Chapter 5: Paleoclimatology
Chapter Five: Paleoclimatology
One problem with flying to a city in the sky was everypony could see you coming. Normally, the process was simple. You flew in. Done. Get on with your day. Now, Stormy lay on a cloud, peering through a sheet of vapor with the spyglass as the pegasus guards flitting to and fro inspecting ponies arriving the city. The only other two ways were to approach from above or below. Misty wasn’t up for a high altitude flight; heck, Stormy wasn’t either. And flying up from below was… icky. Plus, it was probably watched. She couldn’t believe the Royal Guard didn’t have somepony guarding the outlets.
“We’re going to have to wait for dark. Like, right in the middle of the night, and sneak in that way,” Stormy muttered.
Misty gave her a kind, yet somewhat pitying smile. “You never snuck into clubs when you were underage and it was a school night, did you?”
This was never going to work, Stormy told herself over and over again as all of Misty’s belongings clattered and clanked on the bed roll that hung over her rump. They could be seen coming from a mile away, probably heard from even farther. The torn rag that covered her head half concealed her face, but that was the point, wasn’t it? Stormy’s heart hammered in her chest; she was going back to the cell! She should just throw herself on the mercy of the Equestrian legal system. She…
“Halt! Stop and identify yourself!” snapped the white stallion in his golden armor.
Stormy let out a squeak, but Misty cleared her throat and approached the pair of guards before them. The white mare looked quite out of place with a ragged sort of skirt around her waist and bits of trash woven into her mane and tail. Oh, the tufted ears, fangs, and bat wings were also quite different. “Ah. Greetings. I am the merchant Photoblea! I come from the surface with wonders from far away and distant lands for sale in your fine city.” Then she gestured a hoof to Stormy. “This is my capable assistant, Floppy.” She leaned in towards the guards and said in a stage whisper, “Careful. She has lice.”
Well, that made them put a little more space between them. The guards blinked and the one of the left said, “Isn’t far away and distant the same thing?”
“Ahah! Indeed they are! Photoblea detects some wisdom of the ages in this one!” she said as reached over and took the sextant from where it was tied to the bedroll. “This is an ancient earth pony artifact going back millennia to the ancient alicorns of Atlantica! Through this, they conducted some of their most powerful and terrible rituals!” She cackled and then extended it towards the pair. “Fifty bits! No! Forty-five! A discount for the fine guardians of the skies!”
“That’s a sextant. We use them for long-range navigation flights,” the guard on the right replied flatly. The guard on the left lifted up Stormy’s hood with a wing, and locks of tight white mane, like dirty wool, popped into view. The guard pulled his hoof away, wiping away potential parasites.
Misty didn’t falter in the slightest. “Why so it is. That is what you use them for today. But the ancient alicorns of Atlantica used them for a far more powerful purpose. Before their empire sank beneath the waves to become the domain of sea ponies, they-”
“Move along,” the guard on the right said dismissively, flying past them to the next group arriving.
“You are fools! Passing up ancient treasures! Twenty five bits! Twenty!” she yelled after them. “Fifteen!” she said after a moment’s hesitation, and then shouted, “Photoblea needs bits for her hotel room!”
“It’s scary how good you were at that,” Stormy said once they were inside Cloudsdale proper and could shed the disguises. The city had so many pegasi that it was simply easier to blend in with the crowd.
“Well, I wanted to just fly in nonchalantly, but you were acting so nervous that I knew we’d stand out. So I just made sure we stood out for something other than ponies wanted for questioning.” Misty sighed and looked at the bed roll, one side torn to shreds to make their rags and provide Stormy her curly white mane of stuffing. Still, they could wrap up the junk in the unstuffed blanket. “So where to?”
Stormy could only think of two places, and she’d rather be plucked than go to one of them. “The Fairweather Academy. This picture was taken a few years back. Maybe somepony might recognize the other ponies in it.”
It was the only lead Stormy had. They trotted together towards the weather factory. Immediately, Stormy noticed it wasn’t churning out great big clouds any more. In fact, it seemed as if it were shut down for the day. Next door was the large four-story Fairweather Academy, Cloudsdale's school for higher education and weather specialization. If a pegasus wasn’t in racing or transportation, they came here. The academy was its usual riot of pegasi flying around, in a rush to get to class or hurrying to meet up after class.
“It looks busy. Did you have a fun education here?” Misty asked as they glided towards the front. Stormy landed on the clearing in front of the busy school and… stopped.
