used… You see these lashes? If I had not met him, they would likely still be false…”

“It sounds as if he cherished you greatly, Miss Rarity. I’m certain the two of you would have been quite happy together. A shame it was not meant to be… I would have loved to attend your wedding.” Fancy Pants said with a sympathetic smile. Bless his soul, that cordial stallion. “Although now… Is the funeral being planned at this time? It would be an honor to attend so I may give our friend a proper farewell.”

“You are most certainly invited…” It will be good to see such a renowned face when the day comes. Even if not a smile will show.

He managed to show a warm smile at my words. “Thank you. But for the moment… Is there anything I can do for you? It would not do to leave a lovely lady like you in tears. If there is anything that I can do to assist, please ask.”

Bless his soul, that Fancy Pants. Truly a marvel of Canterlot. “As much as it touches me that you would make such an offer, I… I’m sorry. I just wish to be left alone to my sorrow for now… Though I appreciate the tea. I truly do…”

He nodded in understanding, placing some bits upon the table. “I understand entirely. Then I shall leave you to your sorrow. I suppose I will be on my way then. And I will be certain to attend our friend’s funeral. Take care, Miss Rarity.”

I was alone again. The only company I had being the twisted images and sounds in my memory. I soon made my way back to the palace. But upon entering the main hall, a thought came to me. What had become of dear Fluttershy? I know my heart is fractured, but hers is likely in total shambles. I began to ask every guard I came across. And after the first three, one of them pointed me in the right direction.

I entered the garden much I would during the Grand Galloping Gala. So vibrant and filled with color and the soothing sound of songbirds tweeting within the treetops. For a time, I did not see her. I was too drained to even attempt to call out for her. But eventually, I found her. But… Oh, Fluttershy… If only there was something I could do…

She was resting before a tiny pond. Her head was angled down, directing her gaze at the surface. But… Her eyes. So empty. So…lifeless. And her body. She seldom even blinked. Butterflies fluttered around her. Many even perched upon her utterly still body. From a distance, one could assume she was being as still as possible to become one with nature she adores so much. But I could see it. Her soul was fractured. I was even beginning to wonder if she was looking at the fish that swam just under the surface. I truly do believe that…rather than them, she was gazing at her own reflection in deep self loathing.

I cannot continue writing. I was hoping doing this would allow my feelings to flow, but… The tears… They come again…

Comments

[GreyNimbus]

Wow, you're coming along quick! Love it!