Had she? She’d gone to the Academy. Graduated bottom of her class, but she'd graduated. No real friends. “I… um… I don’t remember much about that time.”
“Oh?” she said, then smiled a little wider. “You were having that much fun?”
“No,” I said, pressing her lips together and fighting the urge to snap. Misty's grin faded a little. “There was an accident. I was badly hurt. Others too. It… um…” Stormy sighed and tapped her temple with a wing tip. “There are some things in here that are sort of fuzzy. Most of my classes. Pieces of my childhood. So no. I didn’t… or if I did I don’t remember it.”
Her features turned to one of concern. “That’s why that picture bothered me. I mean, when Rosewing came to Ponyville… there was nothing. No hi. No how are you doing. I remembered her from grade school, but we weren’t friends. No laughing or smiling like what’s in that picture.” Stormy closed her eyes. “I can’t even remember all of my classes. I can name my last three instructors but before that…”
“We can get a transcript,” Misty said, and they trotted to administration. Thankfully there wasn’t a citywide pony hunt for them, because the bored looking young mare behind the counter trotted to the back without alarm. Through the door, they could watch dozens of ponies moving about. “It’s pretty busy here,” Misty observed.
“Well, this is the school for weather training,” Stormy said, rubbing her head. A familiar throb was starting that promised a doozy. What great timing. “I was always so eager to come here.”
“I thought that all the pegasus colts and fillies wanted to become Wonderbolts,” Misty said with an amused giggle.
“Stereotypes. Baseless stereotypes. Sure, the Wonderbolts are awesome, but weather employs a thousand times more pegasi than racing. My whole family has been weather ponies for... I dunno... ever. My mother was a tornado wrangler when she was my age and my grand mother was a lightning bucker back before they trained you how to do it. You either had the gift or you didn’t.”
“I had no idea,” Misty said lightly.
“Well, it’s the same with unicorns, isn’t it? I mean, you don’t all want to be Princess Twilight, right?” I asked with a wry smile.
Misty blushed a little. “Maybe now they do, but when I was young I thought every unicorn dreamed of being Starswirl or Clover the Clever… just a little. Of course, then we move on to other things. A unicorn can do anything, be anything, so long as they are excellent at it. There is no slack given to an incompetent unicorn.” She said that with such solemnity that Stormy wondered just how much pressure she’d been under growing up.
“I wonder how earth ponies are, growing up,” Stormy murmured, scratching her chin.
“Oh, I can’t even imagine,” Misty said with a small roll of her eyes. “Who can understand them? I mean, they farm rocks. I worked for them for a month without the slightest clue what it was all for. Rolling and shifting rocks around? It was utterly mindboggling, and yet they took it all frightfully seriously.”
Yup. They’d found common ground being baffled by the lives of earth ponies… It’d have been sad if it weren’t a little comforting. Misty examined the students, asking, “Do all the ponies here work at the Weatherworks too?”
“It’s an apprenticeship. First year, you’re here all the time for core classes. Second year you spend a little time in class, and more time actually doing the work,” Stormy said absently.
The mare returned with a form and Stormy gave it a cursory glance. Her name, classes, instructors, and grades had all been scribbled in. “May I?” Misty asked they walked out, and Stormy handed it over to her friend’s wing. Misty considered the piece of paper. “Oh my.”
“Yeah. Almost straight F’s my final year. Impressive, huh?” Stormy said dryly. “I was lucky I didn’t flunk out completely.”
Misty stared at me for several seconds, then asked, “Stormy, have you never seen you own transcripts?”
“No. What’d be the point?” Stormy said with a shrug. “I was told I wouldn’t be allowed to be certified in lightning handling and that I’d be working out of Manehattan. Of course, that didn’t last long.”
Misty wordlessly passed the paper to Stormy and she sighed, then looked at her own record of failure.
Basic Weather Tech.: A
Stormy stared for several seconds at the little letter, wondering if her eyes deceived her. That wasn’t right. She’d failed all of her classes. She’s never gotten an ‘A’ in her…
Summer 1st year Winter 1st year Summer 2nd year Winter 2nd year
Basic Weather Tech.: A Reading: A Winter Weather: D- Emergency Weather: F
Cloud Basics: A Equestrian History: A+ Water Distribution: D- Airborne Bestiary: F
Wind Control: A Natural Science: A Team Flying: D Hazardous Weather Mats: D-
Mathematics: A
And there, at the bottom.
Due to current academic standing, we cannot authorize advancement to Lightning Certification Program. However, we feel confident Ms. Skies will prove capable in any field office and encourage her to reapply for the LCP when her academic standing has improved.
“This…” Her head ached as she sat down hard. “This isn’t right. I wasn’t good at school. I’d never been good at school,” Stormy said as she stared at the paper. "There has to be some kind of mistake," she said, looking back at the mare behind the counter. Should she risk drawing attention to herself by pointing out there were way too many 'A's on this?
“What happened at the Weatherworks?” Misty asked gently, her hoof on Stormy’s shoulder. “The accident, I mean?”
“I don’t know. I can’t remember, remember?” Stormy couldn’t take her eyes off the paper. If she stared hard enough, reality would reassert itself and turn those A’s into D’s and F’s. “There was a static collector that overcharged. Proper procedure was to evacuate the area and shut down the cloud machine. My supervisor was addressing another apprentice. Apparently I thought I could fix it because I opened the casing. The charge arced to two other collectors, overcharging them. They each arced to two more.... you get the picture. Nearly a dozen ponies were injured.” No ponies killed that time... thank the air.
“When did that happen?” Misty asked.
Stormy pointed at the column marked ‘Winter Weather’. “First month in on my second year. Then…” she shook her head. “Nothing was the same after that.” Her head ached terribly as she sniffed and looked at Misty. “I thought that… I thought that it was just a photograph.” What else had happened in her life that she misremembered?
“Did you go to the hospital after the accident?” Misty asked sympathetically.
Stormy closed her eyes, the memories whirling like razor-edged autumn leaves in a gust. “Yeah. I was burned pretty bad. Both Princess Celestia and Luna came and helped magic away a lot of the injuries… first time I was really grateful for the Princesses’ magic. But there were supposed to be follow up therapies and … I really don’t like hospitals. I was glad my burns were healed; it was more than I deserved. After that I just wanted to put my screw up behind me. I got so many ponies hurt that day.”
“Do you have bad dreams?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t remember them if I do,” Stormy said with a frown. “What’s with the sudden interest, anyway?”
“I…” Misty balked. “Can’t I just be concerned for you?”
Stormy had no clue anymore. What was truth and what was trickery with this mare? Stormy wanted to get off the topic as quickly as she could. “Anyway. It happened. It was in the past. There’s nothing to do about it, so why worry about it?” She considered the list of professors; some she remembered vaguely and others she drew a blank on. “I guess we can just go right down the list.”
Of course it wasn’t as easy as that. Some professors were teaching. Some were absent. One had retired. The few they could get in to meet vaguely remembered Stormy and apologized for having so many students. Her wind control teacher remembered her fondly, and the mare offered sympathy for her doing so poorly her second year. “You should have had an A in Emergency Weather. If it hadn’t been for the accident setting you back,” the pink pegasus professor told her as they finished up their brief talk, “I think you would have been disaster response material.” Sadly, she hadn’t been able to identify anyone in the photograph, the elderly mare squinting hard at the page.
As they trotted out of her office, Misty asked, “Disaster response?”
“Wonderbolts for weather teams,” Stormy replied. “There were one or two in Ponyville after that bolt went off, I’m sure. Their job is to tackle freak weather, magical storms, and feral clouds.” She glanced over her shoulder, back at the classroom. That the professor had thought she had that potential… well, she was probably just being nice.
Stormy wasn’t sure this was going to get them anywhere now. It’d been two hours and they’d only found four of her teachers. Maybe it was time to just go back to Ponyville, turn in the picture, and call it a day?
Then she heard a droning voice that sounded… familiar. It came from a small classroom at the end of the hall. Stormy trotted closer, her ears twitching. Dry. Dull. Disinterested. The anesthetizing voice niggled at her damaged memories. She read the plaque outside the classroom. ‘Dr. Epimetheus. Equestrian History.’ What kind of egghead name was that?
She stepped into a classroom far different from the sparse, functional chambers of her other teachers. After all, when you were working with lightning and rainclouds, decorations were a liability. This room, on the other hand, was a clash between a rare book store, a cartographer’s shop, and an antique swap meet. If the walls weren’t decorated with dozens of old maps, then they were covered with books shelves filled floor to ceiling with tomes. Any remaining space was occupied by any number of strange artifacts: a pegasi warrior’s crested helmet, a unicorn skull on the desk with an old dusty silver crown atop its head, even a suit of barding suspended from the ceiling in the corner. As fascinating as the room was, only a nine students were in attendance. Four of which were sleeping, three who were reading, one who was doing homework for another class, and the last was staring blankly in the direction of the professor, drool creeping along the yellow length of wood. But all of Stormy's attention was locked on the professor...
One of the stallions from the photograph.
He was the oldest of the six in the picture. His coat was a dusky blue and his mane gray with streaks of white. The grayish blue tweed jacket he wore sported patches on the sleeves behind his front knees, and appeared just as dusty as the rest of the room. He looked thinner than he did in the paper, with dark patches under his eyes. Eyes which stared flatly at his audience as he spoke in the monotone of recitation. Then they turned slowly over to Stormy and a change swept over the thin, old stallion. His pale blue eyes sharpened immediately and a smile came to his lips. He lost ten years almost instantly.
“Something’s come up. Read unit four, chapters fifteen and sixteen, for next week. It will be on the midterm,” he said as he pulled off his wire frame glasses, tugged out a navy blue silk scarf, and polished the lenses briskly. His students jerked out of their stupor and quite happily began to file out, glad for the early release. When they vacated the room, he put his glasses back on and grinned. “My dear, so wonderful to see you again! Truly.”
Stormy could almost cry with relief. Here was a lead. Somepony who could answer her questions, put an end to her confusion, and maybe even write a statement. “Doctor Epimetheus. I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you,” Stormy nearly sobbed.
“Quite all right. Quite all right,” he said with a bob of his head. “I know you’re having terrible difficulties with that paper, but I’m sure that if we poke through the draft a little harder we can tighten it up nicely, alright Lightning Flash?”
Stormy let out a strangled squeak.
Ten minutes later they were in his office behind the classroom; it was so choked with books and artifacts that Misty was forced to stand in the doorway. Stormy could only imagine the enchantments on the rooms that kept everything from plunging down to the surface below. Doctor Epimetheus settled back in an overstuffed lounge chair with a sigh. “Dreadfully sorry for the mix-ups. I have so many students that frequently the names and faces blur together. But just ask me about the battle of Pegapolitia and I’ll right as rain… except when it comes to the duel of Shadowfall and Flarefeather. I can never keep those two mares straight. You see, Shadowfall was sixth in line to-”
“Doctor, please excuse me,” Misty said, breaking him off, “but Stormy here needs your help. She’s trying to find out the identity of certain ponies in a photograph.”
Stormy passed the photo to him and he adjusted the glasses. “Mmm… my word,” he murmured, then glanced up at the two. “Let me think. There’s you. And that’s… mmmm…” He pointed a wing at the ponies. “That’s… Cirrus?” he said as he pointed at Rosewing. Stormy almost collapsed then and there, but he tapped the paper with a hoof. “No. Wait! Tulipwing! Daisywing. Some-kind-of-plant-wing?”
It was something at least. “Rosewing! Yes. Rosewing. And the others?” Stormy asked as she pointed at the image of the stallion who’d attacked them. “I’m really interested in him.”
“That would be… erm… hmmm… Tumble? Tackle? Tussle? T-something-sporty,” he said, rubbing his chin with his wing. “He dropped out of the weather program as I recall… if I recall correctly.” Stormy leaned over and put her head on a stack of books.
“The other two… mmm… older ponies than I usually get. Generally that’s significant… mmm…” He turned the picture on its side. “The older mare is… ssss… Erm… Ah! Sunlight Sparkle. Wonderful mare. Works out in Las Pegasus… or was it Baltimare? Ponyville? Hrm. And the stallion is… mmm… I simply can’t recall him. Sorry.”
Stormy deflated. In a way, this was almost worse than knowing nothing at all. “What about the cave? I mean… you have to remember a cave?” How could any pony forget the certainty that any moment they were going to be crushed flat?
“Mmmm… I think that was during the semester break. A class excursion to Lithopolis I believe. Fascinating place for ponies who like rocks, I suppose,” he said with a dismissive wave of the hoof. “Rather hot and dusty, but I didn’t plan the trip.”
Stormy slumped. A dead end. No. Not a dead end. Just a fuzzy one. Stormy had no idea what her next move should be. Fly off to Las Pegasus or Balitmare looking for Sunlight Sparkle? Search around Cloudsdale in the hope she’d run into the stallion? Or should she do what Fluttershy suggested and just dump everything in Princess Twilight’s hooves and start carrying mail parcels?
Each option left her more disappointed than the last.
“Doctor? May I ask you a question?” Misty asked politely. When the old pegasus nodded, she smiled and asked, “Why would somepony need to steal lightning? Why not just buy it?”
Stormy huffed, opening her mouth to quote the half dozen or so Equestrian royal statues regulating lightning. Those she knew well enough, as she’d been lectured on them ad nauseam.
But before she could, the old stallion said, nearly casually, “Because it’s a violation of the Equestrian Accords, of course.” He blinked a second later and then added apologetically, “But that’s just a bunch of old law that’d bore you to tears.”
But this was something… odd. “Wait. What are the Equestrian Accords?” Stormy asked. She felt the profound sense that she’d asked that before.
He exhaled and took off his glasses, extracted a small silk cloth from his vest pocket, and polished the lenses. “The Equestrian Accords are the legal foundation for the land of Equestria.” At their expectant silence, he sighed again and replaced the glasses. “It is a particularly long and dull subject. I’m sure you have better things to do.”
But there was something about this that nagged at her. “I’ve never heard of them before. I thought all the laws were just things Princess Celestia decided,” Stormy said as she leaned closer to him.
“Princess Celestia has become the legislator, executor, and adjudicator of Equestrian law, but the foundations of the country’s legal system predate her rule.” He shook his head, pausing to remove and examine the clarity of his glass lens again with a frown. Misty glanced over at Stormy and the gray mare nodded firmly. He seemed to consider her for several seconds before giving in. “Well, if you insist…”
He cleared his throat and adopted an academic tone. “You’ve been to a Hearth's Warming Eve pageant before, yes?” They both nodded and he gave them a half smile. “Do you believe the events in the pageant are true to the historical facts of the day?”
“Well, I guess I never really thought about it,” Misty Morning murmured. “Aren’t they?”
He sighed, leaning back in his seat. “This is why ponies need to take history more seriously. So little appreciation for their heritage.” He folded his hooves before him. “Fifteen hundred years ago, the three major tribes of ponykind were locked in a rather acrimonious relationship.”
“Yes. The earth ponies raised the food in exchange for weather and the sun, right?” Misty Morning asked, hopefully.
“More like the earth ponies grew the food, the unicorns took the food, and the pegasi bought the food in exchange for terrorizing the earth ponies,” he said with a chuckle. “Of course, sometimes it was the pegasi taking the food, and anything else precious and not nailed down from the unicorn manor. And sometimes it was the earth ponies refusing to grow the food. Or the unicorns forcing earth ponies to grow it at sword point. Or… well… you get the idea.”
“The different pony tribes battled each other?” Misty asked, aghast. "I just thought it was... well... arguments and hoof fights!"
“The past can be a horrible place at times,” he said casually, sweeping a wing aside as if dismissing her horror. “The point is that the three ponies kinds were not friends. They could work together in times of crisis, or they could be at ends, and increasingly it was the latter over the former.”
“But then the windigos attacked and forced them to work together and find a new home, right?” Stormy asked. When the academic smiled patronizingly, she frowned, “Let me guess. That wasn’t right either?”
“Oh, there were certainly windigos,” he said casually. “But there were much worse things besides that. Unicorn mind control. Necromancy. Earth pony poisons and ravenous beasts. And, of course, pegasi with their Lightning Lances and Thunderforges. The conflict escalated. It magnified.”
“Lightning Lances?” The word thrilled her. “What is that? Like, class A lightning?” Her eagerness seemed to surprise him for a moment.
“A hundred times more powerful than mere class A lightning. Truly, a force to be feared and respected,” he said with a soft chuckle. “The raw energy of the storm condensed and focused in a Thunderforge to a single bolt easily wielded by a lone pegasus. The power was truly beyond modern understanding. Just one would have been capable of eradicating Nightmare Moon or Discord. Their energy disrupts and negates magic, making it a truly terrifying weapon against unicorn and earth pony strongholds.”
“That sounds horrifying,” Misty shivered.
“More horrifying than unicorns raising the dead, or creating and employing magical beasts like windegos?” the doctor asked with a dreadful little smile. “You were quite correct that the three tribes needed a new homeland, but the three did not do so to thaw a magical windego winter. Each of the three tribes came to this place fully prepared to make war.”
“But what happened?” Stormy asked.
“Accounts differ, but all agree that there was a battle between the three tribes, and one called for a truce. A time-out to collect the wounded and account for the dead. When the toll was taken, three representatives met and agreed the fighting must stop. That they would eradicate themselves if they did not. And in dire violation of their commanders and leaders back home, all three halted hostilities.”
“But… wouldn’t they be pleased?” Misty asked in a scared little voice. "If they stopped fighting in Equestria, they could stop fighting there too, right?"
“Why would they want to? The grudges of the three tribes were deeply entrenched back home. They wanted to annex this land for their own people. It was fertile, and lush, and whole. And so, in defiance to their leaders, Commander Hurricane, Princess Platinum, and Councilor Puddinghead all signed an agreement: the Equestrian Accords. It pledged unity and protection to all signatory members.”
He rose and trotted to a chest, pulling out an old, faded banner showing a green field, a cloud in a blue sky, and a mountain with a star-shaped purple gem in the center. “The homelands were outraged, and each sent an army to overthrow the rebels. Ironically, had the three armies worked together, they would have certainly overrun the fledgling nation. But the three armies fought each other more fiercely than the rebels. The early Equestrians played one power against the other, employing clever misdirection and valorous raids. And all the while, they allowed any of the enemy to sign the Accords and join them. In time, the armies of their attackers dwindled while the rebels grew. Some in the homelands actually fled to Equestria to escape strife at home.”
“So what happened after that?” Stormy asked.
He carefully folded the banner and slipped it back in the chest. “Nopony knows for sure, but the fears were realized. The old homelands were lost. To this day, how they perished and where the old homelands lay is unknown. Some claim the homelands were north of the Crystal Empire, buried in endless ice by a unicorn curse. Others that they lie far to the south beyond the Appleloosan desert, buried in the sands of an eternal whirlwind. Still others claim it was an great island continent that sank beneath the waves from a terrible earthquake.
“What did matter was suddenly three very different kinds of ponies were forced to live closely together, and they needed to be able to trust one another. They were awash in refugees who harbored deeply etched fears and hatreds, but who also dreamed of a better life. So, how could you have a unicorn neighbor, knowing that at any time they might cast a spell to control your will? Or a pegasus who might threaten to destroy your home with a lightning bolt? Or that your groceries grown by an earth pony aren’t poisoned? And so the Equestrian Accords were modified, establishing the Equestrian Council, and mandating that each group give up certain privileges and powers.”
“Like mind control spells?” Stormy asked, and the Doctor nodded.
“Indeed. There’s a list, but they largely boil down to spells which usurp the mind of a pony, spells that intentionally inflict grievous bodily harm to its victims, or spells which defile the soul of a pony. That includes necromancy.” He returned to his seat, sitting back with a groan.
Then Stormy frowned. “Wait. What about that time Twilight cast that spell that made everypony in Ponyville go crazy for her doll?”
“Yes, I read about that,” he said with a dark chuckle. “Interesting, isn’t it? A gross violation of the Accords. Of course, she was the Princess’s 'special student' and no pony was hurt, so I suppose that was why the Princess let it slide. Still, if any other unicorn made a similar mistake, she would have found herself in grave trouble. And if it was discovered she broke the Accords intentionally… well… there’s a place in Equestria for those ponies.” From his tone, it was clear it wasn’t a pleasant place. Misty actually shivered.
“And the pegasi gave up… what?” Misty asked with a small, nervous smile.
“We were no longer allowed to be… careless… with the weather. There were days when pegasi would craft thousand wing-power tornadoes simply because we could. Or drop snow in the middle of growing season. Or melt the winter snow all at once and flood a unicorn palace. Ah, those were the days,” he said with a chuckle. At Misty’s reproachful glance, he shook a pinion at her. “Oh, don’t give me that look. Don’t tell me you’ve never thought of dropping a gallon of sleet on an unsuspecting and stuffed up unicorn in their ridiculous ensembles.” He said, adopting a sarcastic accent for the word.
Stormy snickered, but then immediately coughed contritely at Misty’s cool stare. The doctor didn’t seem to catch it as he went on speaking, “We were also banned from creating Lightning Lances. All Thunderforges were broken down for scrap. All but one.” He craned his neck to look out the window at the cloud factory. “Cloudsdale retains an inactive Thunderforge, for extreme emergencies.” He rolled his eyes, “Though what that might be is unknown. If Discord and Nightmare Moon didn’t warrant its use, I shudder to think what would.”
“Are there any ponies who still know how to use it?” Stormy asked.
For some reason, that made him pause and smile. “A dozen, perhaps, and the knowledge is carefully recorded and saved for such an event,” he said calmly. “But I suspect it’s something whose time has passed. With Princesses, what need do we have for such things?”
Misty frowned, then asked, “What about the earth ponies? What did they give up?”
“Seeds,” the doctor said simply.
“Seeds?” Stormy repeated, skeptically.
“Oh yes. The seeds to a wide variety of… highly interesting plants. Some poisonous. Some magical. Some highly addictive. Some that sterilize the ingestor. Some that drive a pony insane. Dozens of these plants were cultivated by earth ponies in their underhooved war. They might not have had magic or control of the skies, but earth ponies were far from helpless. There was many a pegasus warlord enslaved by the chains of addiction, or unicorn noble slain by their soup. Of course the reprisals were terrible. Unicorns and pegasi both spent a great deal of time and effort ensuring their food sources were secure, but sometimes all it would take was one drop of an extract or one tainted pint of cider and…” he shook his head. “Some historians say earth pony baking should be considered weapons research.”
“Um… but those plants are long gone, right?” Stormy asked nervously, thinking back to the last mug of cider she’d drunk.
“No. Under the accords, each pony tribe is allowed a… repository. One Thunderforge. One book of forbidden spells. One collection of terrifying seeds. The Black Book of Canterlot is the recording of all illegal spells and how to cast and use them, in detail. The Manehattan Horticultural Society maintains their collection of plants, all overseen by the Royal Guard.” He tapped his hooves together. “Of course, said Guard are all earth ponies.”
“But why keep them around when we have the Princesses?” Misty asked.
The doctor sighed, shaking his head. “Why do so many ask that?” He adjusted his glasses with a wing as he looked at her. “Each pony tribe is responsible for their own well-being. We did not forfeit our right to defend ourselves from outside threats simply because Princess Celestia rules us. The fall of Princess Luna to become Nightmare Moon shows even Princesses are not infallible. What if Celestia were to fall in similar fashion? Or what if they were both corrupted by their power? A Lightning Lance is the only weapon that might allow pegasi to defend themselves.” He tapped his hooves together, saying soberly, “We do not keep these weapons to use. We keep these weapons in the hopes they will never be used.”
The two didn’t have anything to say to that. If Stormy hadn’t met Misty, she might have agreed outright. And while Misty didn’t precisely engender trust with her deceptive habits, Stormy didn’t think she was out to screw her. “And what happens if somepony breaks the Accords?” Stormy asked in a low voice, trying to keep the fear from coming through.
His smile was calm, almost serene, as he replied, “Interesting times, my dear mare. Very interesting times.” He sighed and rose, trotting to the window to his office again. “When Celestia and Luna took over rulership of the three tribes, it was in response to Discord attempting to get us to violate the Accords. We were close. So very close. His manipulation and torments were on one hoof gross and obvious, and on the other terribly subtle. The Princesses, however, were able to employ a different method of dealing with him… the Elements of Harmony.”
“When the Princesses took power after Discord, the Accords were altered yet again. The three tribes formally yielded much of their autonomy to their rule, giving them the right. The Equestrian Council became largely a figure head, with a few ceremonial and traditional traits. For instance, the unicorn ‘nobility’ in a country with one absolute monarch. Or earth ponies electing a mayor or sheriff for their communities. Or pegasi giving positions of authority in military fashion. The Council still exists, but they’re largely figureheads at this point. Many ponies don’t even know of them or their responsibilities.”
Misty cleared her throat, “Doctor Epimetheus… you don’t sound like you approve of the Accords.”
He waved a wing dismissively. “I absolutely appreciate what they did and were intended to do. What I do not appreciate was our ancestors yielding our authority to a monarchical god figure whose sister, forgive my vulgarity, spit her bit and tried to take over our people.” He sighed and shook his head. “But it seems Princesses are a permanent fixture in Equestria, regardless of certain dissenting opinion. Now we’ve at least four. Possibly more lurking in the wings.” He shook his head. “And the most powerful two, Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight, were unicorns originally. The two that were pegasi originally, Princess Luna and Princess Cadance, have far more minor roles in Equestria.” He sighed and waved his hoof again. “But that’s an academic arguing point going back a millennia.”
“Princess Celestia was a unicorn?” Misty said with clear surprise.
“Yes. Two sisters. One unicorn and the other pegasus… it was a potent symbol at a time when Discord was doing all he could to drive us apart. There are even myths of a third sister, an earth pony, but there’s been no corroboration of this. Certainly nopony has successfully broached the topic to Their Majesties.” He sighed and frowned at a clock on the mantle. “Didn’t I…”
He gasped and rocked forward to his feet. “Oh! Admin meeting. So tedious. Started ten minutes ago. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to hurry up so I can nod off at appropriate times. If you could tell me how to find you in case I remember something else, Miss… Victorious Volt? Zealous Zap? Er…” he paused, seeming to melt a little. “Perhaps you could write it down along with where I can get in touch with you?”
Getting in touch? How? Stormy had no idea what to do now. She was very close to simply throwing it all in Princess Twilight’s hooves and begging for clemency. It was just that that felt like it would be overwhelming failure. There was one option though… but… sweet air above, was she really contemplating her?
“If you do, just mail to this address. I can pick it up from her later,” Stormy said before scribbling down her name and the address.
“Thank you. Thank you,” he muttered as he looked at the note and frowned. “Sunny Skies? Sunny Skies… that sounds so familiar…” He blinked at Stormy. “By any chance…”
May as well confess it now, Stormy decided. Like ripping off a band-aid. “Yeah. Cloudsdale Weather Manager Sunny Skies,” Stormy said with a resigned sigh. “My sister.”
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Aaaand the plot thickens eve further. :)
"Both Princess Celestia and Luna came and helped magic away a lot of the injuries"
Interesting.
"I thought all the laws were just things Princess Celestia decided"
Luna: "Right, right, don't mind me! I'm only the co-ruler of the country and one of the immensely powerful ponies who helped heal you! I'll just be here, sitting on the floor beside my sister's big impressive throne. It's not as if me feeling neglected ever lead to problems, after all; I'll be fine!"
Twilight is more powerful than Cadance?
I mean, magically she is, but Cadance has a higher political rank.
And since she's a Pegasus instead of a Unicorn, she gets to cast mind control spells without violating the accords!
That's the most hardcore version of the Hearthswarming story I've ever seen. I love these super weapons.
4881177
Cadance rules the Crystal Empire, which may sound grand but is actually a small city out in the middle of nowhere. (Twilight gets to fight all the big super monsters.) And since she's an Alicorn, it would only make sense that she's barred from using any of the three race's banned stuff.
Somber! Chapter 4 was nice and had only single spaces between sentences. Everything looked fine. Now you've gone back to double spaces between sentences. Look at the horror! (I've honestly never seen a spacing glitch as bad as the one between the "with" and the "a".)
Remember: Fimfiction assumes single spaces between sentences. Double spaces makes Fimfiction freak out (on mobile devices).
Good chapter, as usual, but I did a double take when I read that Twilight is more powerful and influential than Luna. Eh? The brand new princess vs. the millennia-old one? What's your train of logic here?
I'm also amused that even in your "normal" fics you make sure the ponies have apocolypse-causing weapons. The Black Book ought to have been the zebras' repository.
Kinda like Lee Harvey Oswald, Stormy's actions are either making or breaking someone's plan, and shes gonna take the fall for it...
My theory:
This professor (possibly part of an even bigger scheme, or maybe not), in his study of history, came to be a pegasus nationalist fanatic. He gathered around himself promising young students and started planning a way to start a revolution, overturn the accords, and restore the pegasi to their past glory. Stormy was being groomed to operate the Thunderforge, but the accident, whatever the story with that is, wiped out her memory and made her essentially useless to them. They went on without her, however, and the lightning bolt that showed up in Ponyville was a test/prototype/whatever for one of those Lightning Lance things. Also, either the professor is genuinely senile, or it's an act, to keep his own hooves clean.
I don't know how close I am, but either way, this is shaping up to be pretty interesting.
Nice chapter, maybe my favorite so far.
I was honestly expecting the professor to scoff and say the earth ponies had no superweapon. That the most they had was a resistance movement as the pegasi and unicorns fought for the right to control the farm-slaves.
That said, it still sounded like all they had going for them was subterfuge likely immediately followed by execution. Nothing like a bolt of lightning that can level a castle or a spell that can make a town rip itself apart.
Oh man, that was a lot more fun. Feels tighter all around, and when Photoblea showed up I felt the characterization had finally hit stride.
Shifty professor is quite shifty, isn't he?
I can't decide if I want more of this or Project Horizons! Great work so far!
The law and lore exposition bit was probably the part I found most interesting in this chapter. Fun fun~
Anarchist's Pastry Cookbook indeed.
Severe storm warning!